Some Day Somebody (52 page)

“But they weren’t murdered!” Lauren said, her large brown eyes pooling with tears. “That man murdered Toto! He died right there, on the back porch.”

“And then
he
died, right there in the street. In front of the house,” Gretchen pointed out.

Carrie’s heart pounded, trying to pump blood back into the half of her body that felt drained. She let her head fall back on her shoulders, too exhausted to hold it up, anymore. “This is my life, girls. This is my future...
our
future...someplace better for me.”

“Just because it’s different, doesn’t mean
it’s
better,” Lauren said.

“And that doesn’t mean it’s better for us,” Gretchen added.

“I have legal guardianship of the both of you,” Carrie said, using her big gun. “You will live with me. End.
Of.
Story.”

Gretchen’s chin lifted. “Dad said we can choose, because we’re old enough now. And we all choose Gardiner.”

“Besides,” Lauren said, crying in earnest now, beginning to shake. “You promised me. You said if things didn’t work out, you’d stop seeing Mr. Sam.”

Carrie felt the color drain from her face, imagined the small crack in the foundation of her world widening. “This is not a matter of things not working out with Sam. He was with me through all of this. He never let me down. You three like Sam and his kids...don’t try to tell me you don’t.”

“If you hadn’t moved here, Toto would still be alive,” Lauren sobbed. “And I believed you when you said you wouldn’t choose your
boyfriend
over us. I should have known better.”

Carrie collapsed into her chair at the last statement, seeing her future crumble around her. She let her head fall back against her shoulders and pressed the heel of her hands to both eyes. How could she find the words to argue with them? How could she blame her children for feeling this way, when she didn’t know if she could ever set foot on that porch again? It had been torture to leave Lucas there the previous night. He’d sniffed the floor where Toto had died and gazed up at her with those sad eyes, almost as if he’d known. At the time, it had felt as though he blamed her for Toto’s death. Now she knew her kids did, too.

She gazed across at them, her eyes pleading, and made one last ditch effort to change their minds. “Please, kids. I’m begging you. Please give this a chance.”

Grant and the twins exchanged looks with each other then turned toward her, shaking their heads.

Carrie took two deep breaths and released the last one, shakily. She ran her hands through her hair and sat up straight. “All right, then. You win,” she said. “No more Kenton. No more Sam.” She stood, suddenly feeling much older, and a lot less independent. “Pack your things. Everything you’ll need for the weekend. We’re going back to Gardiner tonight.” She reached for the door handle, and paused, suddenly angry at the situation, at them, at herself, for falling for Sam when her life was one, big question mark. But, anger was good. Anger would help her get through the next five minutes.

“Make damn sure your stuff’s packed by the time I get back. I’ll only be a few minutes.”

“Where are you
goi
—” Lauren began.

“Shut up, dumb ass!” Grant hissed, cutting off his sister.

Carrie tensed and threw open the door, stared out toward Sam standing on his porch...waiting for her. “Whatever’s not in the car or truck by the time I get back will stay here until everything else gets moved.” She stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

Sam watched her approach, feeling his stomach tighten and knot, knowing he wouldn’t like what she had to say. She walked up the sidewalk, determined in her purpose, her jaw tight with anger and hurt. “Ah hell, here it comes,” he murmured softly to himself.

She marched up his steps and stopped directly in front of him. “We have to talk.”

He nodded, reaching for her shoulder. “Let’s go inside where it’s warm.”

“No,” she said, avoiding his touch.

“Carrie...”

“I’m moving back to Gardiner.”

“Talk to me.”

“They don’t want anything to do with this place, Sam. Not the house, or the school, or the town or...” she faltered here, but caught her stride again as she finished in an icy tone. “Or anyone in it.”

He wasn’t surprised, especially after speaking to her kids when they’d first arrived.  He didn’t like it, but at least he’d had time to think of alternative methods of keeping their relationship intact. “Babe,” he said, placing his hands firmly on her shoulders. “It’ll be okay. I’d rather have you here, but at least we’ll see each other every day at work. We’ll survive until the weekends get here.”

“I made them a promise, Sam. If things didn’t work out between us...all of us...I’d walk away.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, Carrie. An hour is not that far, and I’m willing to do all the driving.”

“No, Sam.”

He stopped and caught his breath.  “What are you saying?”  

“I’m saying,” she stopped to swallow, to steel herself. “I can’t choose you over my children. It’s over.”

