Something More (12 page)

“Sorry if I embarrassed you in the lobby.”

Jay laughed quietly. “You didn’t embarrass me, but I think that woman can’t wait to go home and tell her poor husband all about the freak show she saw today.”

I shrugged. “Well, maybe she’ll tell him and confess her deepest, darkest secret… That she’s obviously completely jealous of the girl she saw with two hot boyfriends.”

Neither of us could hold in the giggle at that, and Noah quickly shushed us, which only made us church-giggle harder. When we finally caught our breath and calmed down, Jay’s hand slipped into mine and I set them both on his thigh. My heart beat faster when I noticed he was tracing light circles on the top of my ring finger.
 

When the lights came back on, Noah chastised us, but it was only halfhearted. Even he realized how awful the movie had been. The drive back to their house was quick and comfortable. The quiet chatter of the news in the background was only broken by negotiations over fast food drive-thrus and then what to order.

After we were inside and changed into our pajamas, I wanted to start another fire and snuggle as we lounged. Neither of them objected, and Jay started the fire while Noah went to grab a bottle of wine. When we reconvened in the living room, I tucked myself in between them. The TV was flipped on, our dinner consumed, and the wine poured.
 

Saturday Night Live made us giggle, and while the musical guest was on—someone we all disliked, so the TV was muted—I asked about the Christmas party.

“Hey, Jonathan, did you really want to all go to the party together?”

“What party?” he asked.

“The Christmas party, dork.”

“Oh,” he said. “Yeah. Of course.”

“Don’t you think people will talk?”

Jay practically guffawed. “You mean,” he mock-gasped, “they don’t talk about me now?”
 

I slapped his arm playfully. “You know what I mean. It might make things harder for you at work.”

He shrugged. “I’m only there eight hours of the day. Besides, if someone wants to stir up shit, I have an in at another firm. Gabe’s been trying to get me to work for him for years.”

I liked that it was simple and easy with them. There was no question about us going forward. There was no question about hiding or not hiding. The three of us were incapable of being around each other and not showing affection or giving each other a hard time and bantering. We worked, and to ask us to shut that off when we left their house was not an option.

Sunday was gloriously lazy. We went out to brunch then hit Target where the boys bought my pajamas, as promised, and I grabbed some toiletries to keep at their house. When we were back at home, we lounged and I helped them do their laundry—we soaked in as much of each other as we could then snuggled together on the floor again. I hadn’t watched so much TV since I was a kid, I was certain, but there was nowhere else I wanted to be.

Except maybe in their bed.

I sent myself an email reminder from my phone to call my gynecologist on Monday, which reminded me of another topic I’d been meaning to bring up.

“Huh. You know, I should have asked this, oh, three weeks ago. When was the last time you guys had any kind of, um, testing done?”

“Like what kinda testing?” Noah asked, half distracted by the cooking show on.

“You know, like for STDs,” I practically whispered.

“We used to go every year in the beginning,” Jay said, looking at Noah. “We haven’t in a while. Do you want us to?”

I knew he wasn’t hurt by my question, but the conversation was decidedly uncomfortable.
 

“What if we all go?” I suggested.

“We can do that,” Jay said, squeezing my hand.

“I’ll make my appointment tomorrow. Do you guys want to go with me?”

“Uh. Do you
want
us to go?” Noah asked.

Did I? I’d never had a boyfriend go with me before.
 

“Naw,” I said. “I don’t want to go with you guys. You don’t need to go with me.”

After the conversation was over, I felt better. Lighter. I walked to the bedroom and packed up my bag once the show ended then let out a gust of air, frustrated at our impending separation again. It was only three days, I reminded myself. It would be fine.
 

Jonathan came in and found me sprawled on their bed. “What are you doing?” he asked, eyebrow lifted.

“I’m sniffing as much as I can before I go.”

“Pervert,” he said, flopping onto the bed with me.

