Sleep No More (6 page)

And it hurt, dammit.

Screw maturity and understanding—it hurt.

“Eve.” Sandra was standing in the doorway with a cup in her hands, her gaze fixed apprehensively on Eve. “Don’t be mad at me.” She came toward her. “I brought you a cup of coffee.”

Like a little girl trying to bribe her way into forgiveness for a transgression. Sandra was a little girl in many ways, Eve thought wearily. Mentally and emotionally, she had stayed a child even though she had been allowed to grow up too soon. That dichotomy, Eve found, was one of the toughest things she had to deal with in her mother. Sandra probably didn’t even understand why Eve was upset. She couldn’t see beyond the boundaries of her personal sphere. What the hell. Accept the bribe. She took the cup of coffee. “Thank you.”

Sandra looked relieved. “And I forgive you for stomping out here even though it was rude.”

“Don’t push it, Sandra.”

“After all, this isn’t about you.”

She took a sip of coffee. “Isn’t it? For a minute, it felt like it was. You’ve always discouraged me from asking anything about the time when you had me, and I went along with you.” Her lips twisted. “I didn’t want to be insensitive. But considering what you’ve told me, I’d like to ask you a question or two. We know Beth’s father was Richard Avery. Who is my father, Sandra?”

She was silent.

“You don’t know?”

“I’m not exactly sure. I think he might have been the artist I met at a beach party at Fort Lauderdale.”

“His name.”

“Gary … something.” She trailed off. “I don’t remember. He was an artist and going to Haiti the next day. What did it matter?”

“It matters to me.” But it obviously didn’t matter to Sandra. “So you were left alone with no money and a baby you found you didn’t really want after all. Why didn’t you just put me up for adoption?”

“I thought about it. But like you said, I didn’t have any money, and the people at the hospital said I could apply for more welfare if I had a kid.”

“Oh, yes, by all means, you had to be practical. That was in Miami. How did you end up back here in Atlanta?”

“I thought maybe my mother would come back here. I needed my money. She shouldn’t have taken it. But she wasn’t in Atlanta, and none of the people we knew had seen her. I never saw her or my father again. She meant it when she said that she was through with me. I had to get by on my own. It wasn’t easy.” She added defiantly, “I know I wasn’t what most people would call a good mother, but I did what I could. Don’t you blame me, Eve.”

“I’m not blaming you,” she said wearily. It was too late to condemn Sandra or hold her accountable. Too many years had passed, too much water under the bridge of life. This new knowledge might hurt, but she couldn’t change human nature. Sandra was what she was, and those traits and frailties had been formed by the life she had led. “I’m just trying to understand. You’ve thrown me a curve, Sandra.”

“I don’t know why. This isn’t really about you. It’s about Beth.”

And Sandra couldn’t see the domino effect learning about Beth Avery had caused in Eve’s life. “I guess that for you, that’s all it’s about.” She took a sip of coffee and tried to gather her thoughts. “Okay, let’s talk about Beth. You said she was a mental patient in Santa Barbara. How do you know? You told me that you’d signed papers giving her up, that they had total control of her.”

“And I did the right thing,” she said quickly. “When she had the accident, I would never have been able to give her the kind of care the Averys did.”

“Accident?”

“She had a skiing accident when she was seventeen and had a severe concussion that caused brain damage. That’s why they had to put her in that mental hospital to try to get her better.”

“Seventeen…” Eve was having trouble not only accepting her relationship to Beth Avery, but bringing into focus their separate pasts. “That would have been about the time I gave birth to Bonnie, wouldn’t it?”

Sandra nodded. “But I didn’t know much about her then. It was after Bonnie was killed that I decided I had to find out if my Beth was doing well.” She added in a whisper, “I missed Bonnie so much, Eve. I did love her. After I gave up Beth, I thought I’d never feel like that again, but Bonnie was special.”

“Yes, she was wonderful.” She looked out at the lake, remembering just how special and wonderful her daughter had been. “And when we lost Bonnie, you felt you had to reach out to Beth?”

Sandra nodded. “Not really reach out. It was too late. She was already in that hospital. But it made me feel kind of nice to find out things about her. Like she was really mine. I hired a detective to tell me all he could about her.”

