Somewhere to Hide (The Estate, Book 1) (20 page)

‘I wasn’t really expecting to learn anything,’ Josie said afterwards as she and Cathy tidied up the room. ‘But you never know when you might have to defend yourself in day-to-day life.’

‘I don’t often go out after dark, if I can help it.’ Cathy stacked a chair on top of a pile underneath the window. ‘But some of those things would be useful if I didn’t feel safe.’

‘And there were so many tips. I particularly liked the one where she said to yell fire if you felt threatened. How many people would come running then rather than if you just screamed?’

‘Do you need any help in here, ladies?’ Matt popped his head around the door.

‘I think we can manage to move a few tables,’ Josie teased. ‘After what we’ve been taught, we no longer feel the weaker sex, do we, Cathy?’

Cathy grinned.

‘Oh, you’ve been to the self-defence class. Tell me more.’ Matt came into the room. ‘You have me intrigued.’

Josie gathered together two plastic cups that had been left on a table and put them in the bin. ‘Shall we show him what we’ve learned?’

Cathy pursed her lips, trying to stop the grin from looking maniacal. How come she always acted like a tongue-tied teenager whenever Matt came on the scene? It had happened when he’d called to sort out her car again after the vandalism. She’d gone bright red every time he’d spoken to her. In the end, after handing him a cuppa, she’d headed back indoors for fear of making a total idiot of herself. She glanced at Josie.

‘Shall we show him the elbow jab?’ Cathy moved to Matt’s side, pulled her left elbow up high and across towards her right shoulder.

‘Move your hips too,’ said Josie.

Cathy gave a slight nod and swivelled her hips, allowing her elbow to move further to the right. Then with all her force, she swung it round towards Matt. She caught him straight in his chest.

‘Fuck!’ Matt grunted and dropped to his knees.

‘Oh my God!’ Cathy bent down to his level. ‘Are you okay? I thought I’d swing and miss you.’

Josie had a hand over her mouth. Suddenly she lost control, laughter bursting out raucously.

Matt clutched a hand to his chest, his breathing rapid. ‘Jesus, I wouldn’t like to cross you in a dark alleyway. I’m going to have a right bruise there.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Cathy tried to look concerned, but it was impossible as Josie was still laughing at the top of her voice. She felt a smile forming and gnawed at her bottom lip to try and stop it.

‘It’s a good job she didn’t catch you in the temple or the throat as we were shown next,’ Josie managed to say between sniggers. Tears were pouring down her face. ‘She could have killed you.’

‘I didn’t realise he was that close,’ Cathy hissed, embarrassment creeping in.

Matt raised a hand. ‘It was my fault,’ he explained. ‘I saw a piece of cotton on the back of your jumper. I doubt it will still be there with that force,’ he added as Cathy checked her sleeve.

‘Sorry, Matt,’ Josie said, wiping at her eyes. ‘I haven’t laughed so much in ages. It was the look on your face.’ She started to giggle again.

Matt stood up slowly. Still holding on to his chest, he spoke to Cathy. ‘You owe me one for that. I reckon you need to suck up to me big time.’

Josie burst into laughter again. Cathy blushed. Matt looked bewildered. But then his eyes began to twinkle and his mouth twitched.

‘Ah, yes, sexual favours will do nicely. Your place or mine?’

Cathy lowered her eyes from his intense stare. God, how could she get out of this one! Quick, think.

‘Coffee!’ She pointed to the door. ‘I’ll just go and make a fresh batch.’

Later that evening, Jess had gone into Becky’s room. She was trying to get Becky to come out with her but so far she’d had no luck.

‘Come on,’ she coaxed. ‘It’ll do you good to get bladdered and forget everything for a while.’

‘I got bladdered two nights ago and that didn’t help.’

Jess giggled. ‘The Pete Freeman night. Crap lay, isn’t he?’

‘Oh, have you –?’

‘Yeah. Not much to talk about there. Anyway, forget about Pete. We might bump into Austin Forrester. I know how much you fancy him. Now that you’re not, well, you know, you can enjoy yourself more, can’t you?’

