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“Where are you going, woman?” Zane calls out when I make it to the main door of the bar.

I stop, my grasp wrapped around the handle and bow my head, begging myself not to cry. My eyes flutter close, but I just see him pouring his attention all over a woman who will never be me. It’s pure torture, and I know my nights will be more haunted than they ever are. He said he loved me, wanted me, but he’s shown me beautifully, that’s not the truth.

“Amelia, what the hell are you running away from?!” he asks me, alarm mounting his voice.

“I can’t do this,” I say taking a deep breath, but it causes my tears to spring to life. “I can’t.”

“What?” he asks dumbly.

I laugh through my tears and shake my head as I turn back to face him.

“You dancing with her,” I say, brandishing my arm out to point at the brunette who stands waiting, just beyond the large glass door in the club, for him to come back. “Her touching you, kissing you,” I comment, pushing my hands into my hair. “I can’t take it.” I feel my total destruction happening. My heart is no longer encased in my chest nor is it protected in Zane’s careful grasp, but instead it’s bleeding out on the floor, ready to shatter. “You make it seem so easy to throw these promises around only to break them. You make it seem so easy to move on.”

“Last time I checked, Lorenzo was keeping your bed warm,” Zane admonishing bitterly, his tone clipped.

“I haven’t touched him since coming home,” I counter his argument with my own. “I physically stop him from touching me, if you hadn’t noticed!”

“How big of you,” he snarls angrily, his eyes becoming like slits as he narrows a hurtful gaze upon me. “It’s been two days. That didn’t stop you from jumping him for all four months you were in Italy, did it? He seems pretty infatuated with you, Amelia.”

“I’m not doing this,” I reply, feeling myself unraveling. “You let me go, remember? You pushed me away. I didn’t have a hope in hell I’d get another opportunity with you, so don’t you dare scrutinize me for trying to heal the broken heart you created when you just
let
me go.”

“Let you go straight to another man,” Zane remarks nastily yet takes two steps forward.

"You can't see it, can you?" I ask him, stabbing my index finger – nail included – into his chest. He’s broken any resolve I had. "He looks like you, Zane." My words come out a slur, a mumble of what they’re meant to be, but I see Zane's affected by the statement all the same. "He's the Italian version of you and that's why I chose him. He was the closest thing to you I could have when you were gone."

Grabbing my hands, Zane stills me, capturing my in a frozen embrace. “I’m here now. I’m back for you. Why can’t you see that?”

I begin to weep, the alcohol only fueling me. “I can’t trust you to love me, though. He’s the safe option.”

“You never used to play it safe,” he says as he releases me enough to catch my face and begin to rub away my tears. “That’s not how you do things, sweetheart, so why the change now?”

I look at him, my eyes still pouring tears, and I just hope he sees the honesty and sincerity in my response. “Playing it dirty cost me you two too many times.”

“Not this time,” he whispers, his voice wracked with sincerity. “I used her to get this reaction from you. I needed to break you somehow, Amelia. You’re not losing me this time.”

“But I’m scared if loving me makes you more corrupt than you’re willing to be,” I remark, my words spilling from my lips with haste. “I can’t be the reason you wind up corrupt to the core.” I look up at him, my eyes now doleful. “Because it’s only a matter of time until you see what you’re becoming and you’ll hate it like I do.”

“That’s the thing, Amelia,” he begins to say. He pushes me backwards until my back is flush against the wall, his body leaning into me. The heat and chemistry are palpable and strong between us and it’s undeniable. Zane apparently uses that to his advantage. "I was already a corrupt cop. My love for you out ruled everything. I was never destined to remain on the good side of life when I'm forever chasing you. You need to see that. Your father pulled us apart and I allowed that twice, but this time he's pulling us together. I'm here to stay, and I'm here to prove a point." He’s becoming almost ferocious with this argument, and I can’t help but wonder if I’ll remember any of it come daybreak. The sinking part of me so wants to remember and relinquish what we had while another part of me orders me to remain distant. “I jeopardized so much of life for you, and I can’t stop until I have you back. It’s not so simple anymore. It was never meant to be, and I never want it to be. Life with you has been nothing but a fight and it’s consuming and I love every single moment of it. I just want to make sure there are no more obstacles.”

“There are always going to be obstacles,” I tell him, gulping hard against the lump forming uncomfortably in my throat. “This world is risky.”

“Then I’ll be more than happy to do it with you by my side,” he says passionately. “I will do whatever your father wants, play whatever role, protect you at all lengths, Amelia,” he tells me, his eyes upon me heavily. “You asked me once if I was your knight in shining armor or your kryptonite, and I can tell you that I’m still both. Let me prove it.”

