Something Like Lightning (3 page)

“No way,” Kelly said. “It’s expensive. Besides, that guy was a big enough asshole to actually call security. Let’s go before they show up and make me delete my photos.”

They arrived safely at the car without incident, which was almost disappointing. Then they grabbed some fast food from a drive-through and cruised around Austin as the sun set, not having a destination in mind and not caring. Being free was enough. No parents, no school. No rules except for traffic laws, and Kelly broke most of those at one point or another. As long as the car was in motion, they were free. Jared was DJ, choosing songs from the MP3 player connected to the car stereo. Occasionally, when some random thought occurred to him, he would turn it down and they would talk.

In other words, the perfect night. On Monday when he was back at school, other people would no doubt brag about a big weekend party or whatever. Kelly would simply say that he and Jared drove around, but that didn’t communicate just how amazing a time this was. Hanging out together felt good. Simple as that. From the frequent grins Jared flashed him, he felt the same way.

So maybe there was no chance of them getting physical, but surely this was the reason Jared was single. No girl could offer him companionship like Kelly could. Aside from sexual frustration, Jared probably didn’t feel he was missing much of anything. Kelly sure didn’t. Sex together would be awesome, but they already had everything else.

The contents of the gas tank dwindled to fumes as the night wore on. Neither of them had cash for a refill, so they drove back to Kelly’s house. Hopefully one of his parents would take the car out on an errand in the morning and fill it up again. Otherwise he’d be pushing it anywhere he wanted to go.

Once upstairs in Kelly’s room, they watched TV, the queen-sized bed doubling as a couch. After catching the second half of an instantly forgettable action movie, they shut it off. Jared flopped onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. Kelly sat cross-legged and watched him, resisting the urge to grab his camera. The sole illumination came from the off-white Christmas lights he’d hung in one corner. The shadows cast across Jared’s face made him appear much more introspective than usual, but when he spoke, his words didn’t suit the moody scene.

“I wish I was the fastest man alive.”

Kelly chuckled. “Why?”

“Because I need to win that race.”

“The triathlon?” Kelly shook his head. “Why are you so obsessed with it?”

Jared rolled over to face him. “Because winning a bunch of ribbons and medals isn’t enough.”

Kelly glanced over at his underwear drawer, where he’d carelessly stashed his own awards—all of them first place except for the events he’d allowed Jared to win. Both he and Jared were competitive, a trait that drew them together. Kelly worried it could also tear them apart. Lately Jared’s enthusiasm had begun to fade. The one time Kelly asked why, Jared simply shook his head. All that changed once the triathlon had been announced and Jared found his competitive fire once again. But only after making sure Kelly wouldn’t be entering.

“Do you resent me?” Kelly asked. “I know I win a lot of events, but I didn’t want—”

“It’s got nothing to do with that,” Jared said. “Yeah, I wish I was as fast as you, but even if I’d placed first in every event last year, it still wouldn’t have made a difference.”

Kelly’s brow came together. “Made a difference how?”

“To my dad. I thought he’d be impressed, but when I tossed those medals on the table, he just nodded and said ‘good job’. Then he started talking about Steven again.”

“Your brother.” Kelly nodded his understanding. Steven was two years older, currently at the University of Texas on a football scholarship and playing for the Longhorns as a wide receiver.

“I’m so sick of living in his shadow,” Jared said. “I’m not strong enough for football, and my hand-eye coordination sucks, but I can haul ass. I could leave my brother in the dust, not that it matters to my dad. It’s all Steven and his stupid pigskin. Especially now, with big-league scouts chasing after him.”

Kelly’s eyes went wide. “Seriously?”

Jared nodded. “Yup. Two more years and he’ll probably be in the fucking NFL. But before that happens, just once, I’d like to get my dad’s attention. Have you seen the trophy?”

Kelly had, because three weeks ago, Jared had dragged him to the front of the school to bear witness. There, in one of the glass cases, was the trophy. Coach Watson was campaigning to get the school behind an official triathlon club, even pushing the sport as a potential elective. Desperate to get as many students signed up for the race as possible, he’d chosen a trophy that was an ornate disaster. Three pillars rose up from a bronze plate, forming a pedestal, and on this sat some ungodly version of the Holy Grail—a golden cup complete with looping handles and three fake rubies.

