Someone Else's Life (22 page)

Rosie

I stare at her, this woman who’s squeezing me as if her life depends on it. It’s Kitty—it’s really Kitty, and yet … I need to pinch myself.

“Oh, Rosie,” she whispers, stroking my hair. “I’m not too late, thank goodness!”

Behind her, footsteps pound quickly up the stairs.

Oh, God, Holly
. Helplessly, I watch her go, Kitty’s arms tight around me.

“Sweetheart, wait!” Jack moves to chase after her, then glances back at me. “I—I’ll be right back.” He sprints upstairs as Megan stares at Kitty, her face a strange shade of gray.

“I, um …” She falters. “I have to—Ben needs—” Head bowed, she hurries from the room.

Kitty watches them go, then turns to me, my heart beating wildly as I try to take it all in.

“Rosie, sweetie.”

“I—I don’t understand …” I stare at her, still not quite able to believe she’s here. “What are you doing here?”

“Rosie—I … I just wanted to see you—
had
to see you, I …” She glances quickly at her companion. “Why don’t we sit down?”

She pulls out a chair, but I don’t sit.

“Rosie, please … let me explain, apologize … You’re my
daughter
, my—” She clutches my hand, tears springing in her eyes. “My little girl …”

My chest tightens as my own eyes prickle painfully.

“But … but when I came to see you, you said—”

“Oh, please, don’t!” she protests, her expression pained. “
Please
don’t remind me of what I said then—how I
behaved
.” She sinks miserably into a chair. “I behaved abominably, Rosie. And I’m so,
so
sorry.” She sighs, shaking her head. “I just—I have to be so careful. People come up to me all the time with outlandish stories, preposterous claims, blackmail …”

“I wasn’t trying to blackmail you!”

“I know!” she gushes, squeezing my hands. “Oh, Rosie, I know, I just—I never expected … never dreamed … after so many years …” She blinks quickly. “I hadn’t seen my daughter in
eighteen years
. I never thought I’d see you again …” She trails off, her eyes lingering on mine, filling with tears.

I sit down, numbly. “Aren’t you meant to be in Las Vegas?”

“Yes.” She nods. “Yes, I am. I’m meant to be shooting a movie there. I
was
there, but after you left—”

“After you kicked me out,” I correct her.

Her perfect features crumple in pain as she nods, tears streaking her face.

“Rosie, I can’t eat, I haven’t slept … I just keep going over and
over
it in my head. My
daughter
found me—after
eighteen years
, you found me!—and instead of welcoming you with open arms, I …” She shakes her head wretchedly. “I will
never
forgive myself, Rosie. And I won’t blame you if you tell me to leave—if you never want to see me again …” She looks at me desperately. “But I
had
to come, had to
find
you … had to
try
—I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I didn’t at least
try
—you’re my
daughter
 …”

My heart twists, her words echoing my own in New York.

“
That’s
why I’m here. That’s why I came all this way, why I’m in trouble with my director on the first day of shooting my first big movie—because there’s nowhere on this
earth
I need to be more than right here, right now—with you. My beautiful daughter.” She gazes into my eyes and my throat swells.

“And I understand if you can’t forgive me, if you tell me to go—I do …” Her lips tremble. “But more than anything in the world I would really,
really
love the chance—a second chance—to spend some time with you. To get to know you …” She takes a deep breath, bites her lip. “If you’ll let me?”

I stare at her, her green eyes mirroring mine, memories of New York fading to nothing as I recognize the undisguised hope glistening there.

“I’d like that,” I say quietly.

“Oh!” she gasps, tears spilling over as she grabs me in a tight hug. “Oh, Rosie! Thank you!”

I hug her back, this stranger with my hair, my eyes.

My mother …
, I think, my heart swelling as her perfume washes over me, exotic and intoxicating.
She came back
 … 
Again
 …

“You won’t regret it—I promise!” she gushes. “I’m going to take you for the most fabulous lunch, I know the best little seafood restaurant—you do
like
seafood?” She looks up quickly.

“Yes.” I smile.

“Wonderful! Something in common already!” Kitty beams. “Oh, you’ll love it—it’s right on the edge of Boston Harbor, the view’s incredible.”

“Boston?” I look at her, surprised.

“Yes! It’s just gorgeous, and the crab cakes are to
die
for—I hope you didn’t have too much breakfast!”

I look at her. “You mean now?
Today?
”

“Yes!” She grins. “The table’s booked for one o’clock!”

“Oh …” I think of Andy suddenly, of our day together. “Today’s a bit … a bit difficult …”

“Oh.” Her face falls. “Oh, right.” She bites her lip. “My fault—I should’ve called, shouldn’t’ve just …” She runs a hand through her perfect hair, then smiles sadly. “Never mind, next time—there’ll be a next time, right?” She looks up anxiously.

“Of course!” I smile. “How about tomorrow? Next week?”

“Oh, darling, I can’t.” She looks crestfallen. “The movie’s only given me two days off—I have to fly back tomorrow.”

