Sliding Into Second (17 page)

“I’m saying that I may have contributed to this fear you have with Nic. We worked because neither of us was looking for anything else. I love you and I always will, but you need to take a leap here. You know that.”

“Don’t blame yourself,” she said. “I needed you. I still do.”

“Not like before though.” He stood and took her hand. “Part of the reason I came here was to make sure you know that I’m removing the safety net. Our deal of always falling back on one another and jumping into bed is off. You need to move ahead. Don’t use me as an excuse, Sage.”

“You’re saying we can’t hit the sheets anymore?” She arched a brow at him.

“Sage?”

“Relax, Jas.” Having sex with him was the last thing on her mind. After being with Nic all these weeks, connecting the way they had, there could be no one else for her. “I don’t want to fall back on you anymore. You’re my best friend, and that’s all we’re ever going to be.”

“Really?”

“I love Nic.”

“Thank God.” He stroked her face. “Have you let him in on the secret?”

She shook her head, feeling like such a fool. Why did she keep running from him?

“I think it’s time you do that.”

“I might be too late,” she admitted. “I’m not sure how much more he can take from me.”

“What did you do?”

“He’s been so good to me, and last night, I acted like a complete idiot. I should have told him how I felt, but instead I used an excuse and ran away.”

Hearing what her father had done didn’t sit well. She was upset with Nic for running when he should have told her what her father said that afternoon in the study, but that wasn’t the reason she left last night. She was too afraid to give in.

She’d spent the last few nights in his arms, thinking about having a life with him. Everything seemed to be falling into place. She had a new house and a new job. A career she had dreamed of. And now, she was back with the only man she’d ever truly loved. She wanted to surrender everything to him, but the last time she did that she had been burned. What if the Crushers traded him next month? Wouldn’t that put them in the same situation they were in seven years before? Could she handle it this time?

“I’m sure you can fix things.” He brought her hand to his lips. “Don’t let this go, Sage. You’ve always loved him. You never stopped. That’s why we couldn’t move forward.”

“I didn’t think you wanted that.” She stared into his eyes, searching for an explanation.

“I didn’t.” He smiled before gently kissing her lips. Not in a sexy, passionate way. More of a loving, caring ‘I’m letting you go’ kind of way. “But if there ever was a woman I could’ve seen a future with, you were her. Our timing has never been right. Don’t let that happen with Nic.”

“You’ve been good for me. You’ve helped me with my career, and you’ve kept me sane and stopped me from self-destructing on more than one occasion. I owe you a lot.”

“Do you want to know how to repay me?” He hugged her. “Go work this out with Nic and be happy. You deserve it. That’s what I want for you.”

“Thank you.” She rested her head on his shoulder. “For everything.”

“I want this for you,” he whispered before releasing her.

“I want you to be—” She stepped back when she caught a glimpse of Nic’s face through the window. “Oh!”

He stood on the porch, holding a bouquet of roses as he glared at her from outside. Pissed off didn’t seem to cut it. She feared for Jason’s life until Nic dropped the flowers and headed down the porch steps and toward his truck.

“Shit!” She ran to the door and pulled it open. “Wait!”

Chapter 16

Sage couldn’t let Nic run off thinking she was sleeping with Jason. Her heart raced as she stepped out onto the snowy porch in her underwear. Why hadn’t she made Jason wait until she had gotten dressed? This whole scenario would have looked so much different had she had her clothes on.

“For what?” Nic turned and yelled at her. “Do you want me to watch while you fuck him? I’m not into that.”

“You know that’s not what’s going on.”
Don’t you?

Jason attempted to come outside, but she held up her hand to stop him. She had enough problems. Adding a testosterone fueled fight to the mix wasn’t what she needed now.

“It isn’t what you think.” How ridiculous. If the situation had been reversed, she’d be freaking out. “I know that sounds crazy, but don’t jump to conclusions.”

“You’re not half naked?” He stared at her with rage in his eyes. “You weren’t in the arms of your ‘go to’ lover? He wasn’t touching you? His hands weren’t all over you?”