“Exactly,” Jared said, misinterpreting Kelly’s look of abhorrence as one of awe. “Just imagine me slapping that thing down on the dinner table. It’ll blow Dad’s mind.”

Few trophies, if any, could compare with getting headhunted by an NFL scout, but Kelly didn’t have the heart to tell Jared that. “I’m sure your dad is proud of you already,” he said. “He’d be crazy not to be.”

“Maybe,” Jared said, rolling onto his back again. “He’ll be way more proud if I bring home that trophy.”

“And you will,” Kelly promised him. “On Monday, it’s back to training.”

They mapped out a rough plan of areas to strengthen. By the time they were too tired to discuss it anymore, Jared was smiling again. After taking turns in the bathroom, they stripped down to their underwear, just as they always did. Once under the sheets and the room was dark, they went to sleep. One of them did, anyway. Kelly remained awake, listening to the sound of Jared’s breathing. When enough time had passed—more than an hour according to the red digits on the nightstand—and when he felt certain that Jared was deep asleep, Kelly shifted in bed.

To an outsider, he hoped this sudden movement appeared careless and impulsive, maybe a reaction to a dream, resulting in his arm pressing along Jared’s side and one knee nestling against Jared’s leg. Kelly remained rigid, terrified as always that the body contact would wake his friend. When it didn’t, he allowed himself to exhale and relax, basking in how warm their skin became where it touched. Unable to resist any longer, he moved once more, resting an open hand on Jared’s back. This was all Kelly ever allowed himself, and frankly, it already seemed too much. But he liked it. Only in sleep could Jared be his unknowing lover, providing him with comfort impossible in the waking world.

When Kelly awoke the next morning, Jared’s side of the bed was empty. This caused a jolt of fear, accompanied by nightmare images of their bodies getting tangled up during the night, Jared waking to find Kelly’s arms around him. Then he heard the drone of television, the volume turned down low. Nothing had happened last night. For better or worse, everything was still the same.

Jared sat on the edge of the bed, watching the original
Terminator
movie. At the moment, a waitress with heavy-metal hair was locked in combat with an evil Arnold Schwarzenegger. Jared, having put on his jeans, watched all of this while chuckling under his breath.

“Laugh all you want,” Kelly said, yawning and stretching. “It’s a true story. I’m actually from the future. I was sent back to protect you because one day you’ll save the human race. To do so, first you must win the triathlon.”

Jared glanced back at him. “You seriously need to get a Blu-ray player up here. Nothing sucks worse than Sunday morning television.” “Feel free to buy me one for my birthday.” Kelly sat up and watched the screen, waiting for his morning wood to go down. Once it had, he slipped on his jeans and went to use the restroom. When he returned, the television was off and Jared was putting on his shoes. “Leaving already?”

Jared nodded. “You’ve got church, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but there’s still time for a bowl of cereal.”

“No thanks.”

Kelly blinked. Maybe something
had
gone wrong in the night. “You sure? We’ve got Count Chocula. Or Boo-Berry. Lady’s choice.”

“Definitely not. I’ve been drinking protein shakes in the morning. Part of my training.” Jared finished tying his laces and glanced up. “We still on for tomorrow? After school?”

“Totally,” Kelly said, relaxing a little. He walked Jared to the door, then strolled into the kitchen to gather his breakfast. He ate while sitting on the couch, watching his little brother play video games. Royal challenged him to a round of
Mortal Kombat
afterwards, which turned into a multi-hour marathon lasting through lunch. Kelly wasn’t pulling any punches, leaving his little brother sulking.

After one particularly bad beatdown, Royal paused the game and glowered at Kelly. “Aren’t you supposed to be at your gay-ass club?”

Kelly noticed the time, tossed the controller aside, and gently smacked his brother upside the head. “Don’t get lippy or the fighting will move from the screen to this floor.”

“I’m shaking,” Royal said sarcastically, smiling when Kelly failed to make him flinch with a faux punch.

His little brother wasn’t so little anymore. Not only was he growing at an alarming rate, but he’d be starting high school next year. During Kelly’s final two semesters, they would be passing each other in the hall. That was a sobering thought.