I shake my head. "I don't need a knight in blood caked armor," I tell him, pushing him back, announcing what he’ll become. I’m sobering up a little and my senses are telling me to run. I cannot make him a victim of my love and my family. He’s chose one without my consent, but my love is one I can strive to stop.

Zane's first response is to slam both hands on either side of me against the brick wall of the foyer of the bar. Invariably, I’m trapped me between it and his aching body and I never knew it was a place I missed being. He places a leg between mine, pinning me more and I look at him waiting for his next move.

"Sorry, sweetheart, but by the look of things, it's what you're gonna get."

Fuck. I feel myself moisten as I become overpowered by everything Zane Maverick. His overbearing power over me is something I fall a willing victim to every time, but this time, his fight for me, that inability to heed my woes and leave, makes my heart skip a steady beat. I know, again, I never fell out of love with him. Lorenzo is, sadly, living proof of that. My body reacts the same, my heart does too, and my mind becomes entirely unbidden to all possibilities when Zane is around. I am well and truly screwed, and he hasn’t even gotten into my panties yet – if I was wearing any, but Zane doesn’t have to know that.

“You are all I’ll ever need,” he murmurs, his hand cradling my face gently. “I’m nothing more than a callous, greedy man, Amelia. You must know that. I’m impulsively stupid, I make the wrong decisions, but I’m convinced this is the right move for us now.” His tone is soft on my hearing, lulling me into a sense of belief. “Deep down, you must’ve known this was the only way for us to have a final chance.”

He has me there. It’s the God’s honest truth. I did only believe that we would have been a match made in heaven had he been more like me or had I been more like him. He’s made the move to become more like I am – aggressive, powerful, frightening. I can’t break the bindings in which I was born to, it’s too late for me to get out unscathed, but Zane is proving that I am worth more than a casual fling. I am a lifelong goal to him. His newfound commitment to a mafia crime family proves that.

Without thinking again, I forget for a second that I’m meant to be abstaining from him. I fling my arms around his neck and draw him down to my height so our lips can kiss in perfect unison. The spark I’ve felt every time he’s around igniting, coursing through my entire body with an adrenaline rush so commanding I vie for more of Zane. When he doesn’t deny the kiss, I push my tongue into his mouth, proving that I am still a victim of his love. As one hand drops from his neck, coursing down his chest, I know I cannot leave this bar with just a kiss. I move my hand ever so slightly, playing with the top button of his shirt.

“Not here,” he grunts suddenly and releases me as he recognizes what I’m up to. He glances behind him and turns back with a smirk. “Come with me,” he commands and takes my hand.

When he moves, I see exactly where we’re headed – the romantic destination of a cleaner’s closet! I should resist going to such a dark, clustered, filth-ridden room, but I need to feel him inside me. I need to know if the spark I keep feeling is real or if I’m just holding a dying flame.

Throwing the door open, Zane pushes me in with ease and as I stand in a room dimly lit by the street lights outside the small window, I hear the lock click and Zane slowly turns around. My body tingles as the look he issues is one so full of want, I remember what it felt like to be needed.

He puts his hand out for me, taking it has me pulled forward and pushed against the door with a heavy push.

“We can’t be long,” I mutter, knowing my entire hoard of brothers with Lorenzo could well find Zane taking me in a closet. “I’m pretty sure that floozy saw what was happening between us,” I whisper, my fingers playfully toying with the lapels of his shirt. I look up, biting my lip. “This never felt more right.”

“Is that the alcohol talking or all you?” he asks, and I shrug. “I guess I better be quick, and have my wicked way with you while you’re still giving me a chance.”

“Yeah, you had,” I reply, my voice quiet and low.

With that said, he’s quick to undo his belt buckle and unzip his pants, only to fluidly grab me by my ass and pick me up. He lifts me off the ground and takes me to a workbench on the side of the room. He sets me on the edge and begins to kiss me. If this is the dying love I’ve made myself believe, I have never felt more alive. The touch of his lips against my skin is electrifying and as my hands run over his shoulders, I can feel myself becoming wetter for him.

He laughs as he finds me without any sort of underwear on. When I got dressed before we headed out, I hated seeing my panty line so I just discarded them altogether. It wasn’t a pretentious move, but I’m fucking glad I’m a vain bitch when I want to be.

As he pulls me forward, I reach down to his pants. Zane always used to keep a spare condom in his back pocket on our dates. Some things just never change in life. I push him back a little, showing him the foil packet with a grin. I see he’s annoyed to wait, so I decide to make him really feel it. I bring the packet to my lips, place it between my teeth, and tear into it. When I pull the rubber out, I keep my eyes on him before I allow them to drop, now biting on my bottom lip. When I look down, his penis is already erect, and the length makes me groan. Anticipation bites me knowing how fulfilment is just a mere stone’s throw away from me.

