Smashed (13 page)

“Well,” I mused. “You don’t have to.”

A warning flashed across his face. “Don’t even go there. I’d rather be dead than be what you are. No offense.”

“This conversation has taken a depressing turn. Hasn’t it?”

We shared a laugh, and I found myself enjoying it more than I wanted him to know. It was quite possible that over the last year I’d grown to feel more than respect for him. Hell, I suspected I might actually like him.

Before I could steer the conversation in a lighter direction, Shaz was approached by the other wolf. He sauntered up with a sneer, his intent evident in his cocky stride. He eyed me warily.

“Do you think it’s a good idea for you to be in here?” He asked Shaz, trying to draw himself up to the younger wolf’s height. “The point of Alexa leaving the pack was the safety of this town. You went with her. So what the hell are you doing in here with her vampire?”

Shaz and I shared a look. His green eyes glinted with amusement. “I’m playing pool, Mitch. What the hell does it look like?”

Mitch nodded slowly. His stance was tense, strained. He stank of liquor.

“This is a wolf town. Vampires don’t belong here. Seeing as you like ’em so much, you don’t belong here either, Shaz. Are you trying to get us killed?” Mitch garbled his drunken spiel, going so far as to poke Shaz in the chest with a fat finger.

“Go and sit down, Mitch. Before I sit you down.” The way Shaz stared at the other wolf made it pretty clear that he was open to a fight. He’d already been scrapping this week.

“Yeah? Try it.”

With his eyes bloodshot and his words slurred, Mitch was in no shape to fight. He took a swing at Shaz, his fist heavy and misguided. Shaz blocked it with ease while delivering a return blow. His fist connected with the older wolf’s jaw, and he stumbled backward into the pool table. Due to his drunkenness, Mitch didn’t appear to feel the punch he’d just taken.

I dropped my cue on the table and stepped between them. Though I’d have loved to watch Shaz beat the mouthy wolf bloody, it would serve only to prove the wolf’s claim that we didn’t belong there. With a pulse of assertive energy, I pushed Mitch away. Shaz was the difficult one. He attempted to shove me aside, eager to throw another fist.

“Enough.” I fixed my gaze on Mitch, ready to put him on his ass if needed. He wavered, unsteady on his feet. “The two of you have nothing to say to each other. Mind your own damn business, and we’ll mind ours.”

As drunk as he was, the wolf still knew better than to antagonize me. Being feared had its advantages, though at times it could be quite the opposite. It meant that I was no longer underestimated. And I did so love a chance to prove that I should not be misjudged.

Mitch muttered something that involved several curse words before hurling what was left of his beer at us. It hit the corner of the pool table before shattering against the floor. He staggered to the bar where he proceeded to argue with the bartender about being cut off.

Shaz strained against me, wanting to go after him. “Hey,” I said, a hand firmly on his shoulder. “That was not a fight worth getting into.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” His eyes were wolf when he pushed me. When I held my ground and wouldn’t be moved, he snarled, “Get out of my way, Arys.”

“Not until you calm down. When did you become such a maniac anyway?” A thin ribbon of my power reached out to wrap around him. Subtle but effective, I calmed him with my touch.

His gaze dropped to my hand, and he glowered. “Cut that out you manipulat—”

“Careful now,” I interrupted. “You don’t want to piss off the one person in here that can actually take you.”

The small force I exuded smoldered with erotic heat, something I couldn’t help. It was in my nature. Shaz groaned, a sound that was both angry and sensual.

“I really fucking hate you sometimes,” he said, knocking my hand away.

“What happened to bonding? We were doing so good before you let yourself be so easily coerced into a bar brawl. Come on, Shaz. You’re better than that.”

He glared at Mitch who was now pleading his case to the bouncer trying to escort him out. Shaz sighed and swore. Then he nodded.

“Fine. You want to bond? Then come with me. Time for you to see things from our side.” He abandoned his beer bottle, dropped his cue on the table, and headed for the door.

I followed, not because he was being a tad dramatic but because he’d captured my interest. For all I knew he could have been leading me to the parking lot to instigate a brawl that nobody would break up.

