Slow Burn (16 page)

One question she had to ponder: did she truly pay attention
to Derrick, or was she just using him as an outlet for her magic because her
life had been disrupted?

His hands gripped her shoulders. He bent down and looked her
in the eyes. Annoyance rolled off him. Nothing she couldn’t manage.

The corners of his mouth curled upward in a smile. “I love
that you alone make me hard. And that you can pull tension from me. Feel it
roll off my body in gentle waves.”

She started to lean into him but he held her fast. Then she
knew she wasn’t using him. She’d never admit it—not her style—but she at least
had love for him.

The emotions swarming off him slowed to a dull roar that
only she could hear, only she could feel. They concentrated, centered over her
heart, and wrapped around it like a soft blanket.

Her breath caught in her throat.

“I don’t know what you’ve done to me, but I know we’re
bound,” he whispered, his voice so low another human would have strained to
hear it.

Her eyes widened, she nearly choked on a breath. Her chest
tightened with need, with fear. “How? How do you know I did it?”

His nostrils flared. He shook his head, blinked, and brought
his mouth dangerously close to hers. “I don’t know. I just feel it.” He took
her hand in his, held it to his chest.

His heart beat a steady rhythm beneath her hand, pulsing
with life. Pounding with desire cloaked by the annoyance of her earlier
actions, it still beat a steady chorus to her own.

“Why don’t you…” Her mouth felt dry. Her body ached, muscles
clenched between her thighs. Breasts felt heavy until Derrick cupped them both.

He leaned forward again, took her mouth slowly.

She let his tongue roam over the contours of her lips before
feeling it slide down her collarbone, neck, and over the tops of her breasts.

Heat seared her flesh, cream wet her slickness.

“I want you, my mate.” The depths of his emotions were
buried in the deep growl of his voice.

She knew exactly how his heart yearned for her even if he
feared this relationship.

It scared him. Good. It scared her, too.

“Come with me, my pretty witch.”

“Make me come,” she begged, aware of the breathlessness in
her voice. She didn’t care. Flames of lust singed her, controlled her body
now—not her mind, not logic. Every nerve burned and needed sating by
fulfillment, and the only fulfillment that existed for her was Derrick.

He undid the snap on his jeans, tore them down his hips with
one hand, and held his cock against her belly. “Beg me.”

The air rushed out of her lungs at his incredulous demand.
She stared at him, mouth hanging open, before she finally said the one thing.
“Now?” Her voice had grown raspy.

“Yes.”

Derrick wanted the mating game. She’d let the secret out and
he was going to take it full on, dominance and all.

Could she beg?

“I’m burning for you, baby. I need inside of you. Beg me.”
He growled, a low sound that rumbled through her chest, exciting her further.

She wanted, needed. “Where?”

He narrowed his eyes, the puma’s glow becoming dangerously
visible to her now. “Inside you, now. I want inside you.”

“Yes.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him
to her. “But where? We’ve already soiled—”

His mouth claimed hers possessively. His tongue thrust past
her lips in a forceful move that demonstrated his claim on her.

Her body responded by tensing.

Derrick’s fingers massaged her ass, roamed up her hips, and
reached her breasts. One hand pulled her to him.

She felt the swollen flesh of his cock and her body ached
for it. She wanted him—needed him. She pulled back, savored the taste of his
mouth and masculinity. Before she knew it, his hands were on her hips, turning
her around.

“I need you badly,” he mouthed against her back.

A shiver of delight ran straight up her spine and shot cream
to her pussy. Her thighs slicked even more, spread apart when he thrust a knee
between them and kicked her stance open.

Again, his fingers dug into her hips and pulled her back
from the counter. One arm bent her forward, the other tugged lightly on her
hair. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured against her ear. “So very beautiful.”

She felt the head of his cock press into her opening, and
before she could react, he impaled her. Sonja gasped, arched her back, and
thrust against him.

He filled her to the hilt.

His fingers dug into her flesh, the palm of one hand roamed
up her flat stomach and cupped a breast. Fingers pinched her nipple into an
even tighter peak, pulling a scream from her.

