Slay (Storm MC #4) (20 page)

“Do you want more?” she asked, jerking her chin at the scotch.

I shook my head.  “No.”

“Okay, baby.”  She kept massaging my back, her touch reaching my soul. 

“Thank you,” I whispered.

She nodded and waited for me to continue, her hand never leaving me.

“Merrick and I came up with a plan to deal with Leroy.  I’d known Merrick since I was about fourteen.  He’d been recruited by Leroy to sell drugs as well, and he’d had enough of all the shit we were involved in.  I killed Leroy, and we split his organisation in half.  One of the other gang members took the drugs, and we took the women.  We shut the brothels down, but then we had the problem that they needed to earn money, and most of them were junkies by that point and all they knew was prostitution.  Merrick found a clothing manufacturing business for sale so we bought that with the profit Leroy had made, and the women worked there instead.”

I paused and she asked, “So that’s what you do?”

I realised I’d never spoken about my work with her.  “It’s not my main business.  We don’t make any profit on that side of our organisation.  In fact, that business runs at a loss because we employ more women in it than we actually need. Some of the women who’ve been with us since we split from Leroy now spend their time helping prostitutes, and if any of them want out of the game, we take them on and help them change their lives.  We put a lot of money into rehab because most of them are addicted to drugs when they come to us.”

“How do you make money, then?” she asked, looking puzzled.

“Construction.  When we pulled the girls from the brothels, I discovered they were living in shit conditions, so we bought a rundown building and renovated it for them to live in.  After we took care of Leroy, some of the gang members came with us, and I put all of us to work on the renovation because we couldn’t afford to hire someone to do it.  Merrick and I saw an opportunity there; we had the manpower to do that kind of work so we started off small and we’ve worked our way up in the construction industry.  We now employ hundreds of guys and have multiple jobs going at once.  It’s a dirty industry, though, and we deal with a lot of shit.”

I poured us both a drink.  I’d need it for the next part of the story.

Layla drank it silently and waited for me to continue. 

After I drank mine, I said, “Ashley helped me become a better man.  She helped us push all those changes through and she helped the women change their lives.  We moved in together and were planning our wedding when she was murdered.”  The pain sliced through my heart, but I pushed on.  “She was out with friends one night and her drink was spiked, and . . . they took her.  Fucking gang raped her and slit her throat.”

I fought to catch my breath again and forced the rising bile back down. Layla kept massaging my back, soothing me with her touch, but this pain couldn’t be soothed away completely.  Not when it was my fault.

I stared at her, preparing to tell her the worst part. 

“What else?” she whispered, knowing there was more.

“She tried to call me that night.  Her message said she needed a lift home. I didn’t take her call, though, because I was angry at her.  We’d been fighting on and off all week and had a huge argument before she went out.  It was over fucking trivial shit, but I was a stubborn bastard and didn’t want to talk to her when she rang.  She was supposed to be staying at a friend’s house after they finished at the club.  I didn’t know she wanted me to come and get her . . . didn’t know she’d walk the streets trying to find a fucking taxi . . . ”

“Oh god,” she said, her eyes wide.  “I’m so sorry, baby, no wonder you were upset last night.”

I rested my hands on the edge of the kitchen counter, curled my fingers under the edge of it and squeezed hard.  I tried to squeeze the agony out of me.  It was fucking torture, and after living with it for years, I just wanted it gone.  I craved silence in my mind. 

I pushed off from the counter.  “Fuck!” I yelled into the silence of the night.  My body screamed at me, and the anger coursing through me took over.  I turned and punched the wall behind me.  And then I doubled over, my arms going around my body.  I clawed at myself as the emotions tangled together in one big mess. 

I can’t do this any longer.

I’m going insane.

And then Layla turned me back around to face her, and wrapped me in her arms.  She held tight and didn’t let me go.  My arms went around her, and I clung to her.

“Shhh, it’s okay to let it out.  Don’t fight it anymore.  Holding onto it is hurting you more.”

I took her words in and tried to process them, but after years of fighting this, I knew no other way.

“It’s not your fault, Donovan,” she whispered in my ear.

