So Long Been Dreaming (25 page)

“Isn’t there some way of continuing on the Blue Road, Mr Border Guard?” he asked politely. “I really desperately need to go to the Northern Kingdom. I have nowhere else to go.”

“Well,” the Border Guard said slowly, “according to the rules, there
is
a way for people who don’t have a ticket. But it isn’t easy.” He grinned enigmatically. “Have you ever seen a dance called ‘the limbo’? Two people hold a stick a few feet off the ground and the dancer leans way back and shuffles underneath the stick.”

Lacuna nodded. He knew the dance.

“Well, if you can limbo under the border, you may pass freely. That’s all I can do for you.”

Lacuna looked at the border again: it was painted onto the road. There was no way anyone could limbo beneath a painted border.

“Oh, and you can’t dig underneath it,” the Border Guard added, “you have to dance under it, you have to limbo underneath the border. It’s nothing personal, son. I’m just following the rules.”

Lacuna could barely contain his anger, but he knew he needed to remain calm and think of some way out of this situation. He carefully considered his circumstances. He knew that no one can limbo beneath a painted border. He thought and thought but could see no way out of his predicament.

There was nothing else to do but set up a camp beside the Border Guard’s booth and wait until an idea came to him.

How the Man Limbo Danced Beneath a Painted Border

For four days, Lacuna camped beside the Border Guard’s booth. During these days he passed the time by playing cards with the Border Guard. Once, while they were playing cards, he noticed a tiny starling flying low to the ground; it was heading north towards the border. Just as the little bird was about to cross the place where the border was, the Border Guard leapt from his two-legged stool (which promptly fell over), hopped on his good leg towards the bird, and chopped the bird in half in mid-flight with the edge of his skeleton key crutch. He did this all in one dazzlingly swift motion, whereupon he returned to his two-legged stool to continue their card game. Lacuna was dumbfounded at the unlikely speed and agility that the Border Guard showed, not to mention the horror of seeing the tiny bird sliced in half.

“Sorry about the interruption,” the Border Guard said, “but no one can cross the border without properly observing the rules.”

“Not even birds?” Lacuna asked incredulously.

“Nobody at all,” the Border Guard answered firmly. He went on to explain that his skeleton key crutch also doubled as an axe. In fact, according the Border Guard, it was the sharpest axe in the world, capable of slicing easily through any material. Lacuna realized that now, more than ever, he had to think of a way to limbo beneath the painted border.

On the fourth night of camping, while he tossed and turned unable to sleep, he finally came up with a plan.

When he awoke in the morning, Lacuna stretched for a while, then stood pondering the sky. He carefully studied the clouds and the horizon. He then breakfasted with the Border Guard.

That afternoon, while they were playing cards over lunch, Lacuna periodically looked up and observed the sky. When night fell, he bedded down and slept soundly until the morning.

This pattern continued for three more days. On the third day after Lacuna had had his idea, the Border Guard finally asked him what he was going to do. It had been raining all morning, and the two of them sat at the table inside the booth playing their afternoon game of cheat. The sun was just beginning to emerge from behind the coal-coloured clouds.

“So what are you going to do, boy?” the Border Guard asked him. “You can’t stay camped here forever, although I suppose there’s no rule against it. I don’t mind the company, but I just don’t think you’re ever going to be able to limbo underneath that painted border. It just can’t be done.”

While he talked, Lacuna was staring out the window and into the sky.

“Are you a betting man, Mr Border Guard?”

The Border Guard eyed him cautiously. “Well, that depends on what the bet is, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, it does,” Lacuna said seriously. He thought about how he had burnt the Thicket of Tickets to help the people that might follow him, without knowing that they would need those tickets to get across this border. Now he would make up for his mistake.

“I’ll bet you your skeleton key crutch that I’ll limbo beneath the border today. If I don’t succeed, I’ll give you all of what little money I have.”

The Border Guard shook his head.

“That’s a stupid bet to make, boy. It can’t be done. I’d be taking your money, as sure as you’re born.”

Lacuna held his gaze steadily. “Will you bet me or not?”

The Border Guard scratched his head and wondered at the younger man’s stupidity.

“Why not? If you want to give your money away, I’ll take it. Sure. Why not? But if you walk down that road without limbo dancing beneath the border like I said, I’ll have to cut you in half just like I did that bird. I hope you understand that.”

Lacuna nodded.

“I’m going to go pack up my campsite. When I’m finished, you’ll watch me limbo beneath the border.”

The Border Guard shook his head in disbelief as Lacuna left the booth to pack up his gear.

While he was outside of the booth, Lacuna examined the sky once more. Satisfied, he went to his campsite and rummaged around in his knapsack until he found the canteen filled with ink from the Great Swamp of Ink. He then went to the Blue Road and poured the ink over the painted rainbow border. Since the ink was the exact colour of the Blue Road, the painted border was completely blotted out. He finished packing up his things and returned to the Border Guard’s booth.

“Well, I’m ready to limbo beneath the border. And remember: if I succeed, you have to give me your skeleton key crutch.”

“And
when
you fail, you’ll have to give me all your money. And I’ll most likely have to chop you in half.”

The two of them went to the spot on the Blue Road where the border had been, but the border was nowhere to be seen. The Border Guard was panic-stricken.

“But where is it?” he shouted. “The border’s gone!”