She wanted this, needed the connection with him if they were
to be bound and mated. She’d think about the consequences later, but for now,
she needed him to satisfy her.

The aching bud between her legs swelled.

Slowly, Derrick pulled out of her. His hands shook against
her.

Slickness coated his dick inside her and made it slightly
easier for her to take his length and girth, but when he thrust in deep and
hard, harder than before, it tore a scream from her.

Derrick stoked the fire inside her, slowly though, taking
time to truly show his appreciation.

His mouth lowered against her neck, lips caressed her skin.

She turned to look at him, intense lust burning in half open
eyes, her hands gripping the marble countertop so hard her knuckles turned
white.

Derrick slammed into her again, her muscles responding to
him by clenching him tighter than he ever thought possible. He growled his low
sounds of pleasure into her ear. “Goddamn, you’re so tight. If we’re mates…” He
let the words trail off as he pulled back and thrust inside her again.

“If the sex is at least worth it…” She tried to get the full
sentence out, but he moved and growled again.

He withdrew and plunged in rapidly and began a rhythm of
thrusting, pausing, slapping her ass with one hand, and fondling her breast in
the palm of the other.

The sensations produced from everything pulled the knot in
her belly even tighter until it was too much. Her eyes slammed shut, her
breathing became ragged while her muscles clenched around Derrick’s cock.

“You’re so tight, baby, so damn tight. A man could get lost
in you forever.”

She barely heard the words but understood them very well.
Each thrust reassured her that her body and heart enslaved her. She’d had a few
one-night stands and some of her fans had been good, great even. But none were
magnificent. Not like Derrick. None could be counted on to come after her or
risk their lives for her. For seemingly no reason.

Before she could finish another thought, Derrick’s hand
caught her ass cheek, sending a stinging throughout her that pushed her over
the chasm.

He kept pumping, pushing. His teeth caught flesh and his
tongue danced over her skin.

She arched against him, into him, letting the force of her
orgasm explode through her entire being.

Out it burst, while he continued thrusting inside her.

“Spill inside me, puma!”

He picked up the slight hint of magic that could have pulled
his orgasm. Derrick thrust faster, harder, but stopped slapping her ass.
Instead, he gripped her tightly, drove himself into her, and bit down on her
shoulder possessively.

In seconds, he filled her cream-soaked pussy with cum,
shooting deep inside her several times before he stopped. His body shook around
hers, adding to the tremors that whipped through her.

Sweat-covered and cum-filled, Sonja felt a pair of strong
arms wrap around her and hold her against the strong body behind her. With him
still inside her, his mouth fell on her, tasting, licking.

She could barely turn her head to meet his kisses. Reaching
up was a chore, but she managed to capture him and thread her fingers through
the dark strands of hair. Derrick’s scent smelled of her, sex, and man.

She couldn’t ignore the fact that his eyes had changed shape
again, resembling the primal puma now, not the man who could shift.

She should be afraid.

But surrounded by Derrick’s arms, the dread she should feel
didn’t seem so bad. In fact, his strong arms reassured her, put her at ease
with the world.

This she liked. Very much so.

“I’ll be the therapist now.” He interrupted the silence with
a nuzzle to her cheek.

She cocked a brow. “Hmm?”

“It’s going to cost you.” He wriggled his hips against her,
stirring her passion again, despite how tired she’d suddenly grown.

“What keeps such a pretty witch up at night? Talk to me,
lover. Basic therapy, not witchcraft, like you said earlier, right?”

Should she? The shit weighing down her head was no different
than what Derrick carried, what she’d taken from him, but she didn’t want to
add to his burden. He’d had enough, and with the little gift she’d placed in
his heart, he’d be able to mitigate that somewhat and she could help him once
things ended between them, even from across the globe. She yawned and tried to
cover her mouth, but he took her hand and placed a chaste kiss on her palm,
sealed her fingers around it, and held it to his heart. “Later, baby?”

“I’ll hold you to that promise.”

