Solomon's Porch (2 page)

“Belief alone does not make one a humble servant of God, Panos, but you are stronger than you know, and more valuable to the Lord than you could possibly imagine. The time has come for you to begin your service to Christ.”

Peter realized Gabriel was reading his mind, answering his unspoken thoughts. He trembled at the idea of being in the presence of such power.

“My God,” Peter cried out. “Who are you and what do you want from me?”

“As for me, St. Luke and Daniel can tell you enough. As for you, Panos, that is why I am here. For you. The Lord, your God wants to reveal Himself, to convey His message.”

Then Gabriel raised his right arm and passed it over Peter Carson, like a priest giving a blessing. Instantly Peter was transported to another realm, to a place unlike anywhere on earth. He became the reluctant recipient of a direct communication from the Immortal One.

Peter was completely surrounded by this new reality and given a three hundred and sixty degree view of what the Lord wanted him to see.

Out of the swirling darkness he heard a Voice, one with an authority unlike any other, call out, “Feed My Children!” As these words were spoken, Peter was set upon by people on every side, most barely alive, all starving and emaciated. As they touched him, Peter felt their hunger, their intense misery. He experienced himself dying with them, suffering along with each one of them individually.

He looked down and saw that he too was now nothing more than a decaying bag of flesh and bones. An all encompassing malaise came over him. The agony of his hunger was very real and acute. Peter was starving to death.

Peter thought, all of these souls, mostly people with brown or black skins, where did they come from? Why are they all trying to touch me? What do they want from me? How can I possibly help them?

Then, as quickly as it came, the scene vanished. For a second, the whirlwind of the vision ceased and Peter looked at his body. He was back to his previous self once more, healthy and well fed.

But before he had the chance to catch his breath (was he still breathing?), the Voice was speaking again.

This time He said, “Heal My Children!” Suddenly, again on all sides, Peter found himself within another sea of suffering humanity. This group was just as wretched as the first. Everyone here was sick, dying of one malady or another: AIDS, cancer, heart disease, dysentery, malaria, hepatitis, the list was endless. As they touched him, somehow he knew what was killing each and every one of them, and he felt their agony.

Peter’s body became a ravaged open sore, wracked with pain beyond description. The spirits before him now were male, female, young, old, white, Asian, black; they were indeed everyone.

When he was sure that he too was dead (and wished that he was), the vision once again terminated and serenity was restored. Peter Carson’s body reverted back to “normal,” although he was now persuaded that normal would never be the same for him again.

As he heard the Voice speak for a third time, Peter was resigned to the experience. He knew that whatever was coming next, he had no choice but to endure.

The command now was, “Stop My Children!” A tangled and bloody mass of wounded bodies reached out for Peter, all of them injured by the instruments of violence: some were stabbed, others shot, and many had been beaten. All were hurting and dying, and as in the other visions, so was Peter. He felt the trauma of a bullet ripping through his gut, the horror of a blade being stuck in his back, the ghastly sensation of having his head bashed in by a brick.

These encounters were very real and also, blessedly, brief. However impossible, he was experiencing what each of these people were experiencing, both their physical and emotional anguish.

Once again, the torment ended. Peter was still in one piece. He wondered how much more of this he could stand before he went insane. Was he already insane? He thought he must be.

For a fourth time the Divine Voice spoke and said, “Change My Children!” The suffering mass of flesh returned, but their torment now was different.

Peter saw children being cursed, abused, and neglected; people condemning, judging, and berating one another; blacks being called niggers, women being called bitches and whores, Asians and Africans treated as slaves, ministers of God preaching hate. This exposure to man’s inhumanity seemed to have no end, and it sickened him to the very center of his soul.

Peter realized that this last vision was by far the most horrible of them all. God let Peter see, let him feel, just how cruel and hateful man can be toward his brother and how little love and mercy is shown to so many in need.

As the last message closed it was Peter’s heart, rather than his body, that was broken and this wound did not heal at the vision’s end. God had gone to a great deal of trouble to teach Peter Carson that man’s free will decision to be disobedient, unmerciful, and unforgiving was the root cause of all his suffering.

The Lord made it known to Peter that if man would truly love his brother, as Christ commanded him to do, nothing would be impossible for him.

Still existing in this other place that God had taken him, Peter was now bathed in an intense white light. A milder, kinder, but still authoritative Voice asked, “How much longer must My children suffer, Panos?”

As he stood waiting in the brightness, it became clear to Peter that this question was not rhetorical.

“What can I do, God? I am only a man and not a very good one.”

The Voice then said, “Do not be afraid, Panos, only believe. Watch and pray. Others are coming to help. Teach them as I have taught you, and be obedient to My Word.”

It was one p.m. when Peter Carson entered the library. At three p.m. some inmates found Peter, unconscious and curled up underneath a bench on the cement floor of the outdoor library patio.

This patio would soon become known by another name, Solomon’s Porch.

Two

Peter’s head didn’t clear until later that evening. While the memory of his vision was vivid, his recollection of being carried from the patio to the infirmary, then being examined and released was vague. It took several hours for Peter to gather himself, to regain the full use of his mind and senses, and to put in some order what he had experienced.

Although he could not explain why, Peter Carson was absolutely sure that his vision was real. “Real” being defined as having come from God. Peter knew that what he had felt and saw were pure truth. Further, he knew that he knew that he knew. This certainty defied rational reasoning; it went far beyond any worldly standard of proof.

As soon as he was fully revived, Panos Kallistos did something he hadn’t done since he was in grade school. He prayed.

As he did, he really didn’t know what to expect. He surely didn’t know what to say, much less how to say it. Was God going to put him through another ordeal every time he spoke to Him? He wondered if he could survive another vision, given his weakened condition.

