Small Sacrifices (42 page)

Matt could see now Diane understood only facade; she did not grasp that deeds must follow words or words have no meaning.

"Anyway, Matt," she continued. "I am not that hard to figure out. Just look at me and listen. I am a romantic. I love the moon reflecting on the lake. I love to cuddle in front of the fireplace. And I will do just about anything to make a loved one happy. (Short of being a hooker, pusher, or murderer.)

"I am faithful to a fault. And I cannot cheat on a relationship

... I always thought that everyone shared the same feelings I have, but I guess I was mistaken. I love you in that special way, but it is not meant to possess you. Just respect you.

"I have never thought of a baby as an obligation or problem. They are beautiful and full of love ... A child will give more love and happiness than any other creature on earth ... I thought you might feel that way--so I needed to tell you. That way, it was your decision to turn your back on the love of a child, or embrace it. Either way, you are not wrong . . . I just didn't think I had the, right to decide for you, and never let you make the choice.

"I am not a siren," her words flowed in delusion after delusion.

"I never intended, nor do I intend to trap you. I cherish your friendship . . . I'm still willing if you are ... I never wanted to hurt you."

She signed it with a smiling face wearing a halo and then she added (in small printing) "P.S. I have been offered proposals of marriage by four different men in the past two years. None of which were bed partners, by the way. It should be obvious I am not husband seeking."

| But there was something more. This letter was a code letter. A primitive code, certainly--because she had simply circled phrases to be sure that he understood exactly what she was saying. My intention was never to 'trap' you.

I have read you wrong.

Love is not possessing.

Your decision to turn your back on love.

I'll never tell who, I swear.

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Look bad for you.

Nobody knows.

My parents can't do anything--at all.

You won't have to look for a new job or move or be

embarrassed.

He did not answer.

She sent him a Happy Thanksgiving card, addressed to "Hermit," with a note enclosed. She was quite restrained, wondering,

"I don't know why you faded on me."

He didn't call her.

Matt Jensen avoided Diane, even though there were still

occasional messages left on his car's window, even though it meant ducking into a storefront when the postal jeep approached. He had learned a bitter lesson in the temptations of the flesh. His child was growing in the belly of a woman he suspected was a murderess. He remembered back to the clear-eyed, tanned woman in the park who'd seemed so unhappy. He knew now from painful experience that she took what she wanted.

Despite Matt Jensen's rejection, Diane was calmer as October drifted into November. The new life in her womb gave her days purpose again. She met with Jim Jagger to work on her defense in a case that was--like the child inside--still embryonic. No charges had been brought, nothing was happening--but Diane sensed something or someone unseen moving behind her most of the time.

When she turned around quickly, no one was there.

Doug Welch, back in uniform, and Fred Hugi had paced

themselves for the long haul. The resolution would not come quickly, but it would come. Welch carried out the mundane duties handed to him. Hugi took a vacation, went fishing, worked around his property, and ran until the tension eased.

"It was all going to happen--sooner or later--and I knew it." Diane was more impatient; she wanted a quick resolution to the investigation. Publicity was still important to her--the public must not forget who she really was, and what the evil cops were doing to her.

The media in Eugene were Diane's contemporaries--bright

and imbued with the newshound fervor that demands a pace only the young can maintain. Their careers were just starting and Eugene, Oregon, was proving to be a place where their baptisms by fire were assured.

Lars Larson of KVAL TV learned that Diane had filed tort claims against CSD, the Lane County district attorney's office, and the Lane County sheriffs office. He wanted the story behind her suits, and she was happy to oblige. Fred Hugi suspected that fhe real reason Jim Jagger had gone along with Diane's civil suits

was to force the State's hand, to perhaps outrage the public so much that the State would have no option but to go to trial--before Christie could remember. 288 ANN RULE

The tort claims were a replay ofDiane's complaints about the Sheriffs Office and Paula Krogdahl: "Paula Krogdahl from the Lane County District Attorney's Office kept Mrs. Downs from having physical contact with her daughter, all without legal cause or justification. The same Paula Krogdahl removed Christie Downs from the hospital building, and took her outside into the night, in the evening, when it was cold, all contrary to health and wellbeing of Christie Downs ..." (Paula had wheeled Christie just outside the door to the ICU on a warm June evening to show her that the world as Christie had known it still existed, that there was something beyond white sheets and disinfectant at McKenzieWillamette

Hospital.)

