Somebody's Baby (13 page)

“I know.” He hung his head. “I have no excuse for my behavior, Josie. I was hurt and angry and acting like a…a—”

“Like a toddler trying to get the people around him to stop everything and do his bidding?”

Adam chuckled softly at his own expense, then his expression went somber. He shook his head. “It was wrong.
I
was wrong. Doubly so to involve your sister. I didn’t care that what we were doing would take its toll on her, the drinking, the carelessness of that temporary…relationship.”

He struggled to get the words out without offending her, without embarrassing her.

For that Josie was grateful. And she showed it by trying to lift some of Adam’s guilt. “You can’t blame yourself for my sister. She was…
careless
and prone to the
temporary
for a long time before she met you.”

“I know.” He nodded. “She has her own pain. Her own deep-seated fears. Her own longing to make the people she loves notice her, to love her in return.”

“Ophelia?” Josie had never thought of her sister that way.

Willful. Selfish. Haughty. Wild.

All of those things she had ascribed to the woman who shared her physical attributes but none of her spiritual convictions. But hurting? Fearful? Longing to be loved?

Josie had thought she alone had those feelings, that she alone deserved them. Had she really misjudged Ophelia so harshly?

The very notion rattled her to the core of her being.

“I never thought of her in that way. To me she was always Ophelia, the inspired. Ophelia, the nonconformist. Ophelia, Mom’s favorite.”

“Favorite?” Adam’s whole expression clouded. “Burke said that about me today. Called me the favored son because I came back and because I gave my father a grandchild. But if you ask me there is no reason to favor me. I’ve handled so many things so poorly. The fact that Nathan is here and healthy, that’s all you, Josie.”

“Not
all
me,” she spoke deliberately as the full measure of what her sister had done dawned on her. “Ophelia had Nathan. She carried him and chose not just to give him life but to give him a chance by bringing him to me and letting me care for him, be his mother.”

“She knew you could do it.”

Josie shook her head in awe. “That was a selfless act of pure faith, Adam. I never saw it until now. I never saw the real Ophelia until you showed her to me today.”

“Me? I can barely see beyond the tip of my own nose, Josie.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“How could you not? The whole time I’ve been in Mt. Knott I never once tried to find out about you and your family, just whined about my own.”

“You’ve been so focused on your own issues…and rightly so. I’m nothing to you…”

“That’s not true—about you being nothing to me, not about me being focused on my own issues. That, I hate to admit, is completely true.” He took her by the arms and pulled her around so that he could look her in the eyes. “But I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Actually, I think you should.”

“What?”

“Go,” she said.

“But I—”

“Please, Adam. Just give me some time to myself. I have a lot to think about
and
a lot to do.”

“I wanted to help you.”

“If you want to help me, then pray for me.”

“Okay.”

“And for Nathan,” she called as she watched him make his way to the door.

“Of course.”

“And…” She folded her hands together, knowing she had to say one more thing and yet selfishly wishing she could just leave things as they were. To ask Adam to make his priorities that simple, her and Nathan.

But now she knew there was another person out there who needed God’s love and compassion. And nothing would ever be right in their family until they faced that. “And pray for Ophelia, too.”

“Y
ou’re too young to know this, Nathan, but there is an old saying. ‘Today is the first day of the rest of your life.’” Josie lifted the baby from his crib.

She’d gotten up early. Even after staying up late into the night baking, she’d been too excited to sleep in. “This is not just the first day of the rest of my life. Except for the day that I knew for sure that I was going to be your momma, this is going to be the
best
day of the rest of my life.”

She’d made up her mind about that as she’d baked and prayed and baked and prayed some more. The more she put her situation before the Lord—Ophelia, their mother, her feelings for Adam—the more she had come to appreciate the promise of the future. And that future started with this wonderful day.

“Dada.”

“Yeah. Dada is going to be there right alongside you and me at the family barbecue. And for the first time ever I am going to be part of a family.”

Her whole life she’d wanted this. She’d dreamed of it. She’d prayed for it. Now, if only for a few sunny hours, she would know what that felt like.

“A family. I know I’ve always told you how everyone in this town, all the members of our church and all my customers who so kindly keep us in their prayers are our family, but it’s not the same.”

“Ya-ya-ya.”

“And who knows? Maybe after the Burdetts see the community the way I do, they will see that the Crumble and the Crumble Pattie are a part of
our
family as well. And together we can…” Josie raised her head half expecting to hear fife-and-drum music playing the “Battle Hymn of the Republic” or some such patriotic and inspiring tune to accompany her homage to the power of people all working for a common good. Instead she saw her baby happily making spit bubbles and motor noises.

She sighed.

“It could happen. Especially with Adam back in town and you here to stay. Those both seem like reasons enough to make it work.”

“Ya-ya-ya.”

“And then with everyone working again, my business will pick up and I’ll have enough money to finish up the adoption once and for all.
All
being me—” she poked him in the tummy to make him giggle “—you. Our own little family.”

