Sneak Attack (11 page)

If I hadn’t known he loved me more than anything—I didn’t understand it, but I knew it—that would’ve proved it.

“Oh yeah.” Tray’s gaze landed on me again and he shuffled his feet. “Well, uh…”

“I’ll be fine,” I said. “You can go.”

“Nah, I’m cool. I don’t need it right now.”

“I’m here, remember?” Carly said from the doorway, and three heads turned my sister’s way.

I was halfway to my feet to go to her when I realized my jeans and panties were still crumpled in a not-so-discreet puddle on the floor. Tray cleared his throat and I slumped back down. “
We’ll
be fine,” I corrected.

Giovanni chuckled again, but he was still staring across the room. If I’d been fully back to myself, I would’ve said to hell with the lack of pants, thrown the blanket around my waist wrap-style and dragged my sister into the bedroom. The sex vibes pinging all around weren’t just coming from me and Tray. Not by a long shot.

But I wasn’t ready to go back to being militant Mia just yet. It was so goddamn exhausting being on guard all the time.

For once, I just wanted to bask in the afterglow and talk to my sister. Just talk. Not argue.

“Go,” I said gently to Tray when he hesitated by the door. “I promise, we’ll be fine.”

“Yeah. Us girls can take care of ourselves.” Though Carly bounced down on the couch beside me with a smile, I didn’t miss the shadows under her eyes. If she’d slept, it hadn’t been well.

My fault.

“That so?” Gio asked, his voice as mild as the day outside. Easy. Almost relaxed. But the blue in his eyes had receded, leaving only unrelieved black. And those eyes were trained squarely on my sister, who was looking everywhere but at him.

“Don’t go down that road, man.” Tray moved behind me to gather my hair in his hands. Carefully, he worked out the knots and tangles. When he’d finished the task to his satisfaction, he tugged back my head and laid his mouth on mine. “I love you,” he said loud enough for everyone to hear, plain as day.

My face flooded with heat. So did the rest of me.

I wanted to say it back. God, I did. But the words got stuck somewhere between my mind and my vocal cords.

Gio whistled under his breath. “Damn, this is like those soap operas my mom used to watch.”

“It is pretty sickening,” Carly agreed, inching closer to me on the sofa. She tipped her head onto my shoulder and waved her hand at Tray. “My turn now. Scram.”

Tray walked backward to the door. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’ll give her girl parts a rest.”

Snorting, I elbowed my sister. I still wasn’t at my normal level of angst. It was sort of nice, and more than a little disconcerting.

If this was what it was like to be on the other side of a psychotic break, maybe they weren’t as bad as I’d feared.

Giovanni followed him to the door. “Mia. Carly.” His voice lowered on Carly’s name to the point that I cast a quick side-eye at my sister to see how she was reacting.

She was examining her bright red toenail polish.

Okay then.

The door shut behind them with a firm but definitive click.

“What’s going on with you two?” I couldn’t help asking. Also a side effect of new Mia. Old Mia would’ve demanded and threatened and possibly put chainmail over the door to keep the offending penis safely on the other side.

“Who?” she asked, all innocence.

“You know who, Carly Ann.”

“Ah, there she is.” Carly peeked up at me from under her reddish-gold fringe of bangs. “Faux Mia was freaking me out.”

I laughed and gathered the blanket closer. I was sweating underneath it, but I wasn’t quite ready to let it go. And there was the whole lack-of-pants thing too.

“I’m sorry about last night,” I said after a moment, wanting to go there about as much as I wanted to entertain what might be going on between Gio and Carly. But I had to. This safety bubble I’d hidden in since my ill-advised punch at the club had to pop soon.

I was already sharpening the needle.

“You scared the hell out of me, Ame.” Her chin wobbled and she held her position for a few seconds before launching herself into my lap. She wrapped her arms around me and held on tight. “I love you so much. Don’t scare me like that again. I can’t take it.”

Tears sprang into my eyes and I clung to her, rocking her like our mother had done with us when we were little. When Carly had come along, we’d traded off sharing our mama’s lap until the day we’d decided it was better if we each took a thigh and all cuddled together. I’m not sure our mother had loved it as much as we had, but we’d been in heaven.

Now we just had each other. No matter what, we always had each other.

