Snow Angel (25 page)

Jane looked at Ben and smiled. “It looks like we will be climbing some mountains after all.”

Ben grinned boyishly back. “I wouldn't miss it for the world, dear wife. Not for the world.”

Noah was in a hurry to get his bride home. They had only stayed long enough to see the post cleaned up from the wedding party and back in running order before loading up his horse and the new horse purchased for Elizabeth before starting the trek back home. He repeatedly told himself that he was doing the right thing. It would only upset Elizabeth if she knew about the telegram.

As they rounded a bend, Noah urged his mount up the last slope of the journey. Looking back at Elizabeth's horse, he checked the baggage. They had loaded down both steeds with supplies and all of Elizabeth's belongings. She was coming home with him to stay. “Almost there,” he called back happily.

She nodded her head in response, tapping her horse with her heels to spur her forward and catch up. They passed the waterfalls above the upper end of the basin and came into a breathtaking grassy meadow where wildflowers danced in the breeze, unseen by anyone save God and, now, them. Noah hoped to teach Elizabeth all their names—purple mountain saxifrage, bluebells, yellow buttercups, heather, wild roses, and flowering berry shrubs dotting the land around Noah's
cabin—but not yet. That would all come in time. Noah inhaled the sweet fragrances of home and reined in to wait for Elizabeth. She stopped beside him and looked where he was pointing.

“We're here,” she said with surprise. “I thought it would take much longer.”

“It's a quicker trip in the summer with the horses.”

Elizabeth took a deep breath and smiled, happiness in her eyes. “It looks so different now, without all of the snow.”

“You asked if we had flowers and I don't think I answered you at the time, but wildflowers grow all over the mountain in the summer. Do you like them?”

Elizabeth gazed out over the expanse. “I like that
we
have flowers,” she repeated softly, wonder in her voice, “like a rainbow on the ground.” She gazed up at him, something new shining in her eyes, something he hadn't seen there before. “I love that you speak as if we share it now.”

Noah reached over and kissed her. “We do. What's mine is yours.” He grinned wolfishly and added, “And what's yours is mine.”

“But I don't have anything!”

“Oh yes, you do.” He could tell when she finally understood from the pink in her cheeks. Laughing, he motioned her to follow him, nudging his horse into a gallop. In fact, he loved everything about her. Noah smiled, thanking God silently for it all, feeling good to be back on his land in the height of its summer glory, with the woman he loved beside him to share it.

* * *

NOON THE NEXT day, Noah headed back to the cabin to grab some dinner after a busy afternoon of checking his traps.
He tried to shake off the disquiet that hounded him. Something was not quite right with his wife, with this marriage. Their nights together had been filled with passion, and their days promised to settle into a comfortable routine, but she … again, he couldn't say exactly what it was, but something about her, or inside her, was missing. She was holding something back. Sometimes, it felt like she was just going through the motions of trying to please him. Determined to fix things, to help her trust him more, he reached for the doorknob. It was then, while he was turning the knob, that he heard the sound of approaching horses. Turning, he shielded his eyes from the sun and was startled to see Will Collins riding up with two other city-looking folks. They looked to be in a hurry, their horses tired. Noah turned from the door with an odd feeling in his gut as he watched them approach.

Will dismounted first and walked over to Noah, a big smile on his face. He grasped Noah's hand in a firm shake and clapped him on the shoulder. “You'll never guess who I've brought, Noah. Is Elizabeth around?”

Noah felt his chest tighten even more. Something told him that the next few moments would change his life. “She's in the cabin. Who are they, Will?”

The man had helped the lady dismount. Noah watched as they crossed toward him. The man was a tall, stately looking gentleman with dark hair, graying a little at the temples, expensively and impeccably dressed. He extended his hand, which Noah took in a firm grasp, the man's eyes warm and friendly. Will made the introductions.

“Noah, this is Ben Rhodes. He's a lawyer from New York City.”

Will moved over to let the woman in. She held out a small hand and smiled at him. “Hello, I'm Jane Rhodes.”

Noah felt his heart miss a beat. His breath quickened as he stretched out his big hand toward her, feeling awkward in the presence of her elegance.