I stilled and tightened my hold on her, but remained silent.

“We all say and do shit in life we wish we could take back.  But what people choose to do with that stuff is up to them.  We can’t control their actions, and we sure as shit can’t foresee the future.  We also can’t control what other people are going to do to the people we love. 
You
didn’t cause those men to do what they did to Ashley.  That’s on them, not you.  Baby, you’ve spent long enough beating yourself up for this.  It’s time to forgive yourself for whatever you think you’ve done wrong.  It’s time to move out of the shadows of the past and start living your life again.”

I buried my head in her neck and let her words wash over me.  She held me close and ran her fingers through my hair.  Her touch felt so good.  After years of denying myself the chance to find love again, Layla’s caresses moved through me, reaching deep into my soul.  I had no idea how to even begin to forgive myself, but I figured letting her in was a good place to start.

Lifting my head, I looked into her eyes and said, “Thank you.”

Her smile shone light over me.  “Always,” she whispered.

Always.

I needed her skin. 

Needed to hold her.

I grabbed her hand and led her to my bedroom. 

She let me strip her, and once we were both naked, I took her face in my hands and slowly kissed her.  When I ended the kiss, I murmured, “I need you in my arms, baby.”

“I know,” she said, and crawled onto the bed.

I followed her and settled her in my arms.  She placed her hand on my chest and traced the skin there.  Her body was pressed against mine, our arms and legs entwined, and I wanted nothing more than what she’d already given me.

Tonight, I just needed to hold her.

Chapter Nineteen

Layla

“Annie!” I called up the stairs.

No reply.

“Shit,” I muttered under my breath.  We were going to be late if she didn’t hurry up.

“I’m coming,” she yelled out, and I blew out a breath.

Thank fuck.

A couple of minutes later, she joined me downstairs and I smiled at her choice of outfit.  “You look beautiful,” I said, meaning every word I’d said.  Annie was a stunning woman, but with the confidence of a child, she didn’t see it. 

A blush spread across her cheeks.  “Thank you.”

I smiled and reached for her hand so I could join our arms together to walk out to the car.  “Okay, chick, let’s get you to your new job.”

She walked with me, and I felt her body tense.  “I’m so nervous,” she admitted.

“I know you are, but Donovan will be there the whole time, and he’ll make sure you’re okay.”

Just thinking about him caused my heart to dance.  It’d been three days since he’d cracked and opened up to me.  Three days since he’d finally let me all the way in. 

“I can’t believe he offered me this job,” Annie cut into my thoughts.

I stopped her and turned so we were facing each other.  “He offered you this job because he knows you’re capable of it, Annie. You have so much to offer the world and yet you hide yourself away.  I really wish you could see you the way I see you.”

Donovan had asked me about Annie and when he’d suggested she go to work for him in administration, I’d been stunned.  I wanted to keep her close to me, so I could keep an eye on her and make sure she was okay, but he suggested she needed to spread her wings a little more and learn to be more independent rather than relying on me so much.

“I love you, Layla.  I know I don’t tell you that very much, but you’ve done so much for me.  And I know, I annoy you with my lack of confidence, but I’m trying to change.”

Her words almost broke my heart.  “That means the world to me, but do it for
you
, not for me.  It’s time for you to make yourself happy, Annie, rather than always trying to make everyone else happy.”

Her psychologist had spoken to her about her need to please everyone at our last session.  Annie always insisted on me attending the appointments with her, and I’d actually gotten a lot out of them.  I’d gained a better understanding of where her behaviour stemmed from. 

“I know,” she whispered.  “And I am working on it, I promise.”

I squeezed her hand.  “Good.”

We drove to Donovan’s warehouse in silence.  I sensed Annie’s nervousness and fought my instinct to try to take it away for her.  She had to learn to cope with it herself. 
God, being a real mother must be so damn hard; fighting that need to make it all better for your child would do my head in.

One of Donovan’s men met us at the door and took us up to him.  When we arrived at his office, he was on the phone and had his back to us as he stared out the window.  I let my gaze roam over his body.  He wore his signature jeans, black t-shirt and heavy boots.  As he spoke, he waved his hand in the air and I watched his arm and back muscles flex while he did that. 