‘I don’t want to.’

‘I’ll blag some vodka.’

Becky stared at herself in the tiny mirror on her dressing table. She’d do anything to get rid of this empty feeling. It was as if her life had come to a halt, a crossroads even. She didn’t know what she was going to do next.

 ‘It might block out your pain, make you feel better.’

‘I doubt it.’

‘Please!’ Jess pulled out a small plastic bag from her pocket. ‘You can have some of this.’

Becky eyed it warily. ‘Is that what I think it is?’

‘Yep. It’s Whizz.’

‘What does it do again?’

‘It makes you feel happy, more lively, like everyone is your friend.’

‘But aren’t all drugs dangerous?’

‘I suppose so but this is tame, really. I try to keep away from the heavier stuff.’

Becky gasped. ‘You mean you’ve tried other things?’

Jess nodded. ‘I’ve done ecstasy loads of times and coke a few times. But Whizz doesn’t make me as angry as coke. You should try them all – see which one suits you the best.’ She dipped her finger into the bag and then held it out to Becky afterwards.

‘Go on,’ she urged. ‘You’ll love it. It will make the night more interesting.’

Becky gave in. Tentatively she dipped in her index finger and copied Jess, running it over her top gums. She stood there for a moment.

‘What?’ said Jess, moments later as Becky remained rooted to the spot.

‘I don’t feel any different.’

Jess sighed. ‘Give it a chance. You’ll feel it soon.’

‘If I come out with you, can I wear your red shoes?’

‘Red shoes, no knickers,’ said Jess, grinning.

‘What?’

‘It’s a saying or something.’

‘I thought that was fur coat, no knickers.’

‘Oh, yes. I think you’re right.’

Becky smiled.

‘So you’ll come out then?’

Half an hour later, they headed for Vincent Square and joined the throng of kids huddled around Shop&Save car park. Becky became louder and louder as the night wore on. She laughed, she danced and she drank whatever she could scrounge.

Danny, Austin and Parksy strolled up an hour later. Becky was singing an Adele song at the top of her voice. She stopped as they walked past, noticing Austin looking at her. She couldn’t work out if he was pleased to see her or sick of the sight of her so she turned her attention to Danny instead.

‘Hey, Dan,’ she smiled seductively. ‘Do you fancy a little bit of hanky panky?’

As Danny turned back with a grin, Jess nudged Becky sharply. ‘Oy! Behave yourself, slag.’

‘Piss off. I can have whoever I want. It’s not up to you.’

‘Back off, Becks, or –’

‘Ooh,’ said Danny, thrilled at the attention. ‘There’s a fight brewing, lads.’

‘Shut up,’ said Jess.

‘Chill out, woman. I’m stocking up on booze and then going for a drive. Want to come?’

‘Did you hear about Pete Freeman?’ Danny asked later when the five of them were driving around the estate in his car. Austin had taken the passenger seat again. Becky and Jess were squashed in the back with Parksy.

‘No, what happened?’

‘He got beat up. He’s in hospital. Broken nose, broken arm. His ankle had been stamped on so much that it needed plating.’

Jess and Becky looked at each other and started to giggle.

‘Did they catch who did it?’ Jess eventually asked after they remembered that the matter didn’t warrant their laughter.

‘He never saw who it was. He said he came out of the pub and was ambushed.’

‘Ambushed.’ Jess and Becky giggled again.

Austin looked back with a smirk. ‘You two pissed already? Or are you on something else?’

‘Us?’ Jess feigned disgust. ‘Becky and I would never partake of such a thing!’

‘Yeah, right. And my dick is two inches long.’

‘Two inches!’ Jess shrieked. ‘I bleeding hope it’s longer than that.’ She nudged him. ‘Fancy showing me later?’

‘In your dreams, wild one.’

Jess pretended to swoon. She nudged Danny. ‘I prefer to dream about you, though.’

