Slave (21 page)

Taking a seat behind my desk, I looked directly at him, my gaze hard and unwavering. When his eyes met mine, they didn’t hold the hostility I’d expected. “After last Sunday, your aunt is convinced that I’m the reason you don’t come over anymore.”

I snorted. “You’ve made your feelings regarding my choices quite clear.”

He sighed and shifted nervously in his seat. “Just tell me you’re not having sex with her.”

“Brianna? You think I’m having sex with her?”

“Aren’t you?” he asked, but I heard the uncertainty in his voice this time. When I didn’t say anything more, he added, “I mean she’s living with you and, well . . . with your . . . I mean . . .”

“You can say it, Richard. With my being a Dominant.”

“I didn’t mean . . .”

“Yes, you did.” I pressed my thumb and forefinger to my temple in frustration. This was getting us nowhere fast.

I took a deep breath and cleared my head of everything other than the task at hand. “First, she may be living in my house, but she is staying in the guest room. Second, I have not had sex with her. Of any kind,” I clarified. “She is in no mental condition to be making such decisions.”

“But at the house you kissed her,” he stated as if trying to give evidence to his case, but there was no venom behind it.

I sighed. “Yes, we’ve kissed. Kissing is all we’ve done,” I said pointedly. “No matter what you think of me, I wouldn’t take advantage of her like that.”

Silence floated heavy in the air for several minutes before he said, “I’m sorry. I’ve not been fair to you.”

“No, you haven’t,” I answered calmly and without the sting I still felt at his lack of faith.

“Will you come to dinner Sunday? You and Brianna?” he asked. The look on my face must not have been promising when he added, “Diane misses you. Please don’t let me be the reason you are staying away.”

I sighed and nodded.

He smiled at me and then got up to leave. “I’ll tell Diane to expect you around one, then.” When he reached the door he paused, looked back at me, and said, “Take care of her, Stephan.” Then he was gone.

My plan had been to leave work at three so that I could go shopping with Brianna. Originally I’d hoped she would be able to attempt it on her own, however after what happened yesterday I didn’t want to chance it just yet.

But at three, I was only halfway through a report that needed to be finished today, so I picked up the phone and dialed Brianna. She picked up on the second ring. “Hello?”

“Hello, Brianna.”

“Hello, Master.”

The smile in her voice came through the phone. I remembered the first few times I’d called her from work. Her voice had been full of fear. It was nice to know things were getting better for her.

“I’m going to be later getting home than I planned. Don’t worry about dinner tonight. We’ll get something out and then go to the store.”

“Okay,” she said, still sounding relaxed and happy.

“I’ll call you when I leave so you can be ready.”

“Yes, Master.”

Our called disconnected a few seconds later, and I pushed my way through the rest of my work. It was after four by the time I was finished, and as promised I called her when I reached my car to let her know I was on my way.

When I arrived home, she was waiting for me as always just inside the door. Reaching out to her, I did what I’d been longing to do all day and ran my fingers through her hair. A breathy sigh escaped her lips as she leaned into my hand.

“Good evening, Brianna.”

“Good evening, Master.”

I took a step back and reached out a hand to help her stand. She took it and stood before me with her eyes cast down. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yes,” she answered. Taking her by the hand, we got back into the elevator and headed to my car.

I took her to one of my favorite restaurants and asked for a booth in the back. This was going to be another first for her, and I didn’t want an audience should something go wrong.

We got a few curious looks from the hostess as she waited for us to take our seats. Brianna was doing well so far. While she had stuck close to me ever since we exited my car, I had not felt her stiffen as she had this weekend. I did have to acknowledge, however, that neither the sidewalk nor the restaurant were as filled with people as the mall had been.

The hostess handed us our menus and left us, saying our waiter would be with us shortly. It didn’t take me long to decide on what I wanted as I’d been here many times before. When I set my menu down I noticed that Brianna had not even looked at hers. “Do you know what you want?” I asked her.

Brianna’s eyes widened slightly at my question, but I just continued to wait. She knew I expected an answer.

First she looked down at her menu and then back up at me. “Am I allowed to choose?” she asked quietly.

