Snared (Jaded Regret #1) (4 page)

Suffice it to say, I hadn’t a clue what it was like to have people dedicated to loving you through anything.

After my dad had died—when I was only five years old—things had gone to shit. When I’d found him, it had changed me. My mind hadn’t been able to wrap around what I’d seen, so I’d just shut down. At first, my mom cared about taking me to see therapists and talking to me, trying to get through to me. But after a few years of my silence and refusal to let her in, she’d given up.

Once I started exhibiting signs of mental illness like my dad, she’d turned to verbally abusing me. She’d lash out when she was tired of dealing with my issues and saying I was going to end up just like my father, a worthless moron who couldn’t do anything. She constantly reminded me he’d killed himself so he wouldn’t have to be around us.

Natalie would wrap herself around me at night and talk to me, talk until I fell asleep having not said a word to her. She’d tell me she loved me, that Mommy was just sad about losing Daddy, how Mommy didn’t mean to be mean to me, and that no matter what, I’d always have my big sister there to protect me. But I’d always thought her logic was fucked up—I was a boy, the man of the house. I should be there for her. Anytime I’d say that to her as a child or teenager, she would roll her eyes at me and tell me to shut up, tell me how she was the big sister and it was her job. Hell, she’d probably say that now.

I remembered my first mental breakdown like it was yesterday. I’d been eight years old and at school when a feeling I still couldn’t explain came over me. It was like my brain had just revolted against me and took over, causing me to pick up and throw chairs, scream, cry, and fight with anyone who came into contact with me. My mom had taken me to the hospital that day. The doctors put me on meds and encouraged her to admit me to an inpatient center. She’d refused to admit me, but took the drugs, saying I just needed to stop acting like a “spoiled fucking brat.” She’d then locked me in my room for the week I was suspended from school, opening the door only to give me the pills that quieted my head and give me food.

I sat up, forcing the thoughts away. I hated thinking about that shit. There was nothing I could do about it, so why continue to think about it? I grabbed my pill bottle and water, and downed my three morning pills. Natalie didn’t like it when I called them my Crazy Pills, but it was just to make light of it. Though there was nothing light about it, and we both knew it. It was just my way of coping with the shit that encompassed me.

“You know I fucking hate wearing a shirt and tie,” I grumbled as my sister adjusted said tie. “This wasn’t part of the deal.”

“Stop whining, Beau. You’re handsome as hell. Plus, we have to meet Dr. Knight and his family tonight to kick off the fundraising event. They sold tickets to this meet and greet for over a thousand dollars a head!”

“We’re rockers, Nat.” I fought the urge to take the tie and throw it across the room. “We don’t fucking wear suits.”

“Tonight you do.” Natalie stepped back and smiled at me. “You look like a hot executive, Beau. I could get used to seeing my handsome brother all fancy every day.”

I furrowed my brow. “Over my dead body,” I said. “Nat, you
are
breathtaking tonight, though.” And she was. She was wearing a gold, sparkly form-fitting dress with heels I couldn’t fathom ever having to take one step in. Her blond hair was curled around her shoulders, and her makeup was heavier than usual. I thought the girl was fucking beautiful with no makeup and a ratty T-shirt, but she would turn heads tonight. I wasn’t sure I wanted her to turn as many heads as she would.

“Thank you, Beau. That means a lot to me.” She kissed me quickly on the cheek. “Ready?” Natalie grabbed a small purse and tucked it under her arm. The dinner to kick off the fundraiser was being held in the ballroom of the hotel. It was just down the street from the hospital, where we’d put on the concert tomorrow.

“Let’s get this over with,” I said, holding my arm out for her. We made our way to the elevator. Just as the doors were about to close, a familiar hand stopped the door. As it reopened, my jaw dropped at the sight of Johnny and Bex stepping into the elevator.

“You could all be on the cover of
GQ
magazine,” Natalie commented. “Would you look at you rockers, all cleaned up.”