“I love you too.” I stroked her silky soft hair and rubbed my cheek over the top of her head. “You were better than any doll.”

She sniffled and lifted her head, her big blue eyes luminescent with tears that tugged at my heart. “What?”

“When you came along, I always insisted on pushing your stroller. Screw the dolls. I had a real live kid.” Laughing a little through the tears, I cupped her face between my palms. I’d done everything I could to make sure she was safe. She was my first concern every moment of every day. Even now. “Mama indulged me, because hell, it kept both of us out of her hair.”

“She knew you’d keep me safe.”

“It was all I ever wanted,” I whispered, shutting my eyes against the voice in my head. It was coming back, the soft words piercing the bubble.

You won’t run, because I know where to find your pretty little blonde sister. She’s beautiful, isn’t she? Reminds me of my Olivia. So innocent.

See, I hadn’t needed the needle after all. I just needed to wait for reality to catch up with me once again.

But even while trapped in the loop in my head, the name Olivia snagged my attention. Who was she? I’d assumed it was his wife. He’d had one at the time, or he’d had one once. I’d seen the gold band he took off every time he touched me. That was my signal. When the gold band came off, I knew what would happen next.

Maybe it wasn’t a wife. Maybe I’d been too wrapped up in what was happening to me to think clearly.

An ongoing problem, that.

“I want to keep you safe too,” Carly said, burrowing against me. “You were almost catatonic last night, and I didn’t know why. Fox was so scared. Even Gio. It was like you were broken again.”

Not broken, period. Broken
again
. Because we all knew I’d been broken before. Perhaps all the years in between were a long, slow descent right back to that place.

Unless I fought my way through.

“Something happened,” I said, debating how much to tell her. I didn’t want to keep her in the dark, but I also didn’t want to increase the load on her shoulders. She was only eighteen. She was innocent, just as she should be.

Was that long-forgotten Olivia still innocent too?

“Tell me,” she said quietly, taking the choice from my hands. I couldn’t lie to her, not when those earnest blue eyes peered into mine.

I ran through the whole night for her. Tray getting drunk, me going to pick him up at the club. I didn’t call it a strip club—she’d probably get the wrong idea about what Tray had been doing there, and besides, I couldn’t help feeling like it was my duty to shelter her—and I didn’t spell out exactly what that fancy-suited creep with the shiny gun holstered at his waist had said about me and Tray, but she got the gist.

“You punched him out because he knew your past. Somehow.” She narrowed her eyes. “And because he was a sadistic fucker who twisted things.”

That about summed it up, yes. Along with the fact that someone had been sending me harassing texts and calling me just to breathe in my ear, and this guy conveniently had a line into my past that he should not have had. Amelia Anderson and Mia Anderson were two roads that shouldn’t meet. I hadn’t exhaustively buried my tracks, but to my knowledge no one had dug up the bones before.

All that had changed last night.

I’d never laid eyes on him, yet he knew I was a fighter. That wouldn’t be that unusual, except female fights on the underground circuit didn’t garner the attention of the male. Perhaps it was the Fox link. That didn’t explain how he’d connected me to Amelia. Or why he’d looked at me as men frequently looked at Carly. I’d punched him for that as much as for what he’d said. It wasn’t the healthiest reaction to male desire, but it was what it was.

I’d been powerless once. I wouldn’t be again.

“I don’t know who he was,” I said finally. “He obviously followed the fights, but he knew Tray’s father and he knew about me…” I trailed off, replaying the conversation again.

Goosebumps popped out on my skin and I clutched the blanket tighter in spite of the hot breeze coming through the window behind us. Who was this fucking guy? I’d have to ask Giovanni. Just who I wanted to talk to.
Not
. It was his fault Tray had been in that stupid club in the first place.

“Fucking Pyramid Club,” I muttered, almost not realizing what I’d said until Carly stiffened beside me.

“What did you say?” she asked softly.

“Nothing.” Had she heard of it? Was that why she’d averted her gaze? “Just a club.” I tried to laugh it off. “Stupid drunk boys.”

She picked at a thread on the knee of her jeans, reminding me yet again that mine were sitting abandoned in plain sight. I could’ve gotten up to grab them, but I was too busy studying my sister’s reactions. “Why did Fox go with Giovanni anyway? I thought he hated him.”

