Something About Witches (35 page)

“Yeah. If you quit pretending otherwise and tell me you love me.”

H
ER LIPS PRESSED TOGETHER
. “I
THOUGHT ONLY GIRLS
needed to hear it said out loud.”

He didn’t say anything further, just tipped up her chin with a finger to meet his gaze before his mouth took hers again. Slow, long, devastatingly sweet. A touch of his tongue, tracing the seam of her lips and then inside, a languid dance with her tongue that brought her in closer to him, made her lean full into his body. When he lifted his head, she kept her eyes closed, until his fingers flexed on her hips and he spoke, low. “Ruby.”

She opened her eyes, saw the sphere had moved. It was now right next to them, shining its light on them like a moon. Though the occupant wasn’t supposed to have any conscious awareness of this room or who was in it, Ruby had noted the sphere gravitated toward her when she spent time with it. Not so much like Theo following on her heels, but a definite drift to be near her. And now, here it was, right with the two of them. Derek reached up, laid his hand against the energy, his large palm curving around the side as if it were corporeal, following that arc. She lifted her own and did the same, holding it between them. It stayed still, fixed between their two points. Her heart overflowed, as if the soul inside had validated Derek’s presence here, the two of them together.

It gave her own battered soul something it hadn’t had in a while. A tendril of hope, the potential for happiness again.

“She was perfect, Derek. So perfect.”

“Like her mother.” She was amazed to again see that
faint glistening in his eyes, so moved by her words he couldn’t rein back the emotion. “Perfect in her imperfections. The only woman I’ve truly loved with every part of my soul. I would have loved our daughter the same way. I do love her the same way.” His gaze darkened. “We have to let her go, Ruby.”

A quiet statement of fact, not a threat. The pain in his gaze told her he understood, didn’t want to say it. That he’d do anything not to have to say it, because of what it could do to her. “Give her the chance to grow up, meet boys, read books, think her own thoughts against all the good and bad of this world. Embrace every ounce of her potential. One day, we’ll see her again.”

Knowing he understood helped. Sort of. It at least helped her to respond honestly, no shields up.

“I don’t know if I can bear it, letting her go.”

“I’ll be right beside you. Behind you. Wherever you need me to be. You can use my strength, Ruby, every bit of it. It’s all yours.” Putting his hand on the side of her neck, he curved his strong fingers on her nape. “Though you won’t need as much of it as you think, because you’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met. There’s been something inside you all your life, waiting for you to embrace your own potential, take it and own it. You can do what so few people are ever able to do. Leave the past behind, make it your foundation and build your own worth on top of it, rather than letting it drive you into the ground. You’re so close to it. I know you’ll get there. And I’m going to love seeing it happen.”

His fingers tightened then, his expression becoming irritable. “But, damn it, girl, you still haven’t said you love me.”

“I didn’t think it was needed. You pretty much demand everything, so I wouldn’t dare not to.” Her smile created a little pain in her chest, so many things happening in this room, so many possibilities shifting. But she framed his face with both hands, stared up at him.

“I love you, Derek Stormwind. With all my heart and
soul. If you ever go away like that again, I will turn you into a house cat. Theo will slobber all over you and carry you around in his mouth like a chew toy.”

She knew it was a confusing statement. He couldn’t help having been in the Fae world, and afterward,
she’d
sent him away. Plus, sooner or later, because of his job, Derek would have to leave again. She understood that. But she was counting on him to understand the feelings that drove the statement, versus the unlikely reality of it.

“You’re a cruel woman.” Sliding his fingers over her hips now, he cupped her backside. The sphere continued to float in their proximity, but gave them more space. “What would you think about coming with me?”

Ruby blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I said. I want you to travel with me. Let me help you learn how to use your power, and you help me do what I do.”

At the intensity in his gaze, her heart thudded up higher into her throat. “When you’re given power, it’s given for a reason. You aren’t intended to sit on it. While there are a hell of a lot more personal reasons you and I are fated to be together, the Powers that Be may have drawn us together specifically because of what you’re becoming, and what I already am.

“You have free will,” he added carefully, at her uncertain look. “You always have a choice of what to do with it. But I’m offering. Light Guardians aren’t all that plentiful, and I wouldn’t be the first to apprentice a strong magic user to aid his work.”

