Somewhere Out There (30 page)

“Hey, bug,” Kyle said from the living room, and a moment later he came through the doorway, his daughter hitched on his left side with Henry trailing behind. Kyle had dark brown hair and wore a black suit with a white-and-blue pin-striped shirt and matching solid blue tie. “Sorry I’m late,” he said. He set Hailey down and took a couple of steps toward her, holding out his right hand. “I’m Kyle. And you must be Brooke.”

“That’s me,” she said, giving Natalie’s husband what she hoped was a warm smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Look at her eyes, Daddy!” Hailey said. “They’re just like mine!”

Brooke’s cheeks warmed as Kyle looked at her again. She held her body as steady as she could, maintaining a small, pleasant smile. If she’d had any doubt at all that Natalie was her baby sister, it had evaporated the moment she saw Hailey’s violet-blue eyes. She hoped the similarity would have the same effect on Natalie’s husband.

“You’re right, they are,” Kyle said. “Excuse me, for just a minute.” He walked into the kitchen, where Brooke saw him take off his jacket, then slide up behind Natalie, who didn’t turn to look at him.
She’s pissed that he’s late,
Brooke surmised. She looked away, then felt Hailey grab her hand.

“Come sit by me, Aunt Brooke,” Hailey said, leading her toward the opposite side of the table. She climbed into a chair and patted the one next to her. Brooke smiled at Hailey, her heart warmed by being called an aunt, then sat down and put her glass to the top right of her plate. A moment later, Natalie and Kyle joined them, with Kyle carrying a large platter, which he set in the middle of the table.

“Can you get the kids something to drink, please?” Natalie asked her husband. Her voice was a little stiff, but Brooke didn’t know her well enough yet to interpret to what degree her sister was irritated with her husband.

“Sure,” he said, jogging back into the kitchen. Natalie took a seat at the head of the table with her back facing a pair of French doors. As soon as Kyle returned with two cups filled with milk, he lowered himself into the chair next to his son, setting their drinks next to their plates. He quickly poured some wine into his own glass. “All right, then,” he said. “Let’s eat.”

“I’d like to make a toast first,” Natalie said, looking at Brooke. “To the happy surprises in life. And to family.”

Brooke raised her glass, but Kyle took an extra second or two to lift his.
Does he not want me here?
Brooke wondered.

Henry held up a hard plastic Buzz Lightyear instead of his glass and pushed a red button on its chest. “To infinity . . . and beyond!” the toy said, and everybody laughed.

“No Buzz at the table, kiddo,” Kyle said, gently removing the toy from his son’s grasp. Henry crossed his arms over his chest and pouted while Natalie picked up the serving tongs from the platter filled with perfectly cooked, fanned-out slices of roast and handed them to Brooke.

“So, Brooke,” Kyle said, after she’d filled her plate and passed the platter over to Natalie. “Tell us a little about yourself.”

“There’s not much to tell,” she replied as lightly as she could. “I grew up here in Seattle and I’m a waitress at a bar in Pioneer Square. That’s about it. Nothing very exciting.”

“Are you married?” Kyle asked.

“No,” Brooke said. Didn’t Natalie tell him any of what she and Brooke had already talked about?

“No children?” he said.

“No,” Brooke said again, feeling a twist of queasiness in her gut.
Oh, lord. Don’t let me get sick now
.

“Kyle,” Natalie said. Her voice was full of warning. She gave Brooke an apologetic smile. “Sometimes he forgets he’s not in court.” She looked back at her husband. “Right, honey?”

Kyle hesitated only a moment before launching a relaxed smile. “Guilty as charged,” he said. “I apologize. I’m happy you could join us tonight.”

“I’m happy, too,” Natalie said quietly, and Brooke nodded, despite harboring the distinct feeling that she wasn’t quite ready to say the same thing.

“Would anyone like coffee to go with dessert?” Natalie asked after they had all finished their dinner and moved into the living room. Brooke sat in the large recliner, while Kyle and the kids settled on the couch. Natalie stood in the archway that linked the kitchen to the front of the house, trying to figure out how the evening was going. On the one hand, Kyle had walked in almost two hours late—after promising to be there to help manage the kids and help her get dinner ready—and then practically interrogated her sister. On the other hand, after Natalie gently scolded Kyle for overwhelming Brooke with too many questions he already knew the answers to, he managed to keep the rest of the conversation polite and neutral, inquiring about the other places she’d worked and where she lived in the city, questions to which Brooke supplied very general answers.

“None for me, thanks,” Brooke said, glancing at the clock on the mantel, which read eight fifteen. “In fact, I should probably get going.”

