So Much Trouble When She Walked In (17 page)

“She
hasn’t moved around much,” he told them, “which made it a whole lot easier for
me.  She’s been pretty much in and around the Madison area all her life.”

They
learned that she was now Mrs. Meredith Albright, the wife of a pastor who ran a
church in Baraboo, mother of a twenty-two year old son and an eighteen-year-old
daughter.  That surprised Silken.  Their mother had started a family soon after
giving them up.  Still, she didn’t dwell on it.  Right now all she wanted to do
was find their mother. 

“How
can we reach her?” she asked as she and Suave sat huddled close to the speaker
on the phone, intent on catching every word that the P.I. said.  “Is it okay if
we call?”

“No. 
Let me handle it for the moment.  This is a very sensitive matter.”  Russell
Banner's voice was firm.  “I know you’re anxious but we have to take this
slow.  Remember, your mother specifically requested that her identity never be
revealed.”  There was a slight pause then he said, “The only reason the doctor
even gave you this information is because he’s gone.  She can’t sue him in the
grave.”

Silken
and Suave looked at each other, both obviously thinking the same thing.  It was
a sobering thought, the idea of their mother even wanting to sue.  Why would
she?  Wouldn’t she be thrilled to finally see her daughters again?

In
the end they agreed to make Mr. Banner make first contact with Meredith.  It
would dampen the shock, he said, allow her time to adjust to the idea that her
girls wanted to see her and be a part of her life.

Then
finally, in the first week of November, they got the news.  Meredith had agreed
to see them.  If they could fly out to Wisconsin the following week she would
meet them in Madison at Michelangelo’s Coffee House on State Street and they
could talk.

For
all that week both twins were on edge, anxiously awaiting the arrival of that
long anticipated day when they would see their mother’s face for the first
time.  She would open her arms to them, tears in her eyes, and hug them to her,
begging them to forgive her for letting them go.

They
would forgive her, of course, because she would have a good reason for giving
them up.  Maybe she had been too young or too poor to care for them and she’d
only wanted what was best.

Silken
and Suave flew into Madison, Wisconsin, the day before the appointed date and
rented a car through the hotel’s concierge.  They planned to arrive at their
meeting place half an hour early.  There was nothing that would make them late
for the most important meeting of their lives.

And
then the day of the meeting dawned.  Finally.  That morning Silken was
particularly meticulous as she applied her make-up and fixed her hair.  She
brushed the unruly curls straight then pinned them up in a bun on top of her
head.

Suave,
who’d been watching her the whole time, shook her head.  “You look like you’re
going to a job interview.  I don’t think we have to look so severe.”  She’d left
her own hair loose, letting it fall around her shoulders.

“Well,
at least she’ll be able to tell us apart.”  Silken bit her lip.  “I’m just so
nervous.  I want to look presentable.  I want her to like us.”

Suave
came over and put an arm around her shoulder.  “I’m sure she will.”  Then she
gave a soft chuckle.  “What’s not to like?”

Silken
rolled her eyes.  “A lot, where I’m concerned.  You know I’m famous for putting
my foot in my mouth.”  She put up a hand to touch Suave’s arm.  “If I say
anything stupid just kick me, okay?  Don’t let me make a fool of myself.”

Suave
squeezed her hand.  “You know I will but, trust me, you’ll be fine.”

Suave
made to step past but Silken stopped her.  There was one thing that had been on
her mind ever since the meeting had been arranged.  Maybe it was nothing but
she couldn’t help but wonder…

“Why
do you think she told us to meet her at a coffee house?  How come she didn’t
invite us to her house?”

Suave
tilted her head, seeming to think it through.  Then she shrugged.  “She
probably wanted to get to meet us first before introducing us to her family.”

Silken
nodded.  “I guess you’re right.”  Then she sighed.  “It’s the nerves, making me
worry about nothing.  What’s wrong with me?  This is so not me.”

“I
know but who can blame you?  I’m nervous, too.”  Suave’s eyes shone.  “Can you
believe it?  We’re finally going to meet our mother.”

