So Into You [The Jane Austen Academy Series #2] (14 page)

"Of course not." Ellie promised—even though a part of her was upset. Why did Emma have to make a big production out of everything? It’s not like she was the only one to have her heart broken—she was just the only one who felt it needed a grand dramatic gesture of acknowledgment. "Don’t worry about that." Ellie forced a cheerful smile on her face.

"Well, worry about it a little," Lizzie mumbled.

"Nope, not today," Ellie said firmly.

"I could ask my parents—"

"No!" Ellie cut Emma off. The last thing she wanted was to be an actual charity case to her friends’ families.

"You would do that?" Anne climbed on the end of the bed and stared at Emma as if seeing her for the first time.

"Of course," Emma said. "My parents are donors—maybe they could make a special gift for Ellie’s tuition and—"

"No!" Ellie said, louder this time, so the girls’ heads all swiveled toward her. "Earning a scholarship is one thing, but taking pity money from your parents is another. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it even if my parents would let me—which they won’t."

"We don’t have to tell them," Emma said stubbornly.

"If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen," Ellie said. "The universe sets a path."

"What if the universe is setting a path with Emma’s parents?" Lizzie asked.

Ellie let out an exasperated sigh. "No is no—and that’s final. It’s nobody’s fault I’m in this situation. It’s just something that happened—and I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I want to enjoy the time I have here. Now. The two million seconds I have left."

Lizzie, Anne, and Emma smiled.

"With you guys," Ellie added.

"What about Edward?" Emma asked.

"And Dante," Lizzie said softly.

"And Rick," Emma added again, looking to Anne, who glanced away.

"And Knight," Anne said tightly.

Ellie searched the eyes of her friends—wondering how with four amazing girls, only one had made a relationship work. "No boys today," Ellie insisted. "This is about enjoying the time I have left with you guys."

"With all of us," Emma echoed.

"Trashing Josh’s movies," Lizzie added.

"Pulverizing them," Anne added with a wicked glint.

* * *

The next morning’s breakfast service was bittersweet, because Ellie knew it wasn’t like she was going to be working in the kitchen every day until she graduated. She was going to be here until Thanksgiving—and then gone.

The universe had spoken.

She was going to listen.

She would be happy not to wash another gross dish, at least.

"Hello, miss," she heard the head cook say as she scrambled eggs.

The cook never called Ellie "miss."

Ellie glanced over her shoulder to see who the cook was talking to. Bergie stood at the door to the kitchen, her hands clasped, a red plaid pantsuit on.

"Hi, Headmistress Berg." Her heart pattered in her chest as Bergie approached—or maybe
prowled
was more like it. Had she put together that it had been she and Emma who had broken into her cottage?

The last thing she needed was criminal charges on top of feeling like crap for deciding to leave Jasta.

"I didn’t get the opportunity to tell you how much I liked your costume," Bergie said.

"Um . . . thank you."

Ellie fought to keep her composure as Bergie opened up a cupboard, pulled on a pair of yellow gloves, and walked to the sink, plunging her hands into the warm, soapy water and coming up with a dish to scrub.

Ellie tried to go about her business but couldn’t help staring at Bergie—doing dishes.

"I wish you’d entered the costume contest. The prize money would have helped with tuition."

She finally felt a swish of relief—Bergie didn’t seem to be here to accuse her of breaking and entering. But that still left her with the question: why was Bergie here?

"At least you can still take the next Achievement test."

"I don’t think I’m going to need that," Ellie said. "I’ve decided to join my parents after Thanksgiving."

Bergie nodded and looked around the kitchen. "I know the tests . . . the kitchen . . . it can seem like rough work."

"It’s not too bad," Ellie said.

Bergie smiled—a real, genuine smile—that took Ellie by surprise. Bergie was pretty when she smiled. "That’s not what I thought when I worked here."

"You worked in the kitchen?" Ellie thought back to the photograph.

"My mother was the cook here when I was a little girl. There weren’t any other schools in the area, and my mom couldn’t afford to send me away to another school, but the Escobars wouldn’t let me attend for free. So I had to work off my tuition."

A seed of bitterness crept into Bergie’s voice—it must have been Anne’s grandmother she was talking about—not Anne’s mom, who was practically Bergie’s age.

But then Bergie’s expression went blank again and she pulled her hands out of the sink. "I don’t want this to be an exclusive school, Ellie. I don’t want money to be the reason we’re losing one of our most promising students."

"It’s not just the money. I just can’t keep . . ." She struggled for the right words to express how defeated she felt, how tired she was of fighting for something when she didn’t know what she was fighting for. "I don’t know that it’s worth it anymore."

"Then you’re just a quitter," Bergie said. She didn’t wait for an answer, just pulled off her gloves and left.

Ellie fought the urge to run after Bergie and defend herself.

Chapter Eight

The funny thing about knowing the next couple of weeks were her last was that it didn’t change anything. Ellie thought maybe her time would feel sweeter, more desperate, but once her friends accepted her decision, it progressed exactly like the weeks before.

Ellie woke early in the mornings, while Emma still slept soundly in her pillow. She sleepwalked through breakfast service. She rushed through her shower to first period. She studied hard so her transfer grades would ensure she was in the right classes at her new school.

She saw Edward in the hallways and he always smiled. She waited for the ache of him to go away.

Time was supposed to change things and heal things, but it didn’t. It didn’t make the time she had with her friends feel any different. It didn’t make her feelings for Edward go away.

As Ellie cleaned the last of Friday’s dinner service, hurrying so she could have time to pack before she and the girls drove to the coast for one last weekend hurrah before Thanksgiving, she realized it was because a part of her hadn’t quite accepted that this
was
her last weekend.

