Snowbound Hearts (13 page)

“Yeah, I know. The girls assumed I had let everyone know that I was staying. That’s why they didn’t call you until it was all over with. If he hadn’t been there, I would have frozen to death. He drove out two days early, for no reason he could explain. He just felt compelled to get there early. If he had waited until the day he and his friends had originally scheduled, he wouldn’t have been there. They canceled the trip because of the weather.”

“Audrey, you could have broken into the cabin and started a fire. Under the circumstances, you wouldn’t have gotten into trouble.”

She could have hiked back to her cabin and probably survived, but she would have been totally miserable the whole time. “There was no firewood and no tools to cut any. I didn’t have any food. The generator was on the fritz too. He had a chainsaw and an ax with him and spent those first two days cutting wood and repairing the generator.”

“So what happened?”

“We spent the better part of three days getting to know each other. When his friends came to get us, we went our separate ways.”

Joseph cracked his knuckles, nodding slowly. “Oh, I see. He got what he wanted and said good-bye.”

“No, Dad, it wasn’t like that at all. It was my decision not to see him again. I couldn’t put my finger on the problem at first, but I finally figured it out. It was too good to be true. Everything was perfect, too perfect. We were living in a magical moment of perfection, and I knew that when it was over, it would be over forever. We would never be able to recreate that moment.”

“Honey, if it was that good, wouldn’t it have been worth giving it a try?”

“It was like a soap bubble, beautiful, wonderful, and so delicate. Once it burst, trying to recreate it, gather up all the exact same molecules of soap, water, and air, and put them back together would be impossible.”

Joseph flopped against the backrest of his chair and clapped his hands to his temples. “Audrey, maybe you couldn’t recreate the magic of that moment, but don’t you think you could have created new magical moments?”

“Dad, I was with Daniel for six years of my life. At nearly the same moment we broke up, I met another man and fell in love with him the instant I laid eyes on him. It felt real, it felt wonderful, but I know life doesn’t work that way. There is no such thing as love at first sight. I was just in a vulnerable state of mind, and I tricked myself into finding exactly what I wanted.”

Joseph leaned forward and folded his arms onto the table. “Baby, sometimes when we least expect it, we find what we need the most. I fell in love with your mother on our first date. As a matter of fact, I think I fell in love with her the first moment I saw her walk into your grandfather’s living room. She was so beautiful and graceful. I just knew she was the one. And I was right. After all these years, I’ve never changed my mind. Your grandfather said it was the same for him and Cristina’s mother, so, honey, love at first sight is real. It happens to real people. Sometimes you just know.”

“That’s how I felt about—about the guy at the cabin.”

“Well, now the question is, what are you going to do about it?”

“Nothing, it’s too late. I ruined everything when I left him. I let him believe that I was still engaged. I told him I had made a commitment I had to honor, that he should go back to his life and I was going back to mine.”

“He thinks you married Daniel? Jesus, Audrey. So how are you holding up?”

“I haven’t fallen to pieces, if that’s what you’re wondering.” She put her face into her hands to keep her father from seeing her tears. “Well, maybe just a little.”

“Audrey, I’ve always been a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Maybe you needed time to get some perspective about your situation.”

Audrey wiped her eyes, trying desperately to stop crying before she totally lost control. All the tears in the world wouldn’t change anything. She could never go back and undo her mistake. All she could do was live with it. And Daniel was still there, the same as he had always been. Most men are unfaithful at least once. Maybe it was better that he got it out of his system before they got married. His apology had been sincere, and he had promised never to go behind her back again. As long as she had known him, he had never given her any other reason not to trust him. He was always a good companion and would continue to be so, of that she had no doubt. She didn’t have to love him to have a decent life with him.

“You said you knew instantly that Mom was the one for you, but how did you know?”

“I felt different about your mother than I had about any of my other girlfriends. There were at least a couple I thought I was in love with and one I would have married, but she turned me down.”

Audrey gazed in astonishment at her father, not quite believing what she was hearing. “You proposed to some woman before you met Mom?”