“Have fun playing with yourself,” Kelly said, hopping to his feet and heading upstairs.

After a thorough shower and half an hour in front of the mirror, Kelly felt as close to perfection as he ever did. Not that it would matter. There were guys he found attractive at most meetings, but for the last few months, Kelly had been practicing celibacy. Sacrificing the needs of his body added credence to the claims of his heart. Jared might not ever know it, but Kelly was proving his dedication to him, no matter how impossible the odds. How noble! How romantic!

How nauseating. Laughing at his reflection in the mirror, Kelly flicked off the light and headed downstairs. After saying goodbye to his father and kissing his mother on the cheek, he hopped in the car and started driving.

He really was going to church. That much wasn’t a lie. There just wouldn’t be a service when he got there. Kelly had first made the trek across town three years ago when he was thirteen. He had gone by foot, a grueling two-hour hike that concluded with him standing on the opposite side of the church parking lot, too scared to go inside. At the end of the meeting when everyone came outside, Kelly saw his first gay people in the wild, stunned by how normal they all looked. Even the two guys holding hands—a vision that made his heart flutter and confirmed what he already suspected: He was gay, and this was the life for him.

Two weeks later he returned, this time by bicycle. Working up the courage to enter hadn’t been easy, but Kelly had done so. His reward was disappointment. The group leader, Phil, felt Kelly was too young. Apparently the “youth” part of a gay youth meeting didn’t start until age fourteen. Kelly had waited outside in the parking lot, this time by the door, one of the older guys stopping to talk to him briefly. That had been thrilling, and was enough for Kelly to keep coming back sporadically, slowly getting to know the regulars and tagging along for coffee a few times, even if he was the only one who drank soda instead.

Then his fourteenth birthday came and went, and Kelly brought along his birth certificate, just in case Phil tried booting him out again.

But he didn’t, and it made all the difference. Being gay started to feel normal. Guys loved guys, girls loved girls. Kelly had a chance to see that every week, and to experience relationships, dating, and all the complications and delights that came with them. Being gay was no longer abstract or lonely, which made Kelly happy. Mostly. Having a boyfriend again would be nice. One that lasted more than a few weeks anyway.

Kelly made a slight detour on his way to the church, pulling into a nearby neighborhood and parking on the side of the street. He glanced over at the one-story house, tapped his horn when he saw that no one was standing behind the glass door, and started fiddling with his MP3 player. A few minutes later the passenger-side door opened, and a slight figure climbed inside, a whiff of men’s cologne accompanying her.

Kelly inhaled. “Someone smells good today!”

Bonnie crinkled her nose at him. “Do you like it?”

“I do, but it’s such a manly smell that I’m getting confused. I sort of feel like kissing you right now.”

Bonnie raised a seductive eyebrow. “Maybe I’ll let you!” She leaned over, but instead of going for his lips, she gave him a harmless peck on the cheek. She was laughing and about to pull away when she noticed the dashboard. “Is that supposed to be lit up?”

Kelly followed her gaze and swore. The gas light was on. So much for his parents paying for a fill-up. He dug out his wallet and found a limp and lonely five dollar bill. He held it up and shrugged helplessly, causing Bonnie to moan. “Why can’t we be rich?” she cried. Lifting her rump, she yanked on the thick metal chain hanging off her jeans, bringing her own wallet into view. She managed to triple their income with ten bucks.

“I’ll pay you back,” Kelly promised.

“Don’t worry about it,” Bonnie said. “You’ve been giving me rides for how long now?”

Kelly whistled under his breath as they cruised out into the street. “We must be getting close to our one-year anniversary.”

“Really?” Bonnie flipped down the visor and glanced in the mirror, brushing at the short-cropped hair she had dyed cranberry red a few weeks back. Already her dark roots were showing, but it looked cool. “We should do something special. Maybe a candlelight dinner followed by matching tattoos.”

“I’ve been thinking about getting my lip pierced,” Kelly said.

Bonnie brightened up. “Even better!”

“Of course such things require cash. Bank robbery?”

“Hmmm. You willing to change your name to Clyde?”

It took him a moment to get the joke, but he laughed once he did. “We could get jobs together somewhere.”