Something Had to Give (18 page)

It was the most practical thing to do next to leaving and going home so I agreed. In the back of my mind, I had an uneasy feeling about leaving April alone with Daniel. He seemed too unpredictable and for some reason she seemed completely oblivious.

Catching on to my hesitation, April assured me that she was fine and that she would knock on Eric’s door shortly when she was ready to leave. I hoped that meant no more than 30 minutes. I was tired and still pretty pissed that Eric chose to set April up with a drunk. In an effort to not make the night even worse I tried to suck it up once in Eric’s room. I knew I had to calm down before further addressing the situation with him. Thirty minutes turned into forty-five minutes and before I knew it, an hour had gone by and still nothing from April. I was getting more impatient and before I knew it I just could not keep my eyes open. I was awakened out of a deep sleep by heavy knocks to the door that caused me to jump up. It took me a minute to figure out where I was. I almost jumped out of the bed when I saw Eric beside me and it hit me that I was still at his suite. When I looked at the clock I realized that I had been asleep over an hour. Another heavy knock brought me to my feet and though I was half asleep opening the door, the sight on the other side woke me up. April was slumped against the wall with a red puffy face and it was obvious she had been crying. Her clothes were wrinkled and hair a complete mess. There were so many things that I wanted to say but I was so shocked, that I could not form any words.

“I’m ready to go…now!” Her voice was both shaky and angry.

“April, what happened to you?”

“Nothing, I’m fine! Let’s just go.” With that she turned and made her way to the door.

By this time Eric was up looking just as confused as I was. We both followed April out into the common area where there were still a good amount of people, however, Daniel was nowhere to be found. Eric and I both tried to get April to stop or at least slow down and tell us what was going on, but she would hear nothing of it.

“I SAID I WAS FINE! STOP ASKING ME! CHERYL GET IN THE DAMN CAR OR WALK.”

She was screaming so loudly that when she stopped, my ears kept ringing. I did as I was told, leaving Eric standing there looking dumbfounded and shocked. April sped so fast out of the parking lot that the tires on her car screeched. It was only as we approached a stop sign that she slowed down. She let out the most gut-wrenching scream I had ever heard and burst out into tears. The sound was so horrific that I had chills. I begged her repeatedly to first stop the car and to tell me what was going on. I wanted to call the police, hug her, and put a bullet in Daniel’s head all at the same time. April flat out refused to tell me what happened and when we got to my dorm I was truly afraid to leave her. I insisted she come in or I go to her room when she started to scream at me once again to get out and leave her alone. Against my better judgment, I did as she requested and stood and watched as she sped off to her dorm.

The phone was ringing as soon as I got into my room. As usual Amanda had gone home for the weekend and I just let the phone ring knowing that it was Eric that was calling. There was no way I could talk to him. He had questions, which were the same questions I had, and I didn’t have the answers. I didn’t even bother to climb up to my bed. I sat on the floor in the dark with my heart pounding trying to put the pieces together. I was so upset with myself. I wished that I hadn’t left her in the room with Daniel. I knew better. Better yet, I should not have talked her into coming out with us. I had failed yet another friend. I felt horrible that I let something happen to April, something that I knew I could never fix. I don’t know how long I sat there on the floor, but as I finally got up to change clothes and brush my teeth the phone kept ringing non-stop. It got to the point that I had to turn the ringer off before laying down. I just wanted to sleep and wake up to it all being a bad dream.

I tried for three weeks to get into contact with April to no avail. When she would not answer any of my calls or emails, I resorted to other measures. I waited at her dorm, in the dining hall and even outside of her classes. I decided that either she had dropped out of school or had become a master at avoiding me. During those three weeks, I also didn’t talk to Eric. I stopped answering the room phone, which of course raised suspicion from my family and Amanda was thoroughly confused each time I asked her to tell him I was not home when she answered. I didn’t tell either of them what was going on. For one, I did not know the details and two, I felt so ashamed that I played a role in letting whatever happened happen that I could not bring myself to talk about it. I kept a low profile by hardly leaving my room and avoiding common areas where I could possible run into Eric. It was the loneliest and stressful three weeks ever.

