Small Town Girl (10 page)

“Oh, Caleb,” she whispered into his shoulder. “I’m afraid to talk. I’m afraid to wake up from this dream.”

“Shh. Shh,” he soothed her, kissing her fragrant hair again. “We won’t talk now. It’s not time to talk. It’s time to be together. This is our time. These moments right now. Don’t be afraid. Come as close to me as you can and don’t be afraid.”

Lauren had never felt so safe, so loved. Then, it wasn’t just physical, she thought dreamily, feeling the rhythm of his breathing. The soft sounds of the night lulled them, and they drifted off to sleep as though they had been two birds in a nest of down, gently rocking in the night breeze.

Later, they awoke. It was not dawn yet, but the sliver of new moon had set and it was very dark. They explored each other all over again, each worshiping the other’s body, reveling in the breathlessness of every moment. Lauren opened herself to him, and Caleb filled her every physical desire. Then it was her turn. With her hands and her lips, she caressed him, thrilling at the power of his muscles, wondering how he could be so hard and yet so gentle at the same time. Wondering how he could raise her to such heights with a simple touch.

At five o’clock, the dawn crept in. Lauren peered over Caleb’s shoulder to look out the window. She watched as the brilliant rays of the first sunlight pierced the gently swirling morning mists, illuminating the tiny water droplets so that the very air seemed washed in gold. Caleb moved, and she felt his arm around her.

“Are you awake?” he whispered.

“Yes. Just watching the sun come up. It’s beautiful. I’m rarely up this early.”

Caleb chuckled softly. “I get up this time every morning.” He turned in the bed and they lay face to face. Lauren buried her face in Caleb’s chest, loath to let this fantasy end. He said, “I don’t want to get up today.”

“Caleb, I — ” she started.

“We’ll figure things out,” he said, laying a finger on her lips. She ducked her head to his chest again and this time her lips found his nipple. She kissed it tenderly, then rolled it in her teeth, biting down, exerting more and more pressure until she heard his gasp. She felt his manhood rise up beneath her. She slipped down in the bed and ran her tongue the length of it, culminating with a succulent kiss on the torrid tip. She licked it feverishly with her tongue and then buried her face in the thick, curly hair fragrant with the odor of lovemaking. She covered his belly with little love bites, tasting the saltiness of him.

This time their lovemaking seemed more frantic, more frenzied, as though they knew the day was upon them. Suddenly, Caleb threw back the covers of the bed and rolling onto his back, he gripped her around her waist, lifting her over him. She opened her love-flushed thighs, and he settled her down on that silky spear that was his passion for her come to life. Then he thrust up with his hips, piercing her to her soul, again and again until she thought she would faint with the glorious sensation. At last, the culmination of her desire broke over her. She moaned out loud and slumped forward onto his chest as he filled her fiery femininity with the scalding proof of his satiation.

Lauren lay on Caleb’s chest. They held each other, still physically one. Their sweat mingled. When at last he turned out from under her, their parting was painful in the most pleasurable way. They rested for a while, watching the day get lighter and brighter.

Finally, it was time to get up. Caleb showered while Lauren made coffee. The gauze was beginning to lift from her mind, and suddenly she was filled with guilt. What had she done? What had she been thinking? She had never in her life done anything like that before, but then again, she had never been quite so drawn to a man as she was toward Caleb. She had actually been helpless from his first touch. Her body had taken over, responding to his body on some primal level. And now the deed was done. She had cheated. She had cheated on Charles. Could she ever tell him about it? Could she slough it off and go on, like nothing had happened? Something had happened, though. Lauren could not forget the way she had felt when their bodies had melded as one. She could not forget the feel of Caleb’s mouth on her mouth, her breasts, on the very center of her femininity.

Lauren’s hands began to shake a little as she heard Caleb coming down the stairs. She poured two mugs of coffee to steady herself. He entered the kitchen, dressed in his jeans and T-shirt, his damp hair sticking out in all directions in the most attractive manner. They sat at the kitchen table, looking out across the old garden, silently sipping their coffee.