“And what did he find out? I can’t imagine the Avery family accepting her.”

She shook her head. “They placed her with a couple, Laura and Robert Avery, who were distant cousins of Rick’s father and lived in a small town in Virginia. They were the poor relations of the family and were very grateful to be paid so well to take care of Beth. Nelda didn’t want anyone to connect Rick to her, so Laura Avery told everyone that Beth was the daughter of Nelda’s uncle who lived in Switzerland. That way they had an excuse to send her to different schools in Geneva and Rome. They didn’t want her in this country and have to answer questions about her. It was much easier to keep her in Europe as much as possible.”

“Why not all the time? Why that house in Virginia?”

“Well, after she was five, she was always at boarding school. But Rick wanted to go see her sometimes when she was little. He liked her.”

“What?”

“Why are you surprised? I told you he was a good guy. Why wouldn’t he care about my daughter?”

Eve wasn’t going to argue how that “good guy” had carelessly impregnated a girl who was little more than a child. “How do you know that was the reason?”

“He told me so. After I found out about the accident, I went to see him, and he told me all about her. I thought he’d be mad because I wasn’t supposed to get in touch with any of them after I signed those papers.” She smiled. “But he was real nice, just like I remembered him. He told me I was just as young and pretty as the day he met me.”

“And what did he tell you about Beth?”

“What I told you. He said that his mother wanted to keep her totally out of sight, but he’d fought her. She would have preferred to have Beth put out for adoption to a family halfway across the world, but Rick wouldn’t have it.” She shrugged. “So the relatives in Virginia were a compromise. He visited her whenever he could until they sent her to Switzerland, then he’d drop in at least a couple times a year wherever she was at school. Naturally, since he was in politics, he had to keep the visits low-profile, but he’d bring her presents, and he got to know her real well.” She added, “He said she was so smart. Good grades all the time. And she won trophies for skiing and swimming. She loved to ski.”

Her smile faded. “But she had that accident when she was skiing. Rick said she’d never be the same. The family sent her to that hospital in California, to some fancy psychiatrist, but she’s never gotten any better. He said that if she ever did recover, he’d let me know and take me to see her. That was years and years ago…”

And the seventeen-year-old girl who had entered that California hospital was now a little older than Eve. All the laughter and tears and experiences of those years had been smothered within the walls of an institution. She shuddered at the hideous picture that thought brought to mind.

“How did you find out that Beth had wandered away from the hospital?”

“The detective I hired told me.”

“The detective who gave you the initial report on Beth? He’s been working for you all these years?”

“Of course not. Don’t be silly. I couldn’t afford to do that. But Hermie said he’d make a couple contacts at the hospital and occasionally let me know how she was doing.” She moistened her lips. “There wasn’t much to tell me. She must be real bad. Hermie said they kept her on pretty heavy drugs. But a few days ago, he called me and told me that she might be in trouble. She’d left the hospital, and no one could find her. I gave it another twenty-four hours, but they still haven’t found her. So I came to tell Joe he had to help. He’s smart, and he’ll be able to locate her.” She let out a relieved breath. “There. I’ve told you everything. I hope you’re satisfied. Now call Joe and tell him that he has to help me.”

“I don’t have to call him. We’ll talk when he gets home. Who is this Hermie? The detective?”

She nodded. “Herman Dalker. He likes me. He said he understood how I had to give up Beth and that I was a wonderful woman to be so concerned about her even though she’s sick in the head.”

Eve flinched. “Give me his telephone number. And the name of Beth Avery’s school and anything else you can remember. Joe will need it.”

“Hermie’s number is in my purse. The school is some Catholic academy. St. Cecilia or something like that. Yes, that was it. St. Cecilia. I’ll scrawl it down when we go back inside,” Sandra added eagerly. “You’ll tell Joe to help her?”

“I don’t tell Joe anything. I ask him. You should know that by now, Sandra. Is there anything else I should know about this?”

“That’s all.” She hesitated. “I don’t really know much at all about Beth, do I? Just what Rick told me and the detective … I should probably not worry about her. The Averys have taken such good care of her. They’ve sent her to all those neat foreign places and schools. And after that accident, they spent all that money trying to get her well. I’m sure that they’ll find her and take her safely back to the hospital.”

