Sometime Yesterday (14 page)

Her image in the mirror seemed to shimmer and shift then Natalie was looking at her sixteen-year-old self. Red, angry acne appeared on cheeks that puffed up to resemble the chubby girl she’d been. She felt a sharp pain against her lips and instantly recalled the sensation of metal braces on her teeth.
No!
She wasn’t that girl anymore and refused to let a snotty stranger push those buttons and make Natalie see this girl she was in the past.

Her reflection slowly returned to the present, which left her with the thought that Van might break her heart. Natalie had no idea where to put the hateful remarks she’d heard. Like a virus, the ugly words wanted to spread and create new insecurities. She had a hard time reconciling the way Van looked at her and made her feel with the different picture that spiteful woman created that afternoon.

God, was that only hours ago? It felt like days. Natalie went to her bed. Well, the seed may have been planted, but she didn’t have to water it. She was future tripping about a long-term relationship and she hadn’t even slept with Van yet.

Natalie was exhausted when she lay her head on the pillow. The emotional roller coaster she’d been on since she arrived was racing like a slideshow behind her eyes. The divorce and the move. The ghosts and dreams. The personal revelations and lifestyle change.

Van’s face came to mind. She recalled the whispered promise and felt a spear of lust between her thighs. Good Lord, Natalie thought. How could I have ever accepted that I was frigid and broken? She let herself float to sleep with images of Van undressing her and making good on her threat to make her scream.

*

Natalie looked into the darkness and saw an oil lamp burning at the end of the hall. Her stomach filled with dread.

“Beth!” a loud voice boomed out. “You little bitch. You can’t hide from me forever. It will go much worse for you if you don’t come out right now.
Beth
!”

Shit.
Natalie crouched beside a wooden chest outside one of the bedrooms. There was nowhere else in sight to hide. She dared a quick glimpse and saw a large shadow looming on the stairway. Natalie frantically tried to figure out where she should go. Where the hell
could
you go when you were stuck in someone
else’s
memory?

Natalie jerked when she heard glass breaking downstairs. She crawled on her hands and knees to the banister and peeked over the landing. A large hand descended on the back of her neck, snatching her like a small, helpless kitten.

“There you are! I told you not to hide from me. Obviously, you need me to teach you another lesson.” He shook her. “When will you learn?”

Natalie looked into his face and immediately wished she hadn’t. His eyes were flat black, the eyes of a predator. She could discern no emotion other than his volatile, insane anger. Each time he shook her, his dark hair hung forward in oily strands, and spittle flew out of his mouth. It was the face of a psychopath. She began to tremble violently when the sound of his evil laughter seemed to vibrate the walls and windows rattled in their frames.

The sound of feet running up the stairs registered in her terrified brain.

“Let her go, Richard!” Sarah screamed, holding her hands in fists at her sides.

“This is between me and my wife, Sarah. I told you, you have no business here.” He throttled Natalie hard enough to rattle her teeth. “Go on, go away or I’m going to think you’re jealous.”

Natalie was frantic. It was so cold she could see her breath expelling in a cold steam.

“On second thought, little sister, it’s been such a long time, come here.” Richard leaned over and grabbed Sarah by her hair and dragged her and Natalie to the master bedroom. “You can watch.” He giggled in a high-pitched voice.

Sarah screamed. She kicked and fought him as she struggled. Richard let go of her hair and shoved her hard, where she fell to the floor in front of the bed. He tossed Natalie onto the bed, and then backhanded Sarah when she tried to rise. Her head whipped around and hit the bedpost and she fell back again.

The windows were open and Natalie caught the familiar lavender scent in the breeze that blew in from outside. She scrambled to the top of the bed, willing herself to wake up. Richard’s malevolent laughter echoed in her ears, leaving her terrified and paralyzed when she reached the headboard, panting like a cornered animal. She whimpered, horrified when he reached her. Richard wrapped one hand around her neck and smiled wickedly while he ripped at her nightgown with the other. Natalie gurgled as his grip tightened, cutting off her air completely. Please no, she thought. Not this. Her legs drummed on the bed and her vision dimmed.