“She was a very special young lady, but as soon as I met Cristina, I knew that I had never been in love before.”

Audrey folded her arms on the table and flopped her head down onto them. “Why does life have to be so complicated? I don’t know what to do. All I want is to crawl into a hole somewhere and hide.”

“Honey, you need to talk to this guy you’re so broken up over and explain everything. If nothing else, do it for your own peace of mind.”

She shook her head without raising it. “You don’t understand how bad I hurt him. I’m sure he hates me. He told me I was his dream girl. He practically begged me to give us a chance at a relationship. The expression on his face was so heartbreaking that I couldn’t even look at him. I knew I was making a mistake, but I drove away.”

“Your old man has been around a while. Everything is not always as black and white as you think. Don’t assume anything when it comes to another person’s feelings. Trust me on this, Audrey, let
him
tell you how he feels.”

“Do you know something I don’t? Sometimes you seem to know things before they happen. I’ve always wondered if you’re a little bit psychic. Uncle Lenard said that you knew Mom’s name before he told you about her. If you know he’s the one for me, please tell me.”

“I’m not psychic, sweetie. Me knowing your mother’s name was just a happy coincidence. Things like that happen sometimes, it doesn’t mean anything. If I knew this guy was Mister Right for you, I would tell you. I want nothing more than for you to be happy, but I don’t have any insight to help you. You’re just going to have to follow your heart on this.”

“So, I’m right back where I started. Daniel or...” Audrey let her last word drop, not wanting to reveal Stephen’s name to her father because of the questions it would raise.

“What’s his name? I’ll call information and see if I can get his phone number. Maybe if you talk to him, you’ll figure out what you should do.”

“I have his number, I just don’t have the guts to use it.”

Joseph pointed over his shoulder. “There’s the phone. What’s the number? I’ll dial it for you.”

Audrey chuckled. “Dad, it’s three in the morning.”

He stood and stepped over to the phone. “That’s the perfect time to call. If he’s happy to hear from you, you’ll know he cares about you. If he gets irritated that you woke him up, you’ll know you made the right decision by leaving him.”

Audrey shook her head. “Dad, this is my mess, if it gets cleaned up, I’ll have to do it by myself.”

“All right, Audrey, but don’t wait too long. He thinks you’re married. Even if he’s in love with you, he’ll move on with his life.”

Maybe moving on would be best for both of us.

***

The hot, hazy days of late summer were in full swing. Winter, with all it brutal coldness, was just a bitter memory. That gloomy, snow-covered world Stephen had left behind in the Blue Ridge Mountains was gone forever; there was no going back. August was his favorite time of year. Scantily clad women were everywhere he looked, but he couldn’t get excited about any of them. He had missed his chance for true love. While there might be another woman at some point in his life, the only one who would ever matter had gotten away.

The one constant that kept him going regardless of how bad things got was his friends. Saturday afternoon they were drinking beer and grilling out. Most of the guys were on Stephen’s back patio, but he and George were inside, chatting at the bar.

George popped the top of a beer and gulped down a big swig. “Stevie, everything is all set for the annual fishing trip. Have you fired up your boat yet?”

Stephen chugged the beer he was holding, crushed the can, and tossed it across the room into the recycling tub. “Nothing but net.” He spun around on his bar stool and stopped, facing George. “I haven’t even thought about the boat. I suppose I should check her out, just in case.”

George sucked down the last of his beer, crushed his can, and hurled it across the room. It hit the rim of the tub and bounced noisily on the hardwood floor. “Yeah, man, you don’t want to get there and find out you have problems.”

“That’s ten to zip my game, beer boy. Now scurry off and retrieve my refreshment.”

George sighed and let his shoulders slump. “You don’t seem too pumped up about the trip this time.”

“I guess I’ve got a lot on my mind, you know, work and everything.”

“You really haven’t been yourself lately, Stevie. Is there anything you need to get off your chest? Have you been diagnosed with some terminal disease or something?”

“No, but the doctor did say I need to increase my beer intake. I’m not getting enough vitamin pee.”

