Solace (15 page)

“Jesus Christ,” was all he could manage, the words said breathlessly.

Aaron came up onto his knees, just watching Shane as he regained his bearings. He’d never realized how often Shane looked on edge; not until he saw him like this. He was completely vulnerable right now, his guard shattered and tossed aside.

Aaron wanted to wrap him up and promise to protect him forever. It was ridiculous, but his heart clenched in his chest just to think of it.

“Are you convinced now?” He asked quietly.

Shane lifted his head to look at him. “Convinced of what? That you’re fucking amazing? Yeah, I’m convinced.”

Aaron flushed. Leave it to Shane to say something like that right now.

“That I wanted what happened between us. That I want you.”

A slow smile spread across Shane’s features and Aaron could feel his heart hammering away in his chest.

“I’m starting to get that. Might need more of a demonstration, though.”

And that was a demonstration Aaron was happy to give.

I
t took
a little over a month for a hearing to be scheduled.

Denise had warned him that the legal system—especially the family courts—would be slow, but he was honestly just glad his request wasn’t flat-out denied.

Sure, it was going to suck to have to stand in front of a judge and explain why he should have any right to see his daughter, but at least he had the chance to do it. Legally, Shell couldn’t just take Becca and run. Not now.

Shane had come to appreciate small victories, and he was sure Aaron had something to do with that.

Aaron had earned a few small victories of his own. He’d said it was because of Shane’s help, but Shane didn’t think that was true. He was growing more and more confident, and it was amazing to see.

That didn’t change the fact that Aaron’s presentation at the VA was just a day away now, or the fact that he seemed to get queasy whenever he talked about it. So far, Shane had done a pretty good job of distracting him. But he did let Aaron get in some practice every now and again, and the presentation was coming along well.

There was no doubt in his mind that Aaron could give a very compelling speech that would have a room full of veterans falling over each other to sign up for the program. PFH would end up with a pretty impressive waiting list.

But convincing Aaron of that was something else. Shane got the impression that he wouldn’t believe it until it was over with, and so on the evening beforehand, when Aaron came over to help him with Buttercup, he decided to put a plan into motion.

He heard the soft thumping of Aaron’s music before the car’s engine was turned off. Buttercup got to her feet, the car door closed, and Shane felt an undeniable spark of excitement.

In a way, it felt weird to celebrate half victories. But that was exactly what he planned on doing. He just had to get Aaron on board.

Shane opened the door before Aaron had a chance to knock, and Aaron smiled at him in surprise.

“Hey.” He extended a hand, offering it to Buttercup. She shamelessly bumped her head against his palm.

“Hey yourself.”

Maybe they hadn’t gotten past the awkward greeting stage yet, despite everything they’d done. But it felt… nice to be awkward with someone again. He felt like he was a teenager; like his years in the Army hadn’t changed him at all. He never imagined he would get that naivety back, and, as strange as it was to feel grateful for it, he did.

A slow arch of Aaron’s brow made him grin. “You’re dressed up. Going out tonight?”

By dressed up, Aaron meant he wasn’t wearing his normal faded t-shirt with ripped jeans. He’d actually put some effort into his appearance this evening, but he definitely wasn’t going to end up on the cover of
GQ
anytime soon.

“Got a hot date,” he said with a wink.

The Aaron he’d met a few months ago might have blushed and stammered and made some excuse to leave, convinced that the person on the other end of that statement definitely couldn’t be him. This Aaron still blushed, but there was no stammering and no leaving. Shane smiled.

“What’s the occasion?”

Taking a few steps into the foyer, Shane grabbed some papers from a table. He handed the folder to Aaron, who scanned the top sheet. Anyone else probably would have been perplexed, considering it was essentially an order to appear in court. But Aaron’s smile grew quickly, and it practically lit up the room.

“They’re going to hear your case,” he said, and Shane could sense that excitement bubbling just under the surface.

It was infectious.

“Apparently there’s a lot more hoops to jump through, but I guess it’s a start,” Shane said.

Aaron rested a gentle hand on his arm, and he felt a flush of warmth spread through him.

“Don’t downplay this. It’s huge!”

“That’s what she s—”

Shane could practically hear the roll of Aaron’s eyes. “I’m not even going to let you finish that.”

Shane just grinned. “Sorry. I’ll use the right pronoun next time.”

Aaron let out a weary sigh, but Shane knew it was all for show. It was almost like they’d been friends for years, instead of months. Maybe even more than friends.

“Anyway, I figured we could go out to celebrate. My treat.”

Aaron shook his head. “It’s always your treat. Let me buy this time. You’re the one with the good news.”

Shane started to open his mouth to protest, but then thought better of it. He was still on the hunt for a job, after all. It wasn’t like his lawyer was going to take this case pro bono.

“Wait,” Aaron said, his face scrunching in displeasure. “I can’t tonight. Can we do it tomorrow night?”

Shane arched a brow. “You got plans?”

“You know I do. I’m going to be up all night trying to memorize that presentation.”

“That’s exactly why you’re coming out with me tonight.”

Aaron shook his head. “I can’t. I really wish I could.”

Shane reached for Aaron’s fidgeting hands, taking them in his own. It wasn’t a gesture he thought much about anymore, even if it might have seemed strange to his past self. Redirecting Aaron’s focus—keeping him from fidgeting—seemed to have a positive effect. And that was all Shane cared about.

“You could probably recite that speech from start to finish right now without your notes,” Shane began. “Shit, there’s no probably about it. You
can
. And worrying about it tonight isn’t going to make you feel any better tomorrow. So just take a night off.”

