Somewhere To Be (2 page)

Jamie took a big, long draw on his beer, relishing the way it settled his stomach and gave him something to do with his hands and mouth. Nick was watching him with a little smile, and Jamie wasn’t sure if he liked the knowing look on his face.

“So, Jamie, you’ve met Nick?” Pat asked, squeezing into the booth next to Louise.

“Yeah, Pat, real subtle,” Jamie replied with an eye roll.

Pat laughed unrepentantly, inclining his head in admission.

They all settled into conversation, discussing absolutely nothing of importance, and Jamie was content to sit on the fringes and listen, interrupting when he felt moved to, but mostly just happy to be around people without having to scrabble to find things to talk about. He much preferred group outings—less pressure. Even with Nick’s knee bumping into his under the table every now and again. He was definitely a fidget.

By the time midnight rolled up, Jamie was pleasantly mellow and had discovered Naveen, Han’s boyfriend, was a fellow Arsenal fan, and they’d dissected the last season with fervor, much to the chagrin of Nick-the-rugby-fan, who sat between them looking bemused.

As he relaxed, Jamie finally let himself appreciate Nick as a good-looking guy, rather than a source of potential anxiety. Nick wasn’t particularly tall, but he was broad. You could tell he was into rugby just by looking at him. His hair was pushed back a little haphazardly, and his jaw was dusted with blondish-red stubble. His eyes were hazel, tending more toward green, and tilted up slightly at the corners. His mouth was full, though not off-puttingly so, and he smiled generously. He talked with his hands, gesturing or miming or tapping. It was curiously endearing.

They all finished their drinks and made their way out to the street, and predictably Patrizio was pulled off by Louise; no doubt they were headed back to her flat for crazy monkey sex or whatever it was they got up to. Jamie could see right through their oh-so-transparent plan to leave him and Nick alone, but at the same time he was thankful he wouldn’t have to listen to them all night.

Han and Nick were talking animatedly about a work colleague as Naveen smoked a cigarette, offering it over to Jamie.

“No, thanks. I quit.”

“Good on you,” Naveen replied. “I tried those vape things, but no luck. Felt like sucking on nothing, you know?”

Jamie nodded and stomped his feet in the cold air. His breath puffed out almost as much as the smoke from Naveen’s inhales on his cigarette.

“Fancy coming over for a game at ours next Sunday?” he asked, referring back to their previous conversation about football video games.

“That’d be awesome. Makes a change from beating the computer.” Jamie grinned.

“Yeah, yeah, big talk. We’ll see who wins. We’ll get in a takeaway or something and beer. Do it proper.”

“Yay,” deadpanned Han, snuggling in to Naveen’s side.

He kissed her head absentmindedly and ground out his cigarette.

“It’s effing freezing,” she huffed, shoving her hands deep into her pockets.

Naveen pulled her even closer. “I’ll text you, mate,” he said to Jamie. They both waved and headed off toward the closest taxi rank.

“Football. It’s like the go-to topic for blokes, you notice that?” Nick said, stuffing his hands in his pockets, much like Han had.

“Heh. Yeah, it is. Common ground, I suppose,” Jamie replied, wishing he had some common ground with Nick.

“Want to walk?” Nick asked. “If you aren’t too cold?”

Jamie considered running off to get the night bus but figured he’d just be heading back to an empty flat anyway. “Sure.” He shrugged.

They set off down the little lanes that led toward the sea, both moving instinctively toward the seafront, even though there would be no buildings to buffer the wind. It wasn’t too bad this evening, not gales yet.

They mostly kept to companionable silence, punctuated only by short snippets of conversation, but Jamie was hyperaware of Nick the whole time, of the confidence in his movements and the easy smiles he threw Jamie’s way every now and again. Each one was beautiful, and each one made Jamie more and more nervous. They’d made it most of the way down the promenade, inadvertently heading in the direction of Jamie’s flat, when Nick stopped and leaned on the railing that separated the pavement from the drop to the beach below.

Jamie stood beside him, looking out over the dark water and the silhouetted pier glinting in the moonlight. It was beautiful, even with the cold.

“You don’t do this much, huh?” Nick asked, tapping the railing with his fingertips in a staccato beat.

Jamie paused. Where Nick fidgeted and seemed to need motion, Jamie would freeze and need stillness. “No. I don’t. Not in a while.”

Nick nodded and turned, leaning back and propping his elbows on the metal. “How come?”

“I don’t know. Bad breakup a while back, and I haven’t really gotten back out there. I’m not sure I want to.”

“So how about you don’t get back out there with me for a little while?” Nick offered, smiling slightly and cocking his head a little. “You can be not out there but not alone, you know? For a little while?”

“What, like a nonexclusive kind of friends-with-benefits scenario? Because I doubt I could—”

Nick pushed himself to standing and stepped closer to Jamie, close enough that Jamie felt prickly goose bumps of awareness but not so close as to actually touch. His hand was a hairsbreadth away from Jamie’s own, but he didn’t force the contact. He left just enough for Jamie to make the decision. And he was seriously considering leaning in and pressing against all that warmth when his phone trilled and nearly had him jumping out of his skin.

“Shit,” he cursed. “Wéi,” he answered the call from his dad, and stepped back from Nick as if his dad could see. He made a few noises of assent, nodding even though nonverbal communication was rendered entirely moot by the phone, but habit dictated his movements. “Uh-huh, of course I remember. Yes. Two thirty, yep. Okay. Bye, Ba.” He hung up and shrugged at Nick. “My dad. I need to pick up my grandma from the airport tomorrow.” Jamie shrugged again and slipped his phone into his pocket.

“What does ‘why’ mean?” Nick asked, imitating the inflection Jamie had used.

“
Wéi
? It’s like hi. For talking on the phone.”

“So you’re on airport taxi duty tomorrow?”

“Yeah. With Christmas so soon, relatives are coming to visit. Grandma and Auntie Mimi tomorrow and a bunch of the Goh family will be around, and Mum’s lot too. We have a family gathering every Christmas. It’s going to be so busy.”

“Sounds nice,” Nick said with a wistful little smile.

“Not from a big family?”

“No. Not from any kind of family, really.” He shrugged. “I mean, I have a mum and dad of course, but I was raised by my gran. My dad wasn’t around when I was born, and Mum pissed off soon after. Once Gran passed I didn’t bother staying in touch.”

Jamie couldn’t imagine that. His family was meddlesome and nosey and loud, but he loved them all to bits. He wondered what Nick would be doing for Christmas. “Are you from here?” he asked.

“Nah. South London originally, but I moved to the coast after Gran. Didn’t fancy being stuck in some council estate up there. Figured at least here I get the sea. And I lucked out. I’m not doing too badly for myself. How about you? Are you from here? I mean….” He trailed off and waved his hand, gesturing at Jamie.

Jamie smiled and huffed out a little laugh. “Yep. Born and bred. Disappointing, eh? Dad moved here when he was younger and fell in love with my mum. They married, and four kids later they’re still going strong.”

“Where’s he from?”

“Actually, he’s from Malaysia. But Chinese Malay.”

“And your mum?”

“Devon.”

Nick smiled at that and looked Jamie over intently, taking in his dark eyes and shorn hair, his sculpted bone structure and small mouth, the marriage of East and West in his features. His smile took on a little edge, and his eyes glittered under the streetlights. Jamie’s stomach tensed, not unpleasantly, and he couldn’t decide whether to look at Nick’s mouth or eyes. He felt zingy, and for the first time in a long time, he wanted more than anything to be kissed. He’d forgotten how great the anticipation of a first kiss could be.

As if he could read Jamie’s mind—or maybe Jamie was just
that
obvious—Nick stepped closer, reaching out and drawing Jamie toward him by the hand. Jamie brought up his other hand and put it on Nick’s chest, reveling in the obvious strength there, even behind layers of winter wear. After a moment of hesitation, Nick cupped his hand behind Jamie’s neck, sliding it up to partway cradle the back of his head, and leaned in to brush his lips lightly over Jamie’s.

It was a feather-soft first touch, exploratory but confident, and something in Jamie snapped. He pushed closer and pressed their mouths together, languishing in the feel of a warm mouth on his, of hot breath and lips in direct contrast to the cold air around them.

And then Nick urged Jamie’s mouth open with encouraging nuzzles and nudges of his lips, eventually rolling his tongue against Jamie’s, and Jamie promptly forgot about everything but getting more.

It wasn’t a violent clash of a kiss, and there was certainly no devouring, but it was deep and full, and one moment his tongue was pressing against Nick’s and the next he had teeth lightly tugging on his bottom lip, sparking his nerve endings and dragging a moan from him.