“Don’t expect me to explain what men think, because I can’t.” I gripped her chin and lifted her head until we were eye-to-eye. “What’s going on with you and Giovanni?”

“Nothing. What happened to you last night?” she countered.

“I…I don’t know, exactly.” I rubbed my thumb over the dent in her chin and let go. Strong-arming her had never worked before, and I didn’t even know if I was correctly pegging her behavior as off when my own was so very fucked up. “I hit the guy. Decked him. He hit the floor.”

“Wow, Ame.” She picked up my right hand. It was only then that I noticed the knuckles were puffy and bruised. Flexing my fingers hurt, but the pain hadn’t even gotten through until now. “You should wrap this up.”

“Yeah. I should.”

She sighed and gently placed my hand on the blanket. “You didn’t even notice the pain, did you?”

“No,” I admitted.

How could I, when sometimes it felt like my entire body was a morass of wounds and aches? I didn’t even have the excuse of fighting anymore, though I continued to train pretty hard. My regime wasn’t as intense as it had been when I’d been active on the circuit, but it was close.

She sighed again, shaking her head.

“Giovanni got us out of the club. I guess those guys are dangerous. Fits, since they had guns.” Her gasp made me close my eyes.
Great
. I was scaring her even more. “I didn’t argue with him, didn’t say a word as he drove us back here. Tray was worried, and I wanted to let him know I was okay but it was like I’d forgotten how to speak.”

Carly was quiet for a while. “Ame, you need to tell your therapist.”

I nodded without opening my eyes. I’d already come to that conclusion. I didn’t like it, but I knew I had no choice. Taking the chance that I’d check out at the absolute worst time when the people I loved were involved was a risk I refused to take.

Lightly, she cupped my battered hand between both of hers. “I can come with you,” she said hesitantly. “If you want me to.”

The tears were back, squeezing out between my lashes. They embarrassed me, but I refused to hide anything else from my sister. “You would do that?” I asked, voice hoarse.

“Sure. I’d do whatever would make this easier for you.” I opened my eyes to find her chewing on her lower lip while she stared at my hand. “You’ve shouldered so much of this alone. Fox helps.”

“Yes,” I whispered. Words weren’t enough to describe how much he’d helped me just by staying at my side. By holding me and taking care of me when I wasn’t strong enough to do it for myself.

I’d never had that luxury before.

“He’s an amazing guy, and I’m so glad you have him. But I’m an adult now too.” Her chin came up, pride etched in every line of her beautiful face. “I can handle it, Ame. Even if, you know, you talk about it. The details of what happened years ago.” Her eyes shined. “It’ll hurt me, and I’ll probably cry, but I swear to you, I can take it. I can be your shoulders for a little while.”

“I never wanted you to know.” I bowed my head, shame making my voice shake. “Protecting you was all that kept me alive.”

“Now you have other reasons.” She brushed at my tears, her fingers as gentle as her tone. “He would die for you.”

Tears streaming, I nodded. I knew that more than I knew what name I was using today. What persona would greet me when I met my eyes in the mirror.

Tray was more real to me than myself.

“You have to stop hiding it. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You did nothing wrong. Do you hear me? Absolutely nothing.” She wrapped her arm around me and tugged me to her chest, as if she was the older sister. And I went, because I guess hadn’t used up my allotment of needing to be coddled yet. “You’ve been nothing but strong, and brave, and invincible. But eventually, Supergirl, you gotta take off the cape.”

“I don’t know how.” Except I did. Last night, I’d shed everything. Without planning, without thought. All my armor had just dropped.

“Yes, you do.” She sniffled and kissed the top of my head. “Let the dude carry you over a few puddles for a change. He carried you last night, and oh my God, it was so hot. Seriously. If he wasn’t my almost brother-in-law, I would’ve jumped on that in a hot minute.” She gave me a watery grin when I looked up. “After he set down the semi-unconscious girl, of course.”

I laughed and shook my head. “I wasn’t unconscious. I could hear everything. I just couldn’t bring myself to respond.” Before she could reply, I sighed and rubbed the heels of my hands over my damp cheeks. “I know it’s not good. I know I have to tell the doc, and maybe even listen when she gives me a course of treatment.”

Like medication. She’d suggested anti-depressants in the past, but I’d refused them. I didn’t want to be a zombie.