Fred Hugi too was singled out in the tort claim: "Finally, an assistant Lane County District Attorney knew of the aforementioned and did nothing to stop this illegal or tortious action and, in fact, harassed and intimidated Mrs. Downs--all without legal cause or justification. (The name of the assistant D.A. is Fred Hugi.)"

Diane's civil attorney had inserted Hugi's name; she herself was barely aware of his existence.

Diane's favorites among the media changed rapidly; if a reporter seemed sympathetic and appreciative, he or she moved toward the top of her list. Diane didn't care for hard, probing questions. Sometimes she liked Larson; more often she preferred Maureen Shine, the KMTR (NBC) anchorwoman. Because Shine was softspoken and seemingly compliant, Diane assumed she had control

over Shine, that it was she who directed their interviews. Shine didn't argue with her--because Diane Downs, feeling confident, was a fascinating interview. If Diane Downs was a burr under the saddle of law enforcement, she was a newsman's plum.

Larson's KVAL story on November 17 led off: "Woman

Threatens Suit for Shooting Probe: Eugene, Oregon--A lawyer for Elizabeth Diane Downs has threatened to sue three agencies for up to $700,000 because of their investigation of shootings last May that left one of her three children dead."

Diane invited Larson out to breakfast. On the way, she drove him by the Slavens' house to show him that she knew where her ^, children lived. Over eggs and toast, she mentioned casually that

she had once been a surrogate mother. It took everything Larson had to keep from jumping up and rushing out with this information. He forced himself to chew slowly.

Then afraid she'd favored KVAL (CBS) unduly, Diane suggested that Maureen Shine come by the house. She gave Shine

an interview about Christie--stressing that Christie was OK, and that even the District Attorney's office didn't mind that she had actually visited with Christie. "People do think of her and Clan a

lot." Diane told every reporter who would listen--print and visual media--about her wonderful reunion in Hendricks Park with Christie, about how happy Christie had been to see her mother, about all the hugs and kisses.

It was too much for Fred Hugi. "She was so blithe. It only made me more determined than ever. The question was, 'Will she destroy our case--and Christie--quicker than we can put it together?' "

Diane's stolen visit had set Christie back weeks--if not months--in her therapy. How could a child of that age juggle her just-surfacing memories of horror with the smiling face of the mother who hugged her in the park and told her she must not tell secrets? Christie was wrenched by conflicting emotions: fear, grief, love, longing. She had just begun to adjust to her new world, and now her psychic scars had been ripped open again.

"We were on a collision course," Hugi remembers. "There was going to be a trial someday. There was the remote possibility that the gun would surface. Or that Diane would tell someone the truth--someone she'd soon alienate--or that Christie would be able to talk. If we don't use Christie, the defense has a big plus. They know I've committed myself. At some point, I'll have to go ahead with or without her."

Both Diane and Steve Downs were charged with contempt of court for flouting Judge Foote's order that Diane must not visit the children.

A "show cause" hearing was set for December 9. Steve and Diane Downs would be called upon to show--if they could--that they hadn't violated Foote's order.

The specter of a court appearance didn't appear to make

Diane apprehensive. With each interview now, she revealed more; she was a woman whose life was honeycombed with secrets, and she exposed them at her own pace, opening them for the media

"he so many Christmas packages.

Every time Fred Hugi turned on the television set, he saw Diane Downs criticizing the investigation, emphasizing her favorite line. "If I'm guilty, why don't they arrest me?" Diane's television appearances in November and December

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were so frequent that it seemed only be a matter of time until she had her own show. Hugi felt like the loneliest man in the world. His case had sunk to its lowest ebb. He sat alone late at night with no one to talk to. Oh, he could have awakened Joanne, and she would have listened. But what the hell was the use? He thought about Diane all the time, out there in her beloved television land, laughing, maybe figuring out the next way she'd get her hands on Christie. It had been more than five months since the shooting, and where were they? She was running them around like Keystone Kops.