From a faraway distance, Natalie heard an alarm going off then the noise abruptly stopped.

“Natalie? Honey, wake up.” A gentle hand shook her shoulder.

Natalie gasped for a single breath and then took another.

“You’re soaking wet,” her mother said. “Are you okay?”

Natalie couldn’t answer. She put her hand to her throat, still feeling the echo of Richard’s vise grip. Her mother ran to the bathroom and came back with water. Natalie held the cold glass to her cheek. Her throat felt raw and her thighs burned. She decided not to tell her mother about the nightmare since she had to leave. She didn’t want to worry her. She could have had the nightmare simply because they had learned so much about what happened here in the past. Her mind latched on to the explanation and refused to consider the alternative.

“I’m fine, Mom.”

“You don’t look fine.”

“Just those scary stories last night, that’s all.”

Her mother looked doubtful. “Do you want me to stay?”

Natalie managed to smile weakly. “I’m good. Besides, Daddy needs you.”

“Do you want to leave and come with me?”

Natalie considered it for a second. Nope, not running from anything. She shook her head. “I’m fine.” She got out of the bed and winced inwardly. “I’ll walk you out.”

“Everything will be fine, Nat. I’ll bring your father for a visit when he’s walking better, okay?”

Natalie smiled at her. “That sounds wonderful.”

They stood at the door and made their tearful good-byes. Natalie was going to miss her, having her mother around had made her feel safer. Natalie had no problem admitting to herself that she could see things others couldn’t or wouldn’t. She never thought too much about it until recently, but her gift had allowed her to become a pretty good judge of character in her teens. But over the last decade she must have repressed it. Otherwise, she would have had to take a closer look at her sham of a marriage and the denial she ruled her life with. It was a little disconcerting to have the ability come back to her as an adult.

Natalie went to the kitchen to brew some coffee. While she was waiting for it to brew, she made a to-do list. A strong feeling of
déjà vu
came over her. Had it only been just over a week since she sat here for the first time? She looked around her cheery kitchen and contemplated starting a fire in the hearth. Natalie wanted to keep busy so she wouldn’t think about the brutal nightmare. The only thing she knew would keep out intruding thoughts was painting. She filled her cup and headed to the studio.

After she turned on every light and set up her easel, Natalie gathered her supplies. The silence was almost deafening and she felt a tiny chill when she realized the area was set up exactly as Beth had in her dream. The flashback brought memories of naked skin and incredible sensuality. Natalie was struck with inspiration, picked up her pencil, and began to sketch. Her focus narrowed to the paper in front of her and she let instinct guide her hand while the outside world ceased to exist.

Van escorted Natalie into the restaurant where she gave her name at the front desk. The patrons sat at intimate candlelit tables. This was definitely not the typical boardwalk crowd or the casual atmosphere of their first date. Van picked up the wine list. “Do you have a preference?”

Natalie smirked. “It depends on what we’re eating.”

Van felt heat from across the table. The double entendre washed over her. “Are we still talking about wine choices here?”

“Of course I’m talking about the wine. What else?”

Van saw the pink flush across Natalie’s cheekbones and loved the shy, flirtatious behavior. She was completely different than her usually brazen companions. Van was just about to give her a list of
what else
when she was interrupted by a tall, blond, and apparently, very agitated woman. “Who the hell do you think you are, Easton? How come you never called?”

Shit.
Van hesitated and quickly searched her memory while the woman crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot. Then she remembered. “Lynn?”

“Yes, Lynn,” she spit out. When she opened her mouth again, Van abruptly excused herself from the table and, gripping her elbow, pulled Lynn out of the dining room to the hostess area.