He knew who this woman was.

He was just taking her hand when the cabin door opened and out stepped Elizabeth.

“Noah, are you … ?”

Her voice trailed off as she saw their visitors.

They turned as one and looked at her. Noah heard a muffled sound from the woman behind him. He looked from his wife to this Jane Rhodes, this stranger and yet, this known woman. Time seemed to slow and they all stood frozen, staring between the two women who were so alike it was startling. He watched as Jane slowly walked toward Elizabeth, her elegant skirt skimming the grass, and stopped in front of her, their skirts just inches away.

The midafternoon sun shone ruthlessly down on them as they looked at each other, illuminating, not even a thread of a shadow dimming the brightness of the scene. It was truth, finally come to light.

Then they heard Jane's voice, choked but soft, as she finally spoke.

“Elizabeth … it
is
you.” One of her hands reached up to cover her mouth for a moment as she stood, rooted and entranced. Then she reached out, tentatively afraid but sure, to touch Elizabeth's shoulder. “I have seen your face again,” she breathed. “I have finally found you.”

* * *

Elizabeth stood in the woman's rapt presence, this woman whose likeness was frightening, and fought the battle of self-possession. Something within her wanted to crumble—cave in to the knowledge that she had a mother, give in to the feelings that pounded against the walls of her heart. But another part of her held to the mortar, knowing that happy endings only occurred in fairy tales. She had never believed in those.

The woman stepped closer, learning her face like God knew Adam's when He molded it from the dust, the fierce love in it refusing to let Elizabeth look away, reject it as something unreal. And as she looked back she realized it was like looking into a mirror of the future. Where her skin was young and plumb, this women's had thinned, her face more chiseled though still lovely. They had the same coloring, the same cheekbones, the same lips, the same eyebrows, and the same eyes. Those deep brown eyes that almost melded with the black pupils. Eyes so dark they were easy to make unreadable, but these eyes were anything but that—these mother eyes were filled with the culmination of a woman who had waited for this moment her whole life. There was no lie Elizabeth could tell herself to explain it. There was only stark truth: love.

Then Elizabeth felt the woman reach up and touch the curve of her cheek, the slant of her brow, her hand hovering, like a blind man's, wanting to explore but hesitant, knowing that another soul shared this moment and that she needed permission. She settled for words. “I have finally found you … my Elizabeth.”

Her voice broke, causing tears to spring to Elizabeth's eyes. What
had
she found?
What had she found?
her heart wailed.

Elizabeth stared at her, unable to fully believe what she was hearing. And yet, something within her knew. Something recognized this as the woman who had given birth to her and been a mother to her for a short time.

Anger rose strong and unbidden. Why? Why had she been cheated of this woman? Her past, in all its unholy glory, rushed back over her.

“Who are you?” she heard herself whisper in harsh staccato, wishing these onlookers would vanish.

“Elizabeth … I'm your mother,” this beautiful, stately woman pronounced. “I'm your mother.” She was shaking her head, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Suddenly, a memory came back of being rocked and sung to, of the song Noah had sung in his cabin that first day with him. Then she knew for certain. Elizabeth looked to Noah and saw his shocked amazement, her eyes swept to Will, someone who knew the face of honesty, and she saw his approval, and then she glanced at the stranger-man who had come with this woman and saw … oh God … she saw such hope in his eyes. He loved this woman so much. He wanted so much that she would accept her. She looked back at the dark-eyed woman and felt such a tumult of confusion—a warmth, a melting in her chest, and a deep denial, an anger. Could she prove it? “The song. Do you remember the song you used to sing to me?”

Jane smiled through her tears. “You remember that? Oh, Elizabeth, do you remember me?” She laughed. It didn't sound like the kind of laugh that would come from such a
fragile-looking creature; it sounded hard-won and righteous, ringing all the way through heaven, it was so sure and strong.

* * *

SHE BEGAN TO sing it aloud and loud, with everyone looking on, in the gentle summer breeze filled with the scents of Noah's flowers. With Elizabeth's hand clasped in hers, she sang with all her might.

A victory lullaby hymn.

