Something Had to Give (36 page)

The weather was starting to change, but we were still able to get in a few beach days. On days that the weather didn’t permit, we found other things to do around town or just relaxed at home. It took a few days, but I finally stopped worrying about running into Eric. The fact that he was MIA definitely helped. It was only once during the middle of the night that I heard him slam the door to his apartment, which woke me out of my sleep and made me sit straight up in bed. Jason slept through it all. Thankfully he didn’t notice the several minutes I sat there hoping and praying that he wouldn’t come pounding on my door. It didn’t hurt that I also didn’t hear a female voice with him. Still I sat there waiting for several minutes before I laid back down and finally was able to get some sleep. Despite the stress, it turned out to be a good week. From what I could tell, Jason did not suspect anything was wrong or different. Saying goodbye to him was hard. It usually was hard but that time it was more of me being scared that I was going to run back to Eric. It had been hard not seeing him for a week. Even though I was constantly afraid of running into him, I found myself wondering what he was up to. It was obvious that a week was not long enough to get him out of my system. I needed to stay away from him longer.

Staying away from Eric wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Even after fall break was over, he still made himself scarce. I would hear him coming and going from his apartment but he didn’t come over and neither of us tried calling each other. I finally felt like I had him out of my system until right before Thanksgiving break. The sound of him loudly entering his apartment woke me up from an afternoon nap. He was talking and laughing extremely loud and I figured that for whatever reason, he wanted me to hear him. At first I thought he was talking on the phone until I began to hear the squeals and giggles of a girl. I wasn’t sure what was going on over there but they were very loud and it went on for some time. The whole time I sat there seething, knowing that he was trying to be extra loud so that I would hear them. When I had finally had enough, I thought it would be best if I just left. As I was digging for matching socks, I heard them go out on the balcony. They were still laughing and talking loudly. With each second that passed I found myself getting more and more upset. I started thinking about what he had done when he saw me out with Jason and felt like was time that I got back at him. I knew it was ridiculous and irrational, but I couldn’t stop myself. It was time for him to get a taste of his own medicine.

Before I could stop myself from doing anything embarrassing or crazy I flung the door open to my balcony and was smacked in the face by the cold November air. I had on sweats, a short sleeve shirt, and only one sock. I didn’t take the time to plan out what I was going to do or say. I was literally just standing there glaring at them, shivering from the cold with clenched fist. They both stood there with their beer cans in hand and wide-eyed looks on their faces. As I stood there locking eyes with the girl, I was getting more and more angry. The girl was super pretty and worst of all, she was a drinking buddy for Eric. I don’t know how long we stood there before she nervously broke the silence.

“Oh, are we being too loud?” She asked glancing back and forth between Eric and me. He stood there with a silly grin on his face. I had responded exactly the way he wanted.

“Yeah, if you guys could keep it down a little.”

I didn’t give them a chance to respond as I headed back inside. The door was barely closed before I heard them both erupt in laughter. Their laughs stung and I felt like the biggest loser on Earth. I stood there in front of the closed door listening to their continued laughs. They had toned down their voices so I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but it didn’t take a genius to know that they were making jokes about my antics. Without anything to say to redeem myself, I went to my room and threw myself down on the bed. As I closed my eyes and replayed the last ten minutes in my head, I had to laugh at myself. It started out as a little chuckle and then I had to bury my head in my pillow to stifle my belly laughs. I was a mess. I was acting how Shanna would act if she were in my situation. Just the thought of displaying irrational behaviors like hers was a wake-up call enough to know that I had to get myself together.

