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Turner and I ended our night on a good note. His mom sent me home with a container of food, and she slid a note on top of it with her phone number and a short message to contact her if I ever needed anything. Then in smaller letters she wrote:

PS. What you’re doing for the baby is admirable. If I can help, let me know.

When I climbed into my car and read it, I wanted to crumple it up and throw it on the floor board. Only reason it didn’t was because it tugged at my heart. I ended up putting the note in my purse where I could access it. I know I may have felt guarded while speaking to her, but intuition told me it was okay. I drove home with thoughts that I should let these people in because I knew they had my best interests at heart. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life keeping people on the outside. Turner was changing me, a piece at a time, but I was changing.

EVER SINCE THAT KISS,
I’ve been thinking about more. I wanted Annabelle beneath me, feeling every inch of me as I pushed inside of her. It has been a constant thought since her mouth was on mine. The self-control I had to display that day to not press her against a parked vehicle and do what I’d been dying to do for months now was unreal. I don’t think I’ve ever held back from taking what I wanted from a woman before. Not that any of them really held me back anyway. But my life was a revolving door of women. Never have I had to work for sex. Annabelle, isn’t like that though. It has not been work. It’s been
genuine
. The draw to her, the desire to have more than her physically, was a new emotion. Did this make me an asshole for being that way to the others? Probably. I’ve had feelings for a few of them, but they were never the kind where I wanted to bring someone home to meet my parents. Those women were fun, and kept me occupied when I got bored with my life. Okay, yeah, I was the world’s biggest asshole for that. Nothing I could do about it now. ‘Cause right now, one girl had my attention, and she’s had it since the day she had lunch at my parent’s house.

I was on call earlier this morning and had to come in to surgically correct someone’s knee. I wasn’t particularly busy at the moment, and I considered going up to Annabelle’s floor to surprise her. Admittedly, I had already made a call to see if she was on duty. Sure, I could have asked her, but a surprise visit seemed more fun. Yeah, I wanted to see her. Getting on the elevator, I took it down one floor to Labor and Delivery. The nurse’s station was unoccupied except for a young girl that I’d never seen before. She glanced up at me briefly, then looked back to her work, only to shoot her eyes back up to mine. Her whole demeanor screamed of inexperience. She was new and had no clue who I was. After this, based off her expression, I’d guess she’d learn.

“Can I help you with something, Doctor . . .” She looked at my name tag hanging from the pocket of my scrubs. “Brooks?”

Not that I wanted to butter her up, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to lay on some charm. Giving her a million dollar smile that seemed to work on majority of the ladies, I watched it affect her just as I suspected it would. She fluttered her eye lashes and smoothed her smock down even though there wasn’t a wrinkle in sight.

“Actually, I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of where one of your nurses is right now.”

“Oh, um, sure. Who are you looking for?”

“Annabelle. I was told she was on today.”

Disappointment played over her face. “She is, but I think she’s on her break. I can let her know that you stopped in if you’d like.”

“No, that’s okay. I just had some things to discuss with her, but it can wait.”

If she wasn’t readily available, I had no interest in keeping this conversation going. Again, I never said I wasn’t the world’s biggest asshole. Turning away, I made my way to their break room. She wasn’t there. Huh. Where would she go? I could look in the cafeteria, but I had a feeling I wouldn’t find her there. Then it hit me. I knew where she was. It was instinct. I had gotten better at reading her over the last couple months, and given the time to think about it, it should have been the first place I looked when they said she wasn’t there.

I used my security card to go through the door of the NICU. I wasn’t familiar with this area of the hospital at all, but it wasn’t that hard to see everything. The room was open with babies in incubators spread throughout the space. I scanned the room for her strawberry blonde hair. Sure enough, there she was. In the back corner, Annabelle sat in a rocking chair, holding quite possibly the smallest baby I’d ever seen. I approached her slowly, like you would walking up on a lion, unsure if it will attack or allow you closer. The air around her screamed protective. She cradled the baby to her chest and if anybody would get too close she looked like she would pounce. I was only a few feet away from her and she still hadn’t seen me. I observed her. She rocked back and forth, and soothingly rubbed his naked back. His fragile body swam in the too large diaper on his lower half, and her other hand held him under his bottom. A few wires kept him connected to the machines that monitored his oxygen levels and pulse. Annabelle whispered words to him that I couldn’t hear. This wasn’t what I expected to walk in to when I caught up with her.

When she spoke about the baby she helped deliver and she would check in on, I assumed she would peek in on him, ask the nurses what his progress was, and would leave. This wasn’t what was happening at all. It was clear as day to me. This baby meant something to her. She felt for him. She was caring for him as if he were her own. My presence became known when she heard a nurse coming up beside me. When her aqua colored eyes met mine, I saw several emotions flash across her face—shock, uncertainty, anger, and embarrassment. I did my best to express understanding without words. I wasn’t judging her. No, I didn’t get what was going on here, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t empathetic and wouldn’t try to understand.

“Turner.” She said my name almost like a question.

I walked closer to where she was rocking ‘til I was directly in front of her. “Hi.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I went to your floor to surprise you, but you weren’t there.”

“How did you know I was here?”

“I didn’t.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It was a guess.”

She watched me with a very calculated look upon her face. I could tell Annabelle had no idea what do to or say, but she was in defense mode. Instead of making a big deal out of seeing her like this, I decided it was best that I shift the subject and mood toward what I intended on asking her before I came down here.

“So I was thinking, dinner at my place might be a good idea.”

“Your place?”

“Yes. I’m kind of a good cook. No worries though, nothing cheesy like candles and Marvin Gaye or anything. I’ll still keep it simple, but I thought another easy and relaxing date would be nice while I think of something else to get you questioning why you say yes to me.” I tossed a smile in her direction, hoping she’d enjoy the tease.

Even though she was holding such a small little person in her hands, her attention was on me and that adorable eyebrow went up. “Dinner at your place, because you’re still thinking of other dates to take me on to make me question my life?”

“Well, that’s one way of thinking of it.”

“Doctor Brooks, you’re not funny.”

“Actually, I am.”

“No, not really.”

“I think I’m hysterical. But that doesn’t answer my question.”

“I don’t believe you actually
asked
me a question.”

Touché, sassy girl. I guess I didn’t phrase it like a question. There she goes again, keeping me on my toes. “Would you like to come to my place this evening, so I may cook you dinner, and we could talk and drink wine?”

She cracked a smile at me. “I thought you said there would be no cheesiness?”

I put my hand up to my chest. “There was no cheese in that question.”

She looked at me long and hard, her hand mindlessly patting the infant’s back. “What time do you want me there?”

“Seven. We’ll make it a late dinner.”

“Text me your address and let me know what you need me to bring.”

I winked at her. “Yes, ma’am.” I took a step toward her and bent down. My lips met her forehead and I kissed her. “And we will be talking about this.”

When I pulled away her eyes were huge on her face. I wasn’t trying to scare her, but we’d gone out enough that I should be able to ask some questions and get answers. If she didn’t want to tell me the depths of her feelings that was fine. She would eventually. I was ready for more from Annabelle. I wanted to pick her brain and learn how she ticked. I wanted her physically and in every way possible. I craved her like no other. Tonight, I would get from her what I wanted.

Never had I anticipated Turner coming to the NICU. Him seeing me like that was almost too much. Had I not been holding the baby, I probably would have gotten more upset than I let on. First his mom asking too many questions, now him. And what did he mean we would be talking about this? There was nothing to talk about. It wasn’t any of his business, either. If he thought we were talking about anything relating to this, he was going to be disappointed.

I didn’t have time to think about Turner during the last half of my shift. We had three moms arrive in active labor and all three delivered within an hour of each other. When I finished my portion of the paperwork, I clocked out and headed home. I had thought about when the time would come that I would be stepping foot in Turner’s space, but I figured I would be more nervous than I currently was. I chalked it up to exhaustion. I was dead on my feet and his idea for wine and food sounded amazing to my tired brain and body right now.

When I got home, I changed into comfortable jeans, a loose tank top, and took my hair out of the ponytail it had been in all day. I pulled it half up, and let some pieces on the side fall around my face. There was no need for make-up but I did add a little bit of gloss to my lips before I got back into my car and made the drive to his place. Turns out he lived on the tenth floor of a building not far from the hospital. He had instructed me to pull into the parking garage and what number space to park in. When I got into the elevator the butterflies started their fluttering. I didn’t know what I to expect from Turner tonight, but I was stepping foot into his space. It was his domain and his rules. Was tonight going to turn into something more than just a kiss? Would I allow it? I decided before I raised my hand to knock on the door, that I would just let things flow and see where the night took us. It went against the grain for me, however I couldn’t deny that I wanted Turner Brooks. He intrigued me in every sense of the word. I desired him like no other, and at some point I needed to admit to myself that I honestly had no control with him. He held me captive when I got too close, and if he wanted something from me, I was going to let him take it.