“Oh no,” Natalie said. “You can’t miss dessert! It’s my thing.” Her eyes pleaded with Brooke. “Stay a bit longer?”

Hailey bounced on the couch and then climbed into Kyle’s lap. “Yeah! Mommy made a really yummy cake. It’s lemon. With guess what? Raspberry filling! And I helped!”

“Me, too!” Henry said, holding on to one of his father’s arms.

“Well,” Brooke said. “In that case, I’d better stay.” She crossed her legs and set her forearms over her abdomen. Natalie rushed into the kitchen and returned as quickly as she could with a tray covered in small dessert plates, which she set down on the coffee table. She’d found the table at an antiques store in the Junction, and while it was older and needed refinishing, Natalie loved its oval shape and elegant, curved legs. Once she got it home, she’d painted the table white, then used a wire brush to give its edges a slightly distressed, aged look. It was her favorite piece in the house.

“Here you go,” Natalie said, handing Brooke a dessert plate.

“Thank you,” Brooke said, stifling a yawn. “Sorry. I guess I’m more tired than I thought.”

“A side effect of your job, I’d imagine,” Kyle said. “You must work late.”

“I do,” Brooke said, carefully. She held on to her fork and the edge of her plate tightly.

“Have you ever worked outside the restaurant industry?” Kyle asked Brooke.

“No, actually,” Brooke said, with a sharp edge. “I like what I do.” As Natalie gave a plate to each of her children and then kept the last for herself, she was afraid her husband was pushing her older sister too far. Everything that came out of his mouth sounded like an accusation.

“That’s great,” Kyle said, overly enthusiastic.

Brooke took a small bite of her dessert, chewed it, and then set her plate on the small end table next to her chair.

“Is Mommy’s birth mom your mom, too?” Hailey asked, breaking the bit of silence in the room.

Oh, god,
Natalie thought, watching as Brooke folded her hands together in her lap. “Sweetie,” Natalie said to her daughter. “Let’s not talk about that right now.”

“Why not?” Hailey asked, running a finger over her plate to swipe up a streak of raspberry filling.

“It’s okay,” Brooke said, and then looked at Hailey. “Your mom’s birth mother is mine, too, but I didn’t grow up with her. I lived in a state home.”

“What’s that?” Henry asked. His mouth was full of cake, and Kyle attempted to keep him from accidentally spitting it onto the couch by cupping his palm under Henry’s chin.

“It’s a place where children who don’t have a family to take care of them can live,” Brooke said.

“Ohh,” Hailey said, looking back and forth between her mother and aunt, and Natalie gave Brooke the same apologetic look as she had earlier.

Brooke stood up. “The cake was so good,” she said to Hailey and Henry, even though she’d only taken one bite. “You and your mom did a great job.” Then she looked at Natalie and Kyle. “Thank you so much for having me, but I really am exhausted. I should head home.”

Natalie set down her untouched dessert. This was not how she’d hoped the evening would end. “Are you sure?” Brooke gave a tight-lipped nod. “Okay,” Natalie said. “Let me walk you out.”

“Time for bed, you two,” Kyle said. “It’s way past your bedtime.”

“Noooo,” Hailey said, giving her legs a little kick, and Henry shook his head against his father’s bicep, smearing it with raspberry sauce.

“Come on, kiddos,” Kyle said, standing up and lifting a reluctant Henry from the couch. He looked over at Brooke and smiled. “I’m sure we’ll get a chance to see each other again, soon.”

Brooke nodded again, and Natalie accompanied her to the front door. She grabbed her older sister’s coat and then her own, insisting on walking with her to her car.

“I’m sorry if Kyle said anything to upset you,” Natalie said as they walked together in the cool evening air. They stood next to the driver’s side door, lit only by the warm glow of the porch light and the streetlamp on the corner. “He’s a little protective, and it just came out wrong.”

“It’s okay,” Brooke said, but her voice broke on the words and she looked away, down the dark street.

Natalie reached out a hesitant hand and placed it on Brooke’s forearm. “Oh, no. I’m going to kill him for making you feel like this.”

Brooke sniffed and shook her head. “It’s not him, really,” she said, looking at Natalie with tears glossing her violet eyes. “It’s me. I just . . . it’s just . . . I’m not sure I fit in here.”

“Of course you do,” Natalie said. “This is new to all of us. It’s going to take some time to adjust, but I promise, I want you to be here. I want to get to know you better.” She swallowed hard, fighting back her own tears. “I always wanted a sister. And now I have one.”