I cover the top of his penis with the condom and slowly and carefully roll it down over his shaft. I hear him grunt and use the pad of my thumb to run down his length after I’ve pushed the condom down, sensitizing and teasing him all at once. When I look back at him, I give him an expression of sheer innocence.

“You have got no one fooled,” he tells me, his tone strained, but he doesn’t let that ruin this.

Grabbing onto my hips, he lifts me to pull me forward and as I slip down, I feel him penetrate me whole. I gasp as his entire size fills me and he withdraws only to issue his first powerful thrust back into me. He hits my g-spot and all rhyme and reason flitters away. My head begins to fall backwards as he pushes his way into me, stealing my breath and sanity. I hold on, feeling unable to do anything but take what Zane has to offer. My body hasn’t felt this alive in months. Endorphins swim in my veins, revive my heart, and help bring my building orgasm alive.

It doesn’t take me long for my orgasm to explode and, for once, I utter the name of the person I only wished was issuing me with one. “Z-Zane,” I stutter, my fingers digging in as my body clenches and releases around his rock hard length as he continues to drive into me with a few more swift penetrations until he comes, too.

There’s a moment where we are just one, enjoying this euphoric state of nirvana and it’s complete bliss. When my high begins to disentangle from around me, I look at him, breathless, consumed, not ready to fall completely and wholeheartedly for him again just yet.

“I’m drunk,” I say, propping myself up against his chest. “This doesn’t count.”

Zane smirks, that cheekiness dancing in his eyes for the first time since yesterday. “Sweetheart, every time with you counts.”

“This should be fun,” I grumble as I jump down from the breakfast bar. “Grand tour of la casa di Abbiati.” I finish my glass of orange juice and then look at Zane. “Where do you want to start?”

“The bedroom?” Zane asks, wagging his eyebrows at me.

I shake my head and walk toward him, pushing him out of the way as I head toward the large doors that lead down to the gym area. If I start here, I can lead him out onto the grounds and then back into the house for the rest of a grand tour.

“Just follow and behave,” I warn and begin to open the doors to descend the stairs. “You’ve been here five days and you are lucky it hasn’t been all business. From what I can see, today is a quieter day than yesterday.”

Yesterday, he ended up running around with Enzo, learning the ropes of who is who in the Dio Lavoro. Today, he gets a tour then we go our separate ways. It’s that or I’ll jump him and I cannot allow myself to be driven by my primal needs. However good it felt to have him take control and give me that moment of ecstasy, it’s dangerous ground we now tread upon. I have to keep reminding myself that the girl he loved just over four months ago isn’t here anymore. Once he learns of my atrocities, he’ll realize that, too. I don’t want to fall back in love for it to end with my heart breaking a third time.

“Do you get them often?” Zane asks, trailing behind me.

“No,” I scoff, laughing at his lunacy to even query it. “I’d enjoy it while you can. Usually, there’s something going on. Peace and quiet should have been left at the door.” As we hit the bottom step, I reach out to push the door to the gym open and enter. “This is where you can work out until you’re ready to collapse.”

“I can think of a good workout we could both do,” Zane tries.

“Behave,” I scold and walk away. I feel like I’m going to be reiterating my words to keep myself on some track of celibacy.

“Behaving is boring,” he responds, petulantly. “Do I get a repeat performance of the other night? It’s been two days, and I can’t stop remembering the feeling of you clenching down on my cock, Amelia. That’s a workout I could use.”

“You can work off some sexual tension after the tour,” I tell him, keeping my mind from wandering. I’m aching for him, and I swear thinking of him in that closet has me becoming wetter at just a memory. I would do anything to have him take me, but with everyone watching, I cannot risk it. “There are treadmills, cross trainers, punching bags. You name it, we have it, and if we don’t, it can be here within the hour.”

“Do you come down here a lot?” he asks as I walk between the equipment, stepping toward the punching bags. “You’re toned, but how often do you really work out?”

“I get my quota of working out. I can pack a mean punch,” I muse, running a hand across the hanging punching bag. “I’m not a precious, fragile little girl, Zane. You know I like to play rough,” I joke, smirking hard at him.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he comments, playing dumb deliberately, but the sarcasm overtakes his tone and I love reveling in this playfulness between us.

