Skulduggery Pleasant: Mortal Cole (28 page)

“But you don’t think that’s what happened?”

“No, I do not – but we have to be sure.”

“So we’re going in,” Scrutinous said.

Random laughed. “No, we’re not.”

“Yes, we are.”

Random’s laugh dissolved. “No, we are not. Are you crazy? Skulduggery, you’re used to this kind of thing, but Geoffrey and I are in public relations. We don’t fight, or shoot guns. We convince mortal witnesses that they didn’t see what they
actually saw. We can’t storm a building that’s fallen into enemy hands. We couldn’t storm a
closet.”

“You’re going to have to learn,” Skulduggery said, “because you two are the only way I have of making sure people are who they say they are.”

“But it’s
scary,”
Random whined.

Scrutinous laid a hand on Random’s shoulder. “I was in a life or death struggle earlier tonight, Philomena. I was almost killed. But I got through it. Was I injured? Yes. Was it serious? My knee still stings. But I’m alive. I did it. You can too.”

Random took a breath. “OK. OK, let’s do it. But you’re going first.”

“Actually,” Scrutinous said, “Skulduggery’s going first. He’s got the gun.”

“Well, I’m not going
last,”
said Random. “I’ll go in the middle.”

Scrutinous glowered.
“I’m
going in the middle. I’m injured.”

“You skinned your
knee.”

“Skinning your knee is one of the most painful non-lethal injuries there is.”

“It’s not worse than a paper cut.”

“I said
one
of the most painful,” Scrutinous pointed out.

“The pair of you,” Skulduggery said, “shut up. I’ll lead the
way. You two can walk side by side behind me. Happy?”

“Not really,” said Random, but Skulduggery was already walking across the street. Scrutinous grabbed Random’s arm and dragged her across. They followed Skulduggery down the steps and through the iron door. It closed behind them as they passed into the corridor with the carved walls.

“If a Remnant takes control of me,” Scrutinous whispered to Random as they crept along, “I… I would rather you kill me than allow me to hurt anyone.”

Random looked at him, and nodded solemnly. “You have my word. And if one of those
things
takes control of
me,
I… I want you to leave me alone and let me go about my business.”

“You’re hysterical,” Scrutinous said. “You don’t really mean that.”

“I am
not
hysterical and yes, I
do
mean that. If I’m possessed, you are not allowed to let
him
shoot me.”

“But you’ll be evil.”

“At least I’ll be walking around. Do I have your word?”

“No,” said Scrutinous crossly, “you do
not
have my word.”

“Fine,” Random snapped. “Then you don’t have my word either.”

A door opened, somewhere beyond the Great Chamber, and they heard shouting, and cries of alarm. Crashes and
bangs and the sound of things breaking. A battle being fought.

They hurried to the door ahead, looked into the Chamber just as figures sprinted through. A fireball exploded and the air rippled. It was the ridiculously named Four Elementals, all five of them, and it was three against two. Black veins stood out clearly on the faces of the three attackers. The two defenders backed away.

Skulduggery strode in, Scrutinous and Random hurrying to keep up. “How about we even up the odds in here?” he said, at which point all of the Four Elementals looked around. Skulduggery stopped walking immediately, and said, “Oh, hell.”

The two defenders were black-lipped, vein-ridden Remnants too. This wasn’t a battle between good and evil, it was more a squabble between siblings.

The Four Elementals pushed at the air as one, and a wave of air hit Scrutinous and Skulduggery and Random, and tossed them back off their feet. Random hit the wall beside the door and dropped to the ground, while Scrutinous and Skulduggery sprawled out into the corridor. Scrutinous looked up, dazed, in time to see a Remnant flit towards Random, and then Skulduggery was pulling him to his feet, and they were running.

There were more shouts and Scrutinous glanced back, saw Shakra joining the Four Elementals as they sprinted in pursuit, saw even more sorcerers emerging behind them. And above them, darting from point to point, Remnants, closing in. Scrutinous piled on the speed, his sandals slapping the hard floor, the beads around his neck leaping up to hit his goatee. Skulduggery was fast, and was already close to the exit. Scrutinous was not.

Something cold latched on to the back of his neck, and slithered around before he could even get his hands up. He stumbled, tried to call for help, but the moment his mouth opened the Remnant slipped inside. Ahead of him, Skulduggery had the door open and was looking back. Scrutinous tried to scream as the black-lipped sorcerers caught up to him and the cold feeling spread down into his throat. When he looked back at the door, Skulduggery was gone.

T
he early morning sun did nothing to beat back the freezing cold. Few cars ventured out, but Tanith’s bike hugged the treacherous roads like it was a warm summer’s day. She pulled into a garage where the only other vehicle was an SUV, set the bike down on its kickstand, and took off her helmet. Her hands were numb as she slipped the petrol nozzle into the tank. The gauge on the pump clicked steadily upwards, her own chattering teeth adding to the symphony.

Even though Kenspeckle had healed the injuries sustained
when Tesseract had thrown that
stereo
into her
head
– the very thought of it stirred her anger – the cold was making her face ache. Standing there, freezing, she decided to finally ask Ghastly to make her some warmer clothes. She’d always liked the clothes he’d made Valkyrie, and the fact that they acted like body armour was a bonus she could probably do with. Those kinds of clothes were expensive, though – but she figured if she asked him nicely…

She returned the nozzle to the petrol pump and hurried in to pay. The warmth embraced her the moment she set foot in the door, and she shivered in appreciation.

“Cold out,” said the guy behind the counter.

If it had been Valkyrie standing there instead of Tanith, the guy would have been fixed with a withering stare for stating the bloody obvious. As it was, Tanith smiled as she approached.

“It is indeed,” she said.

The guy, no more than eighteen, smiled as he brought up what she owed. “Nice bike,” he said. His nametag identified him as Ged. “I want to get a bike, but the insurance is way high.”

Tanith handed over cash. “Well, they’re not the safest way to travel, I have to admit.”

He nodded, still smiling. “I like your coat.”

“Thank you.”

“I like your boots.”

He was still smiling. Not in an endearing way, and not, bless his heart, in a flirtatious way. Just smiling. Just standing there smiling, making random comments.

“Thanks,” Tanith said again. The door opened behind her and a gust of cold air swept in. “Well, be seeing you.”

A middle-aged woman stood between her and the door. She was plump, her hair a little too red to be entirely natural. She wasn’t moving, wasn’t shivering, wasn’t shopping, wasn’t looking through her handbag. She was just standing there, looking straight at Tanith, a faint smile on her face.

Ged grabbed Tanith’s hair and yanked her backwards, halfway over the counter. The middle-aged woman ran forward, fist plunging into Tanith’s belly. The air left Tanith’s lungs and she wanted to fold up, but Ged still had her hair. She tried to break his grip, but he was stronger than he looked. The woman hit her again, and again, then leaned in, hands on Tanith’s face.

“This won’t take a minute,” the woman said, and opened her mouth wide. Something stirred within her throat, something black, writhing and wriggling its way up her gullet. Tanith saw eyes, slits of white. She stopped trying to break
Ged’s hold, and instead slapped both hands against the woman’s ears. The woman sagged, dazed, her mouth closing, forcing the darkness back down inside her. A Remnant. It had to be. The woman took a step back and Tanith kicked her in the face.

Ged growled, and Tanith cried out as she was hauled all the way over the counter. Ged dropped her on the floor on the other side and knelt on her, firing punches. She covered up as best she could, but the punches were getting through and rattling her skull.

In desperation, she heaved herself sideways, letting her legs swing up wildly. She caught him on the shoulder and he grunted. She scrambled up, but he was on her already, forcing her back. Her hip slid along the wall and she twisted, flinging him against a rack of car-cleaning products.

Tanith sprang over the counter, ignoring the middle-aged woman who was trying to get to her feet, going right for the door.

A little boy, aged around eight or nine, stood there.

“Why did you hurt my mammy?” he asked.

Ged charged into her, and they crashed into a row of shelves. The shelves toppled. Jam jars smashed and bags of sugar exploded and a dozen other household goods spilled out
across the floor. Tanith rolled on top and rammed her elbow into Ged’s grinning mouth. As she hit him, he actually started laughing. She drove her knee up into him and he grunted, and the laugh was reduced to a pained chuckle.

