Sleep Soundly Every Night, Feel Fantastic Every Day (8 page)

“Does a power nap really help?”

“Truthfully, no, in regard to sleep, in that I can rest for 10 minutes and stare at the wall, but I am not asleep. Then I don't want to go back to my secretarial chair for five more hours.”

I asked Sandy further questions about her sleep routines and behaviors. In the process, she hinted at the fact that she had shared a bed with her husband all the years of her marriage. She asked if sleeping alone would help her.

“I am not sure, Sandy. We won't know how you might sleep until you give it a try, and I can help you with that. You can create a quiet, dark sleeping space, and that will be a good start. Is that one reason you came to the sleep
clinic?” She nodded, and Sandy and I concluded her sleep history.

After her appointment, Sandy thanked me and said she might try sleeping by herself for a while and see if she felt any better. She made a return appointment for herself and one for her husband also.

Sandy was true to her word and brought her husband to the sleep clinic. Casually, she told me that she had moved to a cooler, downstairs bedroom to sleep. Her fatigued appearance had improved.

I saw most of the symptoms of sleep deprivation in Sandy: sleepiness (nap at noon), fatigue, problems with attention and memory, and cognitive impairment (brain fog) in that she couldn't make a firm decision about changing sleeping arrangements, Months passed before she could decide to get help, and her mind ruminated on such issues in those hours of lost sleep. I also documented that she woke up often during the night to ask her husband to change sleeping positions. I suspect she did not reach the restorative sleep stages.

In summary, Sandy's sleep disturbances and the resulting symptoms fed each other and created a vicious circle:

1.
 
The environment:
Her sleeping in the same bed, and even the same room, with a bed partner whose sleep apnea and weight contributed to her lack of sleep.

2.
 
The lack of deep sleep:
Sandy awakened consistently throughout the night, keeping her from the deeper, restorative stages of sleep.

The results of sleep disturbance? An increase in stress hormones, high blood pressure, and all the signs of emotional agitation, mental fatigue, and daytime sleepiness.

I feel it's important to note that Sandy was only 48 years old. You may have thought she was older based on her
many years of marriage, her husband's sleep apnea and heart disease, her fatigue, and her slowness at work. Many of her symptoms are typically associated with aging. But sleep disorders are happening at younger ages. You could meet a Sandy who is 18 or 28 years old. Sleep rejuvenates, and those who do not create the space and goal of coveting it for themselves will sound just like Sandy.

What can you do to improve your sleep?

First, come to the realization that you need at least seven to nine hours of sleep each night. Not accepting this one fact could have profound costs for you, including your suffering from diabetes, heart disease, stroke, or obesity—all of which link to a lack of sleep.

Second, practice good sleep hygiene as outlined in the next chapter to get those hours. This may involve changing long-held habits and modifying your behavior, but I hope the information in this chapter will motivate you. Good sleep brings clear thinking and vitality. I encourage you to value sleep and allow yourself to embrace a lifestyle change to improve your entire outlook and health. Instead of thinking of sleep as a necessary evil, think of it as a valued commodity you invest in. Instead of thinking of sleep as a recurring event that robs you of valuable time, think of it as a luxurious opportunity to find peace. Sleep is transformative. If you value your life and want to enjoy better health, then deep sleep is your prized ally.

 

 

For you to sleep well at night, the aesthetic, the quality, has to be carried all the way through.

—STEVE JOBS

What motivates you to get up each morning and enjoy your day?

No matter what it is, whatever motivates you to get up each morning will also motivate you to change poor sleep hygiene and adapt to better sleep habits.

Adaptation means to adjust by learning new behaviors that allow you to cope with change. At first, adaptation seems hard, especially if you are like Sandy and too tired to take action, and too mentally fatigued to care or to research your options, all because of disrupted sleep. Sandy also had sleep habits and beliefs that kept her stuck in poor sleep. Sandy could have moved into a separate bedroom long before she
came to see me, but I felt she needed permission to do so. She felt guilty even
wanting
to sleep alone.

Take a few moments now and use these three steps to identify your own motivation and develop better adaptation skills:

1.
 
Make a list of what you know to be happening, not what you
think
is happening. Sandy's list included going to bed at the same time each night, listening to her husband snore, waking him up, feeling unable to get up in the morning, having coffee and going to work, feeling limp by 10:30 a.m.… you get the idea. Sandy thought she was helping her husband, when the reality was she was hurting herself by continuing the same sleep pattern night after night. When she looked hard at her list, the light bulb went on, and she was motivated to change her sleeping habits.