His stride was purposeful, his jaw set with determination. Curious, I sauntered along behind him, noting how he trusted me enough to turn his back to me. That small act revealed much.

Hiding my smile, I called after him, “Where are we going?”

Without a glance back, he said, “To Alexa’s house.”

Standing in Alexa’s backyard, I was painfully aware of her absence. The house stood dark and silent. Everything about it was wrong.

Shaz pointed beyond the property line to the trees in the distance. “Out there is a place that’s very special to Alexa. I’m going to show it to you.”

He pulled his t-shirt off and laid it on the stone wall of the fire pit. His hands went to his pants, and he shot a glance my way, one brow raised in an unspoken question.

I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Though I had seen through the eyes of Alexa’s wolf, I had never accompanied her into the forest. Shaz’s willingness to take me to a place they had been together caused a swell of emotion to rise within me.

When he stood there in his boxers, oblivious to the autumn chill in the air, I felt the stirrings of the ghostly beast that dwelled within. His gaze narrowed as he seemed to sense it.

“Arys? Are you ok? You smell like wolf.”

“As do you, pup,” I said, avoiding his question. “Lead the way. I’m right behind you.”

There was some hesitation on his part. Then he slipped out of the boxers and stretched. His limbs were long and pale in the dark of the night. Without another word he became wolf, a change so fast and fluid it was near impossible to see in its entirety.

He was one of the most beautiful creatures I’d ever seen, second only to Alexa. Fur the same white blond as his hair, the green of his eyes seemed to glow in contrast. He loped out of the yard without checking to ensure that I followed.

I most certainly did. We cut a path across the small expanse of field to the waiting forest. It was nice to walk beneath a blanket of stars with the white wolf. The city suddenly felt so far away.

The echo of wolf was alive with excitement inside me. The scent of the earth at my feet and the wolf beside me brought memories swimming up from the depths of my subconscious, all of them Alexa’s. Being wolf meant so much to her. I would never have forgiven myself if she had lost it.

Entering the closely packed trees meant leaving the rest of the world behind. It ceased to exist as we went deeper. Shaz paused here and there to sniff at everything from a small animal carcass to a pile of dry leaves.

I stepped with care, feeling very much aware that I did not belong here. The forest seemed to watch us, to know why we’d come. It was a strange sensation. The forest almost breathed as the wind played in the treetops. The occasional call of an owl was met with the yip of coyotes in the distance. It was peaceful, a world unto its own. A pang of envy struck me. I would never know this place the way Alexa and Shaz did. Together they had something that excluded me. It was beautiful and precious.

I yearned to speak but felt that my voice was unwelcome here. It merely didn’t belong. Shaz bumped against my side and knowing I risked a vicious wolf bite, I reached for a handful of his fur. It slid through my fingers, wiry and tough but soft as well.

Smiling apologetically when he turned a wary stare my way, I let go and reached to touch the bark of a large spruce tree instead. The old tree hummed with the natural vibrations of the earth. Closing my eyes, I could feel the way its energy was linked to everything around it. Connected. All of us. In one way or another.

For just a moment, I thought perhaps the wolf essence inside me would manifest itself after all. The tips of my fingers stung with the prick of claws. The insistent pressure inside me grew until I was sure it could be contained no longer.

I opened my eyes to find Shaz staring at me, concern etched on his furry face. Motioning for him to continue, I followed, wondering if it was possible that it was not Alexa’s wolf that reigned within me but my own instead.

A vampire could not become a shifter. We were beyond human life and death. Of course no vampire was bound to a shifter the way I was. It was a curious thing. The essence of a wolf dwelled in me, lacking only a body. Otherwise, it was very real.

I thought about Alexa, likely with Sinclair at that moment, when she should have been here. Things would get better. She would recover from the startling initiation to the vampire world and reclaim her role as one of the last Hounds. She simply had to. Anything less would be a failure. My failure.

Shaz slipped between a tight group of trees, and I followed, careful not to bend or break any branches. I found him there, in human form, sitting naked beside a small pond.

“This is where she goes when she needs to get away,” he said softly. He sat with his knees drawn up, hiding his nudity. “It’s dried up some since summer, but it’s still beautiful.”

