So Damn Beautiful (A New Adult Romance) (31 page)

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Authors: L.J. Kennedy

Tags: #romance, #coming of age, #womens fiction, #contemporary, #college, #angst, #teen romance, #bad boy, #college romance, #new adult, #fiction about art

BOOK: So Damn Beautiful (A New Adult Romance)
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My heart skipped a beat. “Oh . . . you saw
the post?” If he had, I was surprised he was acting so nonchalant
about it.

He shrugged. “Not really. I just heard it had
something to do with that Pierce guy and his show.”

I giggled nervously. Thankfully, Harrison’s
willful ignorance about my curatorship was working in his favor at
the moment. “Can we just . . . can we play it by ear?” I said
carefully. “I mean, I want to . . . I just . . .” I didn’t know how
to tell him that I was dealing with some pretty deeply felt wounds,
so I said nothing. He didn’t press for further details.

“No worries. But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop
trying to woo you,” he said irreverently. “I’m a nice guy, but I’m
also a guy.”

I sighed deeply. I wished to God that I felt
something more than a sisterly tenderness for Harrison, but, try as
I might, I couldn’t really imagine us getting horizontal in that
cavernous four-poster Victorian bed of his. When I tried to form
mental pictures, all I could see was Chip, ruddy-faced and leering,
opening Harrison’s bedroom door and cheering his fraternity brother
on. But privacy wasn’t the first and foremost consideration.
Something else entirely was taking up all my headspace, to the
extent that I could mete out only the teeniest scraps of attraction
to the guy who deserved it most.

But the night was still young. A couple hours
later, Harrison and I found ourselves at one of the campus hot
spots, a cozy but chic coffee shop that was teeming with couples
and groups of boisterous students. In the company of so many
happy-looking people, I was beginning to feel more hopeful about
the evening.

Harrison stood up from his chair. “I’m going
to use the restroom, but I’ll be right back. If the waiter comes
by, d’you mind getting me another piece of the tiramisu? I guess I
have a sweet tooth tonight.”

I nodded. “Sure thing.”

He kissed me on the cheek and walked off. I
had almost begun to ignore the constant pings my phone was getting,
when it happened: the door to the coffee shop flung open, the bells
above the door jangling angrily. I turned to see who it was, and
there was Chase.

I blinked. Once, twice, three times. At first
I thought it was a mirage or some kind of trick my brain was
playing on me, but there weren’t many other guys out there who
resembled Chase. He was dressed all in black, his hair slicked
back. He looked incredible, even put together. But the look in his
eyes as they darted around was pained and frantic. And he clearly
hadn’t shaved in days.

I was thrilled at the sight of him, before
cold dread descended and I wished I could sink into the ground.
What was he was doing here? I shifted my weight in my seat,
attempting to look inconspicuous, and I could feel his eyes
searching the entire contents of the tiny space. When they finally
settled on me, I could feel my heart pounding and my breathing
becoming shallower.

He was making a beeline straight toward
me.

As he stood over me, I didn’t know what to
say. On a certain level, it felt good to see him. His intoxicating
scent wafted to my nostrils, and I took him in like he was the last
beautiful thing on Earth. But I didn’t want him to know that. He
just stared at me, his oceanic eyes full of emotion.

“I’ve been calling you for days,” he said
quietly. All the same, people at other tables were starting to
stare in our direction.

I shook my head, still in a state of
stupefaction. “How . . . how did you find me here?”

He paused for a second. “I’ve been following
you,” he said candidly.

My heart started to beat even faster, from a
combination of anger, fear, and arousal that I seriously didn’t
want to be feeling right now. “You’ve been
following
me?
That is just . . . out of line!”

He leaned forward, placing his palms on the
table and the back of my chair, blocking me in. “Maybe, but I don’t
care,” he seethed. “You’ve been ignoring all my texts and phone
calls. If you weren’t willing to talk to me that way, what the hell
do you expect?”

I swallowed nervously, looking in the
direction of the restrooms. “Chase, you’re not being rational. And
I’m . . . I’m with someone right now. So, please, if you want to
talk, let’s do it later.”

His eyes darkened, and I could tell he was
pissed. “It’s that guy, isn’t it? Harrison?” He spat out his name
with contempt. Then his voice lowered. “Are you fucking him?”