She pulled off the heavy rubber gloves and rinsed her dry hands under the scalding hot water, then turned off the faucet, wiped her palms on a dry towel, and walked up the darkened path to the dorm.

"Ellie—hey."

She looked up at the sound of Lucy’s voice. She was shuffling from foot to foot as she waited next to one of the apple trees dotting the path.

"What’s up?" At least Edward was nowhere in sight.

"I have a favor to ask." She ran her hands through her dark hair. Ellie couldn’t make out the deep blue streak in the light, but she knew Lucy’s hand traveled the path of the dye from her roots to its ends.

"I’m in a hurry to get back."

"I’ll walk with you." Lucy fell into step beside Ellie. "I know you, Emma, Lizzie, and Anne are planning a trip to the coast tomorrow."

"Well, it’s our last weekend together," Ellie pointed out.

"Right—I heard some of the guys are going, too. At least, Dante is going—and even Rick is going even though Anne is going to be there."

Ellie didn’t like hearing Lucy gossip about Anne and Rick’s past—Lucy wasn’t Anne’s friend and she knew Anne hadn’t shared her feelings with Lucy. She must have heard everything second- or thirdhand.

Ellie realized she felt jealous—that Lucy would get to stay here and learn about her friends while she had to leave.

"I think Edward is invited, and I know he wants to say good-bye to you."

Ellie nodded, tight-lipped. She was fairly certain Edward was not invited.

"But he won’t go—I think he doesn’t want to leave me behind, so I was wondering . . . would it be weird if I came along?"

Ellie gaped. Lucy was inviting herself to their getaway weekend! The nerve. "It’s not my house," Ellie said. "It’s Anne’s place. Her parents are letting us use it, and I don’t want to take advantage."

"I know, I know." Lucy stepped in front of her—effectively stopping her short. "But Anne’s your friend, and if you asked . . ." She smiled hopefully. "I want to get to know you guys. School has been so busy. All of us are so busy. I haven’t gotten to know any of you. And Edward wants to say good-bye—he talks about you all the time."

"He does?" Ellie asked. "Like what?"

"Like how smart you are and how you can surf and skateboard and . . . I know he thinks of you as one of his best friends."

"We don’t really spend much time together," Ellie mumbled.

"Yeah, I know." Lucy shrugged. "I kinda feel like it’s my fault."

Ellie felt a catch in her throat. "Why would you say that?"

"Because we’ve been spending so much time together since I got here. I’ve been trying to recapture this magic we had back at home, and I can’t. I thought if we spent more time together it would help, but it didn’t. And I can’t do it, right?"

"Um . . . right? Wait . . . you can’t what?"

"I can’t recapture the magic at home. Because I’m not at home! I’m here. And so we have to make new magic here, right?"

"Uh . . . right again?"

"I haven’t made an effort to make new friends. That’s why it’s so important for me to come with you guys. Edward’s important to me. His friends are important to me, too. I want him to be able to hang out with all of us. Together. To make new memories."

A sharp sweetness twisted somewhere just behind Ellie’s ribcage. She was leaving—the least she could do was her best to be sure Edward would be happy once she was gone. "Sure. I’ll ask."

With a squeal and a clap of her hands, Lucy threw her arms around Ellie’s shoulders.

"It will be nice to have you there," Ellie said with a sigh.

* * *

"You told Lucy
what
?" Emma asked.

Ellie kept her eyes on her monitor as she typed up her final physics report. If she turned her head to look, she would only see a blonde, petite package of indignation with her hands thrown on her hips. "You heard me."

"And Anne agreed it was okay to let her stay?"

"Anne found no reason to hate Lucy if I didn’t."

"There’s one very good reason," Emma said. "She stole Edward."

"She already
had
Edward. I’m the one who would have stolen him—does that make me bad, too? No, if anything, we should be mad at Edward. Not Lucy."

"Fine," Emma said. "If you need to invite Lucy to feel better about everything—she can come. But don’t even think about inviting her to the tree."

At this, Ellie smiled and peeked up at Emma. Ellie and Lizzie had a ritual of climbing the tallest apple tree in the courtyard and screaming the school’s motto—
We Will Be Heard
—at the tops of their lungs. They had invited Emma and Anne to join their ritual, and now Emma was acting as if it belonged only to them. They had agreed to climb the tree together right before Ellie left. "I won’t invite her to the tree. I promise."

Relief eased Emma’s expression. "Good. It will be the last time we’ll all be in the tree together, you know."

"I know." It hit her like a sledgehammer—
it would be her last time in the tree
. The last time she held hands fast, fist to the sky, and screamed to the world that she was here and would not be ignored. That she had something to say.

For the first time since accepting her fate, she wondered if she was making the wrong choice.

* * *

Floor-to-ceiling windows spanned the living room from one end to the other on the second floor of Anne’s oceanfront home. Ellie breathed in the scent of the waves crashing against the pebbled sand visible just beneath the deck. She opened the French doors so the breeze ruffled through her wavy hair, and stepped outside.

It was just the kind of home she wanted to live in someday. A deck big enough to hold all her surfboards. A secluded spot where the wind whipped sand onto the wood planks between her feet so she couldn’t tell where the house ended and the beach began. Bonfires dotting the horizon. The salty, brisk air filling her lungs.

She saw a
For Sale
sign nailed to the railing.

Anne joined her on the deck after turning on the heater and all the house lights. Emma and Lizzie dropped their bags on the sofa and took the few steps onto the deck.