Sleeping With My Boss: A Standalone Novel (An Alpha Billionaire Romance Love Story) (A Dirty Office Romance) (15 page)

CHAPTER 18

Lilah

It felt like all of my nerve-endings were on fire as I
rushed out of the pizzeria. Flushes of heat trickled across my skin, and all I
wanted to do was to sprint away from there was fast as I could.

But I didn't.

I maintained my composure, keeping up my facade of
being cool, calm, and collected. I strode purposefully down the street as if I
was a woman in complete control, instead of the emotional wreck who was only
barely clinging to the thinnest vestiges of sanity.

All right, maybe barely clinging to sanity was pushing
it a bit but, it wasn't
that
far
off the mark. I was feeling
rather emotionally drained after everything that had happened. And, seeing
Asher for the first time since what had happened between us on Friday night,
after he hadn't called the whole weekend, had left me feeling like a bit of a
wreck by the time Monday morning had rolled around.

I'd felt as if he'd achieved his goal—that he'd
conquered his prize and everything that had seemed to have been so real between
us had actually been a lie. It had been bad enough I’d thought it was a
mistake, but to think I was just being played was an entirely different thing.

Needless to say, I'd been in quite the mood on Monday
morning and had almost been ready to hand in my notice and walk out of there…never
see him again. But then, I'd found out about the Costa Rican situation and that
he'd had to rush there on short notice to save the wildlife sanctuary. His
personal assistant had said there'd been no way for him to have gotten hold of
anyone in the States.

Except that he
had
.

He’d called me. Those strange, foreign numbers that
had been calling my phone all weekend had been him and I'd simply thought that
they were scammers or wrong numbers.

That led to all sorts of new, twisted feelings of
confusion. Everything I'd assumed over the weekend about him and his
motivations had been false–and that left me feeling like a fool. He had
actually tried to get hold of me, many times. And
I'd
been the jerk
refusing to pick up the phone.

Still, there was still the whole career aspect to
consider, and my career remained my priority. It wasn't as if anything I'd just
said to him in the pizza parlor wasn’t the truth. I
did
want to get to
the top on my own. I
did
want to forge a successful career entirely on
my own merit.

And, I wasn't sure if I would be able to achieve that
if he and I became romantically involved.

But looking into his eyes–just that brief
connection–had crumbled so much of my resolve and brought all of those intense
feelings I’d experienced on Friday night right back into the forefront. And
that
made this whole situation even more difficult to deal with.

Still, I'd made my choice, as tough as it had been to
make, and I fully intended to stick with it. I would do my best to keep a
respectful distance from him, and I'd decided that there was no way we could
spend any more time together outside of work hours. I wasn't about to put
myself–or him–in the path of temptation ever again. I would keep things cool
and professional at work, as well. It was the only way I would be able to
regain the crystal-clear focus I’d once had on my work. It was the only way to
haul myself out of this emotional entanglement.

My mind was made up…despite the emotions, despite the
connection, despite the doubts—and that was that.

CHAPTER 19

Asher

I sat at the table alone, reeling from the shock of
what Lilah had just said to me. All this time I'd had her on my mind, and after
opening up to her about my family secrets and after Friday night together I'd
been thinking, hoping…

Hoping for what?

Hell, I didn’t even know what I’d been hoping for. A
relationship? Was I even capable of that? I'd never been able to commit before.
The world had always been my oyster, and I'd never had a problem with picking–or
picking
up
–women before. It seemed to come with the territory when
you're a masculine, attractive man who also happens to be a billionaire and a
prodigy in the field of business, well, you can't help attracting women. I
don't state that to boast or anything; I'm merely stating a fact. Even if I
weren’t attractive, the money would be.

But the fact is, when you're spoiled for choice, when
you're an object of fantasy and desire, your perception of things can get
warped and twisted. I'd dated my fair share of physically beautiful women—models,
dancers, pop divas, actresses. And, it hadn't taken much effort on my part
because they'd always
wanted me
. That, in a way, is possibly what bored
of them pretty quickly. I'd never found a woman who challenged me. Who didn't
go after me from the moment she knew I had even the slightest interest in her.
Who treated me like just any other guy, rather than a one-in-a-million
billionaire.

Well…not until now. Not until Lilah.

So what the hell was going on here? Why was one woman
causing me all this confusion and, as much as I hate to say it, heartache? Was
it simply due to the fact that she was making herself out to be unattainable,
and that I simply didn't believe there was anything in this world that I
couldn't have?

Or was there something more? I considered that for the
last four days, I had no idea she was going to tell me it was a mistake and
walk away. And for those four days, she was all I could think about, even in
the midst of saving a wildlife refuge.