2.
 
Ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen if things don't change. Sandy's worst fear was that if she died, her husband would be alone, with no one to care for him. Facing that fear was more motivation for her to make changes right away.

3.
 
Adopt a purposeful approach to changing poor sleep habits or making new habits a part of your life. Change one habit at a time and then give yourself the time to make it real and good for you. How much time do you think Sandy needed to move to a separate bedroom? After talking with her husband, one evening was all the time it took. However, Sandy then woke up throughout the night listening for him. That habit took about 10 days to pass. Even though Sandy had five habits to change on her list, by acting right away on the first two, the other three disappeared and she threw the list away.

Your bedroom environment plays a critical role in your ability to sleep well. Simple changes can yield quick results. Design and organize your own sleeping space as a sanctuary where you can retreat from the stress of everyday life and sleep well every night.

Lighting
: Cover windows with dark curtains, shutters, or fabric so that no light shines in.

Bright light wakes you up! Exposure to dim light at night affects your moods, possibly pushing you to depression. Exposure to blue lights emitted from electronic devices is beneficial during the day in stimulating your attention, moods, and even your reaction times. Take an electronic device to bed, however, and it keeps you awake. Of all light-wave frequencies, red light is the least disturbing to moods and to sleep. Plug-in nightlights with red bulbs are available.

Room temperature:
The cooler the room, within limits of comfort, the more likely you are to fall asleep. One of the major signals that occur with the onset of sleep is a drop in core body temperature. If your room is too warm, this drop is inhibited, making entering sleep more difficult. I suggest a room temperature of around 68 degrees because this harmonizes with the drop in your body temperature about four to five hours into sleep. The Sleep Foundation discourages temperatures above 75 degrees Fahrenheit and below 54 degrees Fahrenheit, as they will disrupt sleep. If you are having trouble falling asleep, try regulating the room temperature.

Sound
: You need your bedroom to not only be cool and dark, but also quiet. If a dripping faucet or the barking of a neighbor's dog is interfering with your sleep, try earplugs, earphones, or generating white or pink noise to even the
sound field so your ears won't focus on the background contrast of environmental sounds. There are machines available to do so, but for some the sound of a fan will do the trick. If your partner's snoring is keeping you awake, you should encourage him or her to be checked by a doctor for sleep apnea. Treatment can improve your sleep and also might save his or her life.

Alarm clock:
Watching an alarm clock is another problem when you cannot fall or remain asleep. It causes two sleep-opposing reactions. The first reaction is calculating time, which results in speeding up of your brain waves and making a return to sleep very difficult. The second reaction is provoking anxiety due to mental rumination about
how much sleep will I get
or
how will I function tomorrow.
This causes the release of stress hormones such as cortisol, which normally are at their lowest levels during sleep. The rumination then makes it difficult to return to sleep and impossible for the body to reduce the stress hormones and restore some balance. Place your alarm clock somewhere you cannot see it, like across the room with the face to the wall.

Pets
: Do not sleep with pets unless they contribute to your well-being. Do not compromise your health because of what you feel your cat or dog may want, need, or demand. Sleeping without them may be a difficult habit to break for all of you; but remember, you're making the change for them as much as for yourself. You will be a much better caretaker and companion if you're healthy and energized.

Design
: The hotel chain Travelodge conducted a survey of 2,000 guests as to how room color affects sleeping. According to participants, the best color for sleeping was pale blue. Here are more results:

1.
 
Pale blue in the bedroom was associated with calmness. Fifty-eight percent of those surveyed said they regularly
woke up happy. On average, they reported sleeping 7 hours and 52 minutes.

2.
 
Certain shades of pale yellow were the next color identified by the people surveyed, who said they slept for 7 hours and 40 minutes on average per night.

3.
 
Green (which shade is unknown) was chosen as the third best color for sleeping, and those surveyed reported getting an average of 7 hours and 30 minutes of sleep per night, with 22% of those surveyed saying they woke up “feeling upbeat and positive.”

In addition to painting your room in a calm, soothing color, here are more suggestions for making your bedroom a place for renewal and rest:

  
Place the bed in the center of a wall, allowing enough room for a chair or nightstand.

  
Clear clutter. Stuff shoes or slippers slightly under the edge at the end of the bed, place books on a nightstand (not on the floor), and put away all clothing and children's toys so your room is clear of anything you might trip over in the middle of the night.

  
Fill your bedroom walls and ceiling with images, photos, stencils, or painted artwork that help you relax. Here are some ideas of what others have done: