Son of Ra (16 page)

“What are you doing?”  I was completely confused. 

“Confirmation.”

“Of what?”  I was getting impatient and wanted his lips back.

“That you made a point to notice my eyes when you’ve spiked my desire.”

I blushed brightly.  He knew I’d figured it out. 

“And you’re eyes glaze over.   A shiny, dreamy look.  I’ve seen it several times this week, but I didn’t appreciate it till you pointed out my symptoms.”

“Symptoms?  We are catching this from each other.  Like the flu?”

He laughed at me.  “I think I caught whatever you’re giving and I am willing and able to take regular doses on a daily basis.”

“Sounds permanent.”

“Hoping for it anyway.” He was serious sounding, but shrugged.

This conversation is way out of hand.  He recognized my discomfort.  Embarrassing!  Incredible!  Craziness!  All at the same time.  I’m going to explode with emotions.

Let’s get you home.

Not home, just a place to go.  I have no home.

He smiled.  Nothing more.

Chapter Sixteen

…Never Did Run Smooth.

Neither of us would give anymore tonight.  We would part once again with an ache inside that only the other could fulfill.  The only comfort was in knowing when I would see him next.  And twenty-four hours wasn’t quick enough.  I hastily told him I would leave my ring off before bed to meet him in my dreams.  He smiled at my forwardness and kissed me goodnight.  I wondered after he was gone if I’d made a good decision doing that.  I systematically ice princessed back to my old thinking of allowing myself to be vulnerable and considered it just plain stupid.  But...my heart was pushing the ice out and over the edge.  His warmth was taking me over.  Once again the wisdom of Jane and Eliza and the others from my book of knowledge we call love ran through my thoughts, except this time it was pushing me towards him even more.  “When she is secure of him, there will be a leisure for falling in love as much as she chooses.”  Was that where I am at?  Not falling in love before hampers the decision making skills in my opinion, but no one really falls in love more than once.  I believe they may have infatuations, even think they are in love, but when you know, you just know.  Do I?

ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ

I started across the lawn when I saw legs disappear around the corner.  I followed them.  It was Lee.  I had him.

“What are you doing out here?”

“Same to you, princess.” Lee was not his usual overly sweet self.  That’s funny just to think about.   

I was tired of the nickname, so I broke my own rule and brought it up.  “Do you think you could call me by my name?”

...Kissa.

I swung my head around searching for Cas.  I heard him.  Maybe he’d just thought my name, or rather what he called me.

Lee shrugged. 

“Repeating my question is not important here, the answer is.”  I folded my arms as I hissed in his face.

“I had a job.”  Lee’s right eye twitched under the falling hair.  A liar’s twitch.

“Anything like spying on me for years?  And you’re avoiding the other question.”

“Yes, I ferret out information to other factions.  It’s good money.  And no, you are the princess that I once knew and will always be to me.”

“You’re a narc?” I focused on the important part.  I was right all along.

“Well, that’s so yesterday.  Information handler!” He waved an arm like it was funny mocking a female voice.

“You’re serious.”

“Very.  Interesting news tonight.  I was beginning to think this Valkyrie Princess story was a myth.  Or rumor.  But I know the truth.  Or rather, I was told the truth.”

“Who was asking?” I clipped my hand over his arm and held his sleeve.  He knew things.  He’d hidden a lot.  And he was acting weird about it.

His eyes took in where I twisted his shirt up and said to me, “I can’t tell you that now, Princess.  That would put me in a place where I might not get paid.  And I don’t have parents to pay for my school.  I’ll only make it known that I want you to stay far away from Quinn.  No matter what.”

He was bitter.  That explains a lot and nothing at all.  “Why won’t you tell me more?  Do you not care at all what happens to me?”  Quinn? He was dirty after all.  That explains why Lee kept his distance from him regardless of whatever bygones I know nothing about.

“Don’t play that card with me.  We both know you don’t care one ounce about what happens to me,” he actually raised his voice to me.

“That’s not fair.  Everything you ever said was a lie.  And I have to solve whatever I can about myself because until recently I was playing the same game you were and didn’t know it.  My hidden life was kept from me.  You chose to be a traitor.”

“Traitor?”  His eyes teared up.  “You think me a traitor?” 

He didn’t just wipe a tear, did he?  Nope, not likely!

“I loved you.  I have loved you longer than any other who claims so perhaps. I have done everything I could to steer all of them away from you.  You call me a traitor, but this position keeps you alive.” 
              Not this.  Anything but this.  Why is everyone confessing their love for me suddenly?
 
“Keeps me alive?  How?”  I asked in disbelief.  The plausible way these men tell me what they think I want to hear is more than I can take.  I went years with no affection from said males and now they all fall of at my feet.  I can appreciate the solitude of knowing my father kept me from a few heartaches.