She nodded and settled against him. Perhaps there could be
peace with Derrick. They could deal with the worlds they lived in, though she
had to admit that all she knew about him came directly from his actions.
Steadfast, he’d come through every time she needed someone. He stroked her bare
thighs and held her against him, as though he could protect her.

In that moment, she believed it. It didn’t matter that in a
few days this would all be over, she had right now. And right now, she swallowed
the lump in her throat and realized that Derrick had left a permanent mark on
her heart.

Chapter Nine

Showered again, this time both of them dressed with the
intent to act after getting the last bit of information needed from the bear.
Max was awaiting their call.

She wore black jeans and a low-cut top that showed off the
lower half of her forearms. Her blood-red mane hung around her face,
emphasizing round eyes and plump lips.

With her perfect hips swaying, Derrick had trouble keeping
his eyes off her ass.

She also wore his trench coat and he decided he liked how it
looked on her, giving her the impression of creeping death that would intensify
when she wore corpse paint.

Even though Max shared a file of her earlier, Derrick knew
more than that file could ever contain. Her body rocked, responded to his. Her
courageous attitude wouldn’t let her show fear even though he smelled it on
her. Humans couldn’t hide scent, and when she tried, he found it cute. Even
told her once. But her nervous laughter confirmed his thoughts and only made
him hold her closer. He would never accuse her of being weak or lesser.

Derrick smiled at her, blew a puff of smoke over her head,
and held her hand in his.

He’d dressed ready to kill. Steel-toed boots, long-sleeved dress
shirt, and lightweight black pants hugged his form. He kept his hair down,
too—at Sonja’s request.

The puma almost reared its head at being told what to do,
reminding him of his animalistic nature. That scared him just a little. She had
proclaimed they were mates. He hadn’t bothered to really question it, but it
was easier to go with how he felt, even though it terrified him. Allowing harm
to come to her made him even more determined to hold onto her.

It made sense that he felt overly protective over her. Even
now she fought against herself—he read the expression on her face. What horrid
nightmares kept her awake at night? She’d said the energy she picked up was
negative; maybe he could filter that for her, too. In the same sense, he could
hold off or filter the day-to-day stuff after her shows if they were to make a
go of things. Maybe they would balance each other out. He noted his nightmares
seemed not to exist these days.

He leaned back against the leather recliner facing the door;
a gun lay at his side, loaded and cocked in case someone other than Max came
through it. Bars covered the windows, though it was ridiculous to think someone
would try to scale the building just to come in through the windows. The walls
of the former storage space were metal, slick, and kept fairly clean, with just
enough dirt and wear and tear to keep out the average intruder.

Sonja interrupted their comfortable silence. “Max lives here
permanently, huh?”

Derrick nodded.

“Interesting.” She blinked.

She closed her eyes and pursed her lips together. Steeping
her fingers, she looked lost in thought. Again. “What’s on your mind?”

She met his gaze directly. The low light reflected off her
bluish eyes, accentuating the silver. Her eyelashes fluttered, detracting from
the deadly look she tried to pull off.

“I’m not sure.” She sighed.

The sound floated over his extra-sensitive ears, carrying
with it emotions so heavy that they made him reach for her.

Their palms met and a single spark ignited between them.

He smiled.

She started to frown but her lips curved upward instead.

“You like that comfort, don’t you?”

Slowly, Sonja looked away. Hesitation to answer had a scent,
too—not necessarily the best one, but Derrick could only describe it as how the
color brown would taste if it were a food.

“Talk to me. If we’re mated, fine. I told you already, I
accept that. But you’re trying to control a situation best left to
professionals.”

“Best left to professionals?” She quirked a brow.

He nodded. “They don’t teach us how to be in love or have a
relationship outside of the con jobs required of spies.”

She laughed. “You can’t really go to school for it either, I
suppose.”

“No.” He continued stroking her palm with his fingers,
letting his newfound emotions cycle through him so he could process them. Name
them. And unlike the shit he forced himself to swallow for his country and
cause, he actually began to find comfort in them. Especially the one that
warmed his heart.