Silken
and Suave arrived at the coffee house early and sat in the car for almost
twenty minutes, watching the entrance just in case Meredith came early, too. 
She’d said she’d be wearing a pink sweater with black piping and a black
skirt.  No-one fitting that description went through the door the whole time
they sat there so, at ten minutes before the noon hour, they went in and found
a table that was partially secluded but by the window.  Here, they could see
everyone who came in and out. 

They’d
been sitting there for fifteen minutes when Suave gave Silken a worried look. 
“She’s late.  Do you think something’s wrong?”

Silken
shook her head.  “It’s only five minutes past twelve.  She’s probably caught in
traffic.”  She got up, taking her purse with her.  “I’d better go order some
coffee till she gets here.”

“I’ll
have tea, please. Chamomile.”  Silken nodded and headed off to the counter. 
She’d given Silken a casual answer but she would be lying if she said a twinge
of concern hadn’t crept into her mind as well.  But they were worrying about
nothing, she was sure.  They just needed to exercise patience.

But
when twelve-twenty came with no sign of a pink-and-black suited woman, Silken voiced
the thought that had now begun to consume her.  “What if she changed her mind
and doesn’t show up at all?”

Now
it was Suave’s turn to reassure her.  “She will.  I just know she will.”  The
words came out more like a prayer than a declaration.

And,
as if God had been listening, the door to the coffee house swung open and a
tiny dark-haired woman wearing a pink top and black skirt entered the room.

Suave
gasped.  “There she is.  And she looks just like us.”

“And
so young.”  Silken stared at the woman who looked more like their sister than
their mother.  Like Silken, she’d drawn her hair up in a bun, but a couple of
tendrils had escaped and hung around her face, giving her a soft, innocent
look.  Her dark-brown eyes scanned the room and when they landed on the twins
they saw that one thing they’d been yearning for all these years – instant
recognition.

She
did not wave nor did she smile but she immediately headed in their direction,
her purse clutched tightly to her side.

When
she got to their table, both Silken and Suave rose up but they said nothing. 
For that brief moment all they could do was stare.

Then
Silken spoke.  “M…Meredith?”  She’d almost said ‘mother’ but caught herself
just in time.  She’d wanted to say mother but instinctively she knew they weren’t
at that stage yet.

“Yes,”
the woman said as she looked from one to the other.  Her eyes wide, she stared
at them for a full five seconds before she said another word.  “You’re so
alike.  I can’t…which one of you is Suave and which is Silken?”

Smiling,
Silken lifted a hand.  “Silken here.”

“And
I’m Suave.”  Suave stretched out her hand and the woman took it without
hesitation.

“And
I’m Meredith,” she said as she shook Suave’s hand.  “Meredith Albright.”

It
sounded so formal but Silken could only guess that Meredith was just as nervous
about the meeting as they were.  Probably even more so.  At least she and Suave
had the advantage of knowing they’d been searching for her for months.  Years,
actually.  But Meredith, she’d probably been blindsided when she’d been told
her daughters wanted to meet her.

They
all sat down then Silken drew in a deep breath.  “I hope you don’t mind that we
tracked you down like this…”

Suave
put a hand on her arm, stopping her.  She gave Meredith a soft, almost
apologetic smile.  “What can I get you?  Coffee?  Tea?”

Meredith
shook her head.  “Nothing, thanks.  I can’t stay long.”  She was clutching her
purse tightly again, and drew it closer on her lap.

Silken
almost frowned.  She had to fight to keep her expression bland.  What did she
mean she couldn’t stay long?  After not seeing them their entire lifetime?  And
what had happened to the bear hug, the tears in her eyes and the expressions of
regret?  This was not going like she’d expected.

The
smile on Suave’s face disappeared and she drew her hands in and laid them on
her lap.  Silken knew what that meant.  Her sister was prepared to wait
patiently for an explanation.  She would not be the one to ask.

Silken
would not – could not – hold it in.  “Why not?  We came all this way to see you
and you can’t stay?  You’re the one who chose this date and time.”

Under
the table, Suave bumped her knee against Silken’s leg.  Too late, though. 
Silken had already spoken her mind and now the ball was in Meredith's court.

“I
know,” she said, and Silken thought she detected a hint of regret in her
voice.  “Maybe I shouldn’t have.”

This
time Silken didn’t bother to hide her frown.  “Shouldn’t have what? Come?”