This mother held nothing back, singing while her gaze roved the curves and hollows of Elizabeth's face like sunlight, filled with life and warmth and truth. It reached her, reached deep into her doubtful, fearful heart, that song, that look, until there were tears on both their faces.

When it was finished there was a moment of stunned stillness. It was as if even the birds dared not speak due to the momentous occasion.

Jane broke the silence with a declaration: “I didn't give you away willingly, Elizabeth.” She squeezed Elizabeth's hand tightly in her own. “I've been looking for you for your whole life. I've been waiting for this moment my whole life. I wanted you back.”

Elizabeth could only shake her head, not understanding.

Jane demanded her eyes, her full attention. Her gaze was unrelentingly fierce. “I love you. I've always loved you. I didn't give you to that orphanage willingly. You are my daughter.
You are mine
.”

Elizabeth could only shake her head, fighting the tears, fighting the caving-in feeling. How could she believe it? She
shook her head at this beautiful woman, unable to stop the tears from escaping down her cheeks.

“It's true,” Jane asserted. “I know it must be hard for you to believe. Dear God, I can only imagine all you've been through, and I hate it too, but we're here now, Elizabeth.” She stopped and breathed deep, a look of full joy on her face. “I've found you.”

She squeezed her hand again so hard it hurt, but Elizabeth welcomed the pain, welcomed this feeling of reality intruding on this unreal scene.

“I'll never let you go again. Never.”

Again that fierceness, and Elizabeth recognized it. More than the physical resemblance, more than the faint memories, Elizabeth knew that
fierceness
—it was what had kept her alive for the past twenty years. This woman was her mother … and she could only love her beyond all reasonable thought.

* * *

THE FIRE HAD died down, but everyone was too emotionally drained to get up and replenish it. Elizabeth looked down at her hand for the hundredth time in the last hour to see her mother's there clasping it. Then she looked up to see this woman's face, smiling at her with so much love shining from her eyes, and then she would start crying all over again. It had taken all evening, but she had told them everything. She'd started from as far back as she could remember, in the orphanages, and had told of every memory she could recall. Then she'd told of her adoption and Henry and Margaret. There wasn't any self-pity in her voice, just bare facts. She hadn't left anything
out. She told of the murder, her escape, and then her struggle to make a living.

And then she'd told them about Ross. Her mother had squeezed her hand so hard during that time that Elizabeth had had to wince before Jane realized what she was doing. There had been no condemnation from anyone. They said they admired her courage. Ben and Jane had told them everything they had learned about Ross from Margaret and Henry Dunning, and how they had been forced to turn the Dunnings over to the authorities. Ben assured Elizabeth she would have no further trouble from them or the law.

Noah helped fill in the gaps, once she told about booking passage to Alaska. How he'd found her on his doorstep, how he'd kept her alive that night, breathing his life into her. Hearing him tell it had made her want to fall in love with him all over again.

She hadn't told a single lie or embellished a single truth. She had bared her soul to them, and it was good. She felt whole somehow, and clean.

* * *

THE NEXT MORNING, Jane and Ben asked if they could stay awhile. Jane clasped Noah's arm after breakfast and said with a twinkle in her deep brown eyes, “I know you two are newly wedded, Noah, but you'll have to bear our company for a little while. I've waited much longer for her than you have.”

Noah smiled down at her and thought that Elizabeth would look just this way when she was older. “You're welcome
to move in. You've transformed her. She has needed you for a very long time.”

Jane laughed. “I doubt you will be saying that after a few weeks, but we'll see. We'll see.”

They soon settled into a routine. Ben was interested in learning about everything Noah did and gave him advice on investments and expansion for the future. Jane spent every waking hour with Elizabeth. They talked and laughed and sewed and cooked. Noah was happy to see Jane teach Elizabeth some of the basics of cooking. Sometimes, while they were occupied, Noah would see Jane stop and just stare at Elizabeth's face as if she was memorizing it. He didn't think he could fathom the pain the separation had caused them, but he was glad to be a part of the joy now that they were reunited. The fact hadn't escaped him that it was going to be hard on them both when the Rhodes left, maybe impossible.