Her eyes narrowed, lips pursed together in a thin line he
wanted to nibble. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”

He arched a brow. “Does it really matter?”

“Yes!” Her grip on his hand tightened.

His voice remained neutral. “Why?”

“Because this is my life.” Her voice rose in pitch and magic
began to pour off her in slow, lazy waves. She spread an arm out and waved
around her. “This is what it’ll always be like. We’ve done shows on the road
and the musician life is hard already. Don’t pumas need steady homes? I can’t
provide you with that. I can’t provide you with safety, either, Derrick.”

He shrugged. “I’ve never been an average man or puma. My
home is where I need it to be. California suits me just fine for now, but it’s
just a residence. It’s not truly a home. And on the note of your life, it’s not
like I’m opposed to death metal or even you having groupies.”

She snorted. “Is that jealousy I detected in your voice?”

He smirked. “I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t jealous,
but it’s not like I have anything to base distrust on. We barely know each
other.”

“Which is why having a relationship like this would be
wrong.”

Derrick started to speak, but shut his mouth instead. She
had a point, but he couldn’t find himself caring. She would make any place he
lived a home.

Her voice dropped, full of sadness. “Even you know it’s
wrong.”

“What’s wrong about it? Tell me, Sonja, what are you really
hiding from?”

The expression on her face changed so quickly that only
Derrick’s puma senses could detect the brief second of agitation before her
eyes narrowed and focused on him. “What are
you
hiding from, Derrick?
Why did you quit being a spy?”

Those memories were hard to drudge up, but if she wanted to
play dirty, Derrick had to decide whether he would play ball with her or not.

By now the only way he’d been able to keep her going on this
path was to be honest with her. But his ghosts haunted him. He inhaled, exhaled
slowly. Shoulders relaxed. The emotional trauma poured off him with ease; he
figured it had something to do with her touch. That bothered him slightly, more
like a blow to his male pride.

Derrick led a solitary life and felt fine in the shadows.
That meant darkness and loneliness were his only friends. Except that Max told
him earlier that he was neither a man nor an animal. And life left him with
choices.

So far he’d rolled with the punches, let the choices come
naturally as he made decisions with one goal in mind: peaceful serenity.

But he’d floundered on all of that by surrounding himself
with material comforts and only an occasional fling that did little to warm his
heart, let alone his cock.

All along, he’d chosen to be a spectator in life, reacting
to the events that occurred around him, except when a mission went awry and he
let the others in his camp die without being able to protect them.

Derrick leaned into Sonja, let himself feel the pull of her
magic as it tried to take off the weight he’d carried for so long. He sighed
again, looked into pain-filled yet loving eyes, and realized that he could have
this moment with his mate. He could make this choice. “For the same reason you
chose to confide in me on the first night we met, I will answer you.”

Derrick picked up the torch, relit the end of his cigar, and
took a few puffs on it. The relaxation this cigar provided him added to the
depth of comfort from Sonja’s touch. “My brother and I were working together.
We’d been off radar for some time. There were people starting wars for profit
in parts of the world so ugly, you wouldn’t believe they existed if I told you.
The long story short is that we were ambushed, a mission gone awry. Things got
heavy; the enemy started in on us and our information proved false. We had been
betrayed, and because I didn’t trust my gut, I left things to chance. That
chance landed my brother in the hospital, near death. And there were deaths of
others during the ambush. I got out with a just few scrapes and some bruises.”

“And mental scarring.”

He snorted derisively. “Yeah.” Derrick tried to loosen his
grip on her hand but she wouldn’t let him go.

“Keep talking.”

“That’s it. I can’t.” To do so would put her emotional state
of mind in more jeopardy. She absorbed the burden but he had to be careful
about how much he gave her. He couldn’t tell her about the pillaging soldiers
who had betrayed their organization. Or the fact that many of them had
infiltrated his employers and were members of the Anti-Shifter League. And that
they had done horrible things to captured shifters in retaliation for them
merely surviving.

Her eyes widened, began to glow.

Derrick froze. All the pain inside him swelled around,
causing tension in his neck and shoulders. Even the puma inside him shifted
back and forth, swishing its tail from side to side nervously.