“I do this for you.  I know exactly who and what you are.  Do you remember the night at the garden?  By the water?”

I nodded.  Couldn’t forget that
.  Ever!

“I was sent to try to kill you that night.  To see if you could die.”  He was manly crying, I think.  The kind where they acted like their nose itched or their forehead needed rubbing.

“Why?” I wanted him to get on with it.  I knew this story already and the air was rimpling my skin sourly with his tainted words.

“Thorn saved you.  I couldn’t do it.  I slit your finger with a knife.  You cried out, but it had healed before you could say or do anything back.  I was taken away from your court minutes after that.”

Cas saved me how?  I couldn’t handle seeing the boy cry but he knew my secrets.  The question was, who else did?  “Look, forget it.  We’ve moved on.  You know about me.  You’ve known about me, but chose not to tell.  So be it.  I need to know who else knows about me.  The fact is, some want me dead, and some want me alive to be their queenie.  I can’t defend myself if I don’t know.”

“I was sent in to see if you were the prophecy girl from the stories.  Borgon would not rest until he was sure.”

Borgon?  Lee
was
in on it for years.  I wanted to scream!  I felt my face turn a shade of red then probably purple by the way I held my breath.  Then I caught on the fact that he told me and it wasn’t an accident.  Okay!  Fine!  “Um, why don’t I just show him.  It might save someone from getting hurt.”

He mulled this over and said, “I’ll let you know.”  Lee was composed again.  This was not the closed off, arrogant guy who screamed bad boy all over.  He looked lost.  And he’d just shed tears in front of me, kind of.  His eyes were purpled with circles under them.  His hair was mused up and out of control like his usual but I think his hands have lost their ability to stay still.

“Did you know about the two boys who were killed the same day you disappeared?”  I waited with abated breath held praying he’d say no.

“Do you want me to say no?” he eyed me with fear.  The fear that he’d lose me in that one statement.

With that,
I knew
.  He was at point of no return.  He’d offered himself to the devils.

I offered a small fake truce, “I admire you for doing all this.  I want you as an ally, not an enemy.  I’m tired of having to see you as that.  You always act like you hate me now.”

“Hate you?  Far from it.  I’m devoted to you.”

“Look, you flatter me.  But I’m not that girl anymore. I need you Lee, as an ally.  Whatever you know, please think about sharing it with me.”  Even if I know you’re a traitor.

“I can’t be your ally.  That’s what keeps them coming back for me to do their jobs.  They think I hate you.  If I don’t keep the front, they’ll know.”

This was a discovery in itself.  “Who are THEY?”  Borgon and his army of “all against Stace” are on the guard with this head spy boy doing the dirty work.  If he’s working for Borgon, my information leaking would cease altogether or I’d start feeding him lies.  Either way, Lee and I were through.  He’d have to man up or ship out.

Lee darted his eyes around.  “No one.”  He leaned in to whisper but must of changed his mind. 

Ship out it is.

“Well, you’ll have to remember when all this is over, you are my friend.”  I placed my hand on his shoulder feeling sorry for him even if he was somewhat the enemy.  We still had a past whether I shipped his ass out to the curb or not.  And I still had qualms with his uncle.  He was in it up to his ears, I was sure of it.

“It will never be over Anastacia.”

“I have to believe it will.  Until then, we are enemies.  I’ll just be careful how much I tell you because I’m still not completely convinced that this little act of yours is not a ploy to get me caught.  Until further notice, stay on your guard because I am watching you.”  I made like a greyhound and walked to my dorm and didn’t look back.  Only the lonely pay a price for their love in the end.  I seem to be the giver of loneliness and keeper of more than I can give.  These gods that deem my life with their “destinies” are asking for too much.

I would worry about tomorrow…tomorrow.

Chapter Seventeen

It’s like you can seem inside my soul...

That night I had a dream.  My ring was tucked neatly in my pouch around my waist allowing me to hear him.  I woke up occasionally since I came back to the Hunter school, but I didn’t trust sleep.  My knives were at the ready. 

My dream.  This time it was really real.  I met my mother.

She came to me like a tunnel of darkness and light combined moving closer and closer.  When she was standing beside me, I realized I was wearing the same white gauzy gown she was wearing.  She stood and looked me over in the motherly kind of way at first and then smiled.  She was beautiful.  I looked like her with my blonde tresses and long leanness though her hair was perfection as it curved around her face and hanging in just the right places over her shoulders.  I looked about her age.  That’s very disturbing. 

“Anastacia Anat, my visitation is not without reason.  I feel you are ready to know me fully and find your next day on earth to be well thought out before it starts.  What you do from the time you wake will have an impact on all of the unearthly creatures who inhabit the civilization this earth doesn’t deserve.”

I cocked my head sideways to look around for want of knowing we were completely alone, “Am I dreaming?”

