Snow Bound: The Complete Story (14 page)

When my shudders relaxed, she pulled her mouth away from me. "And that's what a relationship with me is about, too," she said. I could feel the pleasure in her voice.

She slithered back out from under me. "Lie down," she ordered. I collapsed to the bed, breathing heavily through my nose. Then her hands were at my head and I felt her unbuckle the gag. She removed it gently from my mouth.

"Oh Sarah," I said. "Oh Sarah."

"Mine," she said.

"Yours," I agreed.

She rolled me onto my back and attacked my mouth with hers, her tongue invading thoroughly. She tasted like me, and I moaned against her. Finally she broke the kiss.

"Give me your hands," she ordered. I did, and she unlatched my wrists. "The blindfold stays until morning. You may do anything you want to pleasure me."

Judging by her screams and shudders, I succeeded in pleasing her.

* * *

Other than the blindfold, she kept me naked during dinner. She pulled on a pair of undies. "Yours, in case you're wondering," she said.

I laughed.

She led me into the kitchen and set me on a stool.

"I made stew," she said. "Comfort food." She giggled. "I'll have to feed you."

I heard her putter in the kitchen.

"There's meat, and potatos, lots of potatoes and carrots. And parsnips. Do you like parsnips?"

"Yes," I told her. "But I've never had them in stew."

"And bread. I bought bread. No greens today. But we have fixings for salad for tomorrow."

I listened as she put the groceries away that I bought.

"Slave."

"Yes, Sarah?"

"I never asked you. Do you want a relationship?"

"Yes! I love you."

"That's lust," she said, laughing.

"That too," I told her. "But I know the difference."

"Slave," she said. "I love you too. Allison."

She walked over and kissed me thoroughly. We both tasted like the other. "I like tasting myself on your lips," she told me.

"Hold me?" I asked.

She wrapped her arms around me and I laid my head on her shoulder. She held me like that for a while then pulled away. "I have to stir or it's going to burn on the bottom while I'm reheating it."

She stepped away, and I heard her at the stove, stirring. "What have you been doing for the last two weeks?"

"Thinking about you," I said. "And crying a lot."

"I'm sorry." She paused. "When I couldn't get you out of my head, I knew I'd be back, if you would have me. I was afraid you would come to your senses."

"I have," I told her. "I'll do anything required to make this work."

She laughed.

I heard her open cupboard doors. She carried things to the dining room table then fetched me and led me to a chair. She had me sit sideways with her in another chair, sitting facing me.

"Open for the choo-choo," she said, giggling.

I opened my mouth obediently. She placed a small amount of stew in my mouth. I closed my lips around the spoon.

"Oh, that's really good," I told her.

"I'm just making sure you have plenty of energy. I have plans for you."

She alternated feeding me and herself.

"There is desert, too," she said. "I made lemon bars. Making them with my mother is one of my few fond memories from growing up."

"Was she that bad?"

Sarah was silent for a moment. I thought I'd made a mistake asking. "No," she said. "She just wasn't there much. My aunt raised me more than she did."

"Did you like your aunt?"

"No."

The tone suggested I shouldn't ask anything further. We were quiet for a while.

"Allison," she eventually said quietly.

"I'm sorry."

"No. That's not what I was going to say. Just don't push, okay? It'll all come out eventually."

"Sarah? Are you crying?"

"No."

"Oh honey." She was crying.

She let me pull her into my arms and laid her head against my shoulder.

"No questions," she said.

She didn't stay in my arms very long before she pulled away. "It was a long time ago," she said. "None of this. This is going to be a good weekend just about us."

"I love you," I told her.

She kissed me. Her lips were salty.

"You barely know me," she said. "That's lust talking. No hush. I'm going to go clean myself up."

She disappeared into the bathroom but wasn't gone very long. "All better," she said cheerfully. "There's a little more stew left. Did you want another bowl?"

"Maybe a little bread in the juice," I asked.

After dinner she pulled me to the living room. We sat on the sofa. I felt silly with the blindfold. I told her that.

