Snatched (17 page)

More alone than she’d ever felt in her life before, Sue stared into space as the tears streamed down her cheeks, going over and over what had happened in her mind, trying to figure out how it had all gone so horribly wrong. She’d never left Connor on his own in the house before, and she couldn’t forgive herself for letting Julie talk her into it. She should have waited for Nicky and let Julie go to the club alone. But, instead, she’d put her friend’s desire for a night out before her children’s safety, and now look . . . One had almost died, and the other might well be dead already, for all she knew. But Julie didn’t even care enough to say she was sorry, which showed Sue just what kind of a friend she really was.

But, good or bad, Julie was her
only
friend right now, and it depressed Sue to think that she had nobody else in the world to turn to for the comfort and support that she so desperately needed. Her family had turned their backs on her for getting pregnant before she was married, and the neighbours were a bunch of nasty hypocrites, always gossiping about her and slagging her off behind her back. And Pauline might have been really good to her tonight, but that didn’t mean that she could be trusted with a secret like this. Even Tina Murphy, who Sue
would
class as a friend, wouldn’t do, because it wasn’t the kind of close friendship that allowed this kind of personal confidence.

Jumping when a car backfired outside just then, Sue’s gaze flitted towards the waste-paper basket. Biting her lip, she wondered if it might not be worth retrieving Dave’s number and giving him a call. She and Terry had been good friends with him and Carole before it all fell apart, and Sue had always found him easy to talk to.
Too
easy, according to Terry, who had had the cheek to accuse her of flirting with Dave a couple of times – which hadn’t been true – but Sue now believed that he’d only said it to cover up the fact that he’d already started screwing Leanne behind her back.

All that aside, she’d always got along fine with Dave, because they had grown up on the same streets and spoke the same language. He was the kind of man she understood: a real man’s man, who protected his territory with violence, and treated his women like precious jewels. But only while he loved and respected them, and God help them when that died, because the fists were just as likely to fly in their direction as in that of any of his male enemies – as Sue had almost found out to her cost when he’d lashed out at her over Terry. But if he’d said that he wanted to apologise now, then he must mean it, because Dave Miller would keep a vendetta going for ever if he believed he was in the right. But he was also man enough to admit when he was in the wrong.

Reaching into the bin for the number now, Sue smoothed it out and stared at it for a while before getting up and reaching for Julie’s phone. Tiptoeing into the kitchen, she closed the door quietly and tapped in the number, her heart already pounding as she heard the first ring, because she had no idea what she was going to say when he answered – if he wasn’t already in bed.

‘Hello, Dave?’ she said quietly when he picked up on the third ring. ‘I’m not disturbing you, am I?

‘Course not,’ he said, sounding genuinely pleased to hear her voice. ‘And thanks for getting back to me, ’cos I wasn’t sure you’d bother after all that shit last year.’

‘Pauline said you wanted to talk to me,’ Sue whispered. ‘So I thought I’d best ring in case you thought I was being rude.’

‘I wouldn’t have thought that,’ Dave assured her, vaguely wondering why she was speaking so quietly. ‘I know you’ve got a lot on your plate, so I appreciate you taking the time out to talk to me. Truth is, I’ve been feeling guilty about being such a cunt to you, and I know I should have told you sooner, but you know what blokes are like – all talk, no bollocks. But, anyhow, I am sorry, and I hope you can forgive me?’

‘Nothing to forgive,’ Sue murmured, feeling suddenly tearful again. ‘We all had a hard time dealing with it, but it’s a long time ago now, so it’s not worth talking about.’

‘Well, you’re a bigger man than me for letting me off the hook that easy,’ Dave said, sounding relieved. ‘But, anyhow, never mind all that . . . how are you?’

‘Not too good,’ Sue admitted. ‘Bit of a shock getting home to find the house burned down like that.’

‘I bet it was,’ Dave said sympathetically. ‘Take it you’ve seen the kids, though?’

