Small Town Christmas (Some Very English Murders Book 6) (12 page)

“Not at all,” Mary said.
“It’s more like a theatrical costume so we just spray it with neat alcohol or
really strong vodka or whatever, and it evaporates to take away the smells as
it goes. It doesn’t harm the cloth, that way, you see.”

“There you go,” Ginni said
brightly. “A lovely fresh costume.” Her gaze alighted on Penny once more.

Penny did not like the look
of calculated sympathy in Ginni’s eyes.

“Penny,” she said smoothly.
“I would hate for you to feel that your role had been in any way diminished.
Perhaps this is something you can do?”

“I was really hoping to
enjoy the evening as a spectator,” Penny said, but she was filled with a deep
sense of the inevitable.

Linda tutted. “You do shirk
an awful lot of responsibility,” she said. “We’re only trying to include you as
part of our community.”

Penny knew she was never
going to win if Linda and Ginni both ganged up on her. She admitted defeat
straight away. “Right, okay, fine.”

Ginni grinned. “Excellent,
thank you. Right. The next item we need to address is the one-way system we are
hoping to trial. Cath, I think you have some information to offer to the
meeting?”

Cath began to talk about
temporary pedestrianisation orders, and Penny sank into a gloom.

* * * *

The meeting concluding
without any interruptions this time, and by the end, people were laughing and
talking happily again. Penny was less happy, but everyone assured her she was
merely a stand-in. It was a formality, nothing more.

Yeah,
she thought.
You all said that about the
health and safety role, too.

Jared came over to speak to
her. He met her gaze only briefly, and stammered awkwardly. “Hi Penny, hi Cath.
Er, yeah, so thanks for being the spare Santa.”

“You’re welcome,” Penny
said. “How long do you have to be in the grotto for?”

“I’ll be starting in the mid-afternoon,”
he replied. He was smiling now but still avoiding her eyes. “But we don’t go
much past teatime because it’s only for the little kids. I do actually enjoy
it. I know that seems weird but it’s nice to be part of a family event, and
it’s a great atmosphere. It’s so fashionable to look down on Christmas but I
like it.”

“Me too,” Cath put in. “I am
not so keen on all the cooking on the day itself, but I like the corny, cheesy
films and the songs and all that.”

“You mean that you like the
mulled wine,” Penny said.

“Give over,” Cath said.
“Don’t be a grouch!”

Penny had to smile. “Yeah,
well, okay, I don’t mind Christmas. I just think it goes on for too long, that’s
all. I’ve enjoyed doing the carol singing, though.”

“You’ll be at the Christmas
market doing that?” Cath asked.

“Later in the evening.”

“I’ll have packed up by
then,” Jared said. “I tell the kids I’ve got to go and sort out presents. But
basically I’ll be going to visit my parents, and drinking all their cheap
alcohol.”

“Sounds great.” Penny was pleased
to hear that he wouldn’t be spending Christmas on his own. She was also glad to
find that they could still talk together as friends, and she hoped that soon,
Jared’s crush on her would fade. It certainly seemed that way.

Ginni came to join the three
of them. “Thank you so much, Penny,” she said. “I am sorry I put you on the
spot but it will be fine. It simply covers our back, that’s all.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

“I don’t suppose you are
free at all this week?” Ginni went on. “I forgot to mention in the meeting
about the need for volunteers to help decorate the inside of the grotto. It
won’t take long if there is a few of us.”

“When?” Penny asked. “I’m supposed
to be helping Linda with some flyers, I’ve got my own craft business to keep up
with, there’s the singing, and I haven’t even done my Christmas shopping yet!”

“I’ll help,” Cath said.
“With the grotto, I mean.”

“Would you? Marvellous,”
Ginni said. “I will get back to you on a time; I’m just rounding up volunteers
at the moment. Don’t worry, Penny, if you can’t commit.”

“Thanks.”

“You are taking time for
yourself, aren’t you?” Cath said. “All work and no play.”