George stood and staggered a little, but quickly righted himself. “Well, I think I can help you with that. I was just heading to the fridge myself.”

Stephen pulled a piece of paper from his pocket, closed one eye because he couldn’t get them both to focus at the same time, and read the address he had written on it. Audrey hadn’t told him her last name or where she lived. It had taken a dozen calls to the owner of the cabin she had rented, and a gut-wrenching sob story to get the info, but he had it now, and he
had
to go see her. It would take some smooth talking to get the guys to change their fishing trip from Smith Mountain Lake to Lake Laura, but chances were that Audrey would blow him off, and he wanted several shoulders handy to cry on.

“Dorine came to see me the other night,” Stephen said.

“Yeah, that was Johnny’s doing. He was feeling bad for you and suggested that she drop by to see how you were. You know, out of us all, she likes you the best. He thought she might cheer you up.”

“Dorine is great, but—I don’t know.”

“If Dorine can’t make a man feel better, I’m not sure anything can. I heard you sent her home.”

“The way you say it sounds kind of harsh, but it wasn’t like that at all. We talked for a while, and I just told her straight up, I wasn’t in the right frame of mind.”

“Yeah, that’s what she told me between moans and gasps for breath. She was pretty disappointed with you, Stevie. It took me hours and hours to console her. Damn near killed me.”

Stephen squinted, trying unsuccessfully to focus on his wavering friend. “She understands that sometimes it takes a while for a man to get his head straight after something like—whatever the hell it was.”

George stumbled his way through the kitchen, clutching the countertop for support. “You know what they say about getting thrown off the horse.”

“Sometimes it’s better to let the horse run away so you’ll have time for the bruises on your ass to heal.”

“Well, I’m not sure
they
are all they’re cracked up to be anyway.”

“Yeah,
they
say a lot of stuff, but do we even know who they are?”

“Stevie, I know it’s not the manly thing to do, but do you want to talk about it? You never did tell us what went on while you were snowed in. It freaked us out when we saw her. She was a dead ringer for you dream girl, and none of us could figure out how it happened. It couldn’t have been a coincidence, but what else could it have been?”

“You know, I’ve been thinking about that. We’ve taken a lot of alcohol-fueled road trips, and honestly, there are months of my life that are really foggy. I know that whole days have been lost from my memory forever. I’m thinking that maybe I met Audrey before, and who knows, maybe we hit it off. It could be that we had a fling, and I split, you know, hurt her. I think maybe she was waiting for me to remember her. That would explain all the weirdness at the cabin and the dream girl thing too. I could have a subconscious memory of her.”

George stood staring at the refrigerator like he had never seen one before. “That sounds plausible. Should we run that theory by the rest of the guys, maybe jog some memories loose?”

Stephen threw his hands into the air. “Grab the handle and pull.”

George opened the door and grinned. “Hey, there’s beers in here. You want one? It’ll help you forget about Red.” George grabbed out two beers and staggered back toward the bar.

“Look, I appreciate everyone being concerned about me, but I’m okay. I know me and Audrey weren’t a real couple, but it feels like a breakup anyway. It’s nothing I haven’t been through before. We’ve all been through it, and we always survive, so I’ll be fine. I got knocked for a really big loop, and I just need some time to get my balance back.”

George stopped midway, stepped sideways, and held out his arms for a moment before continuing on. “Whatever it was, we just want the old Stevie back.”

“It was what it was, and even thought I don’t know what it was, that’s all it was,” Stephen said.

“And the sad part is,” George said, setting the beers onto the bar, “I understood that. Do you think we’ve had too many of these?” He popped the top and held his beer poised to take a swig.

“Nah,” they both said simultaneously.

Someone put on Sinatra, “As Time Goes By.”

“Oh, what the hell?” Stephen asked. “No Old Blue Eyes today, unless Eddie has blue eyes.” He hurried to the stereo, took off Sinatra, and popped in an old Iron Maiden CD. He jumped up onto the coffee table and to the cheers of his inebriated friends, did a ridiculous air guitar routine along with the first track.