Something About Witches (23 page)

Maybe in terms of his life span, he’d have her for only a moment, but it was as she said.
It’s a really important moment. I want to have it to hold, to remember. The pain as well as the good stuff.
Because that was what made life so damn precious.

The thought twisted in his heart. Moving so slowly, not wanting to wake her, he cupped his palm over her abdomen. That twist became a damn railroad spike.

Oh, Ruby.

When she’d sent him away, he’d sensed pain and grief, but beyond that, a desperate desire not to feel anything, as if she couldn’t afford the emotions he raised in her. He couldn’t penetrate or understand her pain, and so he’d made a mistake. Soul magic aside, he’d been an arrogant fool, thinking he knew everything. She was young, something
was bugging her, he’d come back in a few months, stay in touch with her throughout, see if he could help ease it out of her, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

It was often said that Fate made everything happen in its own time. Thinking about what she’d endured without him, what she’d given up of herself, he didn’t accept that. He’d fucked up, and it just plain infuriated him that he hadn’t been with her when she needed him. As Raina had said, it was Ruby’s time now. And he sensed she needed him more now than she’d ever needed anyone.

What was she crying over in her dreams? He was going to get to the bottom of this and help her, before she lost herself permanently. Because no matter how amazing and terrible she’d been today, no matter how it confirmed what he’d always suspected, that she had a reservoir of power that could eclipse the most capable witches he’d ever met, he would rather see her a mundane, sassy gun-shop owner than swallowed by the brutal claws of the Underworld. He’d love her as witch or woman. And maybe somehow he’d finally help her learn to love herself the way she deserved. The way he loved her. Help her repair the damage her mother and a childhood of living in the lonely shadows had done.

For all the things he’d done to help the world, he thought he’d never been given anything so important to do. It was as if the fate of the world hung on her one soul. Given the things he’d seen in his long life, it wasn’t as far-fetched as it sounded.

He’d better catch a few minutes’ sleep, though he didn’t want to do so. He didn’t want to waste a second of the time she was lying in his arms. However, when she woke up, they’d have difficult things to discuss. Since discussing difficult things with Ruby was like fighting a cornered coyote with one hand tied behind his back, he’d best be rested up for the challenge.

Unfortunately, his stomach was rumbling, telling him he’d have to go look for food soon.

Maybe later. As she made a quiet, plaintive noise, a soft plea, he tightened his arms around her. “I love you, baby,” he murmured. “I’m right here. I’m going to take care of you, going to take care of all of it. Just trust me, and I won’t let you down again.”

R
UBY WOKE FEELING BRUISED AND ALTOGETHER OUT OF
sorts, particularly when she found she was alone. Derek had left a note on the side table.

Wanted you to sleep as long as possible, and my stomach wouldn’t shut up. Went to scare up some food. We need to talk. Don’t try running. I’m damn good at hog-tying.

She indulged a vision of hanging him with his own rope, but it was a little discomfiting, how graphically that gruesome image came to mind, as if the residual effects of her magic use last night were lingering like a hard-to-shake flu.

She’d try to avoid him as long as possible, she decided. An entirely unrealistic thought, but it was the lie she was going to use to get out of bed today. Thank the Goddess they’d given the coven the morning off, though she was sure she needed to touch base with Linda and Christine and find out about Miriam. Possibly go see her and have that talk Derek said should come from her. The fact he was right just made it, and him, more irritating.

With the help of a few Advil, she got dressed, fed Theo and then spent some time on the floor with him. She rubbed ears, scratched the good spots on his belly and hips, until the creases in his face went back to the normal crumpled paper look, rather than the drawn look of a worried old man. Linda’s dogs were probably as freaked-out by the energy storms, but of course Theo had had a front-row seat to the fallout, seeing Derek carting her in here, and the subsequent fireworks from that.

Laying her head on Theo’s side, she closed her eyes to hear his heartbeat. He nuzzled her hair and then sighed
deeply, dropping his head off the edge of the dog bed. She wanted to go home, back to her shop. She shouldn’t have agreed to do this. Her foundation, already too tenuous, was about to crumble.

