So Totally (6 page)

“Then why were you such a jackass?”

He snorted and pushed my head back onto his shoulder. “You seem to bring that out in me.” He paused for a moment. “When I recognized you, I just assumed I’d seen you before in town or something, and that’s why I’d drawn you as the girl. But when you talked about the mirror—it’s more than a coincidence.”

I focused on the quiet between us for a few minutes. “What am I going to do, Nate? Do you think you were, like, prophesying my arrival or something?”

He rubbed a lazy pattern of circles on my arm with his hand. “Maybe it was my fault. Maybe because I drew it, you showed up.”

I preferred to think he just had a psychic connection to me, rather than an
if-you-build-it-they-will-come
thing. Either way, weird seemed to be an understatement.

Okay, Carrington, let’s run down the sitch, shall we? In the last twenty-four hours, you witnessed your reflection become separate from yourself; you blacked out and woke up in 1986; you’re sharing a bedroom with your mother, who thinks you’re in the Witness Protection Program; you appear to be stuck in time and don’t understand how you got here; you’ve befriended a trio of nerds, one of whom drew a picture of you before you showed up; and said nerd is now holding you in his arms on his bed and you are not only allowing this but are an active participant.

And by active, I meant I really enjoyed the way he made me feel safe and in a little danger at the same time. We were on his bed, after all. And even though I didn’t know him yesterday (which, remember, was actually nine thousand plus days ago), cuddling into his arms seemed like it was the rightest thing in the whole world. Considering the strangeness of that world lately, I suppose that really wasn’t a huge feat.

And then, instead of wondering why I traveled time and what the sketch had to do with it, I got tangled up in wondering why this boy was such an enigma. Completely different from the guys I usually liked—he also didn’t really fit with Paul and Kevin either. Where they were socially and romantically stunted, Nate obviously was at ease with girls. At least, he was with me.

He had that whole Rhett Butler thing going for him. Well, except for the hair pomade that he didn’t use and mustache he didn’t have. Okay, he actually didn’t look anything like Rhett Butler. It was his attitude. He seemed steeped in confidence. And he knew how to flirt.

“Has anything like this ever happened to you before?” he asked.

“No. Usually when I travel the space-time continuum I keep it to five years max in either direction. What about you? Have you ever thought it might be easier to meet a girl at the roller rink than draw her into life from a sketch pad? Or is this a new talent?”

“You should be thankful I didn’t draw you naked. It’s getting late. We should get you back to Heather’s.” He unwound himself from me and stood up. “I don’t think it’s a good idea that you are staying there, though. Try to keep a very low profile until we’ve had a chance to study all the parodoxes…” He frowned. “Parodoxi?”

I nodded. “I’m scared I’ll fix it so I’m never born, and then what?”

He pulled me to my feet. “Kevin and Paul are the best researchers I know. And when they get the answers, Kevin will translate all of Paul’s science-speak into a language you and I can understand. Meanwhile, we’ll work on possible causes for the travel to begin with. Since you didn’t build a machine—it’s likely that we are dealing with some kind of paranormal phenomenon.”

“Are you trying to reassure me or scare me?” Paranormal. Like ghosts and demons? I shivered.

He cupped my chin and then hypnotized me with those intense eyes. “Carrington, you’re a smart girl. Look at how well you’ve handled this so far. A lot of people our age would be freaking out in a corner sucking their thumbs if this happened to them.” He held my hand and led me back to the front door. “That was reassurance, by the way. In case you have to ask again.”

“Have you ever done it?”

“Done what?” I teetered on the edge of sleep, rolling over to face Heather anyway and dragging the familiar quilt over my shoulder. I really needed some
Z
’s.

“You know…
it
.”

My eyes sprung open like a window shade. Fab. Thanks to my mother, sleep was out of the question and instead of sleep, I teetered on the edge of hell. “No, Heather. I haven’t done
that
.”

I’d already been through the big S-E-X talk with her once in my lifetime. I didn’t want to relive the experience.

“I haven’t either.” She raised herself to an elbow and propped her head on her hand, meaning this conversation was just getting started. “But I think I will…soon. With Tommy.”

Remember the teetering? Full-fledged plunge now. Go directly to hell, do not pass go, do not finish this conversation with your mother.

I wish I were that lucky.

“Um. Do you love him?”

“Totally. He really gets me, you know? I feel totally connected with him.”

For those of you just tuning in, Heather has just confided to Carrington that she thinks she’s ready to have sex with the boy she will later use as a cautionary tale to warn Carrington about going too far too soon.

Riddle me this: Which is better in the long run? If I don’t say anything and let my BFF get her heart stomped on, but preserve the future for both of us? Or convince her that Tommy is a total waste of oxygen and save her from the heartache I know is in store for her?

Time Travel: it’s not for the faint at heart.

“Is he pressuring you to sleep with him?”

The moonlight cast a faint glow on Heather’s face, and I could see she was torn about how to answer that. “Not really pressuring. But I know he wants to, and I do too. I’m not a slut or anything… I just feel like I’m ready.”

Awkward silence.

Okay, what would Mom say?

“Having sex has a lot of repercussions. Are you sure you’re ready for all of them?” Great, now I’m a forty-year-old, and I haven’t been born yet. “Sorry. I mean…I don’t know what I mean. I guess that’s why I’m still a virgin. How do you know you’re ready?”

“Well, I’m in love with him.”

“Is Tommy in love with you?”