So, what did that mean? It meant that my feelings for
Lilah weren’t based solely on her being a challenge. It meant this was
unfamiliar territory for me. It meant more. One word kept sneaking back into my
head. A word I didn’t want to consider.

Love.

That thought scared me because I couldn't say for sure
if I even believed in it. I'd had many things growing up, many things that
other kids only dreamed of, and I'd been a billionaire by the age of twenty,
but I'd never had love. I'd only had flings, affairs, and casual encounters.

Things that money, power, and prestige could buy.

I couldn't buy love, though; that old platitude had
turned out to be true.

So there I was, sitting in a pizza parlor with a slice
of pizza dangling from my hand that I hadn’t even taken a bite of. I could have
been sitting there for ten seconds or maybe ten minutes; time seemed to have
ceased its march leaving me spinning in the strange, surreal moment.

I put the pizza down on my plate and called a waiter
over.

“Hey, buddy,” I said to the teenager, “do you think I
could get this wrapped up, to go? I'm not really in the mood for it right now.”

“Uh, sure,” he said as he took the plate away.

He came back a few minutes later with the pizza slice
packed neatly into a box. I smiled, left him a big tip, and then walked back to
the office, wondering if I was in a dream or if this was reality. I paused as I
got to the Sinclair Building and looked up at it, soaring majestically up into
the sky.

“I own this,” I said to myself. “I own this building
and most everything in it. It's got my name on it. Yet…” I trailed off and
shook my head.

This was a first. I'd had moments where I'd felt like
I was losing my edge, losing my focus, but never like this. In fact, I'd always
prided myself in how utterly focused, and often ruthless and calculating, I
could be. I had always remained razor sharp like the Japanese katana that
Colonel Tanaka had given me.

Yet, at the moment, I felt blunted, dulled.

I couldn’t go on like this; something had to give.

I strode into the building–
my
building–with
purpose. When the elevator reached my floor, I went straight to my office and
told my PA to hold any incoming calls for the afternoon. I had a plan to regain
my edge and that began with shifting into overdrive and powering through
everything I needed to get done. In fact, I was going to stay here late–until
midnight if needed–and then do it again tomorrow. I was going to need to take
Friday and the following Monday off to make it a four-day weekend, so I needed
to get everything done by the end of Thursday. It would be hard, but for a
workaholic like me, it was doable.

But, before I jumped in, I needed to make a call–just
to make sure what I was planning was actually possible.

I took out my phone and dialed a number. It took a
while to connect, but eventually, I heard the sound of the other party's phone
ringing. After a while, a familiar voice answered: an old, hoarse voice. The
voice of a man who was now nearly ninety years old. I spoke in Japanese to
communicate with him.

“Colonel Tanaka, my most revered teacher. It is I,
Asher Sinclair.”

“Sinclair-san! It is wonderful to hear your voice
again.”

“I need your help, Colonel.”

“You are like a son to me, Sinclair-san. I will do
anything in my power to assist you in this matter that is troubling you.”

“May I come to see you and stay at your estate?”

“You are always welcome here, Sinclair-san. When do
you propose to come?”

“Soon. Friday, if that's possible.”

“I will have my servants prepare a room for you.”

“Excellent. I'll drive straight there as soon as my
jet touches down.”

“I look forward to seeing you, Sinclair-san.”

“And I you, Colonel.”

Without further ado I put my phone away and started on
my work. There was a lot to get through by Thursday evening, and I needed my
mind to be clear by the time my plane touched down in Japan on Friday morning.

Crystal-clear.

***

I howled with pain and dropped my practice sword as
the old master cut through my defenses and struck me a savage blow on my
forearm. He was eighty-nine years old, but age hadn't put much of a damper on
his focus as a swordsman. Of course, he tired far quicker than a younger man
did, and wasn't nearly as agile any more, but he still had a few tricks up his
sleeve.

“Pick it up,” he said, pointing at the sword. “We are
not finished yet.”

“Yes, master,” I said, groaning with pain as I picked
up the sword and prepared to fight.

“Something is unbalancing you. This is why an old man
such as myself is able to defeat you, who are but my grandson's age. You must
clear your mind of whatever is plaguing it if you are to defeat me.”

I breathed in deeply and slowly, doing my best to
maintain a sense of clarity and focus.

Still, try as I might, I could not get thoughts of
Lilah out of my head. I hadn't seen her since Wednesday at the pizza parlor;
she'd evidently been going out of her way to avoid me. And perhaps that had
been a good thing. I wasn't sure what I'd say to her, anyway.

