Something Forever (25 page)

Chapter 35

Becky

I couldn’t believe
the day was finally here. My baby and I did great. We held on until the cesarean date. I looked like a balloon and my body felt so heavy to move, but that would disappear in time.

After the doctor gave me an epidural shot on my spine, which I couldn’t believe I felt no pain
from, I started to go numb below my waist. When I saw the size of the needle, I was glad I hadn’t seen it before. I probably would have refused it.

“
My family, your parents, Jenna, and Max are in the waiting room. Do you feel anything?” Matthew asked, walking in. The doctor had asked him to fill out more forms in addition to the ones I had already signed.

It had
been so long since Matthew and I had sex, I wondered how he was holding up, because all I could think of at that moment were perverted thoughts when I saw him. He looked so delicious, all dressed up in blue scrubs—just like the doctor—I wanted to strip them off him. “I feel something. I want something,” I said in my most seductive voice.

Matthew chuckled. “Don’t say that, Becca. You’re flat on your back with an easy access hospital gown on. All I have to do is just pull that string and I coul
d see all of you.” His hand slipped down to my breast, causing me to gasp. He gave me a slow kiss that would have produced all sorts of funny tingles down my legs; however, I couldn’t feel anything now on my lower half.

When the sound of footsteps approached, Matthew made sure I wasn’t exposed and stepped aside.

“We’re all ready for you,” Dr. Frances said. He was dressed the same as Matthew. More people came in and pulled the bed I was on. “Matthew, since this isn’t an emergency situation, you may be in the same room.”

“Don’t worry, Doc. I don’t plan on missing a thing.”

Matthew

I had no interest in seeing Becca’s g
ut, so I held onto her hands, gazing into her eyes while hovering at the side. She would open and close her eyes, sometimes squinting them. “Are you in pain? Do you feel what they’re doing?”

“No. I’m just anxious.”

“Me, too.” I wanted to keep her mind occupied. “I think I’m going to steal your gown and mine so we can play doctor and patient. What do you think?” I got a loud snort out of her.

“I think that’s a great idea
, ’cause I want to do a whole bunch of nasty things to you, Doctor Knight. I’ll be a good patient and do whatever you’ve been dreaming of and wanting to do for the past couple of months. You’ve been so patient and enduring.”

That sounded wa
y too hot to my ears. Whispering to each other and flirting like this was driving me crazy. My dick was straining in my pants. I had to turn off my emotions or we would be that couple the doctor and nurses would remember forever.

“It’s a
—” I heard a voice begin. Becky’s eyes grew wide. I stood up and turned to the sound. That was fast.

“You have a beautiful daughter, Mr. Knight.”

I knew I was going to have a daughter, but seeing her in front of me was a whole different, amazing feeling. Suddenly, I didn’t know what to do until the nurse handed her to Becca.

“Hello there, little one,” Becca cooed.

All I could see was her face, but that was enough to break me down. Whatever I had been feeling, this depth of happiness filled me completely. Since they had just taken her out and hadn’t cleaned her thoroughly yet, she still had some smudge of white stuff on her face that looked like white cream.

“She’
s beautiful,” I said softly, afraid that if I spoke any louder I would scare her. Her eyes were wide, and a glistening chestnut brown. She was alert and staring back at us.

“We’re you
r mommy and daddy. And we love you so much. Your two sets of grandparents, Auntie Rachel and Jenna, and Uncle Max are waiting in the waiting room. They can’t wait to meet you.” Becca paused. “You did it. You held on for us. I’m so proud of you.” A teardrop fell from Becca’s eye and I couldn’t keep my eyes from tearing, too. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing in front of me. She looked like a little angel sent from Heaven just for us. She was healthy and perfect.

“I love you,” I said to Becca
, and kissed her check. “I love you, too.” I kissed my daughter’s cheek. “Thanks for being so strong.”

Becca and I stood there
, frozen, and couldn’t stop staring at our miracle, the miracle that had a slim chance of surviving, of making it through as far as she did. She was a fighter for sure.

“It’s time to clean her up.”
The nurse took her from us.

Like a child, I wanted to pout and give
a million reasons why I needed a minute longer, but I gave in. I had no choice.

“What’s her name?” Dr. Frances asked.

“Addison Marie Knight,” Becca said proudly. “She’s named after Matthew’s grandmother.”

“That’s a beautiful name.”

“Seven pounds, twenty inches,” the nurse said.

“Perfect.” My l
ips locked on Becca’s, then we both shifted our gaze to Addison.

While the doctors stitched Be
cca back up, I held both of her hands. Thank you for second chances, I prayed. Thank you for keeping both of them safe.

My mind drifted back to Tessa and our unborn child. I wo
ndered if Tessa and I would’ve had a baby girl. Whatever the reason why they were taken away, it only led me to believe that they weren’t meant for me. It was funny how things turned out in life. Things happened for a reason in their own time and place, and helped people to learn and grow. Though I would always love Tessa and our unborn baby, and would keep them close to my heart, I was looking at my future now, my purpose, my reason for living, and I couldn’t have been happier.

