Some Great Thing (41 page)

“Right on! Are you the Dean?!”

“Have you seen Kwyet?!”

“Right again, Mr. Dean!”

“See you!”

“Hi!”

“Excuse me!”

“Simon!”

“Hi! I am still looking for Kwyet!”

“Have you met anyone?!”

“Yes!”

“Cool!”

“Where are the other rooms?!”

“Cool!”

“What?! Where are the other rooms?”

“All of them! The whole floor! This is the biggest! Go into any room!”

“Really?!”

“Totally! That’s the fun part! Surprise! Ha ha ha! Let’s look in this one! Come on! I heard they’ve got a bong going! Whoo, Tony! Lookin buff! Excuse us! Hey! Whoo! Excuse us! In here! Whoo!”

“It smells like Morocco!”

“Totally!”

“I don’t think she would be in here!”

“You don’t know her! Look! Whoo! I know that guy! I know you! You’re one of my profs! Hey, Simon! Talk to him! He’s a prof! This is Simon!”

“Hi!”

“Chatty! Don’t be shy, boys! Hey! You gave me a D!”

“Sorry!”

“Totally!”

“I might go look for Kwyet! Excuse me!”

“Sure! I’m going to see if I can’t get my mark changed!”

“Bye!”

“Bye!”

“Where can I get a drink?!”

“There’s a keg down the hall!”

“Thank you! Excuse me!”

“Make way for the Dean, everybody!”

“That’s not the Dean!”

“Yes it is!”

“He’s going for the keg!”

“Go for it, Mr. Dean!”

“The Dean’s a woman!”

“No he’s not, he’s going for the keg!”

“Excuse me! How do I …?!”

“Grab a cup! Help yourself!”

“Thank you! Like this?! Thank you! Do you know Kwyet, the girl, Kwyet?”

“Sure!”

“Have you seen her this evening?!”

“Yeah!”

“Where?!”

“Dancing! She was dancing with the boys!”

“Which boys?!”

“That’s right!

“Where is the dancing?!”

“Down there! Fourth room along!”

“Thank you! Cheers!”

“Cheers!”

“See you! Excuse me!”

“Make way for the Dean!”

“Excuse me!”

“Where you going, Mr. Dean?!”

“Dancing!”

“Whoo! The Dean
is
a woman!”

“Ha ha!”

“Whoo!”

“Cheers!”

boom, Bom. boom, Bom. boom, Bom. boom, Bom. b-boww, b-boww, b-boww, b-boww, b-boww, b-boww, b-boww, b-boww, b-boww, b-boww, b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b, b-boww, b-boww, b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b, b-boww, b-boww, b-boww, b-boww, b-boww. Pssht pssht pssht pssht. Pssht pssht pssht pssht. How does it feel, to treat me like you do?

“DO YOU KNOW KWYET?!”

“WHOO-OO! IS … IP … CHA … WAY! YOU-OO”

Pssht pssht pssht pssht. Pssht pssht pssht pssht
.

“DANCE, BUDDY! DANCE! YOU CA … IF … ZI … ONTOE … ZI … YEAH HA HA!”

Tell me how, do I, feel. Tell me now, how do I feel. Pssht pssht pssht pssht. Pssht pssht pssht pssht
.

“SIMON!”

“KWYET!”

‘I’VE BE … LOOK … FU!”

“I’VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE!”

“WHA … TI … SIT!”

“PARDON!”

“TIME!”

“HEY, TEACH, YOU STOLE MY GIRL!”

“EXCUSE ME!”

booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh. booh booh booh booh booh booh booh
booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh booh

“HANG ON! WAI …! KWYET!”

“SOR … SIM … HE ISN’T … I’LL … WHEN WE GO!”

“WHAT?”

‘ “WHOO-HOO!”

T
HE NEXT NIGHT WOULD
be better. Quieter.

The desperate flesh of Simon had ripened to the verge of rotten.

“D
O YOU TRUST ME
, Kwyet?”

“Trust?”

“I suppose it’s not trust I am getting at exactly. Do you know me?”

“I …”

“It’s an odd question to ask you over your pork. Is it nice?”

“I finished it.”

“Yes, mine is good. ‘Do you know me’—that’s not what I meant at all. Let’s just chat.”

“Yes.”

“Pork is difficult to do properly. The balance between overcooked and trichinosis.”

“My mother would kill me if I got trichinosis.”

“Ha ha.”

“H
AVE ANOTHER COGNAC WITH
me?”