Bex was wearing a tight black sequined dress with a slit up one leg. Her long hair was piled on top of her head. Her makeup was dark and edgy, the only part of her that resembled Bex. Johnny was in a monkey suit like me, his hair perfectly styled.

“I hate this fucking suit,” Johnny said, making me nod in agreement. “Good thing the second I saw Bex in that dress, it hit the floor and I was bending her over the—”

“Johnny!” Bex interrupted. “Are you fucking serious?”

“What?” Johnny wiggled his eyebrows at us. “I can’t help it that you are the fucking sexiest woman on this planet.”

“They are my siblings!” Bex sighed, turning back to us. “Who would’ve thought, right? All of us dressed like professionals and shit. Where’s Tanner?”

I cringed. God only knows who Tanner had found. “Haven’t seen him since we finished rehearsing earlier.” Tanner had his own room, which was dangerous to the women of Orlando.

The elevator door opened, and we all stepped out, heading down the long hallway to the ballroom. Soft classical music pumped out of the open doors, and men and women dressed in formal attire like us milled around, drinks in their hands. Servers scuttled between them, switching out empty drinks for full ones and making sure everything was pristine. This was completely outside of my realm.

Tanner stood just outside the main doors of the ballroom in deep conversation with a breathtaking blonde. She had her hand on his forearm, and he his eyes crinkled at her in his All-American way. The way that made panties fall. Hell, for all we knew, he could’ve already had her panties in his suit jacket.

Bex saw him at the same time I did, and we made our way in his direction. He spotted us immediately and grinned. “There you guys are! Holy shit! Someone needs to take a picture of us all dressed up like prim and proper socialites. Honey, would you take one with my phone?”

I knew he called her “honey” because he didn’t have a clue what her name was—if she’d even told him one.

She laughed and took his phone. “Only if we can have a selfie first. I can’t believe I’m meeting Jaded Regret! That’s so awesome!” Before any of us could say a word, she held her phone up and smiled, forcing us all to cooperate with her selfie.

Once “honey” took a photo of just the band with Tanner’s phone, Bex gave him the look he knew meant
lose the girl
. He made an excuse about catching up with her later and walked over to us.

“Seriously,” Bex bitched. “Do you have any standards?”

“What?” Tanner watched as “honey” sauntered away. She peered back every few seconds to see if Tanner was watching, which he was, of course.

“Did she suck your dick already, or are you planning that for later? I guess it doesn’t matter how annoying one is when their mouth is busy.” Bex’s direct words sent me into a coughing fit. She never minced them; that was for damn sure.

“You want to know about my action, Bex?” He turned to Johnny. “Johnny, you don’t satisfy the woman enough so she wants to know about me? You wanna watch, Bex?”

Tanner always played with fire, and playing with Johnny would only get him burned.

“For your information, Tan, I fucked my wife six ways to Sunday on our bathroom counter, in the shower, while she was bent over the couch in our room and—”

Tanner held up his hand. “Just kidding. You can stop now.”

“Don’t you ever ask my wife if she wants to watch you fuck someone,” Johnny said.

“Okay.” Natalie stepped in between them. “Boys, put away your dicks. You both have big ones, all right? We’re at a dinner and are the guests of honor. This isn’t the time. They’re ready for us to go in.”

We fell in step behind Natalie, all of us silent in our thoughts. Sometimes I considered my life now and wondered whose life I was leading. I mean, all of this was because Bex and I decided to put together a band after we left the foster care system. We started it as a way to exercise our demons, and now it had become our whole life. We had more money than we’d ever thought possible, were recognized all over the country, had best-selling albums and a headlining tour coming up. All because two fucked-up kids played music together and asked a few others to do it with us.

“This way,” Natalie said, leading us all to a table near the front of the room. She must’ve recognized one of them because she waved as we approached. None of us had met any of the Knights yet, so we had no idea who we were watching for.

“Dr. and Mrs. Knight, this is Jaded Regret.” Natalie beamed, turning back to us. “Bexley Bryant-Gibbons, her husband, Johnny, my brother, Beau Anderson, and Tanner Hart.”