Meredith
didn’t answer.  She dropped her eyes then glanced away, looking like she’d rather
be anywhere but there.  The knuckles clutching her purse were white.  “I told
Mr. Banner it wasn’t a good idea but he told me how much you both wanted
this.”  She drew in a trembling breath.  “This is very hard for me,” she said
then she shook her head and bit down on her bottom lip.  “I told him just this
once, just to make you understand.”

Silken
glanced over at Suave and the sadness in her eyes told her that her sister,
too, had picked up on those significant words their mother had spoken.  Just
this once…which meant that after today they’d probably never see her again.

“I
never wanted you to find me,” Meredith blurted out.  “I wanted to put that part
of my life behind me.  Forever.”

Silken
felt the ice-cold knife of rejection slice through her heart.  There would be
no happy reunion today because Meredith did not want them.

“Why?"
she asked as she stared in confusion at the woman who sat across from them,
their own flesh and blood, and yet a stranger.  “Why would you hate us?”

Meredith
looked up, her eyes wide with surprise.  “I don’t hate you.  But I don’t…I
can’t…have you in my life.”  She dropped her eyes again and shook her head.  “I
just can’t.”

“Why
not?”  It was Suave’s voice that now rose up, strident and filled with pain.

“Try
to understand.  I can’t afford for this to get out.”  Meredith's voice was low
now, and she leaned closer across the table as if to prevent anyone from
overhearing a word of their conversation.  “That’s why I asked you to meet me
here and not in Baraboo.  I’m a pastor’s wife, First Lady of our church.  This
must never get out.”

She
drew in a deep breath then for the first time since she'd walked in the door
she released her grasp on her purse and laid it on the table.  She clasped her
hands in front of her, looking like she was about to say a word of prayer.  “I
was seventeen when it happened.  I don’t know how I could have been so stupid.”

Silken
held her breath, waiting for Meredith to say it but she didn’t.  Finally she
blurted it out.  “What happened?  Were you raped?” It was awful to even think
it but she had to know.

“No,
not that.”  Eyes wide, as if surprised Silken would even suggest it, she shook
her head.  “I was in love.  Just…with the wrong man.”  Then her lips took on a
bitter twist.  “He was married.  He told me how much he loved me, that his
marriage was in shambles and he’d be leaving his wife soon.”  She laughed and
it was a sad, hollow sound.  “It never happened.  It turns out that was just a
lie to get me to sleep with him.  And when he found out I was pregnant he laid
the blame squarely at my feet.  That’s the woman’s responsibility, he said, to
make sure things like this never happen.”  Meredith looked up at them and the
pain in her eyes was still raw.  “I was only seventeen.  A child!”

She
paused and looked away as if she’d gone back to that time, back to that world. 
Then, slowly, her eyes refocused.  “I grew up dirt poor.  There was no way I
could raise two children on my own.  And Emmett," she shook her head, “he
wanted nothing to do with me after that.  That was when I found out what scum
he was.”  She shrugged but her lips were tight.  “Soon, I was on my own and big
as a house.  My mother had been dead a year.  I did the only thing I could do. 
I went to live with the nuns, had the babies, then moved on with my life.”

“That
must have been so hard.”

At
Suave’s words Silken turned to glare at her.  She was actually being
sympathetic when the woman had given them away and not looked back.  Typical
Suave.

“Then
God blessed me.”  For the first time since she’d started speaking, a light
shone in Meredith eyes.  “A few months after I went back to Baraboo I attended
a camp meeting led by a wonderful young pastor.  The first time I saw him there
on that pulpit, I fell in love.”

Silken
almost rolled her eyes but this time she exercised self-control.  Meredith was
probably talking about her husband.

“Pastor
Albright,” she said, her face glowing.  “I went to every one of those meetings
and I was among the first ones to be baptized.  And then,” her voice became
hushed, “the pastor asked to see me privately and that was when he told me he
had taken a special interest in me and would like to invite me to have dinner
with him.  We were married five months later.”  Her story over, she looked at
Suave and Silken with earnest eyes.  “So you see, I couldn’t possibly have you
in my life.  I moved on, made a new life for myself.  That part of me doesn’t
exist anymore.”