Hugi got to his office after a sleepless night just in time to pick up the phone; Jim Jagger had news.

" Diane's pregnant."

Great. She was growing another baby for herself. His first thought was, "Are we going to have to wait another nine months to get this trial?" Now the public that hated Fred Hugi for

relentlessly pursuing a young mother, could hate Fred Hugi for relentlessly pursuing a pregnant young mother.

Didn't anybody care about this case? Was he crazy for hanging on and hanging on? Sometimes he thought he was.

The public, always ambivalent about Diane Downs, had begun to believe that if the woman was guilty of anything, she would have been arrested months ago. Letters reflecting a certain outrage at her treatment reached the media and Hugi.

Sir:

There is something basically wrong with our governmental process when the judicial system can unilaterally confiscate property (or children) without ever filing charges of a

crime committed! To be innocent until proven guilty is the basis of our judicial system!

The case of Elizabeth Downs exemplifies this fault. Were you or your wife to be murdered, do you believe that the survivor should have your children removed without even

visitation rights? GOOD LORD, I hope not!

t Mtg ... Yet the UNACCUSED defendant has been deprived

' , JSs of HER rights as a natural mother. There is only one solu-^ tion, and her attorney should pursue it. Ask government to

PUT UP OR SHUT UP! Another way to state it is "Ante up or surrender the pot!"

... Is justice only available to the rich? This situation could happen to YOU and that should scare YOU, just as it does me!!

DA Pat Horton had been quoted as saying that the Downs

investigation was complete. So had Dave Burks. What did that mean? The rumor mills were alive with frenzied activity. A certain proportion of the population of Lane County believed there was a man with a gun out there, walking free. They figured they had good reason to be afraid. Subtle pressure was put on the DA and the Sheriff's Office. Pressure to do something.

As 1983 wound down, it looked doubtful that anyone would be arrested soon. The public, of course, could not understand the untenable situation Fred Hugi found himself in. Take a chance, and maybe lose in court--and the killer goes free, forever. Wait-and the good, but misinformed, citizens screamed for justice. Hugi filed away the letters and fielded the phone calls. He knew the public was getting restless, just as he knew that some members of the sheriffs team were angry. He remembers Novem-ber, 1983, as the worst possible period in the progress of the Downs investigation. Progress--hell, they were going backward by November.

December 9, 1983.

Diane appeared at the show cause hearing dressed demurely. She wore a pink overblouse and a pink cardigan sweater was draped loosely over her shoulders. Profile shots taken that day show a serene, pensive Diane--a dead ringer for Princess Diana. She carried herself differently; the practiced eyes of the television cameramen told them she might be pregnant, even though she was only two months into gestation.

This was a new Diane, far different from the bereaved victim, the enraged mother, or the brazen hussy. Very soft, moving more slowly, even speaking slowly. On this day, she gained a nickname:

"Lady Di," to most, and "Lady Die" to doubters. She appeared tired, and she cried often during her testimony, particularly when Fred Hugi asked her to read aloud the letter she'd written to Lew--drunkenly but deliberately--to be sure the _ithorities knew she'd seen Christie.

Bfc Diane testified that Steve had told her to lie about the visit, lhat she was to say he had taken the children to the park, expect

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ing only to meet their Uncle Paul, that it was she who had surprised them by showing up instead.

"He said I'd better stick to his version or he's going to 'take me out,' and if you know Steve, you know that means he's going to kill me. What he said really was, 'If they [the police] don't put you away, I'm going to take you out.' "

Diane was unharried by Fred Hugi's questioning. She recognized Doug Welch as an enemy, but she still hadn't spotted Hugi as anything more than a tall, quiet man who worked for the prosecutor.