‘Well, Connor, yeah,’ Sue said, relieved that he hadn’t asked where she’d been all weekend, and why she hadn’t known what was going on back home. ‘But Nicky’s . . .’ Faltering as the tears suddenly started up again, she said, ‘Sorry, I just can’t – can’t talk about her without—’

‘Hey, it’s all right,’ Dave interrupted softly. ‘I’m a prat; I shouldn’t have asked. Anyway, look, you’re obviously in a state, so why don’t I come round and see you? Give me the address; I’ll be there in two minutes.’

Struggling to pull herself together, Sue said, ‘You can’t. Sorry. It’s just that I’m at my friend’s place, and we’re having a bit of a weird time, so I don’t think she’d like it.’

‘Tell me where you are and I’ll pick you up instead, then,’ Dave suggested. ‘We’ll go for a drive. Anywhere you want.’

‘Are you sure?’ Sue asked, sniffing softly. ‘I don’t want to put you out.’

‘Hey, that’s what mates are for,’ he reminded her. ‘And if you can’t put yourself out for one of your oldest mates, then you ain’t no kind of mate at all, are you?’

Wishing that Julie had shown one ounce of the care that Dave had just demonstrated in that one short sentence, Sue said, ‘Okay, I’d like that. There’s no way I can get to sleep, and I could really do with having someone to talk to.’

Taking the name of the road, and arranging to meet her at the corner in fifteen minutes, Dave said, ‘See you in a bit, then.’

Hanging up, Sue looked down at herself and frowned. She was still wearing the party clothes she’d gone out in on Friday night, and they were way too skimpy to protect her from the cold. But they were the only clothes she possessed since she’d lost everything else in the fire. Fortunately, she still had the money Chris had slipped her before she left the hotel, so at least she’d be able to buy herself a pair of jeans and a jumper tomorrow. But there wouldn’t be much change, and there were all sorts of other things that she’d need apart from clothes. Like underwear, and toiletries, and a new phone. Not to mention clothes for Connor. And food, because she couldn’t expect Julie to feed her when she only had her Jobseeker’s allowance to see herself through the week. Subject of which, she didn’t even know if she’d still be eligible for her benefits now that she didn’t have a house to keep and children to feed.

Shivering as the enormity of her losses began to dawn on her, Sue slipped one of Julie’s coats on and sneaked her keys out of her handbag, then crept out. Walking quickly down to the park at the end of the road, she hung back in the shadows, praying that Dave wouldn’t be too long.

Pulling up alongside her a few minutes later, Dave pushed the passenger side door open for her. Grinning when she jumped in, he said, ‘Nice coat.’

‘Looks stupid, doesn’t it?’ Sue said, smiling, glad that there was going to be no awkwardness between them. ‘But it’s better than freezing to death. And I could hardly stand around in what I’m wearing underneath, or I’d have probably got myself arrested.’

‘Take it you’re still wearing the sexy skirt, then,’ Dave teased, turning the heating up. ‘Don’t worry,’ he said. ‘You’ll fit right in where I’m taking you.’

‘Oh?’ Sue gave him a quizzical look.

‘Little café I found that stays open all night,’ Dave explained. ‘They make the best bacon butties in Manchester. And they even serve prostitutes. Only joking,’ he added quickly as he set off. ‘You look great.’

Blushing when her stomach suddenly growled, Sue folded her arms. She hadn’t eaten since breakfast; hadn’t even thought about food. But now that he’d mentioned it, she realised how hungry she was.

‘Relax,’ Dave said, sensing her embarrassment. ‘We’ve known each other too long for airs and graces.’

‘I know,’ Sue agreed, settling back in her seat. ‘But it always happens when you don’t want it to, doesn’t it? At the doctor’s, or the dentist’s.’

‘Or in an old mate’s car,’ Dave added. Reaching into his pocket now, he took something out and tossed it into her lap. ‘That might help.’

Glancing down and seeing the small bag of weed, Sue shook her head. ‘Thanks, but I’d best not. I’m already struggling not to think horrible things, and that will send me right over the edge.’

‘What kind of things?’ Dave asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

‘Just stuff about Nicky,’ Sue told him sadly. ‘Wondering where she is, and if she’s okay.’

