Some Like It Perfect (A Temporary Engagement) (6 page)

Gus blinked at him. Then she studied him, like she’d never thought before of what he must think of their mother. Of what his mother retreating from the world had meant for him.

She said, “No,” and he nodded.

“Then you need to find a job. If you would like one here, Ms. Charles can find something for you to do.”

Gus grimaced. “I don’t want to make your coffee and schedule your meetings.”

“I was thinking janitorial services. You have no experience, no education. A college degree does come in handy if you aspire to more than emptying the garbage.”

Delia cleared her throat loudly.

Jack stopped and leaned back in his chair. He exhaled loudly, then said quietly, “Sorry.”

Gus grinned at him. “I really do like her.”

Jack thought it was going to take some effort to transition from older brother to peer. But he looked at the grin on her face, at the humor she could see in the situation, and thought he might like Gus as an adult.

He was never going to like that name.

“You can go down to HR. See what they have available that you’re qualified for.”

She looked down at her clothes. “Not like this. And I’m hungry. I didn’t have any money for breakfast.”

“Your boyfriend couldn’t help you?”

She glared at him and he said, “Is that something two adults can’t talk about?”

She raised her eyebrows. “He didn’t have any money, either.”

Of course he didn’t. Jack might not agree with his mother that the only thing the boy wanted from Gus was her money but her lack of it would certainly put a damper on things.

Jack said, “I’ll take you to lunch.”

“What about Delia? She likes to eat.”

They both looked up to find Delia looking down at them again and she gave Gus a startled look. “Uh. . . No. Thanks.”

Jack said, “Yes. She can come.” If Delia was there it would save him from being alone with his sister when she looked like she’d spent the night doing things he didn’t want to think about. With Delia there he could pretend it was part of her Halloween costume.

And Delia wouldn’t hesitate to point it out to him when he was treating Gus like his little sister instead of an adult.

Gus said, “Let me go fix my makeup first,” and Jack was glad he hadn’t said anything about it.

She grinned up at Delia. “I’ll use the bathroom down the hall like the rest of the workers.”

Delia watched Gus walk out the office door without slamming it. She murmured, “You’re good.”

“She’s in shock. It’ll wear off.”

“And how are you doing?”

He sat back, leaning in his chair so he could see her without putting a crick in his neck. “I’m wondering when the other shoe will drop.”

“It’ll be when the newness wears off and she realizes the real world sucks.”

He chuckled and she pulled away from the side until he couldn’t see her anymore.

She said, “I’m going to work through lunch. But thanks for the offer.”

“It’s not an offer, you’re going.”

She laughed.

He said, “You wanted to stay and see the show. It’s not over yet.” When she still didn’t say anything, he said, “And you like to eat, remember? Don’t you want to come and clear your throat at me a few more times?”

“Are you going to use your expense account?”

“No. I’m going to pay for it with my ill-gotten gains.”

She peeked over the side again, her eyes narrowed, her lips pinched together. He looked at her, expressionless.

“I’m in an expansive mood, Delia. Come and enjoy it because it doesn’t happen often. I won’t even expect a thank you after.”

“Just this once.”

He smiled, remembering she hadn’t slammed his door since she’d said that last time.

She pointed her finger at him. “And stop doing that.”

“What?”

“Smiling!”

“I will refrain.”

She sighed and crawled to the ladder. “Good.”

Justine wanted to vomit.

She’d waited and she’d waited. Waited to meet someone, waited for them to make a move, waited for them to suggest moving in together, take it to the next step. And it had never happened.

She didn’t wait in her career. Didn’t wait for her boss to tell her what a good job she was doing, she told him. Reminded him constantly of all she brought to the company. How she made his life easier, how she made the bottom line better. Why she deserved the promotion, the raise. And reminded him that if he couldn’t keep her happy, there were other places, other bosses, that would.

So, why couldn’t she do the same in her personal life?

Because she didn’t believe it. She didn’t know how she made life easier for Paul. She didn’t know
if
she made life better for him.

And she didn’t know that there would be anyone else who could keep her happy if Paul didn’t.

They’d been dating exclusively for months. It was time to take it to the next step.

She couldn’t wait for him to decide they were ready. She was going to tell him.

She pushed at her stomach, hoping she could do it without losing her lunch. She hoped she could do it without hearing him say he disagreed.

She carried a bag of sandwiches across Paul’s floor and smiled at the workers burning the midnight oil. There were a few desks with cobwebs on the side, one with a giant spider trying to climb out of a drawer, but no one had dressed up for Halloween. No one had dressed up in her office either and Justine knew she wouldn’t get any trick-or-treaters.

There weren’t any children in her building. None that she knew of, at least.

She knocked on Paul’s door and pushed it open.

She smiled and he smiled back, and she felt guilt that she’d thought about getting pregnant accidentally on purpose to keep him. She felt guilt that the idea was still swimming in the back of her mind, whispering to her how easy it would be.

So easy. Just have a little accident. Just be a little forgetful. And she could have the family she’d been waiting for. She’d waited so long.

Paul stood, walking around the desk to kiss her. He took the bag, peeking inside. “Thanks, honey. You know you don’t have to do this.”

He put the bag down on his desk and pulled her against him.