She exhaled loudly. “He says he is. And when he kisses me I can’t think straight, you know? And when he touches….”

I squinted my eyes tight.
Happy place, happy place.
I started reciting the multiplication tables in my head to block out where Tommy might have touched my mother and how much she liked it. I’d have been willing to scratch my fingernails down a chalkboard to avoid this conversation.

And then it occurred to me that maybe I really was in hell. Maybe, I
died
in the bathroom in 2011, and this was the punishment for lying and wanting to go to a kegger. Could God be so cruel? It was a genius plan, though. What could be a worse punishment for a teenager than forcing her to spend an eternity in high school…with her parent?

Then I remembered Nate. He didn’t feel like punishment to me. And then I realized Heather had stopped talking.

“Well, um. Are you on the pill? Do you have condoms?”
Really, God, you are a helluva funny guy.

“You think I should use both?” she asked.

“Well, yeah. No birth control is one hundred percent effective and the pill won’t protect you from AIDS,” said the public service announcement formerly known as Carrington.

Her voice climbed an octave. “AIDS? Oh my God. It’s not like he has gay sex or anything!”

Whoa, Mom, defensive much? I realized that I’d forgotten about the newness of AIDS. In health class, we learned that in the mid-eighties, a lot of misinformation made the rounds. People thought that only gay men had it. “Heather, I had to do a report about AIDS at my old school. You can get HIV from unprotected sex with anyone—not just from gay sex. And a lot of other nasty stuff. You might be a virgin, but is Tommy?”

“Well, no.”

“Okay, then you should know that if you have sex with Tommy, you are essentially having sex with everyone he has, too.” I was dying for a pointy object to end my misery by this point.

Heather made a gagging noise. “That is disgusting.”

“I’m not trying to scare you. I just want to make sure you are completely ready. If he’s the one, great, but if you think you would regret it or you’re not prepared, you should wait.”
Yes, wait until you meet my dad and then only have…relations…enough to make sure I’m born. Then, please, for the love of all that is holy, never speak of it again.

“You are going to make a great mother someday, Carrington.”

I rolled back over. “You’re going to do it anyway, aren’t you?”

She giggled. “Yeah, probably.”

Ha-ha-ha, God. Ha-ha-ha.

M
Y grandmother hovered closely. “Are you all right, Carrington? You look a little green this morning.”

“I’m a little nervous. New school.” I shrugged.
And instant coffee doesn’t help, Grandma
, I wanted to add, but couldn’t, of course. Her coffee was basically metallic water with a taste that lingered long after you
enjoyed
it the first time.

“You’ll be fine,” Heather told me. “All the guys are going to love having a new girl to chase. And you’ve already met a lot of people.”

I nodded. I’d never been to a new school before. Except for kindergarten—and Heather took me that time too. Come to think of it, she’d picked out my clothes both times too. Today, I shoehorned myself into a pair of her 501 Levi’s and a longish shaker-knit sweater (to hide the buttons in case they gave under pressure) and, of course, jelly shoes.

When we got to school, the campus looked like pretty much the opening scene of any teen movie from the ‘80s up. Appearance alone made for easy profiling, but lucky me, I also had a tour guide.

“Those girls are the Duranimals.” Heather pointed to a cluster of girls smoking on the corner. Their bi-level haircuts were moussed in such a way that their bangs jutted out over one eye. They also rocked a lot of paisley, pearls, ruffles, and shoulder pads. “AKA New Wavers. They think they are making a statement by dressing differently from everyone else, but I think it’s kind of silly since they all dress like each other anyway. They aren’t really unique.”

She pointed to a hatchback AMC Pacer with strains of Scorpions coming from the huge speakers in the back. “Those guys are the stoners. They’re actually really some of the nicest guys in school…when they’re here. They listen to a lot of heavy metal. If you can’t see their eyes, which will be red, you can recognize them by their concert t-shirts. You probably won’t see them in first period or right after lunch.”

There was an awful lot of hair in that car, and I wondered if the guys in the backseat had to scrunch down whenever the driver needed to go in reverse.

We meandered from the parking lot onto the lawn. She pointed to the ultimate in preppy boys standing in front a door. “Young Republicans. They iron their jeans.” They also tied their sweaters loosely around their shoulders, right over their polo shirts. Collars up.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you this. You probably have the same groups at your old school too.”

I shrugged. “They were a little different.” Emo, anyone?

Sissy joined us, wearing acid-washed jeans and a matching acid-washed denim jacket. Her bangs were amazing. Instead of ratting them out to make them tall, she curled them so they looked like a sausage roll perched on her forehead.

“Ohmigawd, Jake is such an asshole,” she whined.

“What now, Sissy?” Heather asked.

I looked at the Swatch watch I’d borrowed this morning. I wanted to hit the bathroom mirror before classes started.

“I think he wants to break up with me,” Sissy said.

Ugh. Didn’t we just have this conversation yesterday at the arcade? I had a hard time caring about all these life-and-death hookups and breakups now that bigger issues bore down on me. Like imploding the future by inadvertently asking the wrong person for the time of day.

“Heather, why don’t you take care of Sissy? I need to use the restroom and check in at the office to make sure my transfer came through okay.”

She nodded and put her arm around Sissy, and I took off in the other direction to the bathrooms in the gymnasium foyer. There were other girls standing near the sink, which probably meant nothing would happen. The time change took place when I was alone last time. Still, I casually walked up to the mirror and pretended something was in my eye.