I managed to keep a low profile until it was time to leave for Thanksgiving break. I was relieved to be going home. Even though I knew I would have to pretend that everything was OK, a break from the drama was much needed. I hoped that I would get the chance to talk to Shanna about the situation, but with her bringing Craig home, I knew there was a good chance that she would not leave his side. I made another effort to see April before leaving campus. There was not answer to her room door and after driving around the parking lot looking for her car twice, I felt like a stalker and left. I couldn’t imagine where she could be that I hadn’t looked. I didn’t know what else to do to get a hold of her and it bothered me to no end.

∞∞∞

The ride home was long and quiet. Along with many other students, I had waited until the day before Thanksgiving to hit the road and traffic was terrible. It gave me a lot of time to think though, which was a good and bad thing. I didn’t even bother to turn the radio on and in many ways the silence was refreshing to me. On the other hand, I came up with dozens of scenarios of what could have happened in that room between Daniel and April. I didn’t understand how we didn’t hear anything when Daniel and Eric’s rooms were right behind each other. If she screamed or if there was a struggle, we should have heard it even if I was asleep. The thought of her calling out for me to help her and not hearing her made me feel even worse. There were just so many possibilities and I just couldn’t process the thought that there was a chance that I would never know what happened.

It took six hours to get home instead of the usual four. I wasn’t bothered though since it gave me time to prepare for the happy front I was going to have to put on for my family. Shanna’s car was already in the driveway, with Craig’s truck beside it. “Great” I mumbled to myself. I was hoping for at least one night of not having to see them hang all over each other and make little mushy comments every five minutes. The lights on in the living room also meant that everyone was probably there being social. That was the other thing I did not want to do. I was instantly irritated and maybe slightly jealous that I was showing up alone without anyone to even call. Once inside, I was slightly overwhelmed by the greetings and hugs. They were all so happy that I found it hard to be in a bad mood. Mommy was finishing up dinner and everyone else was in the living room like I expected. The mood and conversation was light and random and best of all, no one pressured me to talk about school. Shanna and Craig weren’t as mushy as usual and it was nice to finally be around people and still feel relaxed. It was the first time in weeks I didn’t feel lonely. As we sat down for dinner, I felt bad that I had come home with such negative feelings toward the visit. Mommy had made what she considered a light dinner since she had a lot of cooking to do for Thanksgiving. When I saw it was shrimp Alfredo, I instantly thought of Eric who was a seafood fanatic. I remember teasing him on our first date when he ordered shrimp Alfredo and cleaned his plate. It seemed like it had been months, not weeks, since I talked to him and I couldn’t deny that I missed him.

Everyone got up early for Thanksgiving breakfast. By the time I got downstairs Aunt Michelle was already over with Sanaa and Samantha. I was amazed at how much they had grown since I last saw them. They were so different from the little kids that I was once able to entertain with my pretend school. I was able to chat with them briefly before Shanna made her way down with Craig dragging behind her like he wasn’t ready to get up just yet.

“How about we give Mommy and Aunt Michelle a break from the kitchen and fix breakfast.” This was Shanna’s suggestion and while I really didn’t want to, I knew that they did deserve a break from cooking.

“Sure.” I responded trying to sound like I also thought it was a good idea. The smirk she gave me showed that she knew me all too well to fall for my act.

We kept it simple and quick with breakfast. I scrambled eggs and cooked the turkey bacon, while Shanna made pancakes and toast. It turned out to be a fun time cooking with Shanna. I felt bad that I dreaded it at first. We laughed and joked about any random topic that came up and best of all Mommy and Aunt Michelle seemed so grateful for the break from the kitchen. It wasn’t long before our laughter brought Sanaa and Samantha into the kitchen to join us. It felt strange that they were old enough to join in our conversations and actually knew what we were talking about. It was also obvious they paid a lot of attention to everything we said. They actually looked up to Shanna and me. It was flattering I guess, but also scary. I felt like I made so many mistakes recently that I didn’t need to be anyone’s role model.