“But you’re not sure, or you wouldn’t have come to me and Joe.”

“As sure as I can be.” She shrugged. “Maybe it’s just that I’ve never been able to give Beth anything, and this is a way that I can do that.”

Eve shook her head in disbelief. “So you’re going to make a gift of Joe and me,” she said dryly. “That’s my choice, Sandra.”

“But you’ll do it. You have to do it. She’s your sister, Eve.”

“Blood may be thicker than water, but it’s difficult to embrace that concept when I’ve just discovered that she exists.” She waved a hand as Sandra opened her lips to speak. “Don’t talk to me any longer. Not right now. Just get in your car and go home. I promise I’ll discuss this with Joe.”

“Discuss? No, I want your promise to do it.”

“Go home, Sandra.”

Sandra stood there, gazing at her for a long moment. Then she smiled confidently. “You’ll do it. I know you, Eve. You won’t be able to help yourself. You can’t even keep yourself from working on those ugly skulls because you think it’s your duty. How could you refuse to help your sister?” She turned and headed for the door. “I’ll go in and get my purse and that telephone number and the name of Beth’s school. I feel much better about her now.” She suddenly glanced over her shoulder and the smile had disappeared. “I should have loved you more, shouldn’t I? You’ve done everything for me, and Beth is almost a stranger. I
do
care about you, Eve.”

“I know you care as deeply as you’re capable.”

“It’s just … she was first, Eve. I guess some people only have so much to give. Maybe I’m one of them.”

“Maybe you are.” She turned away and looked back at the lake. “I’ll take care of your Beth, Sandra. I can’t speak for Joe, but I’ll do everything I can.”

“Then it will all work out. I knew it would. Because she’s your Beth, too, Eve.” She disappeared into the house.

Her Beth? It was going to be strange thinking of Beth Avery as belonging to her. A sister? She had always been on her own as far as family was concerned. As a child, she’d had to fend for herself because of Sandra’s drug habit and general lack of responsibility. Then when she’d given birth to Bonnie, her daughter was her family. Jane MacGuire, her adopted daughter, had come into her life when the girl was only ten years old, but she was mature far beyond her years. They had been friends, not mother and daughter.

She sat down on the porch swing to wait for Joe. She’d have to try to absorb both Sandra’s story and the surprise and emotional upheaval that it had brought before she would be able to share it with Joe. Because she did not wish to share the pain, he had gone through too much already during the years of searching for her Bonnie’s killer.

A sister …

*   *   *

“SO WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?”
Joe asked quietly, when Eve had fallen silent after telling him Sandra’s story. “If it were anyone but Sandra, I’d be a lot more shocked. But I can actually connect the dots.”

“So can I. Particularly if I think of Sandra as more of a child than an adult. She was wild and self-indulgent, but she was also a victim.” She grimaced. “Not that she’s not still a child in many ways, but I have to remember that she probably likes it better than being an adult.”

“And how do you feel about Beth Avery?”

“I’ve been trying to figure that out. Curious, surprised, sad for her condition … maybe a little cheated.”

“Cheated?”

“That I didn’t know her when I was growing up. Sisters are supposed to be … close.” She shook her head in bewilderment. “But I’ve never experienced that, so it might be a bunch of bull. How do I know?”

“You can’t.” His arm tightened around her shoulders. “You have to accept the relationship as it is now.”

“There is no relationship. And if there was any hope of one, it probably was destroyed when she had that accident.” She nibbled at her lower lip. “I don’t know anyone with mental trouble, and I don’t have a clue what kind of problems she has to deal with. Was it a physical brain injury? Or was it a mental illness caused by an injury? Or did she have the mental illness before, and it caused an accident? Does she have a chance of being cured? I can’t turn my back and walk away. I have to find out, Joe. I have to find her.”

“Then I have my answer, don’t I?”

“I said I have to find her. I won’t ask you to go along with me.”

“But you know that I can’t do anything else. We’re in this together for the long haul.” He gave her a quick, hard kiss. “So shut up. I’ll catch the next flight I can get out to Santa Barbara. I was thinking that I might have to do it anyway, after I finished those phone calls to the police department and the hospital.”