A tall and fit older man smiled at us as he stood, followed by a beautiful woman who must’ve been his wife. She was tall and slender with blond hair, diamonds dripping from her ears, neck, and fingers. I thought back to my simple mother, who wore only T-shirts and jeans, never any makeup or curled hair.

“What an honor to meet you.” He shook each of our hands. “Thank you so much for doing this benefit for our hospital. Because of you, we’ll be able to finish the last phase and get it open to our families.”

“It’s our pleasure,” Bex said, shaking hands with Mrs. Knight. “We’re glad we can help.”

“Our daughter spoke so highly of not only your band, but also your charity work with foster children in the state of Florida,” Dr. Knight said. “We couldn’t possibly pass up the opportunity to get to meet you.” He glanced around the room. “I’m so sorry; I’m not sure where April is right now. She’s co-chairing the event, so I’m sure she’s running around putting out last minute fires. Please, sit and enjoy the dinner. We’ll be starting soon.”

“Sounds great. We can’t wait to meet April,” Bex said, always the diplomatic voice of our band. Imagine that. Bex could be . . . charming . . . when she wanted to be. Natalie indicated for us to sit at the large table. I ended up next to the empty seat, which must’ve been for Dr. Knight’s daughter, April. Great. Just what I wanted to do, make small talk with a socialite I had nothing in common with all night. Natalie would better fill this seat. My sister was great at that stuff; hence, the reason she was our manager.

Just when I was about to whisper to Natalie to switch seats with me, I saw the same blonde Tanner had been talking to in the lobby walking up with two other women. It seemed as though they were headed right for our table. Oh, no. If Tanner’s floozy started propositioning him at the table with Dr. Knight and his wife, Bex would lose her ever loving shit. I could only imagine what would happen then.

My gut clenched as they stopped at the table. But then Dr. Knight smiled and stood. “Oh, April! You’re just in time. Jaded Regret is here!”

Oh, shit. Tanner’s conquest was April? His eyes widened as he realized “honey” was right behind us, standing so close I could smell her perfume. But then the dark-haired woman standing next to “honey” stepped forward, her smile directed right at us. My breath caught. She was . . . stunning. Her dark hair was swept up into some kind of twist, and she wore long earrings that touched her shoulders. She was dressed in a form-fitting black dress with silver accents around her low-cut neckline. But it was when my gaze reached her face that I swore the temperature in the room rose fifteen degrees. Her skin was porcelain and flawless, her eyes wide and accented by dark makeup. They were a light, unique, bright gold color that I’d never seen before.

“Nice to meet you,” she said, holding her hand out to Bex, who had stood up. We all followed suit. My throat dried out and my hands began to sweat. I wiped them on my suit pants, willing myself to knock it the hell off. So what, she was gorgeous. I had beautiful women around me all the time. “I’m a huge fan.”

“Thank you,” Bex said. “It’s great to meet you. We’re honored to be here. This is my husband, Johnny.” April’s eyes widened as she got the “Johnny effect,” as we called it.

“So surreal for you all to be standing here,” she gushed. “I can’t thank you enough for doing this.”

Bex nodded. “This is Tanner, our manager, Natalie, and her brother, Beau.”

April shook their hands and then turned to me. Her eyes met mine, and I swore someone punched me in the stomach. She reached her hand out, and I took it, shaking it as quickly as I could so I could stop touching her. “Nice to meet you, Beau.” Her voice was husky, and it made me wonder if she sounded like that with the others. Was I making shit up in my head? That wasn’t unheard of for me to create things in my mind that weren’t there.

Natalie cleared her throat beside me, and I broke my gaze from April’s. April seemed to realize her two friends were still standing behind her, gaping at us.

“Guys, these are my friends and co-workers, Camryn and Bella.”

Camryn, a.k.a. “honey,” stepped up and shook our hands, although her gaze remained only on Tanner. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Bella shook our hands but said nothing else, seeming shy. I could identify with that.