I launched into a vicious attack, hoping that my
superior strength and speed would be enough for me to overcome the dated man in
front of me.

I was wrong.

He deflected my powerful, but inaccurate, attack with
ease, flipped the sword out of my hand, and then tripped me up so that I fell
forward onto one knee.

I looked up, embarrassed, as I felt his wooden
practice sword pressing firmly into the back of my neck.

“If this were a real katana, your head would be
rolling at my feet right now, Sinclair-san.”

“If we were using real katanas, master, you would have
beheaded me an hour ago,” I commented glumly. “And from then on, you would have
kept beheading me over and over again.”

The old man raised his sword from my neck, took off
his mask, and smiled sympathetically.

“Stand up, Sinclair-san,” he said. “I can see that
something has caused you to lose your focus. We must speak of this. This is why
you came here, is it not?”

I nodded.

“It is, master.”

“Come, then. We will visit the hot springs, and there
you will tell me of whatever it is that is attacking you from within.”

A while later, we were soaking in the warm waters of
the natural hot spring pools in the forest near Colonel Tanaka's estate and
sipping on sake as we talked beneath the cool, starry sky above.

“It is a matter of the heart that troubles you so, is
it not?” asked the old man.

“It is, Colonel, it is.”

He nodded.

“I gathered as much. Few things can alter one’s focus
like the heart. Such things can weigh heavily on the spirit of the young–and
the old.”

“And, this one has been weighing heavily on my heart
for some time.”

“Tell me, Sinclair-san, in America, you are a powerful
man, a man of prestige and respect and immense wealth and standing, are you
not?”

“I am.”

“And, you carry your grandfather's legacy of honor, do
you not?”

“I do. I whisper a prayer for him every day, as you
taught me to.”

“Good. One must honor one's ancestors. And, one way of
honoring them is by behaving in an honorable manner yourself at all times. Have
you conducted yourself in such a manner?”

“Always, I try to. Although many times, I fail.”

“You are young, and cannot expect to be infallible.
Especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Women. Love.”

“Yes, and in this area, I fear that I have acted
somewhat…dishonorably in the past. I have treated women poorly: used them only
for their bodies and their beauty.”

“Such is the way of powerful men, and it always has
been, Sinclair-san. But therein lies a true test of one's character.”

“I understand that now.”

“So, you have met a woman who is not like these others
you have been with?”

“She is nothing like them at all.”

“And this is what has captivated your attention so
fiercely, has it not?”

“Yes, Colonel.”

He nodded.

“And unlike the women you pursued before, she does not
seem to care about your wealth, power, and prestige. Is this correct?”

“That's right.”

“You are not able to control her. She is like a female
samurai, is she not?”

“There were female samurai?”

“Oh, yes. They were fierce warriors, as skilled and
courageous as any male samurai. They were rare, yes, but they existed. Their
names live on in legend. And this woman who has captivated you, I suspect that
she is like the female samurai of old. Fierce, independent, strong-willed,
intelligent. Yes?”

I nodded. “She is all of those things.”

“And, this is what frustrates you. With every woman
that has come before her, you were able to win her without effort—your money,
your social standing, or your power did that for you. But these things, they
are
not
you
. And, the
female samurai knows this. She has these things herself or, at least, she is
working toward them herself. So, she does not want them from you. She wants to
earn them and take pride in her own achievements. In fact, those very things
that have always worked for you in terms of winning over beautiful women are
now working
against
you.”

“That is almost exactly what she told me. So, what can
I do, Colonel?”

“There is only one thing you can do, and that is what
every man who comes against a female samurai must do, whether he is a beggar or
an emperor.”

“And, what is that?”

“Show her your heart and nothing else. And then, it is
up to her to decide if she wants it or not. You, I'm afraid, have little say in
the matter.”

I slumped my shoulders and sighed. “I'm not used to
this, Colonel. I'm not used to this at all.”

He chuckled and smiled sympathetically at me. “No man,
even the fiercest warrior, is never ready for the attack love wages on the
heart. All you can do is embrace the experience and accept the outcome, whether
it is in your favor or not.

“Life is a strange thing, young Sinclair-san. But you
cannot afford to become too fixated on one thing. Let her choose–and accept her
choice. There is little you can do to influence her in this matter. Show her
who you are and what you have to offer her on her terms. Not the terms you have
grown accustomed to.”

I nodded slowly. “You're right, I suppose. There is
nothing much I can do.”

“Hold on for now. But be prepared to let go if you
must. It is a more beautiful thing to see a wild horse run free and come to you
of its own will than it is to capture it and break its spirit.”