“It really is.” I sat beside him on the dry grass, giving him enough space so as not to feel uncomfortable. Studying the pond, I was disappointed that summer had passed. The coming winter promised to steal the life away from this place. “I’d like to see it in the summer. Perhaps we can come back.”

Shaz pushed a hand through his hair several times. It was a sign that he was feeling emotional, for whatever reason. “Sure. We can do that.”

He seemed to have a hard time looking at me. I tried to lighten the mood. “What’s wrong, pup? Would you feel better if I got naked too?”

“Please, don’t.” His laughter cut through the night, echoing all around us. “It’s just your eyes. They’re wolf. I haven’t seen that in a while.”

Shaz had been the first one to see Alexa’s wolf in me. That night had been one of the worst. Not only had I lost control, something that so rarely happened now, but I’d killed my lovely neighbor’s dog in a fit of werewolf-induced rage.

“It’s not always this strong,” I said. “You must know that what you share with her will always be more profound than what I share with her. You have something special there.”

Picking a twig off the ground, he began to scratch in the dirt. “We do. I know that. I’m not sure I’d call it profound though.”

I watched as he dragged the small stick through the dirt, drawing a poorly formed heart. “Shaz, the two of you share something that is filled with wonder and beauty. What she and I have is all about blood and death. Don’t underestimate what you are together.”

A wan smile graced his lips. “You know for such a supreme jackass, you can be a pretty decent guy.”

“I know.”

He flicked the twig at me. It bounced off my arm to disappear into the yellow grass. I pointed at the clumsy heart he’d carved into the dirt beside him. “Did you know that style of heart has some pretty strange origins? According to some sources, you just drew a little ball sack. Or possibly a lady’s ass.”

“See what I mean? Jackass.” Shaz’s soft laughter was infectious. It likely wouldn’t be long until we were throwing punches at each other again. This was nice though. It was worth savoring.

We sat in a comfortable silence, each lost in the isolation of our own thoughts. In the still of the forest night, sitting with a man I’d once warred with, I wondered if perhaps it should be me returning to Las Vegas with Jenner.

“I arranged for Kale to go back to Vegas with Jenner,” I said suddenly, the confession dropped from my lips like a toxin I needed to spit out. “It’s his choice, although I may have laid it on thick when I suggested it would be best for Alexa.”

Shaz’s sharp laugh broke the stillness, startling a bird overhead. It took flight, its wings beating rapidly as it fled.

“Is that guilt I hear?” he asked with obvious amusement. “I never thought I’d see the day. So you do have it in you.”

“If you tell anyone, I’ll have to kill you.” I grinned. The unfortunate part was that my guilt was fed entirely by the fact that I didn’t feel bad about making such arrangements for Sinclair.

“Would it make you feel like less of an asshole if I told you that I like the sound of that plan?” His laugh turned bitter. “He brings out the worst in her. I wouldn’t be sorry to see him go.”

“She’s going to kick my ass.”

“Oh, hell yeah, she will.”

“Thanks, pup. That helps.”

Shaz punched me in the shoulder. “Now that you’ve told me about it, I’ll go down with you.”

It wasn’t funny, but all we could do was laugh. This was a dark time for all of us. Alexa was strong. She would come out the other side of this. If separating her from Kale was what it took, then so be it. I could live with her wrath if it meant saving what was left of her sanity.

I wasn’t disillusioned enough to believe that I had the answers she needed. There was nothing I could teach her about being a hybrid. There was no secret to be revealed that would make this any easier. However, I knew firsthand the blissful agony of being a new vampire. I would see her through this.

“We’d better head back,” Shaz said, eyeing the sky.

I nodded my agreement and rose to follow him. He shifted back to wolf, bumped his head against my hand and trotted through the trees, back the way we’d come. For just a moment I considered reaching out to Alexa through the mental connection we shared. I didn’t, choosing instead to leave it to her to make that move when she was ready.

Shaz was a white streak up ahead, pausing occasionally to glance back at me. I took my time though I could have matched his pace. Leaving the forest left me feeling melancholy.

I had to laugh to myself. If Alexa could see Shaz and me now, it would blow her mind. It might be best that she couldn’t. There was no telling how long this camaraderie would last.