Finally, Lauren spoke up. “Caleb, I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what came over me, but I want you to know that I’ve never done anything like that before.” She was embarrassing herself, she thought.

Caleb gave a little laugh as he sipped his coffee. “Well, the important thing is did you enjoy yourself?”

She stared at him, horrified. Had it all been a charade that she had gullibly and willingly taken part in? Had all his pretty words and touches been just totally self-serving? Had that passion that burned between the two of them been nothing but a ruse to get him what he wanted at the moment? Last night she could have sworn to a bond between them. She
knew
. A man couldn’t fake something like that. Or could he?

He saw the look on her face. “Look,” he said, more gently, “I know you’re engaged. I know you’re going back to the city. I’m a realistic guy.” He set his mug down. Lauren thought he was going to reach for her hand, but instead he folded his arms across his chest. She had seen that body language before. He was shutting her out. He had put up his defenses. He leaned back in the old kitchen chair, away from her. “I want you to know, I haven’t ever done anything like that either. I was married before.” Here, he stopped and sighed. Lauren didn’t tell him what Joan had confided. Instead, she waited.

Caleb continued, in a soft voice, “I met a girl. Her name was Julie. We fell in love. We got married. We bought that little house that I still live in. She was so happy there. So happy. We lived there about a year. Then, she got sick. She got sick and she died. I just didn’t want to go on.”

Lauren’s eyes teared up, stinging as she blinked them back. She reached her hand across the table, but Caleb kept his posture, arms folded, leaning back in his chair. “Oh, Caleb,” she said, sincerely touched, “I am so, so sorry.”

“That was almost five years ago,” he said, looking down at the floor. “And do you know, you are the first woman I’ve slept with since the last time Julie and I made love.” He hung his head. Lauren said nothing. How could she comment on such heartbreak? She waited.

Caleb looked up. He gave a little smile. “My father, he’s a good man. He’s a smart man, too. He told me he wanted to retire, and he made me take over the business. Just like that, he turned it over to me. He saddled me with the responsibility of eleven employees, fifteen hundred customers, and just as we were expanding into fuel oil. I was so busy, I couldn’t see straight. I worked from dawn until way after dark. It saved my life, I think. And my father, he said he wanted to retire, but he was right there with me most of the time, helping me through. I didn’t even know it until I look back on it from this angle. Now, he pretty much is retired, but he barely left my side for the first couple of years.” Caleb stopped and looked at her, a strange, enigmatic grin on his face. “Maybe you fit the bill because I knew nothing could happen. I knew you’d be leaving and not coming back.”

Lauren felt the hurt as her stomach pitched. She knew he was right, but she hadn’t wanted to hear it. She opened her mouth to say something, but Caleb kept talking. “Don’t get me wrong. You’re a beautiful woman, and there was something about you that attracted me the first time I saw you. As for last night, it felt good. It felt good to hold you, but in the cold light of day, I know there can’t be anything between us. I know you’re leaving. Besides, we’re too different. You like the city and your job and your fancy stuff. You said so. I’ll be here till the day I die and I love it here. I guess I could go anywhere or buy anything I like, but I like where I am and what I have.” He sighed deeply. “Thank you, though. Thank you for…for taking me in.” This time he reached out with one hand and laid it over her hand, limp on the table. He squeezed it gently. “To tell the truth, I was afraid to hook up with other women. I was afraid at first with you. I was afraid I couldn’t do it. The memory of my wife is still there. I can see her face as clearly as if I saw it this morning. You’re different, though, and I wasn’t afraid last night. That’s what I want to thank you for. Maybe if circumstances were different, we could have had something, but they’re not, and we’ve both got significant baggage.”

Lauren just stared at him. She could think of nothing to say.

“Lauren, are you all right?”

She blinked and collected her thoughts. She gave her head a toss and tried to physically shake herself back to reality.

