Smoky Mountain Dreams (34 page)

When he pulled away, Christopher pressed his head back to
Jesse’s chest, listening to his heart again. “What made you go out in the world
like that back then?”

“I think my father was onto something when he said I was
rebelling against him. Once I settled my part of the business with Paul, and
once I married Marcy and the kids came, it didn’t seem important anymore.
Hilariously enough, a year or two ago my father told me he no longer gave a
damn if I liked to suck cock. So there just doesn’t seem to be any point in
trying to get a rise out of him if that’s true. And who has the time for
rebelling these days? I’m a little busy with fatherhood and the shop and making
sure that Marcy gets the best care.”

“Biggest thrill you get these days is the Firebender at SMD,
huh?”

“Well, my work has its moments,” Jesse said. Then he moved,
grabbing hold of Christopher and pushing him down onto his back. “And this is
pretty intense.” Jesse’s eyes were hot and focused, and Christopher’s dick
fattened and his asshole spasmed in reaction. “You and me. This.”

Christopher swallowed. It
was
intense. He supposed thrilling would be an appropriate word. “So…this is a big
risk for you?”

“Yeah. It is. I already have a lot to lose here, and
admitting that just ups the ante.”

“Can you deal with it?”

“I guess I’ve got the constitution for it. I bungee jumped
at Victoria Falls, after all.”

Christopher found himself grinning. “Crazy former thrill
seeker.”

“Why are you being so nice about all this?” Jesse blurted.

“Why wouldn’t I be? I was shocked, but I’m here for you,
okay? I want to be.”

Jesse gazed intently as he brushed back Christopher’s hair. “Why?”

“Because when you look at me, I feel like you actually see
me. No one ever sees me, but you do. I feel like you always have.” In that
moment, with Jesse’s weight pressing him down, Christopher felt more grounded
and
seen
than maybe he ever had.

“People see you every night up on stage.”

“Not really. They see someone doing a perfectly fine job.
You see
me
. Besides, nothing about the idea of
supporting you through all this scares me, Jesse. Well, not in the bad way.”

“Scared in the good way, huh?”

“Firebender scared.”

Jesse smiled. “Bungee-jumping scared.”

“Up-on-stage-in-front-of-an-audience-who-really-wants-Lash-Hinkins
scared.”

Jesse rubbed their noses together. “Wanting-Christopher-Ryder
scared,” he whispered.

Christopher’s heart soared, and he hooked his leg over Jesse’s
hip as if he could keep him there forever. “Falling-for-Jesse-Birch scared.”

“Yeah?” Jesse’s smile lit his whole face.

“Yeah.”

“Wow.”

“Then we’re in agreement?”

“We are.”

Christopher took Jesse’s hand, stroking his knuckles with
his fingers, his eyes lingering on their joined hands. He inhaled deeply, the
mint and citrus of Jesse’s shampoo and basil pomegranate of his aftershave
pinging the base, visceral memories of their recent encounters. When they
kissed, Jesse gripped Christopher’s hair and tilted his head to go deeper,
tasting his tongue and sucking on his lips.

“In my room,” Christopher muttered as he pulled away to
catch his breath. “
Now
.”

B
ETWEEN
HUNGRY KISSES TO MOUTHS
, necks, and any skin they could reach, they got
their clothes off in the nippy air of Christopher’s room. They dove for the
bed, sliding under the covers and shivering from the cold. Jesse rolled on top
of Christopher, rubbing their dicks together and smiling down at him with an
expression so hopeful that it made Christopher’s entire body ache to give him
even more to be hopeful for.

“Brr.” Jesse blew the word against the skin of Christopher’s
neck, making him shudder from both the sensation and the cold. “Chilly in here,
babe.”

“Yeah, I keep this room closed off during the day. Keeps the
heating costs down,” Christopher whispered against Jesse’s soft shoulder, and
then mouthed his way across his collar bones. “Sorry.”

“Just means we get to cuddle up,” Jesse said, tucking his
hand under Christopher’s body to grab his ass and haul their pelvises together.
“You feel great.”

Christopher agreed with that sentiment and spread his legs,
letting Jesse get even closer.

Jesse moaned and buried his face in Christopher’s neck. “You
smell amazing. Love your shampoo. And your skin. Wanna take a pair of your
boxers home so I can smell you all the time.”

“Boxers might not smell great.”

“Clean ones will. But a T-shirt would be good too. Even love
the way your pits smell.” He ducked and took a whiff, and then laughed. “What
deodorant do you use? Your shampoo. Soap. All of it smells like someone
drinking bourbon in an old library after they rolled around in mint.”

“You sure you like it? Sounds like you’re complaining.”

“Hell, no, babe. Fucking love it. Makes me hard.”

“It’s Miner’s Mint aftershave and some soaps I get at SMD. I
guess I’ll keep using them.”

Jesse groaned and shoved Christopher’s arm up in the air and
buried his nose in Christopher’s arm pit. He moved down to nip along his rib
cage, making him buck and laugh. “Ticklish!” Christopher exclaimed.

Jesse kept moving down, nipping and kissing along
Christopher’s tender side, and then shifting up to suck first one nipple and
then the other, pulling the covers over his head and working them until
Christopher gripped his hair and pulled him up for another kiss.

“Stop teasing and suck me off,” Christopher whispered.

Jesse smirked and sat up, grabbing the pillow from the other
side of the bed and shoving it behind Christopher so that he was propped up. “Wanna
keep you watching me. Keep you close.” He leaned in and kissed him, sucking his
lower lip and nipping gently at his chin as he kissed his way back down, this
time moving the cover back as he went.