She pushed herself up. The middle-aged woman was on her feet, but shaking her head, like her equilibrium was lost and she was trying to get it back.

“Mammy!” the little boy cried, hurrying to her. He passed Tanith and suddenly swung around, his little fist crunching against her ribs. Sharp pain stabbed through her side, and she doubled over as he hit her again.

The little boy looked at his hands, eyes bright. “This is new,” he murmured. He took hold of her, stepped back and launched her across the floor.

“I’m fairly certain that I just broke my little hand,” the boy said, sauntering over. “Not that it matters. I’m about to get an upgrade.”

Tanith raised herself to her hands and knees, but the little boy lunged, his foot smacking into her cheek. She sprawled on to her back.

“We had a deal, you see,” the little boy continued as he stood over her. “The three of us. We all want a sorcerer’s body, so we decided that the one who beats you, gets you. They both
went for the older and stronger vessels. But me? I had a feeling you wouldn’t be too eager to hit a child.”

The Remnant made him stronger, but it didn’t make him any heavier. She swung her leg into his ankle and he toppled into the magazine rack, which collapsed on top of him. Tanith sprang up. Ged and the woman were closing in.

“You can’t kill us,” Ged said, blood pouring from his ruined mouth. “These are innocent people we’re using.”

“Good people,” the woman nodded.

“If you give yourself to me,” Ged promised, “I promise I’ll take good care of you.”

“You’ll be happier with me,” the woman said. “I’m getting used to a female body, and us girls have to stick together, don’t we?”

“I don’t care if you’re good people,” Tanith snarled. “Kenspeckle Grouse was a good person, but he still hammered nails through my hands and legs. If either of you takes one more step, I’ll hurt you.”

Ged and the woman looked at each other, laughed, and came closer.

Tanith took three quick steps and jumped, twisting her hips slightly and snapping out both legs. The toe of her left boot hit Ged’s cheek, and the heel of her right boot crunched into the
woman’s nose. They went sprawling on either side of her as she landed.

She ran out into the cold and hopped on her bike. Pulling on her helmet, she moved the bike off its kickstand and fired up the engine. She looked back to see the boy sprinting after her, screaming in fury as she roared out on to the road.

M
uriel Hubbard came in, left her car keys on the hall table and draped her coat over the banister. She went looking for her husband, found him in the living room on the phone, talking about a riot. Today was his day off, but they still came running to their Chief Superintendent whenever anything bad happened. Her own phone rang, and James looked around, gave her a tight smile. She smiled back and left the room, bringing the phone to her ear.

“Mum.” It was Ashley. She was whispering. “I need help.”

Muriel adjusted the thermostat in the hall, it was much too warm in the house, and walked into the kitchen. “What’s wrong, sweetie?”

“They’re after me.”

“Who is after you?”

“The others.”

“Your friends?”

“They’re not my friends.”

Muriel brought the kettle to the sink and filled it. “Are you arguing with Imogen again? Sweetie, you know what she’s like. Give her a few hours and she’ll be all apologies.”

“Imogen’s dead.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic. You’ll forgive her, you always do.”

“Mum. Imogen is dead. They killed her.”

“Who killed her?” asked Muriel.

“The others. Dan and Aoife and the others.” Her daughter’s voice shook. “They… they tore her apart.”

Muriel nodded. “And why did they do that?”

“I don’t bloody know!”

“There’s no need to curse, Ashley. We’ve all had arguments, we’ve all had fights, we’ve all torn strips off each other. True friends work it out.”

“Mum, you’re not listening to me. I don’t mean they tore her apart with
words.
They tore her apart with their
hands.
She’s not dead to
me,
Mum, she’s just
dead.
Are you understanding me now? They physically attacked her and physically
killed
her.”

Muriel sighed. “Then why don’t you come home?”

“I’m hiding.”

“Where?”

“I’m in the playground, in the little hut thing.”

“Where the little kids play? You can fit into that?”

“They’re looking for me. They want Dad.”

Muriel poured boiling water into a cup and dipped a tea bag in. “Why do they want your father?”

“I don’t know. They said he has influence.”

“Of course he has influence, he’s the Garda Superintendent.”