The rest of the day was wonderful all the way around. After breakfast, we let Mommy and Aunt Michelle get back to finishing dinner after we cleaned up the mess we made. Daddy and Craig claimed spots on the couch to prepare to watch and talk football. They seemed to take to each other pretty well, particularly over their love of sports. This, of course made Shanna even more gaga over Craig, if that was even possible. The four of us girls also claimed a spot in the living room, but we didn’t pay any attention to the TV or the sports talk around us. Instead, we continued with our girly chatter while Shanna gave each of us new hairstyles. We also gave each other manicures and pedicures since Samantha had declared this as her new talent. I had to admit she was pretty good at it, especially with the different designs she was able to give us all. She and Sanaa had reacted so differently to their parents’ divorce. It didn’t seem to bother Sanaa at all, but it seemed as though Samantha had thrown herself to into many activities and hobbies to keep her busy. It was difficult to tell if either of them was actually sad about the split, but I still wanted to hug them extra hard when I saw them. I just couldn’t imagine my parents splitting up.

It wasn’t long before Mommy and Aunt Michelle were able to take a break once everything was finished cooking. They opted to stay in the kitchen instead of joining us in the living room. Only Daddy protested a little at their isolation from the rest of the family, but they still remained seated at the kitchen table with their eggnog. From the living room, you could hear them deep in conversation with frequent outbursts of laughter. From the outside looking in, I imagined it looked like we were the perfect family because at that moment that is what it felt like. None of us seemed like we could possibly have a care or worry in the world. Even though I knew that it would be short lived, I found myself wishing that we all could keep that sense of peace forever.

Everything about dinner was perfect. The food was everything I expected it to be and somehow Daddy had learned a few jokes that were actually funny. Even Mommy couldn’t help but laugh. The kids cleaned up the kitchen after we ate and we were all so full that we all fell into food comas. I was awakened at Daddy cheering loudly at the TV. Apparently something big had happened in the football game. The yelling woke up Shanna as well, but everyone else was awake doing their own thing. Shanna and I felt it was a great time to dive into the desserts and then decided to start up a game of monopoly. We tried our best to keep it friendly, but it was tough on my end at least to not get frustrated. The game also lasted forever. However, it did end just in time for us to go out for some black Friday shopping. The guys stayed behind not wanting to fight the crowds, but we were able to peer pressure Mommy into coming out with us to brave the crowds.

We went to several stores and by the second 30-minute wait in line just to get into the store, Samantha and Sanaa both were over their first Black Friday experience. The crowds didn’t bother Shanna or me at all. We had been doing it for the last couple of years with Aunt Michelle so we knew what to expect. Mommy usually declined our invites to come out, but seemed to be handling the shoulder-to-shoulder crowds pretty well. I managed to score quite a few deals on things for myself, while Shanna stressed pretty much the whole time over the perfect gift to give to Craig. By the time we reached hour two in Belk’s, I joined my cousins in being completely over the shopping trip. Aunt Michelle was trying to convince Shanna to buy Craig a new watch while everyone else found a seat in the shoe section. I actually dozed off waiting when Mommy woke me up to finally leave. After Belk’s, we decided to finally call it quits and headed home. I was exhausted and more than excited to crawl into bed. As I reached over to turn my lamp off, I noticed a note on the nightstand with Daddy’s handwriting scribbled on it. When I picked it up to get a closer look it read, “Eric called.” I had to read those two words over several times before I believed what it said. I put the note back on the nightstand and as I turned the light off I couldn’t help but smile.

The next day at breakfast, Craig let us know that he would be leaving shortly to go and visit his family. Shanna looked less than thrilled about the news, but had decided to stay in Charlotte. I fought hard to hide it, but I was excited that she was staying. The fact that Eric had went through the effort to find out my home phone number and call had been on my mind all morning. I didn’t know if I should call back or continue to ignore him. I needed advice and I was glad that I was going to be able to finally tell someone what had happened and get some outside input. I figured hearing about my drama would help get Shanna’s mind off Craig for a few hours at least. There were seriously times when I felt like her obsession with him was a bit unhealthy. Surely, I thought, this sister time would be good for both of us. My excitement was short lived unfortunately. By the time I went to take a shower and get dressed, the plan had changed and Shanna was going with Craig to visit his family. She was dressed, packed, and impatiently waiting for me to get dressed so she could tell me bye.