Lacuna smiled and pointed into the sky.

Both men looked up to see an arcing rainbow far above them among the shifting clouds and sunlight.

“There it is,” Lacuna said sharply.

The Border Guard stared silently at the rainbow, completely baffled by this unthinkable turn of events. He looked back at Lacuna, utterly perplexed, but could not think of a single thing to say.

Lacuna slung his pack over his shoulder, bent backwards ever-so-slightly, and limbo danced a few steps down the Blue Road, beneath the rainbow that hung fast in the sky above them. He then turned around and held his hand toward the Border Guard.

“I did it. Now give me your skeleton key crutch.”

The Border Guard’s mouth hung open. He still could say nothing, but he looked at his crutch. Without it, he would no longer be able to properly guard the border.

“Give me the crutch,” Lacuna persisted. He thought for a moment about something the Border Guard had said to him. “Listen: we made a deal. I’m just following the rules.”

The Border Guard reluctantly handed him the skeleton key crutch, which Lacuna snatched out of his hand. He immediately turned his back on the Border Guard, laughed, and headed down the Blue Road, and on towards the Northern Kingdom.

If he had turned around to look, which he didn’t, he would have seen the Border Guard balancing on his one leg, with his mouth still open in disbelief. The Border Guard stared first down at the road, then up at the rainbow, then down at the road again. He continued to do this until long after Lacuna had dropped out of sight in the distance.

The Gates of the Northern Kingdom

Once past the border, Lacuna’s journey was easy. He reflected upon the incident with the Border Guard and felt confident he had done the right thing. He used the skeleton key crutch-axe as a walking stick, and cheerfully sang to himself as he walked the Blue Road.

After several days of uneventful travel, Lacuna at last saw a great city looming on the horizon. As he got closer he could see that the Blue Road led straight to its gates, through a high alabaster-coloured wall that surrounded the city. Lacuna knew from its magnificence that this had to be the Northern Kingdom itself.

As he approached the gates, Lacuna passed several people, some going in or coming out of the city, others selling goods by the side of the road. He marvelled that the people looked just like he did, but were all shapes, sizes, and ages. He was overwhelmed at seeing so many people in one place after seeing so few for so long – and this was only the outskirts of town. His mind boggled when he thought about how many more people there would be inside the vast metropolis.

He noticed several Gate Keepers checking people’s bags and letting them through the massive portcullis. When it was Lacuna’s turn to enter the city, a Gate Keeper stopped him.

“Your papers,” the Gate Keeper said tersely.

Lacuna wasn’t sure what to do. He remembered the Border Guard; perhaps he was supposed to have gotten papers that would allow him passage into the Kingdom from the Border Guard.

“I don’t have any papers, sir,” he said to the Gate Keeper. “I’m not from here. I come from the, uh, south.” He had begun to say that he was from the Great Swamp of Ink, but decided that it might not make a very good impression; he wanted to erase his past forever and start again as a northern person, so he decided right there that he would mention the swamp as little as possible from now on.

“Go over there,” the Gate Keeper said, pointing to a small stone gatehouse. He proceeded to inspect the next person’s papers.

Lacuna approached the gatehouse and knocked on the door. Another Gate Keeper opened it and let him in.

“What can I do for you?”

“Well, sir, the man at the gate asked me for my papers and I told him I don’t have any papers. See, I’m not from here, I’m from the south. Was I supposed to get my papers at the border?”

“The border?” the Gate Keeper said with a frown. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. He was asking you for your papers of citizenship. You have to have papers to prove that you are a citizen of the Northern Kingdom to enter, of course.”

Lacuna felt despair welling in his chest. He had come so far, only to be denied.

“What am I going to do?” he asked desperately.

“Don’t worry,” the Gate Keeper said, beginning to grasp Lacuna’s situation. He shook his head and moved his hand as if to wave away Lacuna’s worries like so much smoke.

“Have a seat. Listen, I have the authority to issue you papers immediately. All you have to do is register here, and sign some forms.”

The Gate Keeper pushed a stack of papers towards Lacuna.

“It’s just so we know who you are. If you sign the papers and become a citizen, you can come and go as you please. You can leave the Kingdom and return any time you want. We welcome new subjects. All you have to do is fill out the forms and sign on the dotted line, and you’ll be an instant citizen.”

He passed a quill pen and a small pot of blue ink across his desk to where Lacuna sat listening intently.

“There’s only one rule that I have to inform you of before you sign.”

As he spoke, the Gate Keeper’s eyes strayed absent-mindedly to the wall of his office. Lacuna followed the man’s gaze to a portrait that hung there depicting a stern-looking man wearing a crown full of enormous sapphires. The Gate Keeper cleared his throat and continued without taking his eyes off the portrait.

“Citizens like yourself are required to take possession of a special mirror, which they are to carry on their person at all times. Now listen carefully:
as long as you are within the gates of the city you must never take your eyes off this mirror
. The mirror is magical, and if you look away from it for even a second, you will feel a sharp pain that will grow in intensity until it eventually kills you; all this will only take a matter of minutes. However, if you close your eyes entirely, you will not feel any pain. But as long as your eyes are open, you must be gazing into the mirror. That way, you may sleep at night quite normally, provided you do not open your eyes until the mirror is in front of you when you wake up.”