His breath rushed out at the two words he knew were capable of blowing his world apart. He’d been through this before, and damned if he wasn’t going through it again. “You can’t be serious.”  He nearly laughed at the lameness of his reaction, knowing she was dead serious.

“I am. And if you were in my shoes you’d do the same thing, you know you would.”

“I would stop to consider what I’d be giving up, I can promise
you
that.” His shock morphed into indignation, then fury...Fury that deflated when he saw the tremble of her chin.

“You don’t think I know what I’m giving up?” she asked, turning her gaze on him. “I’m giving up everything. I’ve done it once before for my kids, and I guess I’ll have to do it again. It’ll hurt like hell, but we’ve both been through worse than this and lived through it. But, I am sorry. I don’t want to do this.”  Having used up her reserve of anger, she allowed one tortured sob to escape. She covered her mouth with her hand, before attempting to turn away from him.

Sam caught her by the arm and turned her back to face him. “Then don’t Carrie, come on Baby.”

“Sam, stop it,” she said, looking down as she pushed away from him, her hands fisted and unyielding.  She stopped then, opened her hands as she raised her gaze to meet his, and then placed one hand on his face. “If you had to choose between me and your children, you would choose your children, don’t tell me you wouldn’t.”

He caught her hand in both of his. “It doesn’t sound much like a choice. It sounds like an ultimatum, bordering on blackmail.”

“Maybe it is, but my children’s feelings are no less important than ours. I have to go, Sam.” She pulled her hand free and turned away from him.

“Carrie, please don’t do this.”

Carrie rushed away from Sam in a brisk walk-run back to her place. She threw the door open and barked at her children. “Girls, get in my car. Grant! I want Lucas riding inside the truck with you.”

“He’s
gonna
smell up the truck.”

“Too bad.
His foot’s hurt and he won’t be able to keep his balance back there.” She stopped in front of her girls. “Didn’t I tell you two to get in the car?” 

“I need my radio—”

She pointed to the doorway.
“Now!”

As her kids scrambled to the door, Carrie rushed to her bedroom closet. She threw two pair of jeans and some blouses in a shoulder tote, along with her makeup kit and a few other items. Hoping to avoid a confrontation with Sam, she locked up and jumped inside her car.

“Can we ride with Grant while Lucas rides with you?”

Not bothering to look at the twin who’d asked the insensitive question, she forced her voice to remain calm. “I don’t think so, now sit your butts down and buckle up.”

Carrie drove in silence, gripping the steering wheel so hard her hands turned numb. Every mile that took her further from Sam made the gnawing pain in her chest grow worse. Every minute away from him weakened her resolve not to cry. By the time she pulled into Dave’s driveway, her heart ached, knowing how badly she’d left him hurting.

She pulled the trunk latch and got out to help her girls with luggage, only to find it empty. Remembering how she’d rushed them, she turned to the twins. They stood with their magenta and pink duffle bags, looking hesitant.

“I guess that’s all you had time to pack. Sorry, but I had to get out of there.”

“Mom—”

“Love you,” she said, embracing Gretchen even as she cut her off. She released her and pulled Lauren close for the same kind of hug. “Love you, too.”

Carrie walked over to meet Grant, who’d pulled up seconds after her. “Love you, son,” she said, her voice tight with the need to cry as she hugged him also.

“Mom—”

She raised her hand to shush him and turned to give Lucas a grateful scratch behind the ears. “Good boy.” She turned toward her still running car. “Be sure and tell your dad I said thanks, and that Lucas will be fine in a few days.”

Sam awoke
to the ringing telephone. A double dose of nighttime pain reliever had cured his headache, but hadn’t done a thing for the hollow ache in his chest. He’d slept fitfully, dreaming and waking several times during the night. He rubbed his hands over his eyes, willing the damn ringing to stop. The only person he cared to talk to wouldn’t be calling him.

By the time he noticed the ringing had quit, Nick had opened his bedroom door. “If it’s not Carrie, I’m not here,” Sam told his son.

Nick’s eyes widened as he shoved the phone to his father. “I’m not telling her that. It’s Carrie’s Mom.”

Sam sat up slowly and reached for the phone. “Ms. Elaine?”

“Well, thank God somebody is answering their phone. Carrie sure as hell won’t. Is it out of service again?” Elaine asked, sounding more annoyed than frantic.

“No, ma’am, it’s working. She’s not there.”

A moment of quiet preceded her next comment. “Look Sam, I know my daughter is all grown up, but if your intentions toward her aren’t honorable, I may have to go slap you around a little.”