Nonsense.
She straightened, scrubbed a hand over her face. Tightening her hands in her hair, she gave it a harsh tug, then rose from the bed. She forced herself to step in front of the mirror, check that she didn’t have that freakish look she’d had last night. Fortunately, the scariest things she saw were her mussed hair and tired face. She hadn’t brought any makeup, but it was the first time in a while she’d had a serious vanity twinge over it. Since she couldn’t seem to keep herself from crying a couple times a day, it was pointless to put on any. Revlon might make waterproof mascara, but they meant waterproof in terms of gym sweat, not Niagara bursting out of a woman’s tear ducts.

Given how often most women needed to cry, she expected if they did come up with a mascara that met the challenge, it would be a million-dollar best seller. Marketing would have a dilemma on that one, though.
Overwhelmed by tears once, twice, even three times a day? Never fear. Even if you’re so depressed you’re considering suicide, our mascara won’t come off. You’ll look
great
at your funeral.

She sighed. At least her face no longer had that scary angular look, and her pupils were normal pinpoints from the sunlight coming in the window. Though she felt like she’d been hit by a truck, it was the soreness of her inner thighs that captured her attention, the lovely ache that came from cradling a man’s body. She didn’t experience that postcoital side effect with Mikhael much; he wasn’t the missionary-position sort.

She pushed that away, instead thinking of the first time Derek had ever made love to her. A storm over the mountain, rain coming down against the windowpanes, his body on hers, moving easily, sinking deep after he got her good and wet, too aroused to be nervous— much. Her very first time, with her very first love. The only man she’d ever loved.

An odd memory to have at this moment, but it helped. As she stepped outside the door, she took a deep breath of the forest air, the morning sunlight washing over her. It gave her some bracing hope. Despite the debris left inside her from last night’s storm, she could clean it up, handle whatever the day would bring. She didn’t have to tell Derek Stormwind one damn thing. She didn’t owe him anything.

Even if she left today, she’d done the job as he’d laid it out to her. She’d intended to use the next few days to explore more in-depth the things they’d learned, different nuances that would help them self-teach into deeper areas, the more they practiced. But they’d figure that out themselves, with Derek giving them pointers. And she could of course always leave her shop number with Linda if she wanted to do any phone consults.

She bit her lip. She could admit it, if only to herself. If Derek didn’t start riding her ass and making her miserable, she kind of wouldn’t mind staying here several more days. Leaning in the doorway, she looked at the sun coming up over the trees, watched Theo meet up with Linda’s dogs at the edge of the wood, do the usual sniff greetings and tail waggings.

It wasn’t until she pulled herself away from that view that she tightened up. Because when she turned back toward the house, she saw Linda and Derek standing together at the gazebo pavilion. While she’d been studying the day’s beautiful blue sky, the green marsh, a contrast to the dark and frightening events hours before, they were watching her.

Suppressing the desire to run, she crossed the lawn to join them, trying to look unconcerned, indifferent. Amicably so, for Linda’s benefit at least. The priestess’s gaze was unreadable, but Derek was giving Ruby his frog-dissection look, noticing everything from the circles under her eyes to how she was moving. To stop him from saying something that would immediately make her want to slap him, she spoke as soon as she was in earshot.

“I thought you were off at some pancake house, stuffing your face at the all-you-can-eat buffet? You know they get suspicious when you single-handedly empty out those bins of bacon and sausage.”

“That’s why I usually go to two or three of them in a morning, spread myself thin. You’re hurting.”

“I took Advil. Don’t start nagging. Old woman.”

“Shrew.”

Ignoring him, Ruby nodded toward the dogs, who were now moving in a determined patrol of the clearing perimeter, as if they would ferret out what had happened last night and set it all to rights with a few strategically placed leg lifts over shrubbery. “Maybe we should have let them handle things last night.”

“Since I’ve seen them herd my nieces and nephews, a pack of Underworld soul-eaters would have been a piece of cake.” Linda managed a wan smile.

The joke eased a tightness in Ruby’s chest. “So Miriam’s okay?”

“Very shook up. She won’t be coming back to join us anytime soon, though I told her she handled herself very well. She said…. once things got settled, maybe she would, but she just couldn’t handle it right now.”

“She’s young, and she’s had a bad trauma. She showed real guts, though. I think she’ll be back.”

“Young.” Linda pursed her lips. “She’s twenty-four. Maybe three years younger than you?”