“No! And even if I were, it’s none of your
business. Things are over between you and me!” It cut me to the
core to say that, and I could see from the slight fall of Chase’s
shoulders that it hurt him, too. His eyes, which were a dark-green
whirlwind, looked stormy.

“Annie, you have to listen to me. What I did
was fucked up, but I don’t deserve the runaround,” he said.

“And I didn’t give you the runaround,” I
said, trying to keep my voice steady and calm. “I told you that
things had to end between us. And I thought I was clear about my
reasons.”

“Bullshit!” He knocked over a glass of water,
which made me jump. People at opposite ends of the room were now
craning their necks to see what was going on.

I was shaking so hard that it took every last
ounce of my strength to say, “You’re making a scene, Chase. People
are staring at us. Now isn’t the right time.”

It was like he was in a different world and
couldn’t hear me. He raked his fingers through his hair and leaned
closer to me again. I could smell the liquor on his breath. “Annie,
I’ve been thinking about you nonstop. I can’t get you out of my
head. And I don’t want to lose you. What you saw the other
night—that isn’t me, Annie. It’s part of the old Chase, the one who
shut people out and made mistake after mistake because there was no
one watching out for him. But you . . .” His voice cracked and he
rubbed his eyes with the base of both palms, as if to hold back his
emotions. “You’re my angel, Annie. I see that now.”

I tried to sound stern, even though
everything in me felt like it was collapsing. “You should have
thought about that before you put yourself in danger, before you
almost ruined the work we’re doing. We can talk later, if and only
if it’s about the project. You already filled out the paperwork,
the check with your name on it has already been sent out, so I
trust we can be civil to each other in this final stretch,” I said
slowly.

He tightened his jaw. I could see his
knuckles blanching, but there was fire in his eyes. “Bullshit!” he
glowered. “If Quentin Pierce dropped dead tonight, I wouldn’t give
a fuck. His show is the last thing on my mind right now. And I’m
not leaving until you agree to talk to me, right here, right
now.”

My heart pounded, and the heat rose to my
chest. “I . . . I can’t. I’m with Harrison right now.”

Chase’s eyes were like burning coals. “I
don’t get it, Annie. You’re a smart girl. What are you doing with
that prepster douche? What is he giving you that I can’t? Cars,
money—all that shit is ephemeral.” He leaned in until I could
inhale his leather-and-smoke scent. “What I can give you is
real.”

“What’s going on here?”

I wanted to die. Harrison had come back to
the table, and his eyes were darting back and forth between Chase
and me. His face was drawn and tense.

Chase continued to look at me, almost
beseechingly. “Annie . . . ,” he said. “This is our chance to build
something together. And I know I’m not alone in what I felt. I
could sense it in you, too. Something woke up in both of us.”

I was terrified that Chase would say
something that would betray me to Harrison. I got up and grabbed
his arm. “Chase, you have to leave,” I hissed. “We can’t do this
now.”

“Hey, man, she’s asking you to leave, so what
are you waiting for?” Harrison put his hand on Chase’s shoulder. I
couldn’t breathe. Chase’s entire body stiffened, and he spun around
to meet Harrison, eye to eye.

“Don’t fucking touch me,
man
,” Chase
said, emphasizing the last word to imitate Harrison’s tone of
voice.

“Chase, please,” I pleaded, looking around
us. Other people in the coffee shop were staring and muttering to
each other excitedly.

“What’s your problem?” Harrison snarled. “Is
proper etiquette seriously
that
out of bounds for you? Let
me make myself more clear: if you don’t leave now, I’ll have to
make you.”

Both Harrison and Chase had their fists
clenched, and their gazes were steely and impenetrable.

“This is crazy,” I declared, more to myself
than to either of them.

Chase ignored me and gave Harrison a
disdainful look. “Who the fuck are
you
? Do you even know
this woman right here? You know how she likes to be kissed or
touched? Or fucked?”

Harrison’s face went pale, while mine went
red.

“Chase, stop it!” I barked.

But he continued to ignore me. The expression
on his face was twisted. “I didn’t think so. I was betting you
didn’t have the slightest glimmer of insight into what makes her
scream so loud her throat gets raw. Looks like I won that bet.”