"I would really like to see you," I told her.

She didn't say anything right away. "I'm sorry," she said eventually. "You're not submissive enough. You're pushing."

I lowered my head, not sure what to say.

"Allison," she said. "You need to surrender to me. You keep trying to take control. The only thing I want you thinking about is surrendering to me."

I slipped off the sofa and knelt in front of her, lowering my head in her lap. She stroked my head and shoulders for a while. Her touch was divine. I told her that.

"You see?" she said. "Surrendering to me feels good."

"It does," I agreed. "I'm sorry it's just... I didn't think you were coming back."

"Allison," she said. "The scared part of me is just under the surface. It's so close, and it's everything I have to push her away. She's so afraid. She has so much reason to be afraid."

We stayed like that for a while, me kneeling, bent over, my head in her lap, her half hugging me. Finally she said, "I want to talk. Get back up here. You can sit on the sofa or you can lie with your head in my lap."

"I'd like that last one," I said.

She helped me arrange myself on the sofa, my head in her lap. She caressed my face while we talked.

"Tell me about this place in the summer," Sarah said. "Are there loons?"

"Yes," I told her.

"I love their cry. They're so mean to the other waterfowl, but I love their cry at night."

"What do you mean about the other waterfowl."

"They compete for the same food, so the loons try to push out the ducks." She paused. "Let's not talk about that. Do you fish?"

"I used to, a long time ago on a different lake," I told her. "With my grandfather. He died. Some of the men who come up go fishing. I make them take their wives and order them to handle all the slimy parts. I pull them aside and tell them it's their responsibility to make sure their wives have a nice time. If they have a good enough time, they're more likely to go again."

"I bet half the men use fishing to get away from their wives."

I laughed. "That is the habit. It's a horrible habit. You can't be around the same person twenty-four hours a day for years, but they come on a couples retreat. They should focus on their wives. Or their husbands."

"Husbands?"

I grinned at her. "I run LGBT groups too."

"Ohhh," she said. She was silent. "You know, I never really have spent much time around other gay or lesbian couples. I've been pretty solo." She paused. "Do your straight clients know?"

"I make sure they know my orientation," I told her. "Homophobes piss me off."

"Good for you!" she said. She leaned down and kissed me. "I love you, too, Allison."

"I thought it was lust."

She giggled.

"I don't come up very often in the winter," I told her. "I don't really know how to enjoy it."

"You need to buy some cross country skis. And maybe a warmer, all be it less stylish parka."

I laughed. "Maybe." I paused. "I didn't see any skis in your car."

"I'm pretty much a minimalist," she said. She paused. "That's how I say I can't afford them."

"I'll buy two pairs then," I offered.

"No."

Before I could protest, she leaned over and kissed me again. She broke the kiss then immediately put her hand gently over my lips. "No buying me anything. You can take me to dinners. That's all. For now."

"For now?"

"For now."

I smiled up at her. "So we can learn to cross country ski next year."

She caressed my face again.

"Do you bring clients here in the winter?"

"Not historically," I said. "But I'm going to do a Valentine's Day event here. I'm charging an arm and a leg. Emily and Jim are going to help." I paused. "I hope you'll be here, too."

"Maybe. We'll see. Don't pressure me."

"No pressure," I agreed. "Valentine's Day is on a Thursday this year. The couples are all told they need to be here Wednesday night and stay through the weekend. They're taking Thursday and Friday off work. I had one couple beg to be allowed to drive up early on Thursday. Their daughter has a recital Wednesday night. They promised to be here by eleven."

"Any gay couples?" she asked.

"One. Friends. They're coming for free in exchange for helping with dinners."

"So three paying couples?"

"Yes. I let Emily use the cabin for some of her events in exchange for her helping me with a few of mine each year. I'm making a lot of money on this one."

"Is that important to you? The money?"

I didn't say anything right away.

"I'm not criticizing," she said from above me. "I'm trying to understand."

"I've never asked myself that," I told her. "It's not the money. It's... " I paused, not sure how to put it. "It's a way of telling me they value what I'm giving them. If someone is willing to pay a lot of money, it means I'm giving them something valuable. It's not the money, it's the ego."