Peter Carson’s first prayer was for three things; strength, wisdom, and peace of mind. He wasn’t sure why he was praying for these specific blessings. It was almost as if someone else inside him was doing the praying.

There were no more visions, for which Peter was very thankful, but after offering his simple prayer, Peter began to feel better, much better.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, Peter noticed that his anxiety was gone. That dull anguish, that gnawing erosion of his soul, had ceased. Instantly.
When was the last time I felt this good?
he silently asked himself.
Has it really been three years since my arrest? Since the day my world fell apart?

Peter’s mind had begun the process of renewal. Old ideas and values, judgments, and self-images; views of right and wrong, everything was being rewired.

A new man was emerging. A child of God was replacing an unfaithful soul.

While Peter genuinely regretted stealing his client’s funds, down deep, in the center of his being, what Peter regretted most was getting caught. Part of him had known this all along, but for some reason he had never admitted it to himself. At his sentencing, Peter Carson said all the right things. He delivered his lawyer’s prefabricated and hollow apology speech to the court perfectly.

But, until this moment, the true nature of his sin, the heavy weight and blatant filth of it, had never been fully revealed to him. Peter had always tried to justify his evil using excuses such as “inordinate financial pressures,” “lack of criminal intent,” and even “clinical depression.” While the world had held him accountable, Peter had never repented.

“S*** happens,” he used to say. “No it doesn’t,” God told Peter, “you (and everyone else) allow it to happen.” Seen through God’s eyes, Peter Carson’s life was very different, far removed from his own previous conception of what it meant to be alive.

For the second time in two days, Peter wept; but these tears were healing, not condemning. He was truly sorry that he had allowed his weaknesses to overcome his soul, to take control, to make him an unwitting servant of the evil one.

He felt compelled to open his Bible, a book that had been given to him when he arrived at prison, but had so far seen no use. Without effort or conscious thought, he turned to the book of Job, the twenty-eighth chapter and the twenty-eighth verse. It reads, “And to man He said, ‘Behold, the fear of the Lord that is wisdom, And to depart from evil is understanding.’”

It turns out that life was simpler to understand, and much more difficult to correctly live than Peter had ever imagined. He, like everyone else, could choose to obey or to ignore God. Striving to be truly obedient to the will of the Father, Peter now knew, was the toughest challenge any man could possibly face.

Through the power of the Holy Spirit, the far reaching impact of Peter’s sin was made fully apparent to him. There was the pain and suffering he had caused his immediate family, the harm he’d done to his clients, both financially and emotionally, and the disgrace he brought upon his firm and his friends. He mourned over the encouragement his sin might have given others to steal. Worst of all, Peter realized, he had deeply offended God.

His fingers flipped though the pages of his Bible once more, until again, without deliberate selection, they reached the one hundredth and third psalm, twelfth verse. It reads, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”

Peter knew that this was a message specifically directed to him. All of his sins, pain, regrets, sorrow, anxiety, guilt, and shame were suddenly not his anymore. He had been liberated. Another now bore his burdens for him.

Peter closed his Bible, flipped off his reading light, and shut his eyes. With a clean heart and a peaceful mind, Panos Kallistos then slept for the better part of the next three days, waking only occasionally to eat and to be counted by the guards.

Soon after Peter was up and around again, he committed himself to the study of the Scriptures and prayer. He did these things as discreetly as possible; making no mention of his vision or his new found spirituality to anyone. He felt compelled by this new and powerful Inner Voice of his to wait before taking action. The command he received was to “watch and pray.” He took it literally and seriously.

Over the past eighteen months at Parkersboro, Peter had made a few casual friends, but none of them so close as to make much of a fuss when he now politely avoided them. Chaplains came and went at the camp, conducting Bible studies and services for the men. Most meant well, but few had any real insights into God’s true nature or His word. Peter respected their efforts, but did not participate in their meetings or discussions.

He read all day long, making notes and asking questions through prayer, and then receiving answers through understanding. His mind and soul were a sponge and he was soaking up information and gaining knowledge at a fantastic pace.

From the time of the Apostles it was believed, although the Protestant reformation to a degree tries to deny this truth, that the Bible must be interpreted if it is to be properly understood. Through interpretation, many supposed contradictions are resolved, messages and prophecy become plain, and God’s unchanging voice is made more apparent and consistent. When the books of the Bible are synchronized into the harmony of God’s purpose it flows, and the same universal truths are revealed from beginning to end.

St Luke’s Gospel says that for His Apostles, Jesus “opened their understanding that they might comprehend the Scriptures.” God now did the same for Peter Carson. It was a gift that would enable him to fulfill God’s purpose for his life. It would also make him unique, and set him apart from other men, with all of the blessings and trials that such a privileged status endows.

With each passing day, Peter was changing, further evolving into a “new creature,” as St. Paul testifies. He didn’t seem to get angry anymore and began to feel compassion for those he used to despise. The petty things in life that formerly irritated Peter to no end no longer mattered. Patience, a virtue almost unknown to the old Peter Carson, was becoming the core of his new character. The world’s influence on Panos Kallistos was diminishing, and love, God’s perfect and unconditional love, was replacing it.

Before his vision, if Peter dreamed at all about the future, it was of him having survived his ordeal and then living the “good life” once again with a new career, a new wife, and plenty of money. He now understood, with clarity and certainty so intense it frightened him, that if he had continued down this old road, his particular weaknesses, dishonesty, and greed being chief, would inevitably have gotten the best of him. Without a doubt, he would have ended up back in prison, and worse, in hell.