“Dada.”

“And Dad, too, but not exactly…that is…” Josie considered not saying anymore about it.

Nathan didn’t understand, after all, and she had started the day out in such a great frame of mind. Why muddy things up trying to wade through the complexities of their family dynamic?

One day Nathan would be old enough to understand and she needed to have practiced this speech often enough that she did not botch it up when it counted the most. “Okay, here’s the deal, sweetheart. I have no idea what the deal is.”

Nathan laughed.

Josie exhaled, her shoulders slumping forward. If she were Nathan’s birth mother, if she were Ophelia, it would be different. Not easier, she realized, thinking back to the day before and her newfound empathy for her sister’s situation. If she were Ophelia, she would still have to account for her behavior.

Josie might be well on her way to a new understanding of her sister, but Ophelia still had to be accountable for her past and for the things she had done to bring Nathan into the world. Among other things, she’d have to explain to her son about not being married and about keeping Nathan’s existence a secret from his own natural father.

But from the legal end of things, if Josie
were
Nathan’s birth mother, there wouldn’t be lawyer fees and court costs to worry about. Unless Adam or his family had wanted to fight her for custody.

“If I were your birth mother, things wouldn’t really be easier, would they?” She kissed her son’s cheek. “They might be cheaper, but I can’t even say that for sure. The only thing that would be different would be that I would know that Adam was not confusing his emotions for me with his emotions for the mother of his child, because I’d be both! But as things stand now, I have no idea how to know if he really cares about me, or—”

Ding-dong.

“Pack mule at your service!” Adam nudged the front door and presented himself for her inspection.

He wore jeans with holes in the knees. Sported a faded orange-and-blue T-shirt with the old Carolina Crumble Pattie logo on it from back in the days when they had enough workers to sponsor a softball team. And squashing down his dark, gorgeous hair was a bright-green John Deere baseball cap.

“I want you to know I don’t do this for just anybody,” he said.

“Do? Do what?” She tried not to laugh outright. “Dress up like a scarecrow?”

“Haul pies. I mean it, Josie, not only am I going to a place I had wanted to avoid, and to spend time with people I had wanted to ignore, I got up early on a Saturday morning to take
pastry
to a
bakery.
If that’s not a sign of blind devotion, then I don’t know what is.”

“Blind devotion? Well, that certainly explains the way you’re dressed. No one with 20/20 vision could have put that outfit together.”

“I think I look adorable. What do you think, son?”

“Dada.” A squeal. More spit bubbles. A laugh.

“I have half a mind—”

Josie opened her mouth to second that, jokingly.

He held one finger up to silence her. “Half a mind, but a full heart.”

She sank her teeth into her bottom lip to let him know she wasn’t going to try to best that.

“Half a mind, full heart and an empty bakery truck. All of them at your disposal.”

Were his mind and heart really hers? Josie didn’t dare dwell on that question. So she asked about the safest offering. “A bakery truck?”

“Unless you have a better idea for how to transport to the Crumble enough pie to feed all of Mt. Knott.”

Josie went to the door and peered out at the truck usually seen making deliveries throughout the county, including the occasional, stealthy stop at Josie’s Home Cookin’ Kitchen.

“I had Jed and Warren and some moms in minivans each going to take as many pies as they thought they could safely transport.”

“Jed and Warren? When you counted how many pies they could ‘safely’ transport I hope you allowed for the ones that would not be ‘safe’ in their hands.” He smiled.

Josie smiled, too. She actually had planned on having a pie or two go missing during the short trip to the Crumble. Josie smiled because Adam had thought of it, too. For a guy who had only just returned to a town he purported to have held in contempt, he sure had gotten a feel for—and a good-natured regard for—the locals awfully fast.

That spoke well of the man, she thought. As someone who had moved often and under questionable circumstances, Josie had learned that often what you got out of new relationships was directly proportionate to what you put into them. That is, if you bothered to put anything into them at all. Adam
had
bothered.

Not only that, he had made connections. Clearly, he liked Warren and Jed, and they liked him. She just knew that if Adam gave everyone in Mt. Knott the same chance, they would have the same results. And then…

The rabbit-fast thumping of her heart made her nip any kind of further speculation in the bud. She narrowed her eyes at the bakery truck Adam had so sweetly put at her disposal.

“It’s not an elegant horse charging to your rescue, but then I’m more black sheep than white knight.” He gave a shallow bow followed by a brazen wink.

Sheep. Not stray dog.
Josie tried not to read too much into that, but given their talk about the Lord as a shepherd and what it meant to bring the lost lambs home, she couldn’t help but stare at the old truck and murmur, “This is better. This is much better.”

On sheer impulse she went up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.

“Much better,” he murmured, his dark eyes glittering as she stood with her face just inches from his. “Much, much better.”

“Much, much,” she whispered, lost in his eyes, not exactly sure what she had just agreed with.