Harrison gave Chase a hard push that sent him
hurtling into our table, knocking more water glasses over. A hum of
excitement swept through the room, and a clump of servers rushed
over.

I was half-expecting Chase to knock Harrison
out cold, but he only continued to glare at him. He laughed, and
the sound practically chilled me to the bone. Chase straightened up
and brushed off his shirt. His hands flexed, then fisted again. His
expression was dark, and his nostrils flared.

“Chase . . .”

He turned and looked at me. His eyes were
hard and inscrutable, but there was a shimmer of suffering that
blurred my vision and made me clutch my throat to keep the tears
from coming. “Looks like you made your choice, Goldilocks,” he said
coldly.

Before I could say anything, Chase turned
swiftly. I felt a scream rising within me, because, from the looks
of it, he was lunging for Harrison. Instead, he smashed his fist
straight into the wall next to Harrison’s head. The
brick
wall next to Harrison’s head.

I could feel a wave of nausea snaking up
through me as Chase took his hand away. It was bleeding. Harrison
also looked just as shocked as I was. At this point, patrons were
getting up out of their chairs to see what the commotion was about,
and a waiter ran over to us.

“Sir, you’re going to have to leave right
now, before the cops get here,” he addressed Chase sternly.

“Already ahead of you,” Chase said stoically.
He gave me one last, hard look, then breezed past the waiter and
out the doors, disappearing into the night.

Harrison sat down next to me, and the air
between us felt heavy and oppressive.

“What was that about?” I could tell he was
attempting to be cool and restrained, but I could hear the flurry
of questions behind his single one.

I sighed. “I . . . it’s a long story.”

Harrison was silent for a moment. “All those
things he said about you.” He shut his eyes tight, as if he were
attempting to shut out Chase’s words. “Were they true?”

I shook my head. “No. I . . . there was a
misunderstanding between us, that’s all. But I swear, there’s
nothing going on. He’s just . . . kind of excitable, I guess.” I
felt like an asshole, lying to Harrison, but what else could I
possibly have said? I wasn’t about to divulge the truth of my
relationship with Chase—especially not the most salacious parts,
which he’d openly bragged about. To do so would be not only
pointless but cruel. Not to mention I didn’t even want to start
thinking about what Chase’s words entailed—that they were true and
that Harrison would never be able to please me.

Harrison’s eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t want
you to see that guy ever again,” he pronounced coldly. “I guess I
saw the warning signs: the blog, the things Elsie was saying . .
.”

“I didn’t know about the blog until the story
was posted,” I insisted. “It was never my intention for things to
go this way.”

“I know, I know,” he replied. “I trust you,
Annie, but this is a crazy world and there are crazy people in it,
like
him
. If he ever approaches you again . . .” His voice
trailed off, and he shook his head.

“I don’t think that’s going to happen,
Harrison, not after tonight,” I assured him, grabbing his hand for
emphasis.

“If I lost you, Annie . . .”

I pulled him close to me. “You’re not going
to.”

He smiled, but his expression was pallid and
worn. “Jesus, I’ve lost my appetite.”

I paused and took a deep breath. “Me too.
What if we just went back to your place?”

He drew back slightly, somewhat startled.
“Are you . . . sure about that?”

I nodded. “I just want to forget about this
little episode. I just . . . want to feel your arms around me.” I
wasn’t exactly lying about it. I wanted the comfort of a warm body
next to mine. I just wasn’t sure if it was Harrison’s I wanted. But
I was afraid that if I didn’t go home with him, I would just find
myself wondering about Chase. I didn’t trust my capacity to make
good decisions right now, but maybe being with Harrison would take
my mind off all the bullshit I’d lived through in the last month:
the highs, the lows, the ecstasy, the pain, all of it.

Harrison nodded and brushed my lips with his.
“I would never hurt you, Annie,” he whispered, his voice trembling
slightly.

I smiled at him. “You don’t have to say it
twice. I already know.”

Chapter Twenty-Nine

As it turned out, I didn’t go home with
Harrison that night. It just didn’t feel right to me, so I feigned
a headache and ended up heading back to the dorm. Even though Chase
and I were over, there was a hollow in my heart that I knew hopping
into bed with Harrison would probably only exacerbate.

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