Chapter 3
6

Jenna

A sensation of pain coursed through
me. It was light at first, but it got stronger. I felt my body shudder from trying to contain the ache, but it didn’t work. The pain expanded and deepened and it made my muscles weak. It felt hot, cold, then hot again, alternating as sweat dampened across my forehead.

I moaned
a painful sound, alerting Max to look at me. He didn’t say a word. He was waiting for me to speak. “I’m okay. I feel cramping.” Rubbing my stomach, I turn to the side. When that was uncomfortable, I shifted upward.

“Are you in
pain?” Max asked, looking down where the needle was stuck in me. Two types of liquid were flowing through me, IV and Pitocin. Being that I was a week late, the doctor had suggested that we induce labor. Though Max and I didn’t like the idea, the fact that being so late could cause stress to the baby made us decide to do it.

“Let me check your dilation
,” Dr. Howard said, walking in with a nurse.

Max smiled and turned away.
He still had a difficult time with another man seeing me naked.

“Looks like only two centimeters. We’re making progress.
The baby’s head is in good position, too.” Dr. Howard pulled my gown down. “Hang it there and let us know if there is any discomfort or if you have any questions.”

Before I could ask him a question, the monitor started beeping. Was someth
ing wrong with me? I turned to the sound, then to Max. He moved to the side for the nurse to come around. At that point, my heart was pumping on overload and all I could do was wait. The sound died as quickly as it had come.

Dr. Howard’s shoulders relaxed. “The sound
you were hearing was a warning that the baby was not getting enough oxygen.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. Clearly the docto
r’s words were simple and understandable. I just needed a moment to take it in. Max grabbed my hand when the nurse gave him a space to move in.

“It could be many factors, but one of the common ones are too much straining on the baby’s heart during induced labor
, or the cord being wrapped around the baby’s neck, cutting off the oxygen.”

“What can we do about it?” Max inquired. My poor Max, he looked so worried
, like he was the one having a baby.

“Right now, nothing. All we can do is wait. If it happ
ens again, we’ll have to prep Jenna for the possibility of a C-section. We’ll give her an epidural. An epidural is a shot that is used to numb the pain from the waist down, which I know you are aware of. The nurse will be right outside. I have to check on another patient, but I’ll be back. Don’t worry. I have a pager. They can contact me any time.”

“Thank you,” Max said, watching the staff
walk away.

Another wave of pain hit me. I took in deep breaths and exhaled slowly
, just like they’d showed us at the Lamaze class. Max, feeling the squeeze of my hand, knew I was having another round of cramping pains. Like a good trooper, he breathed with me.

It
wasn’t that long, but being in pain, time seemed to drag. “How are you doing?” the nurse asked. She lifted my gown. “I’m going to check your dilation. Can you lift your legs for me?” I did as instructed. “Hmmm...still only two.”

“Only two?” I let out a huff.
With all of the pain I had been enduring, I’d thought I would have least expanded a bit more.

“Don’t
be discouraged. It takes time, but two is better than none.”

It was
easy for her to say it. She wasn’t the one in labor. “Ahhh,” I cried softly, holding my stomach. I wanted to scream, but I contained myself by biting my bottom lip. Women had said being in a labor was like having really bad menstrual cramps. My cramps were never that bad so I had no idea what I was in for. And no one could truly understand what it was like to be in labor unless they’d experience it.

Max dragged his hair back and took a forceful step toward the nurse. “Isn’t there something you can do for her pain?”

“She’ll have to hold on. It’s too soon for an epidural.”

“Okay. That’s right.” Max nodded, looking disappointed. He had forgotten what we learned in Lamaze class. I couldn’t blame him. In fact, I was surprise at myself that I remembered to breathe.

The nurse started checking my vital signs when suddenly
the beeping noise that I’d heard before rang in the room. This time, knowing the reason for the sound, I panicked. “The baby,” I whimpered.

Max stepped aside again for the nurses and Doctor Howard. The beeping sound was faster this time.
“Let me try shifting the baby’s position.” I had no idea what he meant, but what he did next made me cry out in pain. This time I couldn’t hold it in.

I wasn’t sure what he was doing, but something pushed inside
of me. I cried out with no control. “Look at me, babe,” Max directed, holding both of my hands. Focusing on Max’s loving face helped somewhat, but when my back arched in pain, I turned away. It took two turns, but whatever the doctor did, the beeping noise stopped.

Doctor Howard released a long sigh, looking
relieved. “Sorry, Jenna. I know you didn’t like the idea of having a cesarean, but I’m afraid there’s going to be no choice. You haven’t progressed. You’re still at two and it’s been a couple of hours. The anesthesiologist will give you an epidural and get you ready. The baby’s heart rate dropped stronger this time. I don’t want to take any more chances. We need to deliver now.” He turned to Max. “Mr. Knight, you are welcome to join us in the delivery room, but you’ll have to put some protection on. The nurse will bring them to you.”