Becky bit down hard on her bottom lip. She had to remain calm, make sure she didn’t spit out her secret while she was loaded. She also prayed that Danny and Austin wouldn’t let it slip either. Luckily they didn’t. Danny pushed Jess’s hand away as she leaned forward.

‘How about you, Becks?’ Parksy joined in. He grinned lasciviously and pressed his hand to his crotch. ‘Who do you dream about?’

‘Not you, that’s for certain.’ She heard Austin snigger. Then he turned around and looked at her.

‘Do you dream about me, Becks?’

‘Would you like me to?’ she dared to say.

Austin ignored her question. ‘Do you?’

‘I might do.’

‘I wouldn’t blame you. I am worth dreaming about.’

Their eyes stayed locked together as if no one else was in the car, as if time had stood still and there were only the two of them.

‘Oy!’ Danny turned to Austin with a scowl. ‘Sloppy seconds your style, then?’

Austin turned towards him, very slowly. ‘Shut the fuck up, Bradley.’

Jess looked on in confusion. ‘What does he mean by sloppy seconds, Becks?’

The next evening, Cathy was finishing off her coffee, wondering whether to stay up or go to bed. It was past midnight and Becky was late home. Jess had come in at eleven, saying that she’d left Becky with some lad or other. She’d stormed off to bed in a huff after Cathy had tried to question her more.

She washed out her mug and left it to drain while she wondered what to do next. Would Becky simply wear herself out in a matter of weeks and then get back to normal? Or was this going to be the start of a life of drunken antics, followed by the harder stuff? She prayed she wouldn’t end up hooked like Cheryl.

Yet what could she do about it? Leave her to make her own mistakes or try and talk to her, calm her down, show her that she would burn out if she weren’t careful. It was a tough decision.

People thought her ‘job’ watching over these girls was easy but no one really understood the true heartache she faced. The decisions that she made – had she a right to make them? Really she should tell Becky that if she had one more week like the last one, she was out. But where would she go? Cathy wouldn’t give up on her after a couple of months, no matter what her rules said.

And why should Becky listen to her? Why should she do anything that Cathy asked of her? She couldn’t help everyone to alleviate her own guilt, to wipe out her own mistake. It didn’t work like that.

She heard a key in the front door. She stayed very still as Becky came in, making such a noise while telling herself to be quiet.

There was a bang and a groan. Becky must have bumped into the hall table – which meant that she was drunk again.

‘Where have you been until now?’ Cathy went out to her.

‘Frigging hell!’ Becky was bending down pulling off a shoe. Unbalanced, she staggered towards her. ‘You shouldn’t creep about like that.’

‘I’m not creeping around. I’m waiting up for you. You’re late.’ Cathy sniffed. ‘And you’re as drunk as a skunk again.’

‘So?’

‘So you’re not going to drink away your pain. It doesn’t work like that.’

Becky pulled off the other shoe and threw them both to the floor. ‘I’m not in pain,’ she slurred.

‘And where the hell did you find the money to get drunk? Is it from Danny Bradley?’

‘No.’ Becky laughed. ‘I don’t need money to pay for anything.’

‘What do you mean?’ Cathy paled. Surely she couldn’t be talking about sex?

‘Leave me alone.’ Becky pushed past her forcefully. ‘I can look after myself. I’m sixteen, not six.’

‘But you have to be careful after a miscarriage. You could easily become infected.’

‘I said leave me alone!’

‘Someone needs to care about you as you certainly don’t care about yourself. You don’t have to be a sheep and follow behind every low life on the estate.’

Becky frowned, trying to understand.

‘If you’re not careful, you’ll end up like most of the girls around here – used and abused. I don’t want that to happen to you.’

‘It’s a bit late for that,’ Becky snapped, tears in her eyes. ‘I’ve already been used and abused.’

‘I wasn’t referring –’

‘I want the pain to go away.’

Becky turned towards Cathy with such a sorrowful look that she almost felt her heart lurch towards her.

‘I hate my life,’ she continued. ‘The only thing I had to look forward to has been taken away. What am I supposed to do now?’

‘Let me help you.’