“Well, there’s young, and there’s young.” Ruby lifted a shoulder, uncomfortable with the topic.

“Ruby matured at age ten,” Derek said lightly. “I’m going to go finish up my breakfast, give you two a chance to talk.”

He gave Ruby a look that clearly said he was saving their conversation for a more private moment but, like the dawn, it was coming whether she wanted it to or not. She gave him a fuck-off look right back. His brow arched, a challenging glint in his eye. “I’ll save you a biscuit or two if you want
to come join me when you’re done,” he added. “But you better hurry. Theo may get it.”

“He likes blackberry jelly on his.”

That feral grin flashed over his face, but he addressed his next words to Linda. “Thanks for making me a meal. You’re a great cook.” He touched the woman’s shoulder, a brief squeeze, and then he was gone, striding back to the house. No help for it, Ruby had to watch, and she saw Linda doing the same.

“No man should look that good in a pair of jeans,” Linda noted.

“Temptation and sin never come in ugly packaging,” Ruby returned, but she watched right along with her until he disappeared into the house.

“Well, it’s clear my little crush is all it’s meant to be.”

Ruby glanced at her. “I told you, if you want to try and make a move—”

“Ruby.” Linda gave her a look that Ruby suspected quelled her dogs
and
nieces and nephews, when either species became too rambunctious. “I’m not clueless. It’s obvious his heart already belongs to you and—”

“That’s his business and his problem.”

“And,” Linda repeated, “
your
heart belongs to him as well.” A wistful smile touched her lips. “You watch him like he’s the sun, the moon and the stars, even when you’re angry with him, as you are now.”

Ruby thought of a hundred ways to deny it, but gave it up as a botched job. “Doesn’t matter,” she said. “And I’m not angry at him. I just don’t know how to deal with him.”

“That’s usually how you know he’s the right one.”

Linda sobered then, shifting so she was squared with Ruby. “I have a great deal of respect for Derek,” the priestess said carefully. “A great deal of trust. He sent you to teach us, and you’re doing that, for certain. My ladies have learned more about magic use in a few days with you than we’ve discovered in three years of practice together.”

“I’m glad I could help,” Ruby said in a neutral tone. “I think you all will get better and better, building on the information we’ve given you.”

Linda nodded. “Ruby, the way you talked about Dark and Light that first day…. I’m very grateful you’re here, and for all your skill and expertise, but I have my own skills, and my own connection to the Lady’s energy. What you were doing…. it made me extremely uncomfortable. I don’t want to offend you, but it was more than a sense of danger.” She took a deep breath. “Something felt very
wrong
about the magic you were using. Can you explain that to me, so I can understand better?”

“It got the job done,” Ruby said shortly, turning toward the house. Linda reached out, touched her arm.

“Yes, it did. But that’s why Derek and you are fighting, isn’t it? I’m not trying to pry into your business. I don’t have the right to that, I understand. But this coven, I feel a responsibility to protect them. To understand, to not hide from knowledge that can hurt as well as help them.”

It was fair; Ruby knew it was. Even so, she still had to fight the defensiveness, the ugly feelings that surged up.
None of your goddamned business, stay off this lawn, no trespassing past this point….

She shoved down the anger, managed to answer in a civil tone. “I have some magical skills that are fairly…. different. I stepped out of the circle specifically so they wouldn’t be exercised within it, so it wouldn’t touch you or your people. Miriam was brave, and her intentions were the best kind, but you and I both know her stepping out of the circle was a judgment error.”

“You were down, and the soul-eaters were closing in.”

“I was fine.”

“If
fine
means you don’t care if you live or die anymore.”

“Don’t think you know me,” Ruby snapped. “Bottom line, it saved your asses. If you don’t want me here, I don’t have to be here.”

Linda recoiled. “I wasn’t trying to—”

“Yeah, you were. Ninety-nine percent of what comes out of people’s mouths is lubricant, trying to make shit go down smoother. Anyone paying attention knows what’s really being said. You’ve been taught Dark magic is bad, wrong, and anyone who uses it is either evil or misguided, destined for a tragic end. It’s my choice, my business. Not yours. What is your business is this: I didn’t teach you or them anything that wasn’t based on the principles of Light magic. So you don’t have to worry that I’ve infected you or your coven.”