I was up early the next morning to leave for Thanksgiving break. I was still pretty embarrassed from the night before and I didn’t want to risk running into Eric or the girl later in the day. It was just my luck that as I was loading bags into the car that Eric was pulling back into the parking lot. I was trying to play it cool like I didn’t see him but really, I was panicking. I wanted to get my bags into the trunk and pull off before there was an awkward interaction. Eric parked a couple of spaces down from me and by the time he got out the car, I was starting up mine to back out of the space. I didn’t look up until he was directly in front of my car carrying two Starbucks drinks and another bag with baked goods. He waved at me to get me to talk to him. It was infuriating me that he thought I wanted to talk to him while we he was taking breakfast up to some random chick and after what had happened the day before. My hesitation from pulling off gave him confidence to make his way off the sidewalk towards my window and as he did I slightly cracked my window to make it seem like I was going to talk to him. The joke was on him as I suddenly started reversing causing him to jump back on the sidewalk and spill one of the drinks. I let out a fake yet loud laugh at the sight before flooring it out the parking lot. It was one of the more childish things I had ever done but I didn’t care. I had gotten back at him and I felt better knowing that for the moment I had gotten the last laugh.

No one answered the house phone when I got to Charlotte, which was of no surprise to me. I didn’t really feel like sitting home by myself so instead I went to visit my cousin Samantha. Sanaa was in college herself now at Appalachian State and had not gotten home yet. Samantha was still in high school and was thrilled that someone with a car was coming over to visit with her. It was my intention to relax and hang out at her house but before I could even get comfortable on the couch, she had rattled off three different places that she wanted to go. I hated to be a buzz kill and it was blatantly obvious that she was bored out of her mind, so I compromised by agreeing to go to one of the places. Just as I expected, she chose the mall. I dreaded the mall knowing that the majority of kids that were out of school would be there. Samantha was a normal boy crazed teenager. I watched her blush as guys walked by her and was glad I was never like that. We happened to run into two of her friends at the mall and I ended up being the cool older cousin that drove them all to eat at TGI Fridays. It wasn’t how I expected to spend the day, but it was actually fun hanging out with them.

When I pulled into the driveway, there were no lights on in the house despite both of my parents’ cars being there. There was dead silence in the house which meant that they had both went to bed already. It was their right of course to go to bed whenever they wanted, but I couldn’t help but be bothered that they didn’t call or wait up to make sure that I made it there safely or just to greet me. It wasn’t until I was in bed that it dawned on me to check my phone and I realized that it was dead. When it charged I had two voicemails from Jason and surprisingly a voicemail from Daddy. He and Mommy were actually trying to figure out what time I would be getting in so we could all go to dinner. I had been bashing them mentally the whole day and it was my fault that I didn’t hear from them. It was late, so I knew Jason was off work, however, he sent my three calls back to back straight to voicemail. I left a message letting him know that I didn’t know that my phone had died. I was annoyed that he wouldn’t answer the phone and I was sure that it would be evident by my tone in the message. I waited a few minutes for him to call me back, but realized he wasn’t after waiting ten minutes. I held the phone in my hand for a few minutes longer debating if I wanted to call again and leave a message thanking him for ruining what had been a good day. Fortunately for him, I realized that I had done enough childish acts for the past two days and decided it was best to go to sleep.

I awoke the next day hoping that Mommy would be cooking breakfast. When I left out of my room, instead of smelling food cooking, I was smacked in the face with the strong smells of cleaning products. I instantly had flashbacks of being a kid, but it was a different time for Mommy. From what I could tell, she had learned to focus more on living life than cleaning all the time. I figured that maybe the plans had changed and we were having Thanksgiving dinner at our house instead of Aunt Michelle’s. I noticed Daddy’s car was gone when I got downstairs and decided to surprise mommy by making breakfast for the both of us. She was cleaning the oven when I walked into the kitchen, which made me chuckle. I knew never in 100 years would anyone be checking it to make sure it was clean.

“Morning Mommy.”

“Oh, good morning. You startled me. What time did you get in yesterday?” She was talking to me but her head was still in the oven scrubbing away.

“It was a little late. I was with Samantha and her friends. I hate that I missed Daddy’s call to go to dinner. My phone died.”

“Yeah, we waited as long as we could, but we figured you had made other plans.”