After a few minutes, I really had to pee. I also really had to get back to my apartment. There was too much shit to get done, and I was falling way behind, spending so many hours with them during the week and weekends. I hadn’t even had a decent pedi in weeks, I realized once I made my way into the bathroom and looked at my toes. I sent myself another email reminder to make an appointment for that and a waxing. Things were getting scary down there.

When I walked back to the bedroom, Noah and Jay were hugging, which was sweet and almost made me cry. At least they had each other, I thought, a little bitter and a little comforted.

I sighed and leaned my head against Noah’s back. “I have to get going, sweet boys. See you Wednesday?”

They unwrapped themselves from each other and opened their arms to include me.
 

“We better,” Jay said.

After a kiss between the three of us that was a mess of lips, I gave them each a hug and picked up my bag. They walked me to my car, Noah grabbing my bag from me and putting it in my trunk, and I watched them as I drove away. Before I even turned the corner from their street, I was crying quietly. Saying goodbye was getting harder and harder every time I left. The drive to my place was full of thoughts about what it might be like to live with them full time.
 

At my apartment, I got to work quickly, putting a load of laundry into my washer and unloading the dishwasher. When I opened my bag to unpack it, I noticed a slip of paper on top—a note from Jay.

I know how much you miss us. We miss you too, which is why I liberated a pair of your panties. I left a T-shirt and boxers in their place. Xoxo, J

It was so sweet and immediately made my heart squeeze, both with happiness and sadness. I texted to thank him then changed into their clothes as I finished up around the house. When I collapsed into bed that night, it was with their clothes still on. I could smell them and almost feel them surrounding me. It was so much more comforting than I thought it would be, and I got the best night of sleep in my own bed that I had in a long time.
 

Monday, I made all the calls I needed to during lunch and while driving to and from work. I realized Thanksgiving was right around the corner when my assistant asked about my plans during the time off. Usually I had a microwave meal or spent it with a friend, but I wondered what the boys were doing, so I sent an email to Jay and asked. I didn’t want to intrude on their plans, I just wanted to know so I could see them as much as possible with the days we’d have off from work.

Then I realized Noah might not actually get a lot of time off from the bakery. I tried to remember what they’d done in years past; surely I’d asked Jay at some point? But as hard as I thought, I couldn’t come up with anything, so all I could do was wait for his reply.
 

By the time I was ready to go home, I still had no email, so I put my earpiece in and dialed him as I started my car.
 

“Well, hello there,” he said, answering on the first ring.
 

“Hi. How are you?”

“Exhausted. Just got home. Noah says hi, by the way,” he said, and I had to smirk at hearing him in the background. From what I could tell, he was saying way more than hi, but the rest was rather filthy.
 

I kind of liked it.

“God, you worked late,” I said. “I’m just leaving, but that’s nothing new.”

Jay mumbled in agreement. “Case going to trial.”

“That sucks. Sorry, sweets. Noah making it all better?”
 

I heard them in almost a frenzy together, and I could imagine what they looked like—Noah, just woken up and getting ready for work, and Jay still in his suit and tie.
 

“He’s trying…”

“Want me to let you go?”

“No,” he said quickly. “No. I want to talk about Thanksgiving while Noah’s here. What do you usually do?”

“Uh. Lean Cuisine and a bottle of wine?”

Noah began protesting in the background, insisting I had to go over and spend the day with them. When he realized it was a long weekend, he began to make all kinds of plans. I laughed, listening to them discuss it without any input from me. I’d do whatever they asked anyway.

“So, it’s settled,” Jay said, tuning back in to our conversation. “You’re coming over here. You can help me make the turkey and sides, and Noah will bring home rolls and pie from the bakery.”

“You don’t usually spend it with family?” I asked.

“Well, we trade off—we usually spend one holiday with my family and one with Noah’s. It’s their turn for Thanksgiving, but his sister is pregnant and miserable, so they can’t travel. They sort of begged off, so we decided we could, too. It’ll save some money, and then we’ll spend Christmas with my family. Do you usually spend Christmas somewhere?”