He gave her an answer by returning her kiss—right on the front porch where everyone in Mt. Knott could see.

And Josie didn’t care.

The kiss was sweet and brief, but it took Josie’s breath away and left her knees wobbling. Just the way a real first kiss was supposed to.

When it ended she realized she had her hands on Adam’s shoulders. She jerked them away as if he had suddenly become hot to her touch.

He snagged her by the wrist. “Josie, I, this…this has all happened so fast for me.”

“Me, too.”

“Yeah, I know but you’ve had a little more time to get used to some of it. Suddenly I’m a father, or at least I have a child.”

“Da-da-da.” Nathan, who had been cruising around the furniture in the living room while his parents stood in the open doorway, dropped down and banged a spoon on the floor.

“You’re a father,” she assured him.

“And I’m back in Mt. Knott.”

“Believe me, I’ve noticed that.”

“And suddenly my family is having this big shindig in my honor.” He scoffed at the last word to show he felt he either did not have any honor or did not deserve for his family to treat him with it.

“It will be fun, just wait and see.”

“I’ve never been any good at waiting,” he said, stepping close.

“Think of yourself as setting a good example for your son.”

“You’ve used that on me before.”

“Parenting is a job that knows no hours and never ends. Nathan learns from us all the time. We don’t just teach him through our words but also through our actions.”

“Is that your way of saying I shouldn’t grab you up and kiss you on the spot.”

“On
this
spot,” she touched her cheek. “That’s okay, I suppose. For anything else, I think we’d better wait until after the barbecue when we can be alone to talk things through.”

“What if you don’t feel like talking to—or kissing—me after the barbecue?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know.”

Josie’s stomach tightened just a little. All these things she had been thinking of Adam, had she just come up with them because she wanted them so badly to be true? She had lived in dreams—dreams of being in a family, of having a family, of having a real home—had she lost track of the harsh realities surrounding this man?

She looked deep into his eyes.

Naw. What she saw there was no fantasy.

She shook her head. “Sometimes I think you take this man-of-mystery persona a little too seriously, Adam.”

“Me? A mystery? Why, I’m the easiest guy in the world to figure out.”

Josie sputtered out a laugh.

“I’m just a man who isn’t afraid to ask for what he wants.”

“Like you asked for your inheritance for example?”

“I was thinking more like asking for another kiss.”

She wagged her finger at him and shook her head. “Asking for what you want might work when you’re asking for a kiss that doesn’t mean anything. But when you ask for a kiss from
me,
and especially in our situation, I think you had better
ask
if you want everything that comes with it.”

“I’m…I’m not completely certain what that is.”

Josie raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Look, Josie, I don’t know exactly what will happen between us after today. That’s just flat-out reality. I do know that I would very much like for there to be an ‘after today’ for the two of us, however.”

“That’s part of the problem, Adam. There is no ‘two of us.’”

“Not yet.” He inched closer still.

“Not ever.” She gave him a light but firm shove. “There will never just be the two of us. We have Nathan to think of.”

“I don’t see how our having a good relationship can be a bad thing for Nathan.”

“It’s not,
if
we have a
good
relationship, a solid one. Those can’t be built on shaky ground.”

“Then we may be in trouble, because every time I’m near you the earth moves and I can hardly keep my footing.” He grinned.

“We have not known each other long enough for you to make a judgment like that,” she warned, even though she felt exactly the same way.

“Haven’t we? I feel as if I’ve known you a long time.”

“But you haven’t.” She held her breath a moment and considered holding back her opinion about what Adam was experiencing. But she couldn’t. He had kissed her once already and awakened all sorts of doubts in her. If they ever hoped to work through her apprehensions, they had to deal with them out in the open. “Are you sure you don’t have me confused with someone you have known longer and with much more intimacy?”

“You mean Ophelia?”

“Of course I mean Ophelia. I
am
her identical twin.”

“Her twin, sure, but identical? Not by a long shot.”

“We have the same build, basically. The same hair color, complexion and face. I suspect if you saw us together you wouldn’t be able to tell us apart.”

“Oh, yes I would. You two may
look
alike. That doesn’t mean you are alike.”

“Of course not. But given the short time you’ve known either of us…” She let him draw his own conclusions.

“I realized who you were once I saw you holding my son, Josie. Protecting him. You are his mother.” Adam brushed her hair back. He bent in close, but instead of trying to kiss her lips, he planted a kiss on her forehead. “And I can’t thank you enough for that.”

“Really?”

“And for the record I know the difference between you and your sister. I know you, Josie. I don’t know Ophelia. I’m ashamed to have to admit it but I never really knew her, any more than I think she knew me. That’s one of those things people who ridicule Christian values never get around to mentioning when they make it seem that satisfying every animal urge is normal and healthy.”

“What?”

“They don’t tell you how lonely that kind of encounter can leave you, how empty. How like a wounded animal, a—”

“A stray?”