“Close your eyes,” her voice whispered softly across his
ears.

Derrick couldn’t help but comply.

The gentle touch of her fingers against his skin sent a
shiver through him. Warmth chased out the cold memories while replacing them
with nothingness.

He couldn’t bear it.

“There’s…nothing there, Sonja. Nothing.” His voice trembled
with each word he spoke. Stiff training should have provided him the ability to
deal with any sort of torture, but the sound of her voice carried with it
power, pulling his thoughts from the locked gate of his mind to the forefront
where he’d yet again be forced to face them.

He tried to open his eyes but couldn’t, not with her
compulsion flowing into him like a strong river that swept away all the debris
that was blocking his heart.

“You’re addicted to the pain, Derrick. It’s no longer got a
hold on you.” She started to sing lyrics; the words embraced him as though they
were physical, wrapping around his heart. In his mind he saw the puma, felt its
heart beat rapidly. Knew how lonely it was. The burden it carried weighed a
motherfucking ton.

“Talk to me, baby.”

He shook his head and tried to fight the compulsion to keep
talking. It failed. His voice sounded scratchy. “I can’t give this to you. It’s
not…”

“If we’re mated then you must release this. Give it to me,
Derrick.”

Dirty pool again. In his head, the puma continued to pace.
Dark clouds covered the sky, blackening it and preventing an ounce of sunlight
from penetrating them. With the earth shadowed now, the puma grew agitated and
roared angrily.

The jungle beckoned him.

Derrick saw it as plain as day through his puma’s eyes. In
gray scale, Derrick saw the leaves and lush forest, smelled rain on the
forefront. A torrential downpour lay just on the horizon, bringing destruction,
lightning, and loud thunder along with it.

The puma didn’t run from the thunder but didn’t like it
either.

Odd that the human influence in the puma liked death metal.

The puma struggled to move but the unseen weight it carried
bore down on Derrick, making him move slowly. Impossible to shake off, it
seemed to strengthen him.

She’d hit the right sentence. Pain was the whole of his
existence.

Yet the puma moved, took a tentative step forward, and felt
the burden shift. Derrick scrambled to steady the weight but it threatened to
crush him.

“You can’t carry this alone forever.” A soft female voice
cut through the downpour that had started.

“You’re going to have to help me and be by my side if you
want this to work.”

“You aren’t responsible.” Her voice filled with another
heavy emotion.

I think I love you, but you don’t understand.
The
puma communicated the thought on a mental path. Then it ran into the jungle,
only to find that it had no shelter from the rain. Water fell through the
leaves, past the branches, soaking the puma’s fur.

It shook off the water and continued moving forward.

“Talk, baby. Why did you leave the spy game? Who are you
protecting?”

“Max,” he blurted the word out unintentionally. “I was
protecting Max. I let him down during that op, trusted some information rather
than my gut, and managed to kill a lot of people who didn’t deserve to die.”
Something stung his face, warm and wet.

That sweet feminine voice cut through the weather and
wrapped around the heart of the beast. “You’re not to blame. You couldn’t know.
Trust me. I understand.”

“How?” Derrick couldn’t understand, could the puma?

It didn’t act like it. Searching, sniffing through the
jungle, it picked up scents easily identifiable as various flora and fauna of
the land in which it came from.

Then it came upon a pride of pumas in a clearing. They were
talking, murmuring as cats did.

Upon spotting it, they turned and began to pace
protectively. Stalking it with intent to kill, the malice slipped around the
puma but couldn’t quite make it feel the fear it should have.

Something held that fear at bay.

Was it Sonja? Had she accepted the mating?

The puma looked around but saw only glowing yellow eyes that
burned with intense hatred.

“You let us die.” The cry from one puma wailed.

“You killed us.” Another spat words out in a growl.

The voices echoed loudly.

“No.” That female voice growled, this time with energy that
pushed the encroaching attackers back several feet. “You are innocent; they are
the ones that got what they deserved.”

That wasn’t quite right either.