“Of course,” I said trying to keep the surprise out of my voice.

A small smile tugged at her lips before she picked up her menu and began reading in earnest. I watched every movement she made. The smallest things gave her joy, and I was pleased to be part of giving her that.

I was still watching her when our waiter approached. There was no doubt as to when Brianna noticed him because every muscle in her body went rigid. Reaching for her hand, I linked our fingers and turned my attention to our server.

Roger, our waiter for the evening, set two glasses of water in front of us while introducing himself. After a few pleasantries, I ordered an appetizer and asked for a few more minutes. With a small bow he left us alone once again.

As soon as he was out of sight, I turned to Brianna, moved our linked hands down under the table, and brought my other hand up to turn her face toward me. “Number, Brianna.”

“Four,” she whispered.

I nodded. Truthfully I had been expecting her to say something higher. However, looking at her closely I could see that her breathing was still fairly steady and her color was good.

I rubbed her cheek gently with my thumb. “He won’t hurt you,” I said with conviction.

It took her a moment to respond, but when she did I saw her square her shoulders and nod. Her strength constantly amazed me.

I kept my hand in hers as I asked her if she’d made a selection. “The chicken parmesan,” she said, but it came out as more of a question.

I gave her a reassuring smile as I squeezed her hand. “That is an excellent choice.”

I noticed our waiter across the room at another table and got a sudden burst of inspiration. Angling my face so that I was not looking directly at her but could still see her reaction, I said, “When the waiter comes back to the table you will tell him what you want for dinner.”

There was nothing for a long second before I both felt and heard her reaction. Last week I would have jumped in and tried to comfort her right away, but tonight I wanted to see if she could get a hold of herself. She had the number system I’d given her and the safe words. Now I needed to see what, if anything, she would do with them.

I watched her panic continue to rise as our waiter walked to our table. He stood before us and smiled. “Are you ready to order?”

Neither of us responded for a long moment. I was almost ready to speak up since Roger was already eyeing Brianna with slight concern when I suddenly felt her grip on my hand tighten almost painfully and a small voice beside me say, “Chicken parmesan. Please.”

“Excellent choice, ma’am. And for you sir?” he asked.

“I’ll have the special this evening.”

“Very well, sir,” he replied, picking up our menus. “Your appetizer will be out shortly.”

I barely waited for his back to turn before pulling Brianna into my arms, kissing her solidly, and burying my nose in her hair. It took her a moment to respond to my sudden action, but when she did it was like something deflated inside her. All at once all the tension she’d been holding left her, and I heard her sob.

Placing a kiss on her temple, I pulled back to look into her glistening eyes. I knew right then that without a doubt, Lily had been right. I loved Brianna Reeves.

Brianna

I did it. I really did it.

Master was staring at me with a huge smile on his face, but I could barely see him through the tears pooling in my eyes. His right hand came up and brushed lightly across my cheek. I hadn’t realized the tears had started falling until that moment.

His touch was so gentle, and I knew without him saying it that he was proud of me. For some reason he wanted me not to be afraid. And I wanted that, too. For him. Master was so wonderful to me that I wanted to give him something back, and it was the only thing I had to give.

The waiter came to our table and lay down a plate. I knew he was there, and my body stiffened slightly even though I tried to will it not to. It helped that Master didn’t release me or move at all. He acted like nothing existed outside of us.

Slowly Master removed his hand from my face. It was almost like he didn’t want to but was forcing himself. He turned back to the table, releasing his hold on me altogether, and I immediately wanted it back.

No. I was never his slave. And neither are you.

I watched as Master moved the small pieces of bread, cheese, and basil from the large plate the waiter brought onto the small ones in front of us. His movements were so fluid, so graceful.

What had Lily meant?

He took a small bite of his food and chewed. When he realized I wasn’t following his example he glanced over at me and ordered, “Eat.”

With a deep breath to steady myself, I reached for the bread and took a bite. It was delicious. The bread must have been made fresh today, and the mozzarella was fresh, too. A leaf of basil created a nice contrast to the other two flavors. It was perfect.