“I know. Yes. I’m still
working on my night photography. Drew took me badger watching last week, in the
woods by the slipe, so I thought I’d go out again on Wednesday night with my
camera and see if I can get some nice shots. But that’s the only time I have
free!”

They all grimaced and made
sympathetic murmurings, but Cath was working full-time with a family, Jared
worked long hours, and Ginni ran her own shop as well as leading the committee.
Penny felt like something of a fraud by claiming to be so busy, and she brushed
aside their good wishes.

“When are you getting on
with your shopping?” Cath asked as they left the community hall. She was giving
Penny a lift home in her car, and for once, Penny had agreed.

“I’m going up to Lincoln on
Monday with Francine,” Penny said.

They drove through the
brightly-lit streets, and Cath turned into her street to drop her off.

“Francine? Good luck with
that,” Cath said. “She’ll be so …
enthusiastic
.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m ready for
it.”

They laughed, but Penny was already regretting her
decision.

Penny had a list.

Francine had had three cups of strong coffee and a
compulsion to go into every single shop in Lincoln and its surrounding area.

Penny knew, from the first ten minutes, that they were in
for a long day.

And she had, somewhat foolishly, expected to find that
shopping on a weekday would be quieter than braving the crowds of a weekend,
especially this close to Christmas. Well, if this Monday was quieter than the
weekend had been, then the weekend must have been declared some kind of state
of emergency.

They had ended up parking about a mile and half out of
town, for a start. “We will be getting a bus back to the car,” Penny told
Francine.

Her friend simply skipped ahead, and then disappeared. Penny
fought her way through a knot of people but there was no sign of Francine; she
must have dipped into another shop. The only places nearby were a locksmiths
and an international food shop.

Penny rolled her eyes and went into the
Sklep
to
drag Francine out. She was cooing about the quality of the chocolate. “They use
a different proportion of milk,” she warbled.

“Come on,” Penny said. “We haven’t even started yet.”

Francine dismissed Penny’s carefully planned list. “I
prefer to be open to the serendipitous promptings of the universe,” she
explained.

“Come again?”

“I buy gifts on a whim,” she said. “I follow my heart, and
my heart is hardly ever wrong, except when it comes to how much pizza I should
eat.”

“That’s not your heart, that’s your belly.”

“Sometimes the voice of my belly is the louder one. Oh,
look, wind-chimes made of forks! I must have a closer look!”

Penny sighed, and followed.

* * * *

Taken as a social meeting between friends, the day was a
fun one. They chatted about the murder investigation, and Francine declared
that all four of the suspects – Penny included – seemed equally likely, or
unlikely, to have done it.

But as a shopping expedition, it was a dismal failure, at
least for Penny. She came home with nothing but a packet of Christmas cards to
show for it, and that had been a purchase of obligation simply because she’d
been in the shop for fifteen minutes while Francine debated the relative merits
of slippers with the furry fabric on the inside, or the outside. Penny didn’t
even need to buy any cards at all, as she had already made her own, using
stencils and paint.

Francine went home happy, but Penny then worked late into
the night to catch up with some Christmas orders from her website. Increased
numbers of orders had brought with it increased demands from customers, and she
strove to meet everyone’s requests. Ninety-nine percent of her customers were
normal, pleasant and sane people whom she was happy to help.

But that one percent of unreasonable idiots made her job
very hard. It was the same in any role that dealt with the public, she knew,
but her lifelong career in television had been quite different. She had called
the shots then, not buckled to the demands of numpties.

She gritted her teeth and responded to the latest in a series
of emails that had been exchanged with one woman who was very, very, very
concerned that the bag she wanted to buy was the right shade of duck-egg blue.

“Can’t you make a new one to order but have it a little
lighter because my aunt lives in Wolverhampton” was the most recent and
slightly inexplicable directive.

Penny put some calming music on to listen to while she
worked. It was going to be a long night.