She was floored. From his look of concern, the tightening of his grip, she suspected she’d gone about two shades paler. She made an effort to pull it together. “Well, I guess you are getting kind of old. Probably need younger eyes, and all that.”

The lines near those appealing blue eyes crinkled. “You’re probably right about that. And, thank all the gods,
young as you are, you’re already potty trained. I won’t have to worry about that.”

He took her blow to the solar plexus with good grace, not even moving to defend himself. But he stilled her when his expression changed, his touch gentling, coming up high on her waist. His thumbs brushed her rib cage. “If you get pregnant again, then we both take the time off. However many years are needed. Protecting our child is as important as anything else I’ve done. I’ll dedicate myself to it, and you, the same way. I’ve given the Light centuries; they can give me a few decades to see my children grown. I should have been here the first time around. I’ll never make that mistake again. Okay? Not even the fires of Hell or treacherous Fae mages will keep me away from you. I’ll incinerate the entire Fae world if they try.”

It was a bolstering thought, having her centuries-old boyfriend offer to destroy an entire world for her. She wanted to give him a smile, but there were so many thoughts going through her head, so many conflicting feelings, she wasn’t sure how to react. And then he really sent her into a tailspin.

He took a deep breath. “Later, I’ll think of a better way to do this, in a more memorable way, but given how our lives are, I don’t want to wait another minute to say it. If you want to go with me, I have a condition. I want to marry you, Ruby. I want you to be my wife.”

S
HE DIDN’T GIVE HIM AN ANSWER ON ANY OF IT, OF
course, and was relieved he hadn’t expected it, not right now. He appeared content to have said it, to know she understood— though with the incredulity of Moses seeing the burning bush— that he meant every word, that it wasn’t some spur-of- the-moment thing driven by fear of losing her again.

Well, okay, yeah, a little, but not in the wrong kind of way. More in the totally flattering, can’t-believe-I’ve- waited-this-long kind of way.

However, he seemed to understand her answers were on hold until certain things were resolved, the most important of which was in this cave. There was a cot in the corner, and of mutual accord, they gravitated toward it, because neither one wanted to leave just yet. They sat on the edge of it, watched their daughter, talked quietly of this and that, hands loosely linked. Derek’s arm was around her, his other palm curved over her hip so she was in the shelter of his body. At one point, the sphere descended to rest in their laps, then drifted off again.

Ruby laid her head on his shoulder, realizing how late it had gotten, and that she was getting sleepy. Rather than suggest they leave, Derek stretched out on the cot, bending his knees since it was about a foot shorter than his frame, and pulled her back into his body. She rested her head on his biceps as they continued to watch their daughter’s soul randomly drift among the circle of magically imbued objects. Ruby kept her fingers tangled with his under her head. His other hand stayed on her hip. They fell silent, staying that way a long time. Not sleeping, but resting all the same, dreaming along with Rose of what might have been.

“I thought there was no Heaven,” Ruby spoke softly. “No place where there’s peace, stillness. Where there’s only Light, no shadows. I gave that to her, gave her Heaven, because I couldn’t bear the thought of letting her go where there was nothing, and that was all she’d ever know. When she was ripped from me, she was afraid. The first thing my daughter ever felt from the world.”

“No, baby. The first thing she felt, the first and last, was your love.” He considered the sphere. “I’m going to say something, but it’s not to initiate a decision, all right? I don’t want you to tense up. Want to keep you loose and relaxed like a snake on a warm rock, just like you are right now.”

She smiled against his arm, and tried to comply, tried not to feel the trickle of uneasiness. He rubbed her back in slow circles, helping.

“A mother’s love is an incredible, huge thing. But there may be another factor in play here. If you’d had a normal grieving process, over time you would have made peace, let her go. However, because you used a combination of Dark and Light to keep her here, it grew in you, has made you more possessive. The main reason you can’t let her go now may be the hold of the Darkness, rather than the love. I’m not saying you don’t love her,” he added, giving her a squeeze, anticipating that strong reaction. “I’m saying it’s like when scam artists troll obituaries to prey on grieving widows.”

“You think the Darkness is using me.”