For long moments they stood, pressed together and sharing breath and heat, tasting each other and learning how their lips and tongues felt moving together, until Nick slowed and softened the kiss, little brushes against Jamie’s mouth once more. They were both near panting, and Nick rested his forehead against Jamie’s for a beat.

“I’d apologize for being so forward,” he began, his thumb stroking the soft skin behind Jamie’s ear, “but I’d be fucking lying. I’m not sorry at all.” His lips curved into a slow smirk, and Jamie had to laugh.

“For what it’s worth, me neither. I think I needed that.”

Nick nodded, looking pleased with himself and making a little “Mm-hmm” sound. He looked his fill until Jamie wanted to hide his face, but then again, Jamie was looking too.

“What you said earlier. The whole ‘not getting out there with you’ thing?” Jamie said slowly.

“You mean my jumbled-up way of saying let’s see where this goes with no pressure?”

Jamie was a little surprised at that, and it must have shown on his face because Nick grinned that shit-eating grin again.

“So not just friends with….” He paused, swallowing.

“Not necessarily. Like I said, no pressure. Friends, friends with benefits… dating… or whatever. We just hang out and see.”

Jamie smiled a little wry smile. “Well, I think that kiss ruled out friends. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never kissed a guy like that without having serious sex fantasies after. That was definite jack-off material.”

Nick laughed and looked chuffed with Jamie’s revelation. He nodded and leaned in to kiss Jamie again, pausing just at the point of contact. “Definitely,” he murmured in a low voice, breath skating over Jamie’s lips.

The combination made him shiver, and that was
before
the soft heat and pressure of the following kiss. He thought he could definitely get used to this.

J
AMIE
WAS
near shaking with nerves as he led Nick up the narrow stairwell to his small flat. With Pat being out, at least Jamie didn’t have to worry about being overheard, but then he felt immediately presumptuous for thinking there’d be anything
to
overhear.

Then again, why else was he leading Nick toward his front room sofa at ridiculous o’clock on Christmas Eve morning?

Nick pulled him to a stop just beyond the threshold of the flat and stepped up close, his front flush to Jamie’s back. He unwound the scarf from Jamie’s neck, pausing to nuzzle the skin on his nape with soft kisses before his hands made their way down, slowly unzipping Jamie’s jacket. He peeled it off him, dropped it to the floor and stepped back, turning Jamie on the spot.

“You okay with this?” he asked, brushing a thumb over Jaime’s jaw. Jamie was buzzing with anticipation and anxiety, a somewhat unpleasant cocktail churning in his gut. If he stopped to think, he would run away from this, and that would be such a mistake. Swallowing past the fear, he nodded.

Nick looked at him intently for a moment but decided to accept whatever it was he saw. He pulled Jamie closer by his hips and slid strong hands up either side of his spine, causing Jamie to undulate against him. Scrabbling to pull off Nick’s scarf, Jamie leaned back but kept his hips firm against Nick’s, laughing with him as he fumbled with the material knotted around Nick’s neck. Nick offered no help, though, just kept his hands on Jamie’s sides, thumbs stroking softly through the material of his T-shirt.

Finally Jamie wrestled the scarf off and buried his face in the exposed area between jaw and coat. He inhaled Nick’s scent and kissed his skin softly at first, then with increasing abandon, tasting and sucking. Nick’s moans vibrated his throat against Jamie’s lips and spurred him on, encouraging him to peel off layers of clothing to get at more skin.

They were fused to each other as they made their way slowly to the sofa, Nick’s shirt half unbuttoned and Jamie’s shirt crumpled up around his waist. Nick guided him down onto his back on the cushions, kissing his way up Jamie’s stomach and pushing his shirt up and finally off as he explored his torso, pausing to suck each nipple and laughing a low, raspy sound as Jamie arched off the sofa. He shucked his own shirt, revealing a broad pale chest, lightly furred with more of that strawberry blond hair, in contrast to Jamie’s golden skin and dark hair.

Jamie
needed
to touch and stroked his fingertips down Nick’s torso, watching his nipples tighten and his stomach clench. Nick wasn’t ripped, but he was well built and strong, and his muscles twitched as Jamie touched and played. It was beautiful to watch.

Jamie had forgotten how good it felt to have warm skin against his own and firm hands kneading and groping him. He tipped his head back wantonly, shuddering as Nick covered his body with his own, mouthing at Jamie’s neck and collarbones and insinuating himself between Jamie’s legs.