She didn't say anything, but she caressed my face.

"There's more," I told her. "I grew up poor. I've accomplished what I've accomplished, and it's all been on my own. No man to lean on. No parents giving me the moon. I'm proud of that. Is that wrong?"

"No," she said. "I'm proud of my book covers. I'm proud I've gotten where I am from where I've been. I measure it differently." She paused. "Did you tell Emily how kinky I was with you?"

"Yes. Is that okay?"

She laughed. "Yes. I was just curious. What did she say?"

"Honestly, I don't remember. I was pretty upset at the time. But Jim saw the pictures and told me you were in love with me."

"Lust."

I laughed.

"Oh," she said. "It's snowing."

"Really?"

"No, you can't look." But she bent down and kissed me again.

After the kiss, I told her, "I told Emily about the phone sex."

Sarah laughed. "And the ice?"

"No. I didn't offer details."

"If you play your cards right, there will be more phone sex in your future. I'll send you encrypted photos and not tell you the password until we're on the phone together."

"When I'm at work?"

"No, when you're at home."

"Won't you be there?"

She was quiet. "No. I won't move to the city. I might visit."

"I thought-"

She put her hand over my mouth again, hushing me.

"Right now, I want to focus on this weekend," she said. "I don't think you can be submissive at home. And I'll run."

I didn't say anything.

"All right?" she asked.

"No," I said. "Not long term."

"For now," Sarah said, caressing my face. "For now, we have weekends. And phone sex, if you're really really good."

I smiled faintly at her.

"Tell me that's enough," she said.

"It's not," I told her.

"Allison..."

"Wait, please, Sarah," I said. "Let me think."

We sat quietly. She had stopped caressing me.

"Sarah, please caress me."

"Cheeky slave," she said. But she began caressing my face again.

I thought about it for a while. "Sarah, every minute of every day isn't going to be enough. I'm not pressuring you for more. But I can never be close enough to you. I can never have enough of you. However, I am very happy to share whatever time you have for me. It will never be enough, but it will be enough, if that makes sense."

She leaned down and kissed me.

"Do you like lemon bars, slave?" she asked.

I laughed. "I don't know. I bet I like yours."

"Sit up," she ordered, helping me. "Wait here."

She puttered in the kitchen for a several minutes then came back. "I have tea and lemon bars," she said. She set things down on the table, making two trips. "The tea needs to steep. I wonder what I can do with you while we're waiting."

She crawled onto my lap, straddling me, and began kissing me, one hand on my breast. I moaned into the kiss. She broke the kiss and said, "You owe me three more orgasms tonight. Chain orgasms don't count for more than one, but you do get extra credit points for them."

I laughed, wrapping my arms around her and hugging her.

She slipped off my lap and sat next to me. "Here's your tea," she said. I held out my hands and she slipped a mug into them. I took a sip. "Open your mouth," she ordered.

I obeyed, and she slipped a small lemon bar into them." It was wonderful. Very light and, well, lemony.

"Sarah, that's wonderful," I told her after I ate it.

"I'm glad you like them," she said. "I made an entire pan, and there are just the two of us." She paused. "We won't finish them. You can share them with your clients next week."

She leaned against me while we drank tea and ate her lemon bars. Then she lay down with her head in my lap for a while. "Well me about growing up," she told me.

"May I ask a question first?"

She reached up and caressed my arm. "Only if you promise not to keep your hands to yourself."

I laughed and began touching her while we talked.

"How far back in your history is it safe to ask about? Last week?"

"Hmm. Keep caressing and I'll tell you." We stayed like that for a minute. "Twenty-one," she said. "Four years ago. Nothing before. And nothing like, what happened when I turned twenty-one."

"Mom and Dad divorced when I was four," I told her. "He basically skipped out leaving my mom and little brother behind. He tried to reconnect a few times after I was an adult, but I don't want anything to do with him. My brother doesn't, either." I told her about growing up for a while.