I decide to say nothing, just turn on the spot and bite at the empty air in front of him. I watch him cringe and see he remembers full well when I took charge. I laugh as he recoils and I decide to lead on while he remembers when I bite down on his penis. I head over to the far doors. I don’t stop as I throw them open and begin another small descent. I feel Zane hesitate from behind, but I continue to lead the way.

“What’s down here?” Zane asks, and I take full note of the apprehension in his voice. “I feel like we’re going into the deeper depths of hell.”

“The Abbiati torture chamber,” I comment, throwing the sentence at him with a blasé essence. “Now that you’re becoming part of the Dio Lavoro, you might as well be privy to the darkest of our secrets.”

I can feel his relief midway down the stairs, when I push open the doors and the brightness of an indoor pool illuminates the darkened stairwell. The morning sun filters into the room, reflecting from the calm water. I start to make my way around the pool’s edge and turn to walk backwards.

“Indoor pool for when the weather’s god-awful,” I comment, walking with a smirk on my face.

“You had me going there,” Zane laughs, his voice echoing from the water’s surface and the space of the room’s walls.

“You’re so gullible,” I tease and head for the large patio doors. “My mother always loved to swim, so my father made sure she never had to go without.”

“You don’t talk much about her,” Zane muses, stepping in to join my stride as I head out to the backyard.

I shrug. “What’s to talk about?” I ask, looking up at him. “She’s dead.”

“So is mine, but I talk about her every chance I get.” Zane’s tone is full of every remnant of grief that offers the telltale signs that he’s still in mourning.

“I wish I had been there for you,” I utter, my voice low as I think of how difficult it must have been for Zane. I know it’s a quick, selfish subject change, but I don’t like to discuss my mother’s death. Zane’s, however, I never have truly come to terms with and it still hurts to think I’ll never see her again. If it hurts me, I can only imagine what Zane must feel. His mother was his only family, so I know he had to deal with it all alone. “I would have been there. Had you called, I would have run to you.”

“How could I call you, Amelia?” he asks me, a dry sense of mirth lingers in his voice. “I’m the big bad wolf in this life, remember? I ran into your life and tore it apart. I couldn’t simply call you.” I watch his eyes water, and I have to fight myself to not wrap my arms around him. “Everything that I receive I deserve.”

“You didn’t deserve to handle her death alone,” I tell him, stopping mid-stride. I turn to him, grab his hands, and force him to look at me. “I would have forgotten everything to be there. There’s not even a doubt in my mind, Zane.”

I don’t want to tell him that maybe had he done just that, our lives might not have collided in such a deathly passion. Had he just given me a cry for help, our love story may have never been cracked and tarnished with such fearful intentions. As fate has it, I’m the twisted one and he’s soon to follow me. The what ifs are monumental in our lives now – what if he had never left? What if he had always trusted to just love me? What if I was strong enough to leave my family? What if we had never met? The possibilities are endless, but I know had he just shown his vulnerability and need for me, our lives would have played out so differently than they are now.

“There was every doubt in mine,” he says solemnly and looks back out to the acres that stretch beyond us. “You’ll laugh, but I finally feel like I’m doing something right with my life.”

“I always thought you were a stupid man,” I mutter and know this is him moving on from the painful subject matter. I look at him, finding his eyes already on me, and take the moment to give him a sincere look that I am here for him. “Let’s go down to the tennis courts.”

“I won’t lie,” he begins, filling the silence that settles between us. “I always thought that I would be killing my life left, right, and center the moment I was allowed into the family. Stereotypically thought it’d be no rest for the wicked, but you guys live a surprisingly calm life.”

I snort on that opinion. “Right now it is. Just because there is murder doesn’t mean it’s something we do on a daily basis. Most of the time, it’s all business and mergers and handling of goods. Stuff my father uses to gain a larger business name. Murder just seems to go hand in hand with it all. He makes them bloodier to set examples.” I wring my hands together nervously. “Obviously, not my quests, but the ones my father has an involvement with are all men, sometimes women as well, who have snitched, snubbed, or royally fucked up.” I stop again only to turn to him. My nerves are killing me as I talk about the family business. How everything seems to hang on the fact that if you’re loyal, your payout is beautiful, and if you fucked up, your death will be beautifully executed. “Being an Abbiati is a health hazard. You know that, right?”

“I think I can assume I knew that, yeah,” he scoffs, laughing to hide his own nerves. “Especially after what I witnessed with Carmello.”

“That’s nothing,” I respond, dampening his confidence on that hit. “There have been worse situations we have gotten out of and lived to tell the tale.” His face becomes ashen as I mention that and I just give a little laugh of exasperation. “You get used to understanding the pace of this life, Zane. You’re committed to it now. There is no way out.”

“I don’t need one.”