Brooke’s shoulders shook, and she pressed a hand to her mouth. Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I’ve never had a family,” she said after she’d dropped her arm back to her side. “I don’t know how to do any of this. I don’t know how I’m going to do anything.”

Natalie tilted her head and stitched together her brows. There was a distinct, desperate edge to her sister’s words. “How you’re going to do what?” she asked. “Be my sister? We just . . . spend time together. We just get to know each other.”

“No,” Brooke said. “You don’t understand. Seeing you tonight . . . seeing Hailey and Henry and Kyle, just reminded me how little I know . . . how I’m not . . . I can’t . . .” She closed her eyes and began to sob quietly, and Natalie couldn’t help herself, she pulled Brooke into her arms. She rubbed a circle on her sister’s back, the same way she did for her children when they were upset.

“Hey,” Natalie murmured, unsure exactly what it was about the night that had taken Brooke to this fragile point. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

“No,” Brooke said again, breathing into Natalie’s shoulder. “It’s not. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I might have made the worst decision of my life.”

Natalie pulled back but kept her hands on Brooke’s arms. “What decision? Coming here? Seeing me? Or is it something else?” She saw the fear in her sister’s eyes, the tight muscles along her jaw. Whatever her sister was dealing with, it was big, and she was terrified. “It’s okay,” Natalie said. “You can tell me. I promise, I won’t judge. I just want to help. Please. Let me help.”

She watched Brooke glance off to the side and then down to the ground, as though she were uncertain what to do next. She seemed so small, so exposed, with her guard let down. She reminded Natalie of Hailey when her daughter’s feelings were hurt, needing comfort. Needing reassurance. Needing to know she wasn’t alone.

“I’m pregnant,” Brooke finally whispered. “Ryan . . . my ex . . . is getting a divorce, but he’s still married. He wants me to get rid of it and I basically told him to screw off.”

Natalie was quiet a moment, letting this news sink in, Brooke’s fatigue, refusal of wine, and her likely hormone-spurred tears suddenly making perfect sense. When Natalie was pregnant, she could cry over a burnt piece of toast. “What do
you
want?” she asked Brooke, who looked at her with wide, glassy eyes.

“I want to keep it,” Brooke said after a moment. “I want to try and be the kind of mother I never had.”

Natalie smiled, sensing this wasn’t a decision her sister had come to lightly. “I’m so happy for you,” she said. “Please, will you come back inside? We can talk. Just you and me.”

When Brooke finally nodded, Natalie hugged her again. And this time, she wasn’t so quick to let her go.

•  •  •

Brooke waited on the front porch while Natalie went back inside to talk with Kyle, who had already put the kids to bed. “She’s still here,” Natalie told him. “Can you give us some privacy? She needs to talk.”

“What about?”

“She’s pregnant,” Natalie said, keeping her voice low. “She literally just told me. She’s out there crying and scared and feeling like she doesn’t fit in with us. Something you didn’t help by treating her like she was in a deposition.”

“I didn’t mean—”

“Well, you did. And being late was great. Thanks for that.” Natalie knew she was being harsh, but she didn’t care. “Can we talk about this later, please? She’s standing on the porch.”

“Fine,” Kyle said. And he turned and left the room.

Natalie rushed back to the front door and opened it. “Come in,” she said, motioning for Brooke to reenter the house. Her sister’s face was splotchy and red, streaked with mascara. She kept one hand placed over her stomach, as though protecting her baby; Natalie recognized the gesture from when she had been pregnant with her kids. Natalie hung up Brooke’s coat again, and they returned to the living room, but this time, the two sat on the couch facing each other, just a few feet apart.

Brooke glanced around. “We’re alone?”

“Yep. Kyle put the kids to bed, and he’s gone upstairs, too.”

“You sure he doesn’t mind?”

“Of course not,” Natalie said, hating that her husband had made Brooke feel that he might not be okay with her back in the house. Natalie shifted her position on the cushions until she was comfortable. “Okay. So, start from the beginning. Tell me everything.”

She gave Brooke an encouraging nod, and then listened as her sister, in slow, halting sentences at first, described meeting Ryan and the months they’d spent together with Brooke staying in the shadows because of his impending divorce, and how that was fine with her because she never let the men in her life get too close to her anyway. As she became more comfortable telling the story, her voice relaxed, and she told Natalie how she’d discovered she was pregnant, her at-home tests and subsequent trip to the clinic, how she’d felt when she heard the baby’s heartbeat. Finally, she detailed Ryan’s reaction when she told him she planned to keep the baby.