She smiled slowly.  “Yes, as are your male counterparts right now who are visiting their parental units.  We created you to change our own greed driven mistakes of the past.  As history has claimed, we gods meddle in the affairs of humans and their corresponding supernatural factions living amongst them.”

She let me stare a second in thought and ask, “They will wake up tomorrow having some of the same advice?”

“No, they will wake with the knowledge of what they need to do to accompany you with what you decide.”

I took that into consideration.  I wanted to ask "Why me?", but decided against it.  “And if I fail to do the right thing?”

“The factions will fall.”

I snorted at the goddess of whatever who called me here, “No pressure.”   I hesitated then did ask just to confirm,  “Are you my mother?”

“Yes.”

“But my father is not my father?”

“No, your father is from my world.  He volunteered for the need that was greater than a human could offer.  I picked your earthly father after watching him.  He is strong and courageous.  He is the father of your brother?”

“So we’re not twins?”

“In theory yes.”

Wow, he’s really half Valkyrie.  “Why did you come to see me?” I didn’t need to I guess. 

“And here we are again.  Are you ready for what I need to tell you?”

I guessed right then that it is all real and I will have to put on my big girl panties and take it like it is.  I will not shy away from what she tells me to do and will give the task my best shot.  Thank you Pat B for giving the proverbial push.  I nodded at my so-called goddess mother.

“I am proud of my creation.  You are everything I hoped you would be and will see you till the end of this task at the whisper of a call.  If you need me for anything at all, call my name into your mind and say your need.”

“What exactly is your name?”  I asked without shyness.

“Anat.  Sometimes also known as Atan, or even Aten.  One in the same no matter what histories tell you.”

Well, that was simple.  I was expecting a twenty character line of letters that would surely be so hard to say I would forget it and say it wrong losing my ability to call on her in this dire need I was going to have.  And the mixture of Egyptian and Roman and other groups with the true and not so true was surprising to validate or at least be aware of.

“You will wake tomorrow and find your elected males whom you need for they strengthen your abilities.  You will call them into one accord and announce them as your equal.  They are not your equal but they are male and will be told so.  You will give them each the sense that they are worthy of their sacrifices in every way and will make sure their jobs are of upmost importance.  How you convey this is your choosing, but know that everything depends of how you make it to be.  You will be expected to join the factions in one accord and make it so that they will be decision makers at one table.  How to do this is up to you.  I have given your father on earth all the necessary means to prepare you for this.  You need only to charge yourself and your male counterparts with controlling the masses and their petty foolishness ended.”

“Others will never believe me.  They will think you’re a figment of my imagination.”

“I am not new to this.  If I need intervention, I will call upon measures needed, but not at your request.”

Well, la-te-da!  “And if I fail?”

“I will not repeat myself.  You need to meet your last elected male.  He is essential and...human.”

“Human?”  I thought we were talking gods here.

“Yes, you need elected officials in all races represented or those who would represent the other races for them.  The human awaits you and knows he is needed. The earthly leaders are out of balance and have the lost their ability of acceptance. You’re making that step.”

“So you had all this planned and I met these male counterparts as you say at all the exact times you deemed the right time so that I could come to this moment and make a major decision for all those living on earth.  Me Stace, a girl, one person.”

“Don’t sell yourself short on anything but what you are.  You hold great power at your fingertips that men would kill for.  The gods will always take charge even if it means destroying man. Don’t hold that lightly.  You will be faced with the worst decisions at the most crucial of moments.  Above all, you must survive.”

I got an underlying message here. “And my male counterparts don’t?”

She smiled.  Not a rude one, but a sad smile for my comfort.  “No, they are expendable.”
              “Do they know this?”

“Yes.”

Brilliant.  “Anything else mother of mine?”  I was pissed and I know I shouldn’t be this way with a goddess who could probably kick my butt into next Sunday!

“Daughter, you are just what you are. To be given life by two gods is a rare gift and easily frowned upon.  We don’t always have the results we want. I will give you a bit of motherly advice if you will allow me that small gesture though I can read that you feel me unworthy of this.” 

My skin paled at her reading me so well.

“Sarcasm and words don’t always mix with making a quarrelling world come together.  Choose your words wisely and show wisdom in decisions.  Allow Eos’s son to calm you.  The son of Orion will defend your greatest honor.  The human will challenge your best and worst decisions.  And my son will compliment you with any great need that I can’t bring to you.  I leave you now.  You have much to do.”

“Can I ask you something?”

She nodded.  She was still standing where she was.  “Do you love me?”

“Dear daughter, love is an emotion I am without.  I respect and am honored to have you as my daughter, but I do not live in that world.”

Okay.  I stared a bit too long.  “I guess I leave now?”

“I will be with you always.  I have seen you live and will continue. Goodbye for now daughter.”

And just like that, I woke up.