Each kiss or bite was punctuated with a look up at
Christopher to assess his response. As Jesse got closer to Christopher’s cock,
making detours for nipples and his sides, and the bones of his pelvis, and then
his inner thighs, his expression went needier and needier. Hunger and another
emotion, one Christopher had never seen on the face of a lover, glowed on his
face and in his eyes, shining from Jesse urgently.

That’s love, baby.

Holy shit, Gran. Get out. I’m having
sex.

He’s plumb fallen in love with you.

OUT!

Christopher closed his eyes to shake the inner voice free,
and when he looked back down at Jesse he saw it too, and felt the hot,
expanding bloom of it in his own chest. It was a thundering, a quickening, a
fluttering, and an opening as if his entire being was flooded completely with a
vibrating joy that made him want to laugh and cry and pull Jesse up for more
kisses.

Jesse grabbed hold of his hands and looked up at him with
wide eyes, and then bent to nuzzle Christopher’s balls. His unshaven face
against such tender skin made Christopher shudder, and Jesse let go of his
hands to wrap one around the base of Christopher’s cock and the other to smooth
over his balls.

“See this?” he asked, his voice gruff. “This jizz you leak
when I touch you? I’m gonna lick it clean.”

Christopher moaned and thrust his hips encouragingly. “Put
it in your mouth, asshole.”

“Now, now, that’s not very sweet.”

Christopher made his eyes as wide and sweet as possible. “Please
put it in your mouth? I really want you to, babe.”

“Ah, fuck, say that again and mean it.”

“Babe?”

“Yeah.” Jesse jacked him slowly. “Say it like I’m your babe.”

“Aren’t you my babe?” Christopher whispered, his fingers
threading into Jesse’s hair.

“I wanna be.”

“Suck me, babe. Show me how you’re mine.”

Jesse closed his eyes and opened his mouth, taking the head
of Christopher’s cock between his soft, wet lips, and it was good. So damn
good, and Christopher moaned and pushed up his hips, sliding deeper, until
Jesse took control and started bobbing his head up and down, using one hand to
jerk him. The other sought out Christopher’s fingers, twining them together.

Tears sprang to Christopher’s eyes as he held on to Jesse’s
hand, watching him suck him. Their eyes met and all the wild, unspoken
emotions—too strong and too soon—flowed between them.

Jesse hummed, and Christopher ran his free hand through
Jesse’s dark curls. “You look so good down there. So hot with my dick in your
mouth.”

Jesse’s eyes rolled up and he redoubled his efforts.
Christopher started to hyperventilate a little as the pleasure grew, along with
the affection he felt, and another realization grew huge and unavoidable in his
head.

As it turned out, sex with someone who truly
saw
him and had
real
feelings
for him was as terrifying as it was amazing. Jesse’s mouth was delicious on his
cock and balls, sucking, licking, kissing, and the part that made Christopher
shake was how it was like the Firebender—only worse, because instead of ever
reaching the top and going over, feeling his stomach drop out and zooming back
up another hill, he was just rose higher and higher and higher. He wasn’t going
to survive the drop off the other side. He was going to die on the way down,
screaming and scared and exhilarated and happier than he’d ever been.

Jesse kept his eyes open, taking in his every shiver and
sigh, responding to his every reaction with more or less suction, more or less
tongue. Christopher dug the soles of his feet into the mattress, trying to
cling to something that wasn’t Jesse, because his hand clasping Christopher’s
was part of the problem; part of the perfection.

On his belly, Jesse rubbed his own cock against the mattress
desperately, his eyes expressive as he worked, and Christopher could read his
hunger in them. His violently blooming affection, his excitement, and his
powerful attraction all radiated from every line and movement of his body.

As his pleasure mounted, Christopher’s hips twitched. “Oh
fuck, I’m not going to last.”

Jesse moaned around his cock, vibrating down into his balls,
and Christopher couldn’t look at him. He had to shut his eyes, because it was
too intimate, too close, this sharing of need and hope and the fragile newness
of feelings. But then Jesse’s fingers squeezed his, his mouth not missing a
pull, and Christopher shuddered hard, clinging to him. He opened his eyes
again, somehow shocked to really be holding Jesse’s hand and staring him in the
eye while being brought so determinedly to the edge of orgasm. It was nothing a
one-night stand had ever done—would ever do—no matter how intense the sex. No
one had held his hand and watched while they made him come.

“Jesse,” he breathed. “I’m gonna come soon.”

Jesse sucked harder, and Christopher tried to take a deep
breath to hold off, but he couldn’t. His knees pulled up, his abdomen clenched,
and he cried out, shaking as he shot his load in Jesse’s gulping mouth. His
breath came in convulsive draws as he twitched and convulsed, Jesse working his
dick for every jolt of pleasure.

Then he tugged Jesse up and kissed his mouth, sharing the
taste and nearly crying as that terrifying thing that felt like love roared
through him with a ferocity that he couldn’t bear. He held Jesse closer, kissed
him harder, and begged him to please, please, please fuck him.

Jesse had Christopher’s legs wrapped around his lower
back and Christopher’s ass squeezing around his cock. He couldn’t stop kissing
Christopher’s face—his eyes, his nose, his chin, and his beautiful, wet lips
that kissed him back with an urgent intensity that made Jesse’s head swim.

Christopher was struggling to take Jesse’s full girth, and
Jesse spared a second to be annoyed with himself that he’d yet again failed to
get Christopher open enough first. But then again, he couldn’t really blame
himself—Christopher had begged him from the moment he shot his load in Jesse’s
throat to please fuck him, and Jesse had been so achingly hard, and so far gone
that a bit of lube and a few fingers before he rolled on the condom had seemed
like plenty of prep. Until he saw tears in Christopher’s eyes.