Mommy kept scrubbing as I was stood there looking around hoping she would get done soon. I still had plans to make breakfast, but she wasn’t catching the hint. “Well I wanted to make breakfast for the both of us, but I guess you’re going to be a while.”

“Oh, well yeah I’ll be just a bit longer. I wasn’t expecting you to be up so early.”

I was irritated by her response. Why wouldn’t she just move out of the way for a little while? “What’s the occasion anyway for all this cleaning? I thought we were having dinner at Aunt Michelle’s.”

Before responding, she finally stopped scrubbing and looked up with a surprised look on her face. “We are still going over there, but didn’t your dad tell you?”

“No, what was he supposed to tell me?” I felt myself getting frantic and I wasn’t sure why. I just assumed it was bad news.”

“Your sister called last week. Her and Craig are coming later today and staying for dinner with us.”

I heard the words she was saying but my mind wasn’t really processing it. Shanna was really going to step back into the house and she was bringing the dirtball that no one liked. Wow!

“Well that’s a nice surprise don’t you think?” Mommy was obviously pleased by the news.

“Yeah mom, that’s just great.” I replied as I left the kitchen no longer wanting to cook and no longer hungry.

I was being sarcastic and I hoped she picked up on it. It was understandable to let Shanna come back around but why would they agree to Craig coming and why was he still around anyway? What was really mind blowing was that Mommy was reverting back to old habits of excessive cleaning for someone who ridiculed her for doing it. Meanwhile 90% of the time, I felt like they forgot that I exist. I couldn’t remember the last time I had come home to a super clean house or the last time that it was obvious that my parents were truly happy to see me. They were trying so hard to win back Shanna’s love and affection when we all knew that if the slightest thing didn’t go her way, she would be gone again. By the time I got to my room I felt like I was throwing an all-out tantrum but I didn’t really care. None of it seemed right or fair. I didn’t want to be a part of it. I wanted to run far away and it made me feel even worse that I didn’t have anywhere to go.

Thanksgiving wasn’t a good time and I had to admit that my bad attitude played a role in that. We were an hour late for the set dinnertime waiting for Shanna and Craig to get to the house. Daddy called six times before she finally answered and told us to leave without them and that they would meet us there. I could hear her through the phone and swore she was drunk, high, or maybe even both. I was tempted to drive my own car so I wouldn’t have to be around them if that was the case. I already knew firsthand what it was like to be around them both when they were under the influence; I never wanted to experience it again. Daddy insisted that it was silly to take more than one car. I knew that really he insisted on me riding with them so we could pretend to be a happy family. For the sake of avoiding an argument, I begrudgingly agreed to ride with them. We waited another 30 minutes once we got to Aunt Michelle’s before we made the decision to eat without them. The disappointment was written all over both my parents’ faces but they did their best to remain in good spirits.

When they finally arrived, it was hours after we had eaten and we were preparing to dig into desserts. Shanna came in first looking like a brand new person with a very short haircut. She had gained at least 15 pounds since I had last seen her, but I had to admit that it looked good on her. Craig on the other hand, had doubled his weight and had an overall grungy look to him. They hugged everyone and seemed to be really happy but I still couldn’t bring myself to look either of them in the eye. I would be able to tell immediately if they were high and I didn’t want to know. I couldn’t help but notice that they both came with to-go cups from Bob Evans restaurant. They had done some pretty crazy things, but I thought that they had more tact than to skip out on Thanksgiving dinner. Apparently I wasn’t the only one to notice.

“I see you both have these to-go cups. Surely you didn’t blow off Thanksgiving dinner with all this good food for IHOP.” Aunt Michelle was trying to say it in a joking manner, but it was obvious that she was pretty upset.

“Well actually we went to Bob Evans, not IHOP.” Craig had not changed! He still had to have a smart comment for everything. He chuckled at his response, but no one else found it funny. We had delayed dinner for hours waiting on them while they were out eating somewhere else. It was rude.