Sneaks (19 page)

“What?”

“You’re not trying to convince me. You’re trying to convince you. I can hear it in your voice. Oh, Mac, your father – and Ian – they won’t cancel the marriage, will they?”

He wouldn’t answer me but bent one knee up and rested his elbow on it.

“You could do worse. She’s very pretty.”

The corner of Mac’s mouth quirked.

“I need to try to explain something to ye, Kally.”

“Okay.”

“Be patient with me, mind? I’ve never said such words to a lass.” I nodded. “I wanted to explain it last night after we kissed,” He looked at me with a smile and pink cheeks. “But I dinna ken if I have the words.”

“Please try.”

“Isla is a beauty, of course, and for awhile something made my eyes want to stay on her.”

I nodded again.

“Weel, I ken that our fathers were planning on our marriage, so I ken we’d have to get along fine. I did what I thought I was supposed to do. She was fine with talking, too. We’d played together as bairns, but now that we were older I ken we’d have to be more than playmates. But as we talked and then as we spent more time together, there was no a thing that made me look forward to being with her.”

“You got sick of her?” 

“No, I just never got truly interested in her. Ah, lass, I’ve got to tell ye something and I’m afraid it will scare ye and send ye away.”

“Well, better now than later, huh?”

“I suppose.”

“Go ahead.”

“I’ve never dwelled on notions of courting much. Since about thirteen I’ve enjoyed looking at the girls and have wondered more and more about them.” He scratched his head. “I guess I was happy that Isla was pretty. I guess I figured that was a good place to start. But, though I found I wanted to look at her, after a while, there was not a thing to keep my eyes her direction.”

“You weren’t attracted to her?”

“I guess that’s a way to say it, but that’s not the part that will scare ye.”

I nodded again.

“I’ve always ken there was someone I was supposed to spend my life with. I’ve had dreams about her – but never what she looked like, just the way she made me feel. I’ve had dreams so real that even as I slept I could feel what I was supposed to feel. It was a wide and deep something that was right here.” He touched his chest and looked at me with steady eyes. “It was so big in my dreams that for some time I thought it was loss, but it wasna loss, it was discovery.”

“Oh,” I said weakly.

“When I saw ye that night, asleep by the boulder, something carved through my chest and I realized that …” Mac stopped speaking.

I sat up on my knees and put my finger gently to his lips. I wasn’t quite ready to hear the next words.

“You don’t know anything for sure, yet, Mac.”

“I ken that I’m not going to marry Isla, but ye have to ken, Kally, that my family won’t be so easy to convince. It may take some time.”

“Time?” If he only knew. 

“Aye. Ye are different, Kally, do ye know that?” He traced the lines on my hand with his fingertip.

“I know.”

“Of course ye do. See, I’m not good with the words.”

“I think you’re great with the words. You know, my grandmother told me once that where she was from people didn’t even think about getting married until they were much older than seventeen and eighteen. She didn’t get married until she was almost thirty.” “I canna imagine. That seems so old.”

“Yeah, to me too, but she also got to choose who she wanted to marry. She dated lots of different boys. She said that when she met my grandfather, she just ‘knew’ he was the right one for her.”

Mac took my hand. “That’s what I think I’m trying to say. I just ken, Kally. I just ken.”

“Things are different, though. Like you said, I’m different.”

“But ye have to ken that when I saw ye in the dark that night, I couldn’t really see what ye looked like, but I ken what I felt, and it was that deep something in my chest. It was then that I realized that it wasna loss, it was discovery.”

“Oh,” I said.

“That doesna scare ye?”

“It scares me to death. But in a good way.” 

His finger traced my jawline as his hand moved to the back of my neck and he pulled me to him in another kiss.

I participated willingly. The kiss was more confident than the one the night before and even more wonderful.

He pulled his lips from mine but still held me at my neck. I didn’t know when I’d moved to sitting on his lap, but there I was as his lips moved over my check and underneath my ear.

“Ye might have been the first one who found me in the woods, but ye are my discovery, Kally. Ye are the one, I’m sure of it,” he whispered in my ear.

I felt his lips move to my neck as I put my hands on his chest. I could feel his heart pound, or was that mine?  He moved back up to my lips. We found each other again, this time our lips fitting together so perfectly, that I wondered if we’d ever have to stop or could we just live out the rest of our lives like this, combined at the mouths.

Instinctively, and in a hormone-induced state, I made my way to the quilt and pulled Mac down with me. He caught his weight with his arms and grumbled something. I reluctantly pulled my lips away from his.

“What?” I asked, not meaning to sound so impatient.

“Kally, I never …” he said, his eyes bright and clear.

I smiled. “Really? That’s great news!”

“Aye?” He smiled, too.

“Me either,” I said as I strained to get my lips back to his. I wasn’t supposed to even think about such things until I got married.

“Do ye think we ought to …?”

“What?”

“I dinna ken, really, but…” It was my turn to cut his speech off with my lips. I was out of control and I liked it.

His arms began to relax and I began to feel his weight.

Abruptly, he pulled away and jumped up.

“Oh, Mac, I’m sorry,” I said.

He had turned away and looked like he was going to pounce on something other than me. He glanced back quickly. “No, Kally, it isna ye. Stay there.”

I sat up and looked at the wolf that sat watching us, not twenty feet away.

We had an audience.

The wolf didn’t move as Mac stood still, a small knife in his hand. I wondered where the knife had been hidden. I stood but stayed behind him as I watched the animal’s too human eyes, and stared at the mark on its forehead.

“I swear, that’s the one, the one that had you.”

“That canna be possible, Kally. It’s been sixteen years, remember? Neither ye nor Corc has seen that wolf again.”