* * * *

One of the reasons that Penny worked so late on Monday
night was because she still had her Christmas shopping to do, and time was
running out. So, on Tuesday, after her walk with Kali, she girded her loins and
returned to Lincoln but this time without Francine. She arrived early and
parked up in the lower area where there had been a lot of new development
around the university. Term was over for most of the students but many were
local residents and the shops and pubs and bars around the Brayford Pool were
buzzing.

Penny decided to walk right through town, over the railway
line and up Steep Hill to the Bailgate, to start her shopping at the far end of
town. That way, she would be walking back to the car as her load got heavier
and heavier. Furthermore, the smaller, independent shops at the top of the city
were much more appealing. She preferred to buy unique gifts and support local
businesses rather than line the pockets of multi-nationals and chain stores
that probably didn’t even pay tax.

And Penny’s plan worked. She managed to buy most of her
planned gifts in boutiques, and by the time she got back to the lower shopping
area, she was pretty much done. Feeling smug, she loaded up her car and saw
that she still had forty minutes left on her parking ticket.

She may as well pop into a café and treat herself, she told
herself.

She was just settling into the corner of a noisy teashop
when she caught sight of Linda Osmond. Penny bent to mess around in her
handbag, hoping to evade detection, but it was too late.

Linda pushed her way over and plonked a cup of tea onto the
table. Her eyes seemed even more prominently outlined than usual.

Why does the dreadful woman plaster on so much make-up?
It can’t be good for her skin
, Penny thought.
It cracks when she smiles.

As it happened, Linda didn’t seem much in the mood for
smiling. She greeted Penny and eased herself down onto the spare chair. A waft
of heavy, cloying perfume crawled up Penny’s nostrils.

“Are you all right?” Penny asked, thinking that Linda’s
awkward movements might mean she had put her back out doing vigorous housework
or something.

“Yes, yes. And yourself?” Linda snapped.

Penny recoiled slightly from Linda’s bared teeth. “Fine,
thanks. I’m just getting on with my Christmas shopping. Have you got all yours
done?”

Linda shook her head. “No. What with one thing and another,
I haven’t been in the mood.”

Penny didn’t know what to say. Linda had made it very clear
she didn’t mourn her estranged brother, yet surely his death had an effect on
her and her family, even if it had been simply the tedious paperwork. Penny
stirred her coffee although it didn’t need stirring. She needed to move her
hands.

Linda was lonely
, she thought.
Why else would she
seek me out? She’s made it quite clear she doesn’t really like me. Or, indeed,
anyone. I don’t think she has any friends at all.

“I’m sorry,” Penny said at last. “I know that sounds lame.”

Linda sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. The corners
of her mouth pulled back. When she looked at Penny again, she seemed tired.
“Thank you,” she said.

Penny nearly dropped her spoon. She didn’t say anything
else. The expression of gratitude from Linda was like a snake bringing you a
cake, and the cake turning out to be really nice and not poisoned at all.

Linda wrapped her hands around her cup. “How are the flyers
coming along?” she asked.

“I’ve done the mock-ups following your spec. You are
welcome to come and see them, or I can bring them to your house.”

“Thank you for all your hard work. I know I am a
perfectionist and it’s not easy to work underneath me.”

Ahh, that was more like Linda.
The snake was
still a snake.
She seemed nice on the surface but she was, as ever, tinged
with a supercilious attitude. Penny was tight-lipped as she said, “It’s okay.”

“May I see them tonight or tomorrow night?”

“I’m carol singing tonight and … well, I was hoping to go
and do night photography in the woods tomorrow. Later today, perhaps? I am
heading home now.”

“I don’t think I will be back in any reasonable time later
today. I’ve come up by bus,” Linda said. “The times that they run, I will be
amazed if I’m home by the new year.”

That was very odd, and it was a chance to find out some
more information. “I thought you drove,” Penny said. “Don’t you have a red
sports car?”