“No thanks.”

“Sure?”

“No.”

“You will have another?”

“Will I?”

“Yes. Do.”

“Thanks.”

“I could suggest anything to you, couldn’t I?”

“Could you?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“There are quite a few of them, though. Aren’t there?”

“What?”

“Suggestions.”

“Where?”

“Here. Between us. Generally. I believe there are.”

“I think your cognac’s coming.”

“K
WYET
, I … I
MAY
have another. Will you?… I … No?… I thought … I was hoping … I’m sorry—I feel as though I have been talking too much … Chatting, yes, but too much, and not enough, never what I want … I don’t know what you were hoping about tonight, but I should say, I thought I might say that I would … Thank you, and perhaps the bill please … I wanted to tell you that perhaps I could help you in some way, and what I mean by that is not … Do you consider me paternalistic?… Uncle, yes, ha ha … I could perhaps come and visit you more often, and get to know you, in a, I remember, I, so fondly remember those days in the park with you and your mother, with you primarily, and really, there is no reason … Did you?… Yes, you still call it homework do you, how sweet, yes, I would be happy to … And that is what I mean, to visit more often, have those meaningful, delicious … My cognac? Delicious, thanks. Would you?… No?… I’m … You don’t look tired, really, you are so, so … But let’s go, yes … I would like to give you something, see you more, perhaps, I love running after, you see, but, I wonder, in my experience, the balance … Like pork?… Yes, ha ha. So you understand?… No, well, I’m not making myself clear, but I am not sure that I want to … This is your coat, yes?… Let me … I thought I might walk you back to your room … I’m not tired, no … It’s only ten minutes and we can chat … It’s probably
just the cognac—you don’t look tired. I, certainly, drank the last too quickly … Anyway, I must tell you … I know I am sounding a bit serious, and … ha ha, yes, lovely … It is dark, isn’t it … Run, yes, I thought you said you were tired … Yes. Hey! Run! Ha ha! Wait! Ha!… Oof!… No, no, I’m all right—crack in the sidewalk … Run … Run … Be careful … Run … Run … Please come back … Pardon?… No, I said …! No, it’s fun … I was only … I will catch up, no, do, I will catch you before your room, and, and, chat … Run! Ha!… And tell you, Kwyet, and have you, Kwyet, I can grit these teeth, kiss your teeth, bite the rust from my lips, Kwyet, if you, will you … Hello!… No!… You’re coming back, how nice!… Ha ha … No, no, I will walk you, it’s still another, still far, and it’s dark, I’ll just see you to your door or what have you … ‘What have you,’ yes, silly expression … Let’s just, let me just say, Kwyet, that, oh, you are all out of breath … It’s nice, lovely, that’s, that’s what I was going to say, Kwyet, you are, when you are out of breath and when you are not, you are … No, really, I am not tired at all, I enjoy the walk—honestly—and it is really such a pleasure to be walking with you, to be alone with you finally, please, let’s keep walking. I might, I might walk you to your room, if that’s … No … Sorry … Walk ahead if you like, yes, do … God, you look … What?… Did I?… I didn’t say anything, mumbled, maybe, I think walking, the fresh air is certainly a good idea for me, after a meal like that, sign of age … Age … I wasn’t the oldest person at that party last night, did you notice? Not by any means was I the oldest, there was a, a Professor of Some Description who could only be described as old, and I assure you that it wasn’t age that drove me from the party, finally, it was really just a sense, do you know, in certain situations one realizes one has little to contribute, little to offer to enhance the situation and one clams up, rather, and also, of course, you were dancing, so, you were dancing with all the younger, perhaps that was age after all, do you, I won’t ask that, well, do you think of me as old, older than you?… Ha ha … That’s, that is, you are very, on top of everything,
you are a very funny … Are we? Oh, yes, there it is … No, no, certainly I will walk you all the way, no, no, it is good for me, and, it is a shame there is no common room or something of the sort, a place to have a nightcap, up there, near your, near all the rooms, but, I suppose at least it is good, you must be grateful, that you yourself have no roommate, it really must feel private … Mmm … There’s something, there is something I wanted to talk to you about this evening, I don’t know whether you, whether I should have mentioned it earlier, nothing serious, more interesting, really, more, I don’t know whether you are keen to chat a bit longer, I know I have chatted too much, but … Yes, here we are, I’ll just, oh, no, there is no security, no one at the front desk, good thing, ha ha, good thing you have had an escort, yes, I wonder, is that unusual, no one there?… Yes, I’m sure it is perfectly safe, but I will just make sure, I will see you to your room then, no one around at all, how strange, I will just, I have never seen your room … I’ve wondered, I have thought you must be keen on getting your own place, apartment, but perhaps it is perfectly nice, your room … I don’t mind a climb, no, no, but there is an elevator, why not take … One floor?… No, honestly, all in the spirit of walking off spirits, I am keen, I am grateful, really, lead on, I have nothing, I certainly have nothing to return to, I … No, I will go home later, if you don’t mind, I would really like to see your room, and talk to you about something … Steep climb, isn’t it? Let me … Is this the floor … Broom cupboard … No … Yes, soldier on … Yes … Yes … Let me, is this the floor? Let me hold the door for you, here, here, lead on, this way, is it?… You really don’t look, you do not look tired … Well, yes, but I assure you, you at least don’t look tired … This is your room here, is it, yes, well, Kwyet, well, Kwyet, if I could just, oh, Kwyet, yes, what?… Perhaps if I could just say … Let me help you with your coat … Yes … God, Kwyet, you are so beautiful … Kwyet, if I could just, please, Kwyet, God, Kwyet … I, we could, just a, please, Kwyet, hold, please hold still, I just … Why … I thought you said come here, I thought all of this … You just aren’t sure, that’s all,
because, if you try to run, I, I want to run, you see, Kwyet, none of this, that’s the window, you’re not … Why?! Why do you keep inviting me?! What am I supposed to think?’ … I’m not coming closer, just, please, you are so … Stay!… Calm down … Please … I’m not pushing … Come away from the window, please … I’m not pushing … I only want

