Slow Ride (Riding with Honor) (9 page)

“I dream about this hair…from the first day I watched you crossing the parking lot of the school it has haunted me.  I picture it fanned around us while you fuck me,” he said against her neck.

“No…
you don’t…” she started.

“Oh but I do...” he said as he brought the strand of hair up and used it to tickle around her mouth and lips
. “I’ve been reduced to touching myself and imagining it’s your lips wrapped around me.”

She rested her head back against his thick shoulder and closed her eyes.  She could barely function between the images his words created in her mind and the way he
was able to spread tingling, and a bone deep ache through her body with his touch.

“Open your eyes
, Dana…I want you to see the lovely vision that I’ve seen every day this week,” he whispered against her temple.

“I can’t…”
she whispered back.

He slid one hand down her stomach and
, pushing her hands aside, he dipped his finger between the folds of her sex and rubbed the nub found between.  Her whole body jerked at the sensation of his fingers there…and her eyes flew open in shock at the tremor that rocked through her.

“See
, you can…now keep them open so you can see what I see when I close my eyes at night,” he said.

Dropping the strand of hair he still held
, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her backside tightly against his front.  The strong hand and fingers exploring her sex took on a magical rhythm that had her rocking back against him, helpless to stop it from consuming her from the inside out.

“God you’re wet…” he said as he sharply inhaled and briefly closed his eyes.  His breathing
was becoming as erratic as hers.

She could feel his hardness against her bottom and somehow it made the ache in her even worse.  His fingers never relented and his eyes never left hers as he stroked her faster and faster until the tension building in her seemed to erupt.

“Oh God Tommy!” she cried out and she could see a flush start at her neck and travel down her chest in the mirror.

“Do you know
how many times I’ve watched you come like this for me in my dreams?” he asked her angrily.

Dana tried to calm her breathing as spasms of pleasure continued to shoot through her even though his fingers had stilled their movements. 
What had he done to her?

“I don’t want you?  Like hell I don’t!  Your hot body coming just from me touching you tells me you want me too
,” he said angrily and then suddenly released her. 

He stared at her in the mirror for several long moments and Dana saw a look of pain shoot across his handsome face before he turned and left the room.  She heard his heavy footsteps heading down the hall and then the slam of her front door. 

Wait!
Her heart cried.

God what had he done to himself?
  It felt like starting a diet the day before Thanksgiving.  A buffet of lustful thoughts assailed him and he’d only been given one bite…one! 

Damn the woman! How could she possibly think he didn’t want her?  She was slowly consuming his whole world.  His focus should be on his kids, not
her.

Forcing his mind from the image of her in the mirror, anger seemed to consume him.  He’d gone there to beg her to stay in the girls’ lives, at least for a little while longer.  One look at her and he’d wanted to wrap himself in her…lose his mind making love to her. 

He just needed a little bit longer to convince her that he wasn’t the piece of shit she obviously thought him to be.  Then he would…
what?
  What did he want from her besides to quench his thirst for her body and drown the feelings she invoked in him between those legs. 
Her legs went on for miles.

He still needed to get a gift for Gretchen’s
birthday so he headed to the mall.  If the toy store with the mass of screaming kids didn’t push all thoughts of that hair and those eyes from his mind…he would…hook up with Chuck later and get something to drink…

No
. The thought of some skank hanging on him not only wasn’t appealing, but almost turned his stomach.  He was going to have to suffer this one out.  If he couldn’t have Dana he didn’t want anyone else. 
What?  Where had that thought come from?

As he parked his bike and headed into the mall images of her holding and rocking Melody, kissing her tiny head and looking as though she were in love with the child assailed him. 

That memory was quickly replaced with one of finding her out on the playground with Gretchen on her lap swinging double, both of their heads thrown back and their hair flying in the wind, laughing…
God this was killing him!
 

He just needed a chance!
  Why did she push him away yet hold onto the girls like a lifeline?  It was obvious she had strong feelings for both of them…why not him too?

He shouldn’t have jumped her like a maniac…he should have
convinced her to talk to him…tell him what he had to do to make her love
him
like
he
…

“The first time I looked at her…”
Bobby had said when he’d asked him when he knew Lilly was the one for him.

This feeling…
this
was what made Bobby so crazy the two weeks Lilly had been gone from his life.  The man had been moody as hell and nothing and no one could seem to snap him out of it. 

When
Lilly had come back it had been like she had made everything all right in Bobby’s world again.  He understood it now…the light bulb was on up there and shining brightly.  The difference was Lilly loved Bobby in return. 

Dana hadn’t been able to look him in the eye.  Her body had responded but it wasn’t enough…he needed her soul to respond…her heart.

Dana sat on the edge of her bed until her legs stopped shaking and the intense shocks of pleasure subsided.  She had thought that this would be it…this time it would happen…he would finish what he had started with her body and she had wanted it...
oh she had wanted it so bad.
 

Wanting Tommy was nothing like how she had thought she wanted Jason Hemming…no thoughts of wanting to be his girlfriend or an upgrade in social standing amongst her peers. 

She had wanted to see where the fire in his touch would lead them…what connecting on that level with another person…
with him
…was like.