Jonathan and I had talked enough when we worked together that he knew my parents were gone and I had no siblings. As much as I tried to hide it, I usually became slightly sullen and withdrawn at work around the holidays; everyone at the old office knew not to ask me about it.
 

“Uh,” I stumbled over trying to find the right way to explain. “Sometimes I go over to Sean’s house.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. We’re…friends.” I left the “with benefits” part unspoken.

“Oh my God,” Jay gasped. “You were totally fucking Sean!”

Thankfully, I pulled into my parking spot just then and could avoid any kind of a real response. I hummed in agreement, unable and unwilling to disagree or lie.
 

“I had no idea,” he said, sounding a little pouty. “How come you never told me?”

“Because neither one of us wanted to get fired?”

I was grateful to finally be inside and behind my door, where I could shed my clothes and relax. I took off my suit jacket and coat and hung them up then flipped my shoes into the holder by the door. By the time I got to my bedroom, my hair was down, unclipped and swinging around my shoulders.
 

“I can’t believe you were screwing him, and for how long? I mean, if you spent Christmas together more than once…”

“Well,” I said, flopping onto my bed. “That’s the thing. It started as like a ‘Hey, what are you doing?’ sort of a thing. He didn’t have family; I didn’t have family. I didn’t want to feel like a loser. I’d just lost my mom, and my dad was so sick already. It was comfort, you know?”

“Yeah. Well, you can tell him to fuck off this year. No one’s giving you comfort but us.”

I bit my lip to contain the laugh that threatened to bubble out. It was sexy the way he was laying his claim.
 

“I guess this means I can check the exclusive conversation off my mental list,” I said.
 

“Uh. Yeah. I’ll just tell my parents to set one more place at the Christmas table.”

“I don’t know, Jay.” I was nervous. Really nervous.

“Well, you have some time to think about it, if you don’t want to go.”

I could tell he was hurt; it wasn’t that I didn’t want to meet his parents, I just couldn’t imagine how this was all going to go down.

Hi, Mom and Dad, remember when I told you I was marrying Noah? Well, add someone else to that…
 

Everything felt too complicated and confusing, and I let out a deep sigh. “I’ll let you know. It’s not at all that I don’t want to go, though.”

“Okay.”

The awkward quiet hung in the air between us.
 

“Hey, Jay?” I asked.

“Yeah?”

“I’m so glad I get to see you in two days.”

“Me too,” he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.
 

“I gotta go now, though. I need to rummage for dinner and then hit the hay. Morning will be brutal.”
 

“All right, gorgeous,” he said. “Sweet dreams.”

In the background, Noah gave his own dirty version of goodnight sentiments, and they both made me smirk. And feel lonely.

“G’night, boys.”
 

When I hung up, I decided I wanted to take a quick shower while my gourmet meal nuked. By the time I had the box in the microwave, the shower was warm, so I got in and cleaned up. I used my favorite shower gel, and it worked perfectly to relax me. After I got out and dried off, I ate in the kitchen, still wrapped in my towel. I was nicely drowsy by the time I was done, so I slid into bed and was asleep within minutes.
 

Thankfully, the first half of the week went by fairly fast. By the time Wednesday rolled around, I was still buried in work, but I managed to leave before the sun had set, which was saying something. Noah came out to greet me at the car, opening my door and once again pinning me against the metal as he kissed me hello. Go big or go home, indeed.

“Hi, sweet thing,” he said. “Jay’s still at work. I thought we could talk about Thanksgiving dinner then maybe watch Chopped.”

I nodded and laughed. “Sounds perfect.”

“Just spaghetti for dinner, sorry,” he said as we walked into the house. “Long day at the bakery.”

Noah yawned and leaned into me as we stood in the kitchen, and I wrapped my arm around him. “Poor baby. I’ll take good care of you, promise.”

He hummed then served up the food as we sat down across from each other. I missed having Jonathan with us, but less than I would have expected. In so many ways, it was nice to get the reassurance that we could function without him. Jay and I had spent so much time around each other at work and other things that I knew we were good, but Noah and I hadn’t really interacted much alone.