“I’m fine,” she said strongly, a bit too loud. She rose to her feet and took the coffee mugs to the sink. “What you say is right, of course. I’m glad you had a good time. I — I did too, but you’re right. We both come from such different worlds. So, Caleb, thank you for a fun evening.” They both forced a laugh. Lauren continued, still facing the sink, afraid to look him in the eye, “And you have a nice life. You’ll find a girl eventually. You’re too warm to spend the rest of your life alone. Me, I’ve got to get back to the city and plan my wedding!”

Caleb stood up. He came up behind her and encircled her waist with his strong hands. He was very close now. His chest just brushed her shoulder blades, evoking memories of the night before. Lauren turned to face him. She felt dizzy, but she couldn’t bring herself to break free from his grasp or push him away. He said softly, “I don’t really care if I find someone again or not. I can live just fine with my memories, but I would like to kiss you goodbye.”

Lauren lifted her face. His soft, full lips sought her mouth hungrily, pressing down until her lips parted, allowing his tongue to meet her own. A thought flitted through Lauren’s mind.
This is what I want.
Immediately, she forced the maverick emotion down, down through to her deep subconscious. It was not a quick kiss. They stood locked in each other’s arms until she could feel his hardness pushing against her, begging her body as it had the night before. Her thighs quivered under her dress.

Caleb let her go then, touching her cheek with his fingers. He stepped back. “I better go,” he said. “I have a busy day. And I’ll stop at the garage on my way back to town and send them up to get your car.” He backed away from her, his hand reaching out for the screen door handle. “You drive carefully back to the city.”

“I will,” she said softly. “Goodbye, Caleb.”

He smiled, nodding at her. Then he was gone. Lauren sat down heavily at the kitchen table. She heard his truck start up, but she would not, could not, look out the window to see it vanishing down the dirt road.

L
AUREN
S
AT
T
HERE
A
T
the kitchen table and tried to remember the name of the garage where hopefully her car was. Nick’s? Rick’s? Dick’s? Something like that. She fumbled through the pages of a five-year-old phone book. Rick’s Garage, Anvil Street. That was it. She punched the number into her iPhone.

“Rick’s,” came the gruff answer.

“This is Lauren Smith. You have my Mercedes, I believe. Have you been able to get it running yet?”

“No.”

Lauren waited, expecting an explanation of the problem. There was silence on the other end. Finally, exasperated, she said, “Well, when do you expect it to be ready?”

“Don’t know. When the part comes in.”

What was with these people and their “parts”?
she thought, frustrated. “When do you expect it to be fixed?” She was trying hard to hold her temper.

“Mid-morning.”

“Okay, will you call me when it’s done?”

“Sure.”

Lauren gave her phone number and hung up. She sighed and looked around, deciding to get busy. She was stuck here until the car was done, anyway. She rose and went upstairs, only to stand in the doorway of the small bedroom, gazing at the bed, sheets and duvet all askew.

“Might as well clean up the scene of the crime,” she said bitterly to herself. She stripped the sheets off the bed and shoved them aggressively into a big laundry bag. When she arrived back in New York, she would wash Caleb Cochran right out of her life. So thinking, she carefully remade the bed with her grandmother’s linens and went back downstairs.

For the next couple of hours, Lauren scrubbed and cleaned various rooms in the house, almost as if she were attempting to wash away the memory of the previous night. At last, she threw the cleaning cloths into the sink and opened the kitchen door for a breath of fresh air.

Lauren meandered out into the yard. Her mind raced and her thoughts were so jumbled, she thought she had better do something or she would go completely mad. She went down on her knees in front of one of the flower beds and began to weed. Even though she had spent most of her adult life thus far in the city, she still knew a weed from a flower.

Lauren worked diligently, concentrating on the flowerbeds, remembering those summers so long ago, when she was a skinny, ponytailed little girl staying with her grandmother while her parents traveled the country championing this cause and that. It had been a peaceful time then, and it was peaceful for her now.
I guess I still love the old place
, she thought, smiling to herself.