I can see he’s trying to be brave, and I find it stupidly admirable. He’s trying to remain so beautifully stoic for me, keep a semblance of strength, win with strategic moves, and bargain against my need to resist. However, first and foremost, he needs to remind himself of what cesspit he’s leapt into.

“You’re an anomaly to me, Zane Maverick,” I muse wickedly. “You called me that once, but it’s you who’s the abnormal one. You love me but cannot tolerate my family and what it stands for. You love your job, but quit to work for my father. You say it’s all for love, but no clever man would give up their entire life for
this
.”

“I’m not a clever man,” he tells me. “I’m not giving up my life for this, Amelia. I’m giving it up for you. Hell, I’m starting anew for you, with you. I know the danger I’m putting myself into for this, but I cannot risk being stupid enough to lose you a third time. I won’t even think about it. This is the right thing for us to do now.”

My breathing becomes staccato, each inhalation freezes in my chest, wrapping icy fingers around my heart and cramping tightly. Each of Zane’s words cause a vice-like effect around my heart, and it’s a delightful feeling. One I cannot indulge. I want to agree, to tell him that our fate is now sealed in the stars, but it’s simply not that easy, so I divert our conversation. Ignoring the carnal yearn in me and the skipping of my own heart.

“My father occupied a lot of land when he wanted to evolve his empire,” I state as we walk further from the house and toward the vast land before us. “This was the result. Tennis courts, shooting range, swimming pools; you name it and my father wanted it all here with Manhattan not far.”

“You’re really going to shut me down like that?” he asks, catching up with me. “Right in the middle of a sentimental moment.”

“Zane, I don’t know what you want me to say or do. It’s been three days, and I watch you across the breakfast table wondering why the fuck you look so out of place. Then it hits me; it’s because you don’t belong to people who are as ruined as us. You are destined for better things, and I try with all my might to be okay with it, but sometimes I just can’t keep strong and believe this will ever end right.”

“We’re right,” he speculates, arguing his side. “Isn’t that enough?”

“Not right now, it isn’t, no,” I argue back. “You’ve entered a whole new game, Zane; one where you have to prove yourself at every fucking turn. The sad truth is that this is the testament to whether I’m worth the fight for you. If you survive and still profess to love me then maybe I can dream about fairy tale endings, but right now, I cannot give myself to false hope. Not like I have before.”

When he doesn’t respond, I just head further down toward the large open spaces beyond us. There’s such a vast amount of area to cover, and I feel uncomfortable with how Zane’s conversation with me seems to fluctuate between understanding and confusion. Just as I’m preparing to walk out and head toward Enzo, who is using his bo-staff to work out, Zane grabs my wrist, his large hand swallowing my tiny wrist whole.

He slams me against the chain fencing to the tennis courts, invariably moving me just out of plain sight. Stepping forward, he covers my body with his and just stares at me as his fingers cling to the fence on either side of my head. There’s this uninhibited sense of lust, the desire we’re both swallowed by sparking to life and while I might refute mine, Zane is very much allowing his to take over.

“Don’t deny it,” he whispers, his heated breaths coursing over me, making me weaker than I already am.  “Don’t stop what you really want, Amelia. You want my hands all over you, you want me under your skin, and you want me to be here, loving you, pushing my way into your life like you love me pushing my way between your legs. You’d be a liar to start denying it now.” How am I not ever supposed to love a man who always sings what my heart wants? I want the love, the lust, the downright dirtiness. I want everything he offers and will wait while he fights to grab the stars from above as well. He stole simplicity and made it the most complicated notion ever and Zane Maverick keeps intensifying the complexity of it all with every fucking breath. “Not all love stories have to be straightforward, sweetheart.”

He’s right, so I do nothing to push him away.

He leans in, his lips touching the skin of my neck gently as one hand begins to fall down the side of my body. He slowly, and with gentle ease, slips his hands into my sweats, past my panties and begins to work toward my heated core. As he leans back, I look at him, biting down on my lip with anticipation and watch him as he does nothing but gazes at me. His eyes are firmly on me, preparing to watch every single flurry of emotion he’s about to unleash on me.

“Speak now or forever hold your peace, sweetheart,” he muses and with my silence, his fingers race across my clitoris.

His touch scorches me every time, but I love the blistering pleasure it leaves across my skin. Like a million needles testing my nerves to make sure I’m more than receptive to what’s happening, but as I admit myself to the feelings he causes, Zane changes our course with just the touch of his lips to mine. We slip into a brisk intimacy that clouds judgment and dissolves reality, and it’s a time in my life I truly love. The sensation of being completely senseless is one I’d drown in if I was given the choice.