Well, yeah, but...
“I realize it doesn’t look good but—”

“But what?” He raised his voice. “Isn’t that your arrangement with him? When things don’t go right in your world you fall back on one another?”

“Not anymore.”

“I would have hoped that you could have waited a whole day before hopping into bed with him.” He clenched his fists at his sides. “Didn’t the past few weeks mean anything to you? How about the other night when we made love in there?” He pointed to the cottage. “How can you be so cold?”

“Stop it. I would never do something like that to you. Last night was crazy and I may have said things that I didn’t mean, and maybe I shouldn’t have left the way I did, but to be fair I was shocked and upset. What you admitted was, well...”

“Save it.”

“What?” He had always let her explain her fears to him. Why wasn’t he listening now when she really needed him to hear her?

“What’s happening between us now has nothing to do with what came out last night. That admission about what your father told me and why I left isn’t the problem. We’ve moved past that. I can’t change what happened back then. I’m tired of trying.”

“If you just would have told me the truth—”

“It would have changed nothing. You would have left me even sooner. For some reason, you don’t want to forgive me, but it has more to do with you than it does with me.” He made his way to his truck. “I’m done.”

He’s done?
Panic set in. She’d been the one calling the shots until now, and he had been doing everything to accommodate her.

“I’ve had enough. I can’t keep going around and around with you. How much more do you think I have left in me?”

“What are you saying?” Her stomach ached and her body felt numb. Her feet burned from the cold and she worried her legs would give out. He couldn’t go. Not until she fixed this.

“I’m saying, until you can figure out what you want, there’s really no reason to keep doing this. I’ve done all I can to prove how much I want us, but you keep throwing up walls. I thought I could wait you out, but it hurts too much. I’m sorry. I can’t do it anymore.”

“Nic. Please, I...”
Say it! Just tell him.

“You know where to find me if you ever get this worked out.” He slid into his truck, started it up, and pulled away without even looking at her. Her gaze followed his tire tracks in the fresh fallen snow as he sped down the street.

Could she blame him? He’d been doing nothing but trying since New York. She thought by pushing him away she was protecting herself, but all she had been doing was hurting them both.

“Sage, come inside.” Jason came out onto the porch and draped the throw around her shoulders. “It’s freezing out here.”

“How long do you think he was standing out here?” She bent down and picked up the roses. “You know what he thought? How bad it must have looked?”

“I could go to him and tell him you would never do that to him.” He led her into the house. “Maybe if he heard it from me...”

“He needs to hear it from me,” she said. “That’s what he’s asking for. He wants me to put it all out there and admit what I’m feeling.”

Nic was right. They couldn’t keep doing this. She already knew how he felt about her. It was time for her to reciprocate. She had to start being true to herself. To him.

“I love him.”

“No kidding.”

“I have to tell him. I should have run after him and made him see how much I love him, but I stood there frozen.” She tossed the blanket on the sofa. “I have to get dressed. I have to go after him.”

“The roads are starting to ice,” Jason said. “Why don’t you call him and have him come back here instead? He’s already on the road. I could just go to a hotel while you two work this out.”

“He probably won’t pick up.” She headed toward the stairs. “I have to go to him. Right now. I’ve waited long enough to tell him. I have to do it before I find a way to screw this up.”

“You’re too stubborn.” He kissed her head. “Call me as soon as you get to his house. You’ve been living in the city for years. You don’t drive in the snow.”

“It’s not that bad out.” The roads were the least of her problems. “I’ll be careful.”

“If for some reason things don’t go according to plan and he’s not ready to talk, I’ll come and get you.”

“You’re sweet, but I’m going to be fine.” She ran up the steps. “Things will go according to plan,” she called down. “Everything will work out.”
I hope!

* * * *

Nic cracked open a beer and sat in his favorite recliner. He clicked on a hockey game, but he wasn’t focused enough to even care who was playing. All he could think about was Sage in her sexy purple underwear. But when he pictured her, she wasn’t with him. She was in Jason’s arms, smiling as he stroked her cheek and kissed her knuckles.
Bastard!