I was so lost in my food and also keeping a covert watch on Master’s movements that I didn’t see our waiter approaching with our dinners. His voice caused me to jump, and Master’s hand fell onto my arm. Nothing could calm me like Master touch, but my heart was still pounding in my chest until the waiter went away.

We ate our meal in silence. It was just as good as the appetizer had been. Master let me taste a piece of his. I’d never had duck before.

After dinner we went to the grocery store just as he’d said. There were more people here tonight than when I’d come with Lily, and I moved closer to Master. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer. I felt his breath against my hair.

“You’re doing fine, Brianna. Just remember your numbers.”

Numbers. Yes. Remember the numbers.

He took a small step away from me and placed his hand in mine. Master didn’t move; he just stood there waiting. I realized he was waiting for me. With a deep breath, I took a step forward.

Master walked beside me as I pushed the cart through the store. Occasionally he’d pick up something and put it inside but mostly he just watched me.

At one point, Master walked several feet away to select something he wanted from the shelf. He’d done the same thing a couple of times before, but in that same moment a man holding a basket walked into the aisle about ten feet ahead of us. I felt my body tense and my breathing pick up. He looked directly at me.

I’d never seen this man before, but for some reason the way he was staring at me sent chills up my spine.

Remember your numbers.

Numbers, numbers.

The man walked toward me at a steady pace, and my eyes flashed to Master. His back was to me. I don’t think he’d seen the man. What did I do?

Numbers.

Five.

He came closer.

Six.

The man was only a few feet away. His eyes were now filled with an expression I didn’t understand.

Seven.

I felt pain in my chest as the man slid between Master and me. His chest brushed against me as he turned to the side to get through the narrowed space. I could feel his breath against my neck he was so close!

Eight. Eight!

“Yellow,” I choked. Oh please, please.

I felt someone pulling at my fingers that were now holding onto the cart in a death grip. No. Please no. No.

“Brianna.”

The fingers that had been pulling at my hands were gone now.

Soft hands touched my face. “Brianna, open your eyes,” said a firm voice.

When I forced my eyes open, it was Master’s face that I found. I knew I shouldn’t have, but I needed to be close to him. I released the cart and fell against him. The worst he could do was push me away here in the store. I didn’t care what he did to me later.

But he didn’t push me away. Instead he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and held me tighter. All the panic I’d felt faded away. I was safe. Master would protect me.

I had no idea how long we stayed like that. Someone asked Master if I was okay, and he answered that I was fine. We were causing a scene. I was causing a scene. But he didn’t seem to care.

Tilting my head up just a little so that he and he alone could hear me, I whispered, “Thank-you, Master.”

He kissed my hair and squeezed me tighter. “Are you all right?” I nodded.

Now that I’d calmed down I realized how silly my reaction had been. Master was right there only a few feet away. I was his. He wouldn’t have let anything happen to me.

Then he surprised me by asking, “Do you wish to go home or do you want to continue?”

I glanced over at our groceries, but his hand pulled my chin back so that I was looking at him. “Brianna, I don’t care about the food. It can rot here in the middle of the store for all I care. Do
you
want to finish shopping or do
you
wish to go home?”

The thought of leaving all this food to
rot
, as he’d said, didn’t feel right, but I knew he meant every word. Master would leave, just as he said he would, if that was what I wanted. He was leaving the option up to me.

“I’d like to finish, please.” He nodded and released me.

We finished our shopping, but he never left my side again. His hand touched some part of me at all times.

Stephan

I continued to think about what happened at the store the entire way home. In a way I was glad. At least I’d been there, and she had used her safe word. The downside was that she had panicked and had to use that safe word.

She walked behind me as we entered my condo, both of our arms full of groceries. Taking them to the kitchen, I set the bags down and left her to put them away.

In my room, I removed the jacket and tie from work I was still wearing since I’d not taken the time to change before we left. Unbuttoning the top two buttons of my shirt, I looked at myself in the mirror.

I could hear her moving around in the other room. The pull I felt toward her continued to get stronger as did the conviction I’d felt tonight at dinner. Somehow in all this mess I had fallen in love with the woman now gracing my kitchen.

Running a hand through my hair, I took a deep breath. I had no idea what I was going to do, no idea how to deal with these emotions I felt.