I did remember, but I still was almost a hundred percent sure this was the same animal. What was and wasn’t possible had been up for negotiation as of late, anyway. 

“Do we run?” I asked.

“No. I’m sure she’ll stay away, but just in case, keep yerself where ye are.”

I did. As big as the wolf was, I knew that Mac could handle her if she attacked. I knew I didn’t stand a chance. As a matter of fact I currently wondered how I’d managed to save the baby version of Mac the last time. 

She looked at us, both of us. It was as if she glanced back and forth between our eyes. She didn’t look as though she was evaluating a meal, but like she was simply curious.

Mac’s body relaxed. “Get on out of here with ye,” he said.

Surprisingly, the wolf smiled – I didn’t know what else to call it – and turned and ran up the hill and out of sight.

“That was strange,” I said.

“Aye, I suppose,” Mac said as he looked after her.

Finally, he turned to me, his face sheepish as he rubbed at his jaw. “Perhaps it was for the best, aye?”

“I suppose.” I’d gotten carried away. “I’m sorry about that. I . . . I just . . .”

“Och, no need, lass. I enjoyed every second of it. And I’d like for us to, weel, ye ken, but I dinna think this was the right time.” He helped me to my feet. 

“Probably not,” I sighed. “When do you suppose that will be?”

Mac laughed and put his hand very gently on the back of my head. He pulled me to him, though careful to only allow our lips to touch this time, and kissed me quickly. “I guess I dinna ken, exactly. Hopefully, ye wilna be going anywhere soon.”

“Not on purpose.” A sense of foreboding made me shiver.

“Ye’re cold?” Mac hugged me close. My ear was to his chest and this time I was sure I heard his heart beat. It was strong and sure and his arms fit perfectly around me.

“I’m fine,” I sighed. “We’d probably better get back to the castle. Those darn wolves anyway.”

“Weel, if it weren’t for the wicked creatures, ye and I might not have met, Aye?”

“True.”

“Come on, let’s go back.”

Go back?

I stood still and looked at him. There might be no going back at this point. I was suddenly deeper into this time than I was my own. And my being here wasn’t secure. If the chain even broke on its own, I would probably fly back to 2185. I’d be happy to see my mom, but I was so into where and when I was that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to live without these people, live without Mac.

And what if Mac did end up marrying Isla. Did I want to go home then?

I wasn’t sure.

“Mac, really, maybe I should leave?”

“What? No, never,” he said. “Ye promised me ye wouldna.”

“On purpose. I promised I wouldn’t leave on purpose. But think about it, maybe it’s not good that I’m here. I’m in the way.”

“Kally. No, please dinna even think that way.”

“You father might ask me to leave.”

“He wouldna do that. Ever.”

“But he might want me to make that decision on my own.”

Mac’s eyes widened and he bit at his lip. This was the first time I thought he looked his young age. He wasn’t sure and confident. A part of me liked seeing that, but another part of me didn’t want him as scared as I was. He snapped back to his normal self quickly.

“Kally, ye’ll stay as long as ye want. No one will ask ye to leave, and I promise that no one wants ye to leave. They might think ye will leave anyway. All ye’ll need to do is prove them wrong.”

He held out his hand.

I held on tightly, probably too tightly as we made our way back to the castle.

 Una greeted us in the courtyard. She glanced at us both and her face fell into understanding.

“Ye didna finish the clocks, lass. And ye’ve things to do, Mac.”

“Una, she doesna have to,” Mac began.

“No, Mac, I do. I want to,” I said.

“All right, then. I . . . we’ll talk later.”

“Yes,” I reluctantly peeled my fingers from his.

“A’ thioraidh.” Una rolled her eyes.

*****

Dinner wasn’t a formal occasion. Instead, everyone seemed to have something to do, so I ate with Una at my work table in the kitchen.

I didn’t think I’d ever get tired of homemade thick bread and creamy butter, so that was my main course, but Una insisted I eat some carrots and some meat. I thought it was duck, but I didn’t ask.

I trusted this wiry, bird-like woman and I had no one else I thought I could ask, so when we were alone, I said, “Should I leave?”

“What good would that do?” she asked.

“I’d be out of the way. If Mac is forced to marry Isla, I won’t have to see it. The land dispute might be resolved. Should I go?”

Una smiled. “Sometimes, just because there’d be fewer problems doesn’t mean it’s the right thing.”

I knew I’d be less happy.

“Let it work itself out, lass. If ye leave, ye’ll never ken for sure. Besides, where would ye go?”

“Home.”

“Where’s that?”

“Very far away.”

“It must be a magical land, yer home. A place where no one gets older and they wear strange clothes.”

“Everyone gets older, but we do all wear the same sorts of clothes,” I said.

She looked at me with her inquisitive Una eyes. “I dinna understand who ye are and where ye came from, Kally, but unlike the others, I’m not so sure I want to. Ye’re here now. Ye need to make the best of it. Speaking of making the best of it.” She raised her eyebrows toward the kitchen entrance.

“Una, Kally,” Mac said. He smiled easily, as though nothing horrible had happened recently.

“Lad,” Una said as she stood and took her plate and put it on the long counter. “I ken we’d see ye soon enough.” 

“Ye done with yer clocks?” he said to me.

“For the day.”

“Will ye come with me out to the courtyard?”

“Sure.” I took my plate to the counter too.

Una put her hands on my shoulders. “Lass, live in the moment if ye can.”

I nodded. I thought I knew what she meant but I wasn’t totally sure.

Once out of the kitchen, Mac grabbed my hand and ran out to the courtyard; the same place I’d left from the time before. I’d been in the courtyard many times, but as the sun sat low on the horizon, a sudden sense of foreboding chilled my limbs. I held on tighter to his hand.