“Oh.” My heart sinks. “Oh, I see. So when—”

“I’ve got a week off in March, before filming resumes,” she suggests brightly. “Maybe you could come down then?”

I stare at her.
March?
That’s two months away.

“Oh, darling, it’s my fault. I just thought, just
hoped
, that you’d be free for a couple of hours. Total presumption on my part.” She sighs.

“No,” I hear myself saying. “No, it’s okay. I can come with you.”

“Really?” Her face brightens like the sun coming out. “Oh, sweetie, you’re sure?” She grabs me in a hug. “We’re gonna have such a good time—get some lunch, go shopping—just … spend some time together.” She smiles, strokes my cheek. “I want to get to know you, Rosie.”

I look at her, her eyes so full of hope, of expectation.

I smile. “Me too.”

Holly

I slam the bathroom door and lunge for the toilet, heaving my guts out through painful, shuddering sobs.

She’s
here
? After all these years—all my life—she’s
here
?
Now?
And she’s a freaking superstar? She’s
Kitty Clare
?!

I collapse on the floor, trembling and cold, my throat sore and sour.

After all these years without so much as a birthday card—a letter!—now Rosie’s her daughter, she suddenly wants to be a mother? And where’s my mother? She’s dead! Rosie already had her and now she’s got Kitty too—
and
my dad!—And who’ve I got?
Who’s left?

As if on cue, my cell phone bleeps in my pocket and I grab for it desperately, so thankful, so relieved, that finally just when I need him most, Josh—

OMG!
Is that a STRETCH LIMO@ur house? WTF?! AWESOME!! SO JEALOUS!! Mxx

I scream, hurling the phone, smashing it against the wall, and bury my head in my hands as the tears gush uncontrollably, burning my eyes, my throat, my cheeks. She’s got everything. Rosie’s taken everything. There’s nothing left …

“Holly?” Dad knocks gently on the door and I try to swallow my sobs. “Sweetheart, are you okay? Can I come in?”

No!
I scream inside.
No! You’re a liar! You told me my mother didn’t want me
—
you told me she was dead!

“I’m in the shower!” I call, my voice horribly wobbly as I reach for the faucet and turn it on max, the water thundering in the stall.

“Holly!” He knocks again. “Holly, please!”

I close my eyes.

Leave me alone! This is all your fault! If you’d only told me about her maybe
I
would’ve gone looking for her, maybe
I
would’ve found her
—
and then she’d be here looking for
me,
not Rosie!

“Holly, talk to me!” Dad begs. “I’m gonna stand right out here until—Shit!”

Above the roaring water I hear Megan calling him from downstairs.

I close my eyes.

He knocks again. “Holly? Sweetheart, I’ll be just downstairs when you come out, when you want to talk, okay?” He sighs. “I love you.”

I hear him lean against the door, resting his weight on it for a moment before he walks away.

Figures.

I rest my head back on the wall, relieved that he’s gone, angry at myself for feeling so hurt, so disappointed that he left. He left me. Just like everyone else. My “buddy,” my “pal.” My dad.

The steam fills my head, making everything fuggy and damp as I tear off my clothes and crawl into the stall, gasping as the hot water strikes my body. I close my eyes, hugging my knees to my chest, enjoying the heat, the noise, the pain that drown out the outside world, washing it away.

Who needs Kitty with her perfect hair and expensive clothes? She couldn’t even be bothered to stick around after I was born. Who needs Trudie either? All she ever gave me was Huntington’s disease. Who needs a dead father or a dad who lies—who’s not even my real dad! And who needs a fiancé who can’t even be bothered to answer his freaking phone? A fiancé who’s always got his head buried in his books, who’s always studying, always aspiring to something bigger, something better …

… 
Than me
, I realize. We’re living in different worlds, taking such different paths.

Especially now …

I bite my lip, my tears mingling with the water streaming over my body.

And who needs children anyway … More trouble than they’re worth …

I choke on my sobs, drowning as I reach blindly for the shampoo.

I grip something sharp and drop it immediately, sucking at my stinging thumb. My blood tastes warm in my mouth. Warm and sweet and strangely comforting. I open my eyes and spot my razor lying a foot away.

Tentatively, I reach for it, the gleaming blades winking at me in the shimmering light. Gently, I run my thumb across them, watching, mesmerized, as bright fresh blood seeps from the cuts and is immediately washed clean by the gushing water, leaving two neat stinging lines. I suck my thumb again, running my tongue along the wounds, tasting their sweetness and feeling their pain. Losing my own.

I press the razor into my forearm, feeling the stinging, pulsing throb of my veins, watching my blood trickle down my arm, bright and gleaming and scarlet as it swirls away down the drain with my hurt and my pain, my arm painting itself more red with each cut—scarlet-red … rose-red … 
Rosie
 …

This is all her fault. All of it. If she hadn’t come here everything would’ve been fine. But oh, no—the blood gushes faster now—oh, no, she had to come and stir things up, had to take
everything
 … 
everyone! Both
my fathers,
both
my mothers, my brother—and even any
future
family I might have had! She’s taken everything, and what’s she left me with? Nothing!