“That’s what it does. It latches on and feeds. Much the same way the Light does, building itself.”

“You’re teaching again.”

“You’ve always respected knowledge, Ruby. It’s why you were able to do magic the likes of which I’ve never seen before. Your heart’s involved in this, but I know your mind is as well. I wanted to give you that to think about.” He paused, capturing her attention.

“What is it?”

“After I kicked Mikhael’s ass, I went to let off some steam. I ran into a cadre of angels.”

“Of course you did. That happens to me all the time. Were they playing darts at the local pub?”

“Smart-ass.” He gave her a light pinch. She squirmed against him, enjoying his grunt and the glint in his eye from the sensation. Then he sobered. “They said, ‘Help her soon.’ At the time, I thought they meant you, but now I think they meant Rose.”

That drove away any playfulness. Ruby lifted up on her elbow, looked at him squarely. “Why?”

“You did a wrong deed, but you did it out of love. It’s that love, and other factors”—somehow, she knew Derek was grudgingly giving Mikhael his due; she also thought it had been a mutual ass kicking, but kept her tongue, loyal to her man—“that are helping you straddle the line between Light
and Dark.” He let a finger glide under her eyes, the shadows there. “But you’re sliding down that slope faster now. I know you feel it. What happens to her, when you do? When the Darkness takes over? This room, everything feeding that sphere, the sphere itself, is an incredible power source. It can be used for a lot of different things.”

Derek saw various levels of distress cross her face, those factions warring within her. He could see the ugly shape of the Darkness, whispering its fears and lies to her, just as he could see her mind working it, the mind and heart he knew and trusted. He hated that all he could offer was words right now, but part of this battle had to be hers, much as he wanted to fight it all for her.

“I’m not going to talk about it anymore,” he soothed. “Not right now. But I want you to think about it, all right?” When he brought her back down, he gave her hair a tug, repeated it. “All right?”

“All right.” Her tone was uncertain, her hand curling into the open collar of his shirt, which she was still wearing.

“Let’s do something else,” he suggested. “What games did you imagine playing with her?”

She was quiet for a bit, but he waited her out. At length, she sighed. Lifting her hand, she made a tracing in the air. At the shimmer of power, he bit back a fierce smile of pride, an odd sting of tears, as she created the simple, beautiful magic. Up until now, he hadn’t had the opportunity to enjoy what she could do, to celebrate that with her. Now he did.

The pretty white dragon, no bigger than a house cat, flapped its wings and sneezed, turning in a somersault. It was an illusion, but in a child’s room, it could perch on the edge of a crib, circle her bed like a mobile, or spout tiny gouts of flame. He concentrated, and a black male dragon appeared in her shadow, initiating an indignant chirp and an impromptu aerial duel as they tangled and danced through the air, then settled into soaring about the small
space like birds, swooping high, then low, passing through the sphere to give Rose a glimpse of dragons.

“I think she had special abilities of her own,” Ruby murmured, watching the dragons as they dissipated, became a shower of starlight that orbited the sphere. “I think that’s why she was able to jump-start my own abilities. With your blood….”

“And yours.” He squeezed her.

“I think she would have been remarkable.”

“She is remarkable. A soul can’t be killed, Ruby. The energy just goes elsewhere when the mortal form can no longer contain it.”

“But I want her here.”

“I know.” Crossing his arms over her chest, he held her close as she wept. She was grieving, letting go. Leaning on his strength to do it. Pressing his face into her hair, he shared that sorrow with her. “Do you think she would have been a princess, wanting bows in her hair and her room all in pink?”

“Probably. Since pink always makes me think of Pepto Bismol.”

As a teenager, Ruby had been a tomboy, his shy girl with alert eyes, always wearing jeans and T-shirts on her slim, boyish form.

“Nope.” Ruby changed her mind. “I’m thinking cowgirl. She’d love horses, and I’d have to fuss at her to take off her boots before coming in the house. We’d live somewhere with lots of land so she could have her horse. She’d probably want to rescue horses, and before we knew it, we’d have a herd. And her daddy could ride horses everywhere, since that’s what he likes. He’d put her on the horse in front of him and trot off to Walmart when I needed some groceries. They’d put in a hitching post for him.”