Why did the first time I fell in love have to be with a woman who may never be capable of loving me back?

For one moment I let myself imagine what it would be like to have her feel for me what I did for her. To be able to show her how I felt. Just thinking about it made my heart race like never before.

The memory of her spread out naked on her bed flashed in my mind, and I had to force it away. As much as I wanted her, I couldn’t have her. I had to face the very real possibility that she would never want me like I wanted her. Never be able to look at me as anything more than the person who bought her.

My head fell into my hands and I groaned. Just the idea caused me pain. I would let her go, though. I loved her enough to let her go.

After spending several minutes pushing my fear of losing her deep inside, I made my way back into the main room to find her sitting on the couch. Glancing in the kitchen, I could see that everything was put away and in its place, not that I’d expected any different. Brianna took her responsibilities very seriously.

She didn’t look up when I came in, but I could tell she was aware of me. Good.

Brianna kept her eyes lowered as I made my way over to my chair. I sat down, placed my hands on the armrests, and told her to sit on my lap.

Her progress amazed me. She was gaining confidence every day. Brianna was the strongest woman I had ever met.

She sat on my legs with hands folded loosely. Her posture was alert but relaxed.

With my left hand I brushed her hair back away from her face. “You did very well this evening at the restaurant. I was impressed.”

She nodded. “Thank-you, Master.”

I saw a small smile play at her lips. She was obviously impressed with herself as well.

My hand moved up and down her arm slowly. I needed to touch her in some way, to show her how I felt, even if I couldn’t tell her with words. “You started to panic at first. What changed?”

She didn’t answer me right away, but I could tell by the look on her face that she was thinking so I waited. We sat for at least ten minutes before she finally said, “I don’t know. I was . . . scared,” she said and then paused for several seconds. I was sure she was gauging my reaction to her confession.

When I didn’t respond in any way, she continued. I saw a light blush color her cheeks as she said, “Then I . . .” She swallowed. “I told myself you wouldn’t let anything happen to me.”

My heart jumped at her confession. I knew my touch calmed her. I’d seen it firsthand many times before. But for her to admit such a thing, to connect it, and have it help her . . .

I pulled her closer to me and tucked her head beneath my chin. She leaned into me, and I thought I felt her release a small sigh. “I would never let anything happen to you,” I confirmed.

We sat for a long time without a sound between us except our breathing. I knew we needed to talk about what had happened at the grocery store, and it was getting late.

Without moving either of us from our current position, I said, “You used your safe word tonight.” I felt her stiffen. “Thank-you,” I responded. She needed to know above all else that I wanted her to use her safe words. I didn’t want her to be afraid of them.

Brianna relaxed once more in my arms, and again I let a few moments lapse before continuing. “Will you tell me what caused you to reach an eight? Why did you panic?”

She took a deep breath, and I could feel her preparing herself. I rubbed my hand up and down her arm, trying to comfort her. “That man . . .”

I waited for her to continue, but after several minutes she did not. “What about the man?”

“I don’t know,” she confessed and I believed her.

“I know this will be hard, Brianna, but I want you to close your eyes and think back. What was it about the man that scared you?”

A small motion brought my attention to her hands. They were balled into fists. I hated that this was so difficult for her, but it was necessary if she was ever to attempt a normal life.

“His eyes,” she whispered.

“What about his eyes?”

I felt her shake her head against my shoulder and then heard a sob. “I don’t know.”

Pulling her tighter against me, I placed a soft kiss to her head and held her while she calmed down.

I looked at my watch and knew we needed to be going to bed soon. With my left hand I took her right one and brought it up to her neck. “This,” I said, brushing both of our fingers along her collar, “is a symbol to show that I am always with you. I would never let someone take you away from me, Brianna.”

I gave her a moment to process that information. “Do you believe me?”

“Yes,” she said without hesitation. I nodded and just took a moment to enjoy the feeling of her in my arms.

Long before I wanted to, I repositioned her on my lap so that I could see her face. “I want to talk about this some more, but I would like for you to try and figure out what exactly it was about this man’s eyes that bothered you. I don’t want you to always be afraid.”

“I will try for you, Master.”