Reaching out, Dave squeezed her hand. ‘She’ll be fine,’ he said reassuringly. ‘I know she will.’

‘I hope so,’ Sue said, gazing out of the window and blinking rapidly to try and stem the tears that were threatening to spill over again.

‘Want to talk about it?’ Dave asked perceptively. ‘You know I’m a good listener.’

Biting her lip, Sue inhaled deeply. She wanted to talk, to tell him everything, because he would probably know exactly what to do. But she was too ashamed to admit what a terrible mother she was.

Glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, Dave sensed that Sue had a lot of shit going on inside that head of hers. But he wouldn’t push her, because she’d talk when she was ready. And when she did, he’d be there for her – all the way.

7

Sue’s mood went up and down like a yo-yo over the next few days. She was fine when she had someone or something to distract her, but as soon as she was alone, she’d find her mind straying into territories that no parent should ever have to visit; the shadow-land of her imagination, where terrible visions would play out in vivid detail across the widescreen of her mind’s eye.

And the longer it went on with no word of Nicky, the more scared Sue was that one of the scenarios was going to come true, so she dreaded the policewomen calling round, because every time she heard the knock at the door she was convinced that this would be the day when they told her.

And yet, at the same time, she was equally convinced that Nicky wasn’t in any danger, but had simply run away because she
had
started the fire. It was the only thing that made any logical sense.

The investigators had concluded that the fire had definitely started inside the house, and Sue knew that Connor couldn’t have done it, because he would never dare disobey her and touch the matches. So that just left Nicky. And Sue suspected that Connor
knew
she’d done it, and that was why he still wasn’t talking – because he couldn’t bear to admit that his beloved sister had locked him in the house and left him to die a horrible death.

At least the police had stopped looking at Sue as a suspect since they’d seen her on the club’s CCTV tapes and knew that she’d been there, both when the fire had started
and
when the brick had been thrown through the window. They still didn’t know if the brick was linked, or if it was just a coincidence, but Sue would have thanked whoever had thrown it
whatever
their reason, because if it hadn’t hit Connor and roused him he would certainly have died. Although, again, she suspected that Nicky might have been behind that; that, feeling guilty about what she’d done, she might have gone back to the house to get Connor out. But, finding it impossible to get in because the fire was already too advanced, she’d thrown the brick through the window – either to wake Connor up and give him a chance to escape, or simply to alert the neighbours to the fire, so that he would be rescued.

Sue hated to think that her own child could be capable of doing something so horrible, but at least Connor was alive, so she had to be thankful for that. Although she wasn’t sure how she was going to manage now that the hospital had told her that they were ready to discharge him.

It wasn’t her day to visit, according to the alternate-day schedule that the policewoman had arranged to keep her and Terry apart, but the nurse who’d rung had assured her that Terry had already been informed, so she wasn’t worried about bumping into him. But she
was
worried about what life was going to be like after she brought Connor back to the flat.

As there was no physical reason for his continued silence, the doctors had decided that it was psychological, and had said that they intended to monitor his progress through a network of home-visiting health-care bodies. Which, to Sue, translated as having the social services set on her.

The thought of having her life invaded by these nosy do-gooders filled her with dread, because she was convinced that they would actually be monitoring
her
, not Connor. But she could hardly refuse their ‘help’, because then they would probably say that she was being uncooperative or obstructive, and whisk Connor away to some foster home – for his own good.

But while she knew that she had no choice and would have to let them do whatever they wanted to do, she dreaded to think how Julie was going to react to the intrusion on
her
life. Things were already pretty tense between them, and Sue was actually starting to hate Julie for finding it so easy to act as if nothing had happened while Sue’s life lay in tatters at her feet. She never asked how Connor was when Sue came back from the hospital, and she hadn’t so much as mentioned Nicky since their row. But Sue couldn’t come out and tell her how she felt about her, because Julie would kick her out, and she had nowhere else to go until the council pulled their fingers out and gave her the house they kept promising. So she’d gritted her teeth and pretended that everything was fine between them – thanking God when Julie dragged herself off to bed each night and she could sneak out and meet up with Dave.