Natalie felt drenched in ice water when she saw the triumphant look Lynn shot her over her shoulder. What was it with these tall and leggy fucking blondes, anyway? One stole her husband, okay, she admitted there was no great loss there, but this one stole her date right out from under her. Actually dismissed her as if she were nothing and no threat. Just like that woman had yesterday in the boutique. She had been willing to give Van the benefit of the doubt regarding her reputation until she showed her different. Two separate blondes in two days were a little much. Natalie stood and reached for her purse.

“Please don’t go,” Van said. “I’m sorry for that. I can explain.”

Natalie stared at her standing there with her hands in her pockets. Every reasonable voice in her head was telling her to run. But it was her heart that saw Van and the utterly vulnerable expression on her face. It was Natalie’s compassion that had her slowly lowering back into her chair. “What are we really doing here, Van?”

“Well, I’m hoping we are going to drink some good wine and have a nice dinner.”

“You know what I mean.” Natalie realized that while she had been an open book, the same wasn’t true for Van. “I don’t know much about you at all. Why is that?”

The waiter chose that moment to stop by. After he left, Van started to talk. “When I was twelve, my mother died. One minute she was fine and the next, she was gone.” She snapped her fingers. “Just like that. Aneurism.”

Natalie covered Van’s hand with her own. “I’m so sorry. That must have been hard.”

“It was. Dad did the best that he could. It couldn’t have been easy for him, losing his wife, running a business, raising a daughter on the razor edge of puberty. It helped having so many aunts willing to step in. I was in high school when I discovered I was much more interested in what the cheerleaders were doing than the guys on the football field. I loved everything about girls. The way this one walked and that one smelled. How they laughed and that one was soft and this one was…” She trailed off.

“I get the point,” Natalie interjected. “Go on.”

“In college, I was a bit of a dog.” Van grinned ruefully. “Then I met Cara.” Van’s voice broke a little. “And all the other women became invisible to me because she was everything, you know?”

Natalie didn’t, but she wanted to. Oh, how she wanted to. What would it be like to be the recipient of all that emotion? To know that you put that look on someone’s face of utter devotion? “Is Cara’s picture the one at your father’s house?”

Van nodded. “We were together for nearly eleven years before the cancer came and she died.”

Natalie felt her eyes fill with sympathy when she heard the pain behind the explanation.

“The last six years have been a little blurry. I drank; I drank a lot. I didn’t always know the names of the women I woke up next to, nor did I care to. I was empty.”

That, Natalie could understand. She wanted to comfort Van and perhaps take the obvious hurt away, because it was in her nature to do so. But still, there was that small voice in her head that told her to wait until she could trust Van. The waiter took away their half-empty plates, and Natalie excused herself to the bathroom where she had an argument with herself. On one hand, she wanted Van so much it made her dizzy. On the other, and this was the biggie, she didn’t want to be hurt again. She knew she would never be able to have a friends-with-benefits-type relationship; she wasn’t built that way emotionally. If only she’d slept with her that first night, because now, she wanted more, much more.

She was torn. Natalie knew she already had feelings for her. But was that because of Van or because of her own new beliefs?

Would it be realistic that any woman she was attracted to would make her feel this way? No, she continued to argue. Otherwise, she would have known she was a lesbian, right?

Enough.
It was all too much. Natalie patted cold water on her face. And until she answered these questions and sorted it out, she wouldn’t be going home with Van. Natalie wanted her first time to be special. She would essentially be offering up her emotional virginity, and she wasn’t going to give it to someone she didn’t trust with her heart. She snapped her compact shut.

Van watched Natalie come out of the bathroom in her sexy blue dress and noticed the distant look on her face. For the first time, she was almost ashamed of the way she’d lived for the last six years. She wanted to reassure her that she
was
different, but she knew the words would only sound empty. Had she really just bared her soul? Van never talked about Cara. Ever. She’d held herself aloof for so long she was unsure of how to act with someone she cared about.