She hated the insecurity that seemed to ride around on top of her shoulders, making her doubt her appearance…what she said…always thinking she wasn’t good enough.  This time she had let it keep her from…taking
a chance…giving him a chance.

He was so…
hot.
  Even now, knowing she had blown any chance to be with him, some part of her still felt in awe that he had done those things to her…without finishing…just to prove that he wanted her. 
Her!  Dana Atkinson!

She had to find him…apologize for the hurt look she had seen in his eyes. 
God his eyes
…they had seemed to lick every inch of her as they watched her in the mirror. 

She should have begged him to let her help with the baby…with Gretchen.  They were angels…both of them…she should
be fighting to be a part of their lives.  Her insecurities might nearly keep her from fulfilling her dream of being a mother…maybe not in the way she had hoped for…but those little girls needed her and she needed them…
she needed Tommy too.

Dana dressed and hit up her laptop for the phone number to the shop where Tommy worked
.  Then realizing the time she grabbed her keys and headed out to the hospital.  That is where he would be…they had missed Melody’s noon feeding but he would still stop by to see her. 

The girls were his world it seemed. 
What man does that?
  If his handsome face and amazing body weren’t enough to attract women, seeing him with either of the two little girls would definitely do the trick.

When she made it to the NICU floor and into the area where Melody was, she was shocked to hear Tommy’s voice coming from a small radio near the incubator.  The baby was sleeping peacefully and Dana could only look at her.  She would have given anything to have been this little girl’s mother…losing out on being a mother didn’t mean that she couldn’t be a support system for them…for Tommy. 

If she could find him she would take a chance…offer to help him with the girls…anytime…for any reason.  Beg him to let her remain in their lives.  They had stolen her heart just as easily as he had…

Oh God!
  She was in love with him!  Not teenage drama kind of love but the real deal…and she had blown it. 
Stupid…why did she do that?
  Falling in love wasn’t in the cards for her…it never had been in the cards for her.

One of the nurses, Joan, who seemed to go above and beyond her job requirements stopped over by her and peered in at Melody.

“Have you seen Tommy?” Dana choked out.

“He was in here earlier this morning…gave us this miracle CD he recorded.  I’m not sure what he does for a living but I think he missed his calling…Lord
girl but you are one lucky woman,” she said, smiling and fanning her hand in front of her face.

“Anyways, he said Miss Gretchen’s birthday was this weekend and he needed to get ready for her party and wasn’t sure if and when he would be back in today.  I’m glad one of you was able to come though as I’m sure Melody is too.  You want to hold her?”
Joan finished.

“Yes, please
,” she replied, sitting in the rocking chair.

She hung around for about an hour and was able to give Melody her afternoon bottle.  Looking at her she could see the baby’s face was finally starting to look pinkish rather than the dull gray color that was so alarming to see. 

After realizing she was stalling in hopes that Tommy would show up, she finally let the nurse put Melody back in the incubator and left.

Deciding to try one last time to make this right before being forced to wait
until Monday, she called the shop where he worked.

“Bobby’s Custom Chop Shop, this is Lilly.  Can I help you?”

“Umm…is Tommy there?” she asked.

“No
, I’m sorry… Tommy took the day off today and won’t be in.  Is there something I can help you with or one of the other guys…?” she asked.

Inhaling a breath of courage she said
, “This is Dana Atkinson, we met the other night.  I…umm… Tommy came to talk to me earlier and…he left…angry…and I was trying to find him.  Do you know where he’s at?”

“No
, I’m sorry I don’t,” she said with a slight pause. “I know this is
none
of my business but…he called earlier and told Bobby he wouldn’t be in today…that there was something he needed to do.  I know it doesn’t have anything to do with Gretchen since I will be picking her up later and keeping her overnight.”

“
I also don’t think it has anything to do with Melody since he usually comes back to work after he visits her.  I’m going to go out on a limb here and tell you that from what I’ve seen…Tommy doesn’t go after women…
they
chase after
him
.  So if he took off
work
to talk to you…I’d say that speaks volumes,” Lilly said.

“I’m starting to see that but I…”
her words died in her throat.

After a long pause Lilly said
, “I tell you what… Gretchen would just die if you could come to her party tomorrow.  She
really
looks up to you.  I’m taking her to get our nails and hair done at a salon downtown after the party.  Maybe you will both have cooled off by then and could talk while we’re gone…if you don’t catch up to him before then.”

“I don’t know…I’ll think about it
,” she offered.

Lilly gave her the time and address for the party before ending the call.  She headed to a small hobby shop she’d seen and found a beginner’s model of a motorcycle that had Gretchen’s name all over it
.  After her purchase she headed home to her apartment and the memories it now held for her.

As evening rolled around she was going crazy with hoping he would call or stop by.  She called the NICU and checked on Melody and savored the fact that her weight had stopped fluctuating and was holding steady at over two pounds. 

Having no more patience, she tried Tommy’s cell phone.  Talking to him over the phone wasn’t what she wanted…face to face was what she needed… but desperation forced her hand.  It was getting late and she was out of options.

No answer. 
Damn!

She should just go to the damn birthday party…corner him and tell him about himself.  She was already showered and dressed with gift in hand.  Yes, she’d screwed up but he’d left without a backwards glance… no call…no second chance…no
nothing.