Oh god
.

He’d left my bed at seven this morning after fucking me for an hour, and I needed him again.

He turned and caught me checking him out.  Grinning at me, he ended his call and walked to where I was.  He reached for me and pulled me close so he could press a kiss to my lips.  “Fuck, I need you again,” he growled in my ear.

“God, baby, don’t say that to me when you can’t do anything about it,” I complained, pulling away from him.

He let me go, but I suspected it would have been a different story if Annie hadn’t been in the room.  Turning, he gave her a smile.  “You all ready?” he asked.  I loved the way he was with her; soft and caring.  It was like he knew she needed that rather than the harshness the rest of the world showed her.

Nodding, she said softly, “Yes.”

He turned his attention back to me for a moment.  “Stay here, okay?  I’ve got something to tell you when I come back.”  His voice was gravelly, and I figured he didn’t have something to tell me as much as he had something to give me.

I raised my brows at him.  “Where else would I go, baby?” I asked, sweetly, in the way I knew drove him wild.

Desire flashed in his eyes, and he gave me a quick shake of his head before leading Annie out of the office.

I waited for him on the couch in his office.  He’d worn me out the last few nights with his marathon sex sessions, and my body craved sleep.  I curled up on the couch and rested my head on the arm.  Donovan woke me with a gentle kiss.  My eyes flew open to find him crouched down in front of me, a smile on his face. 

“Tired?” he asked, as he ran his hand over my waist.

“Yeah, someone keeps me up all hours.”

He lifted his brows in that sexy way of his.  “I bet he’s worth it, though.  Bet he knows what he’s doing.”

“I’m still not sure.  I think he needs some more time to prove himself.”

His hand gripped me hard around the waist, and he stole a rough kiss.  “He’d be happy to work on that now.”

Yes.

I pulled his face back to mine and kissed him again.  When I ended it, I asked, “Did you really have something to tell me?”

“Yeah.  I’ve found someone to replace Damian if you’re still looking.”

“Absolutely.  Who is it?”

“My father’s wife.”

Confused, I asked, “What?”  Surely, I couldn’t have heard that right.

“Marcus’s wife, Sharon, is looking for a job, and I think she’d fit right in at your place; besides, she’s had plenty of experience working a bar and dealing with assholes.  She came to see me a little while ago, and we’ve been in touch since.  I think she’s finally thinking about leaving him, and I’m encouraging her in that.”

My man amazed me.  “Do you have any idea how fucking wonderful you are, Donovan?”

He scowled.  “No, I’m not.  I’m just trying to help a woman who has no fucking idea how to help herself.”

I smiled and kissed him.  “And that’s what makes you wonderful.  Now, shut up and fuck me.”

He didn’t have to be told twice.

***

The next day, Sharon Cole walked into my bar, and I knew Donovan had been right.  She was going to be a valuable addition to my team.  I spent a couple of hours talking her through how we ran the place, and when I had to step out the back to take a call, I wasn’t the slightest bit concerned she could handle the bar by herself.

Jess arrived at work later that afternoon, and we headed outside so I could catch her up on things while she had a smoke.  “How’s Sharon doing?” she asked.

“I think she’s going to work out.”

“Thank fuck, I was worried when Damian said he was leaving.  Just when we had a good thing going with the three of us.”

“I hear ya, babe.”

“And how did Annie do on her first day yesterday?”

“She didn’t say a lot, but she went back today without any complaints so I’m hoping that’s a good sign.  Donovan said she didn’t have any problems that he knows of.”

Her eyes lit up at the sound of his name.  Jess had a tiny crush on my man.  “Bitch, how the hell did you get so lucky finding a guy like him?”

“I’ve been through my share of shit, don’t you worry.”

She narrowed her eyes on me.  “Mmm, one day you’ll have to tell me about that.”  She stubbed out her cigarette and we headed back inside.

Sharon was deep in conversation with a woman at the bar while another woman stood listening.  They all appeared to know each other, and when I took a closer look, I wondered if she was Sharon’s daughter because I could see the similarities in them.  Which meant she was possibly Donovan’s half sister.