“I
ONLY WANTED TO
keep you away from my mother. You keep following us, Simon. Please, just, stay, away.”

SO I SAID TO
her, I said, listen, I said, Kwyet, I said, Kwyet, I said (the eager chasseur), I want, I said, to run. My little humming Quiet, my little thread of Kwyet, a birdbreeze lower than a breath said Come, she said, or so I had imagined, Come she said, Here I am
.

She said nothing, but I took her to mean much, as she ran more than walked, cowered more than curved up the stairs through the door by the window
.

I want to run, I said, but None, I said, of this Come here. My goose was bumped all over from the breeze of disquieting breath; to run was my need, not my wish. I was prepared to get song-of-songsy, all hinds and harts and panting, to sing with her as we ran. But when I was there, when I was right there with her, there was nothing but quiet: an open window and an invitation. Come, she says, here I am
.

S
HE FELL ALL THAT
way to the ground.

T
HE LITTLE MONKEY SMILING
through my window. He ran away and I didn’t chase him. Flower in the snow. More than a flower in the snow, my friend, it was a smile from the God of Yes, the God of White, the Man in Black, the shy, shy welcome of deep and dark and sweet, my friend, I don’t know, I tell you, I do not know what I mean, but look at that smile and hope.

I did not chase him, no, I went home, changed, had a beer for several months, I even, you know, dieted, exercised, got back to work, birth of a new world, patience, hope, light beer, moistening my bones, and then:

The doorbell rang and I thought Paperboy? and I opened the door to Jer. I told you this already.

“Jer!” I said.

“Hi, Dad,” he said, and came in.

I knew it was my job to be cool. “How are ya, Jer,” I said, cool.

And he said, “How are ya.”

And I said, “Beer?”

And he said, “Yeah.”

And I went to the fridge and came back with a couple.

He was still standing there in front of the door, and we clinked them together, me and Jer, and no two beers in the history of man were sucked back faster, I tell you with no shame. We finished at the same time.

“Another!” I said.

And he said, “Yeah.” So I came back with two more.

“Come in. Sit down. Come in.”

He had a knapsack on his shoulder full of his father’s hope. I couldn’t ask if he was going to stay. He sat down over there, across from me.

“How are ya, Jer?” I said.

“OK,” sip of beer, “OK … You?”

“OK. Beer?” I said, and he said, “Yeah,” and I got another case from the basement and put it in the fridge.

“So, you’ve been OK, eh, Jer?”

“Yeah. OK enough.”

“You look thin.”

“Yeah.”

“Healthy?”

“Yeah.”

“You hungry?” Too early, too early.

“No.”

“Me neither.”

“
You
look thin,” he said, after a while.

“I’ve been on a diet,” I said.

“Yeah?”

“Yep. Twenty pounds.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep … I know the guy who makes this beer.”

And he said, “Yeah?”