I hold my arm out to the water, the stinging pain a relief as it washes the redness away, cleansing and purging my wounds. I touch them gingerly, running my fingers across them like I’m reading Braille.

Yes, it’s all Rosie’s fault. Little Miss DNA. She’s taken everything.

Well, maybe it’s time I took something back.

Rosie

“Don’t forget your scarf.” Kitty grins. “It’s freezing in Boston!”

I head for the stairs and nearly collide with Jack rushing down.

“Hey,” he says, spotting the open front door. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s
going on
, Jack,” Kitty says, glancing at Megan, who disappears into the living room with Ben. “I just asked Rosie if she’d like to spend the day with me, that’s all.”

“That’s
all?
” Jack laughs bitterly. “Kitty, you abandoned your daughter eighteen years ago, and now you suddenly turn up here out of the blue, and—what? You think she’s just going to drop everything and forgive you?”

Kitty blushes. “It’s not like that.”

“You’re just going to pick up where you left off?”

“No, but—”

“No, damn right you’re not! You really think after
eighteen
years—after what happened in New York—after—”

“She said yes,” Kitty says softly.

He turns to me, stunned. “Rosie?”

I shift uncomfortably.

“Rosie—how can you? After all she’s done, how can you just …”

“She’s my mother, Jack,” I say helplessly. “That’s why I came here, to find my mother.”

“Yes, and look how she treated you when you did find her!” Jack protests. “She kicked you out, Rosie, she abandoned you as a baby, she hasn’t wanted to know you for eighteen years!”

“But now I do,” Kitty says desperately. “Now I do—more than anything in the world.”

Jack snorts.

“I know what I did was wrong,” she sighs. “I was seventeen—I was scared senseless.” She bites her lip. “I know that’s no excuse, but I’m trying to make up for it now. I know nothing ever will, but …” She looks at me, smiles gently. “If Rosie can find it in her heart to give me a second chance …”

“It wasn’t just Rosie you left,” Jack says quietly.

She stares at him. “Jack …”

His jaw tenses as he stares at the coat-rack.

I gaze intently at my feet, my cheeks burning in the long silence.

“I’m sorry,” Kitty says finally. “Jack, I really am sorry.”

“Yes, well.” Jack clears his throat, runs his hand through his hair, looking anywhere but at Kitty. “Whatever our issues may be, you’re right, Rosie should come first. As you said, it’s her decision.” He looks at me again, a sad, tender look. “She’s an adult now.”

I feel awful as they both look at me, like I’m caught in the middle of a custody battle.

“Rosie?” Kitty says gently.

I look from her to Jack and back again, utterly torn. Jack’s been so good to me—I don’t want to betray him or hurt his feelings … but Kitty’s come all this way—and it’s my only chance to see her for months …

“Look, it’s okay,” Kitty sighs. “Jack’s right, it wasn’t fair of me to just turn up like this. We’ll schedule something else, some other time, let things cool down …”

“No, wait—” I cry as she turns away. “I want to come with you.”

She’s the whole reason I came all this way, after all—I can’t bear for her to walk out that door, not knowing when I’ll ever see her again.

“If that’s okay,” I add anxiously, turning to Jack. “I’ll be back later?”

“Of course.” He smiles, his eyes tired. “Of course, if that’s what you want.”

“Thank you, Jack,” Kitty says gently. “For everything.”

He looks at her for a long moment, his expression unreadable, then swallows hard.

“Just … look after her,” he says, before turning to walk away down the corridor.

“Goodbye, Jack,” Kitty whispers as he disappears.

She sighs quietly. Then she blinks quickly, takes a deep breath and turns to me.

“You ready?” She beams. “Lunch reservations await!”

I rush upstairs for my scarf, then remember Andy. Shit.

I try the bathrooms but they’re both locked, the sound of running water gushing behind the closed doors.

“Andy!” I call. “Andy, I’m really sorry, I’ve got to go—”

“I can’t hear you!” he shouts back. “I’m in the shower!”

“Andy, open the door! Andy, it’s important! I’ve got to—”

“Ten minutes!” he shouts back.

Ten minutes? I don’t have ten minutes!

Kitty’s car horn beeps outside. I swear under my breath, then run into my room and grab my notebook from my bag.

Andy
, I scribble quickly.

Kitty’s arrived
—
one day only. Have gone to Boston with her. Back tonight. Please forgive me … boat trip tomorrow?

I love you
,

Rosie xxxx

I prop the note against my pillow and rush downstairs.

The door of the limo is waiting open for me—I can’t believe the size of it! I slide onto the smooth leather seat feeling light-headed, like I’m in a dream. I’m going out for the day
in a stretch limo!
To
Boston!

I’m going out for the day
with my mother!