She went to him smiling, all the while wanting to scream at him.
See, see! Don’t you want this? Why don’t you want this!

Justine took a deep breath. “I know. But you’ve been so busy.” She ran her hand down his lapel. “Your suits are starting to swim on you.”

He laughed, digging into the bag with one hand. “If only that were true. But all this time sitting, along with all the muffins they keep around this place, and I know that you are just being kind.”

She took the bag from him, pulling out napkins and laying them out on the desk as plates.

She’d wait until he was full and happy, she had learned a thing or two about men in the last eighteen years, and then bring up moving in together.

He took a big bite of sandwich and she blurted, “I think we should move in together.”

He froze, his cheeks full of meatballs, and she squeezed her eyes shut. “I mean, I like you. I think we should think about moving in together.”

She heard him chew slowly and gulp. She kept her eyes closed.

“Honey, I like you, too. I don’t know if now is the time to move in together, though. I’m so busy I can hardly think.”

She opened her eyes and he wasn’t looking at her as if he wanted to run screaming.

She said, “I know you’re busy. We hardly get to see each other and I thought maybe this would help with that. There would be some time together, even if it was just sleeping in the same bed.”

He smiled and touched her wrist. “I could get behind sleeping in the same bed.”

“What if we just moved in together on the weekends? We can alternate between your place and mine. We can trade keys.”

“Is that okay with Delia? You do have a roommate to think about.”

“I already asked her.”

His nodded slowly, walking around the desk to sit in his chair, and her stomach knotted again.

He said, “Can we talk about this in a few weeks?”

She nodded. She took a small bite of chip and her mouth opened again. “I’m thirty-six.”

Paul blinked. “Okay.”

“You don’t know what that means, do you?”

He shook his head slowly. “Is your birthday coming up? Did I miss it?”

She laughed a little and was horrified that it sounded wet and teary.

“It means I’m high risk. If I got pregnant this second, I would be a high-risk pregnancy. And the older I get, the less chance I can get pregnant at all.”

“Uh. . .”

She laughed again at the fear in his voice and this time she had to wipe her nose. “I’m not saying I want to get pregnant right now. But I need to know that we could be heading that direction. That we could have a future together and it’s just not for fun. I can’t do just for fun anymore. I don’t have
time
.”

She put her head in her hands and muttered, “And this is why men date younger women.”

Because younger women could have fun. Their ovaries didn’t scream at them every month.
Last chance, final call, get a fucking move on
! They could afford to wait, like she’d done, until they couldn’t wait anymore. And then they were too desperate for any man to want them.

She couldn’t stop the tears from falling and she said through a tight throat, “I don’t know if I want kids with you. And it sounds horrible and cold and calculated, and why you’d even think of sticking around after this I have no idea, but if I have to scratch you off the list I have to do it sooner rather than later.”

“You have to know right this second?”

“Don’t you know right this second? Don’t you know if you want a wife and a family someday? It doesn’t have to be with me. But do you want that at all?”

He watched one tear slide down her cheek and said, “Yes?”

“Yes?”

“I’ve always assumed that I would get married and have kids. That’s what you do.”

She took a deep breath and swiped at the tear.

He said, “I don’t know if I’m ready for that
now.
I don’t have time for dinner; I don’t have time for kids.”

“Do you think that ever changes? That we’ll ever be less busy?”

He looked at the stack of folders on his desk. “I hope so. This isn’t sustainable. And it would be a lot easier if kids just happened the old fashioned way. Accidentally, followed by a shotgun wedding, followed by a chiseling out of time for them.”

Justine blinked wildly and her mouth fell open. She stopped herself at the last minute from telling him she’d been thinking about doing just that. She’d scared him enough for today.

He said, “I don’t know if I’m ready for kids. You don’t know if you want them with me. But it’s not no, Justine.”

Her eyes widened. “Yes, exactly! It’s not a yes, yet. But it’s not a no.”

“But if it’s going to be no, you want to get there as quickly as possible.”

Everything inside her settled. Her stomach calmed down, her shoulders relaxed. He understood.

She smiled at him. “Yes.”

“You do know that was extremely romantic. The most romantic relationship talk I’ve ever had.”

She laughed at his sarcasm. “I’ve told you before that I’m not romantic.”

“That’s all right. I’ve never thought romantic was what I wanted.”

“What do you want?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve only seen what I didn’t want.”

She didn’t ask because she didn’t want to know but he said, “I haven’t seen what I didn’t want in you.”

“Now,
that
is the most romantic relationship talk
I’ve
ever had.”

“We’re a pair.”

She took a deep, deep breath and kept on smiling. They just might be a pair.

He took another bite of his sandwich and said, “My place this weekend?”

Warmth bloomed in her stomach and it seemed like cotton balls were suddenly stuffed into her ears. She couldn’t hear anything but her blood pumping through her veins.

She nodded quickly before he could take it back.

He said, “We’ll chisel out some time to make keys for each other this weekend. But right now I’ve got to get back to work if I want to go home tonight.”

She stood, gripping her purse. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then. I’ll bring dinner over to your place tomorrow night?” When he nodded, she grimaced, “I will have work to do this weekend.”

He laughed. “Good. Because that’s exactly what I’ll be doing.”