“Yes, please. I want to be in there with my wife.”

While Max was putting on the uniform, I was getting my epidural. I held my hands tightly in a ball, ready for the pain on my spine, but nothing came. “There, done. You did great,” the anesthesiologist said. “Pretty soon, you won’t feel a thing.”

I did great? He was awesome. “I didn’t feel a thing,” I praised him. “Thank you.”

“That’s what I’m good at, painless as possible. We want to make sure you’re comfortable. You’re all ready. Everything is going to be fine.”

“Thank you,” I smiled.
There was peace and assurance in his tone. Whatever the worries I had before about things going wrong during birth, they vanished. His words were like an answer to my prayer.

Max stretched his arms and strutted to us. “How do I look?”

Delicious, I wanted to say, but instead, I offered a soft laugh. “You look like a doctor.”

When the anesthesiologist
walked away, Max hovered over me. “You look so cheerful. I’m assuming the drugs are working?”

“Yes.
” Some sensations wavered through me, and now it felt like having a baby was going to be a piece of cake.

Max’s gaze on me
turned heated. “Now that you feel better, how do I really look? What did you want to say, Jenna? I could see in your eyes that you wanted to say something else.”

I tugged him closer so I could whisper in his ear. “I want to fuck you wearing one, Doctor Knight.”

Max’s lips pulled back in a huge grin. “Maybe I can buy one, but only if you’ll wear that gown.”

We started to laugh when we jerk
ed back from the sudden sound. The nurses and doctor were already halfway in the room, but the sound started increasing, faster than the last time.

“
Code blue,” I heard one of the nurses yell outside of the room.

Another
bed was reeled in. It took two men to switch me over, one on each side. It happened so fast that I had no time to register what was happening to me. It was the strangest feeling to have my body being lifted like that. Having no sensation to my lower half, I felt as if half my body was missing.

“We need to get her in now,” Dr. Howard demanded. His tone shot up my adrenaline. Fear flushed through me. My baby was all I could think of. What if something terrible
happened? Oh my God! “Max,” I cried out loud as they started to wheel me.

“I’m right here,
babe. Don’t worry about a thing. Everything will be fine.” Max sounded calm, but I could also feel the fear in his tone.

“Everything is fine, Jenna
,” I heard one of the nurses say, but all I could see was the white ceiling above me as they wheeled me into the room.

“You can
’t come in, Max,” someone said.

“What do you mean?” Max sounded agitated. Then I heard the door close.

My heart pounded with no mercy, and I was scared out of my mind. I didn’t care what happened to me, I just wanted my baby safe and well. Please God, I prayed. Please don’t take my baby. Max and I will take good care of our baby. Please. Tears slid down the side of my face on both sides.

A warm hand touched my forehead. “Can you feel anything? I just gave you an extra dosage of epidural just to make sure.”

“I’m okay,” I replied, wiping my tears.

“Max is waitin
g outside. We don’t let the husband in during cold blue situations.” I gazed at the door. Max was just beyond there. I could see his face, but he couldn’t see that I was looking at him. I wanted him with me. He should be with me, I wanted to demand, but the baby came first.

Max

Damn it! The nurse blocked my way and just fuckin’ closed the door on me. How could she do that? Jenna needed me and I couldn’t be there for her. It was the most frustrating thing. Pacing back and forth helped me relieve some tension and frustration, but that only lasted for a few seconds.

When the nurse yelled out
code blue, my heart dropped to the floor. Knowing what that meant had me scared for both of their lives. All I could do was tell Jenna that everything would be fine even though I wasn’t sure. Guilt consumed my heart at that moment. When Jenna told me she was pregnant, a huge part of me wished she wasn’t. I was even upset about it, but now the possibility of losing our baby was devastating. How could I have ever wished the baby wasn’t conceived at all? Tugging a fistful of my hair with both of my hands, I took deep breaths. Please don’t let anything happen to our baby or Jenna, I prayed.

Unable to control my curiosity and nee
ding to know that everything would be fine, I plastered my face against the small window, but it was frosted. I could hardly see a thing. Damn it! I had to pull myself together. This was not how I should be acting.

Just before my pulse shot up again, the door opened.

“You may come in now. Everyone is fine,” the nurse said, swinging the door wider.

“Thank God,” I huffed
under my breath, and went straight to Jenna.

Jenna

“Is my baby okay?” I asked with hesitation. I was afraid to know. Oh God! What if my baby came out all blue and couldn’t breathe?

“They are work
ing fast...almost done,” the anesthesiologist assured me.

I
looked beyond the blue long cloth that blocked me from seeing what they were doing. I could understand why. I probably would have fainted from the sight of my guts all hanging out.

“And there
...we are done.”

“That was fast
,” I sighed. It was within a few minutes.