He took a long pull from his beer. He had to leave or he would have beaten the shit out of Sage’s best friend. No matter how jealous he was, deep down, he knew she wouldn’t cheat on him. She may have been mad at him for what happen with her dad the night before, but Nic trusted her heart, even if she didn’t. He left so his rage wouldn’t get the better of him. He was looking to take out his frustration over the way things were going down with Sage, and Jason would have been an easy target.

Nic had been hurt that she hadn’t reciprocated when he told her he loved her. He’d given her time to see what they meant to one another, but even after sharing these past few weeks together, she refused to open up and let him in. Every time he thought he was getting closer, she retreated. He couldn’t take it anymore. She had reduced him to a lovesick puppy, waiting for her to throw him any scrap of emotion. He hated to be harsh with her, but something had to give. He hoped she thought they were worth fighting for.

The look on her face as he drove away told him everything he needed to know. She loved him. She just had to figure out how to say the words. Her actions over the past few days showed him how she felt. She had to get out of her own way, like Rosalie had said, and figure out how to make it work for her. He could only do so much. Now she had to come to him. No more games, and no more denying feelings.

When the doorbell rang, a flutter of hope sparked within him. Had she come after him? Was she finally ready to admit her feelings? Only one way to find out. He placed his beer on the coffee table and headed for the front door. Glancing out the foyer windows, he noted the storm had picked up. He was relieved that Sage had made it to him. Now they could spend the rest of the night cuddled by the fire, making things up to one another.

The smile meant for Sage turned to confusion when he opened the door to find Pax standing there.

“Dude,” Nic said. “What are you doing out here tonight?” He glanced out the door and saw the snow coming down at a heavy clip. It looks nasty out there.”

“Can I come in?”

“Sure.” He stepped out of the way so his friend could enter. “How’s Sophia?”

“She’s great. We had an ultrasound appointment at the hospital this afternoon.”

“That must have been cool.” As happy as he was for his friend, he couldn’t help but feel a bit envious. He wanted with Sage what Pax had with Sophia. His mind was made up. Once Pax left he would go back to Sage’s cottage and make her understand that he wasn’t taking no for an answer.

“It was great.” Pax unbuttoned his jacket. “Look, after our appointment we ran into Sage’s family.”

“At the hospital? That can’t be right. They went to the airport today. Is everything okay?” He reached into his pocket and grabbed his cellphone to check and see if he had missed any messages from Sage or Rosalie. There weren’t any.

“They were on their way when they got a call. Sage was about two miles from here when she lost control of her car and slammed into a guardrail.”

“What?” That couldn’t be. He had just seen her not more than two hours ago. “Two miles from here?”

“You weren’t expecting her?”

“How is she?” He grabbed his keys from the foyer table. “Why didn’t anyone call me?”

“Rosalie was about to when I saw them in the waiting area. I told them I would come and tell you. I didn’t want anyone to do it over the phone.”

“Is she okay?” Fear took over when he realized she could be hurt all because she was coming after him. “I have to go to her.” The things he said before he left her place...he didn’t mean them. He was upset and mentally drained over everything. He had planned to make things right after he cooled down and regrouped.

“She’s banged up good. The airbag did most of the damage. I think they’re going to keep her overnight for observation.”

“Thanks.” Nic pulled a hoodie from the hall closet. “I have to go.”

“I’m going to take you.”

“That’s not necessary.”

“I want to do it. You’re not going to be able to focus on the road if you’re worried about Sage. Let me do this for you.”

He didn’t have time to argue. He wanted to get to Sage and tell her how sorry he was for the past twenty-four hours. “Fine,” he agreed. “I just want to get to her.”

“This is serious between you two, huh?” Pax smiled as he opened the door. “Whatever I have must be contagious.”

“Who would have thought you’d ever settle down?” Nic said. Paxton had been notorious for having a new woman in his bed in every city. No one would have pegged him as the marrying type.

“I could say the same for you.” They headed for Pax’s truck. “And so fast.”

“I couldn’t settle down before.” Nic climbed into the passenger seat. “Not without Sage.”

“Make sure she knows that,” Pax said. “I almost ruined everything with Soph.”