Aaron’s gaze darted about, as if he were looking for a way out of this. But he didn’t pull away from Shane. “I can’t. If I forget anything tomorrow…”

“You won’t. Come on. If I don’t get to spend tonight thinking about what the hell I’m supposed to say to a judge, you don’t get to spend tonight rehearsing a speech you already know by heart.”

Aaron’s lips pressed together in a gesture Shane had come to equate with surrender. The slow nod afterward confirmed it. Shane’s face split into a grin, and it seemed like Aaron couldn’t help but smile in return.

“Only for a couple of hours.”

“Sure. Whatever you want.”

But if Shane had his way, Aaron wouldn’t have the chance to even think about tomorrow’s presentation.

* * *

T
hey ended
up going to a steakhouse on Aaron’s suggestion, and, while they started off across from each other, the noise from the crowd eventually led to Aaron scooting into Shane’s side of the booth, with Buttercup at his feet.

Shane wasn’t fooling himself. It was a date. And it was all pretty… easy. A few months ago, Shane would have thought it was too easy. But tonight he focused on just enjoying it for what it was. Things would change soon. The hearing damn near guaranteed it, one way or the other.

For now, he enjoyed the time he had with Aaron. There weren’t any demands here. It really was like being a teenager again, and having no fucking idea what he was doing or where he was going. Aaron didn’t seem to expect him to have those answers, so he wasn’t in a hurry to find them.

It was a pretty good way to spend an evening. But things slowly started to unravel after about an hour into it.

It started with a few looks from a table of three guys who didn’t seem to share half a brain between them. They took turns glancing from him to Aaron, looking at the space that didn’t exist between them, and then talking in that overloud way that said they’d already had more than the one pitcher that was on the table.

He tried to tune them out. He really did. Aaron was talking excitedly about the new content they were adding in the Shield and Sanctuary expansion, and Shane would much rather listen to him.

But the assholes just kept talking. It was hard not to at least hear some key words like “fucking fags.”

He could have ignored it. It wasn’t the first time he’d heard that shit. But when they started focusing their attention on Aaron specifically, and not the two of them together, Shane couldn’t take it anymore.

Buttercup let out the tiniest whine, sitting up at attention. And Aaron reached under the table to squeeze his knee. It was a silent plea.

They aren’t worth it.

And yeah, these three assholes weren’t worth it. But just the fact that Aaron had obviously heard them and had been forced to pretend like everything was fine was enough to break through Shane’s resolve.

The next time he heard laughter coming from their table, he turned an icy glare on the three of them.

“You have a problem with me?” Shane ground out.

Two of the men shrank, but the third—the ringleader—glared right back at Shane.

“No, no problem. Everybody here is fine with you and your fairy boyfriend shoving your lifestyle down our throats, apparently.”

Jesus. Did people really say shit like this in public? A few people at nearby tables obviously heard him, but they all focused intently on their meals. Fine. If nobody else wanted to call this shit out, Shane would have to be the one to do it.

“He’s not worth it,” Aaron said urgently, placing a hand on his arm.

“Hey, fuck whoever you want when you get home,” the man said, and a woman nearby cringed. “But when you come into my restaurant where me and my friends can see you—where kids can see you—and start pushing your agenda, then yeah, I’ve got a problem.”

Shane’s fist clenched. It would be so easy to lay this asshole out. To bust his lip, break his nose, and knock him to the ground.

He started to get up. Plates and silverware clattered as his knees hit the underside of the table. Aaron’s grip on his arm tightened, and he practically growled in response, ready to throw him off.

But Aaron was just trying to stop him from doing something he would regret.

Shane slowly pushed a breath out through his nose and sat back down. Buttercup stilled beside him as well, but her ears were pricked in that alert posture.

“Wow. Can’t even defend yourself? I figured you were the guy in that relationship, but I guess you must’ve left your balls in your purse.”

Those words were enough to flip that switch again; a switch he thought had finally started to rust over.

But it wasn’t rusty at all.

He could see it play out in his mind’s eye. He’d cross the gap between their booths, yank the man out by his collar, and slam him against the wall. He could have done it so quickly.

But he never got the chance.

The server came up, completely oblivious to the fact that Shane was damn near ready to launch himself at the other man.

“Sir,” he said to the asshole who’d started all of this, “some of the other guests are complaining about your comments. If you don’t stop, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“About
my
comments? I’m just telling it like it is. You wanna throw somebody out, it should be these cocksuckers.”

Shane could feel the scrape of his nails as they dug into his palms. Something was stopping him from getting all the way up. Right. The table.

He thought he’d already gotten to his feet, but apparently he’d only imagined himself doing it.

“See? Now he just looks like an idiot,” Aaron said quietly.

He watched as their neighbor made an ass out of himself and, sure enough, the manager came by to escort him out. His buddies were left behind, looking mortified.

Nobody was looking at him and Aaron anymore. It should be a victory. The restaurant staff had sided with them. Hell, Shane had managed to somehow keep himself from pummeling that asshole.

But he would have. He wanted to. His brain turned that stupid, ignorant threat into something real, and, like some kind of fucking AI with a kill setting, he’d set his sights on that man.

If the server hadn’t come up, he would have lost it. Aaron wouldn’t have been able to stop him. Buttercup wouldn’t have been able to calm him down.

“I’m proud of you,” Aaron said with so much sincerity in his voice that it made Shane’s heart hurt.

But he didn’t have any reason to be proud.

Shane wasn’t fixed. He was never going to be fixed.

* * *

W
hen Shane pulled
into his driveway later that evening, he wasn’t thinking of the best way to lean in for the kiss. He wasn’t thinking about the angle he’d have to use to slide his hand over Aaron’s thigh, or how touching that one spot on Aaron’s ear seemed to be the same as throwing gas on a fire.