Skulduggery Pleasant: Mortal Cole (21 page)

Nye nodded. “Yes, yes, you’re very frightening. Better run along and play now. Grown-ups have work to do.”

It smiled, and the warehouse door slid closed. Valkyrie glowered. She should have gone with option two.

She hailed a taxi. She was halfway home before she thought to check that she had any money, but thankfully she found some cash in her back pocket. The driver listened to the radio all the way to Haggard, and Valkyrie watched the world pass. She got out at the pier, hurried to her house, and rose to her window. She slipped her fingers through the crack, opened it and climbed in.

Her room was empty, the reflection elsewhere. Valkyrie was glad. She looked around and realised she was smiling. It was good to be home. It was good to be alive, and safe, and home, and it was good to know that she wasn’t going to become a monster who would murder the world. That was particularly comforting.

She heard someone coming up the stairs, and recognised her own footsteps. The reflection opened the door, not looking the least bit startled to see her.

“Your parents have gone out,” it said, and Valkyrie
wondered if it had said ‘your’ simply to reassure her that its earlier mistake would not be repeated. “Do you want to resume your life?”

Valkyrie shook her head. “I just want to take a shower and eat something, then I’ll be heading out again.”

“I’ll stay up here then, shall I?”

Valkyrie remembered, in her hallucination, the reflection encouraging Skulduggery to shoot her. “Yeah, you do that.”

She went downstairs, grabbed a plate of leftover turkey and a glass of milk while she turned on her phone. Messages popped up – three missed calls. She cringed, and called Skulduggery to apologise for sleeping in. He sounded bemused, but told her he was on his way, and he’d be there in half an hour.

Valkyrie ate more turkey and drank more milk, then took a shower. As she stood under the spray, she ran her hand along her chest, not detecting the faintest trace of any scar. Nye was good – its skills might even be comparable to Kenspeckle’s. And she reckoned their bedside manners were roughly the same, too.

She dressed, grabbed the present she’d wrapped for Skulduggery, and climbed out of the window without even glancing back at her reflection. She walked to the pier,
wondering if she should tell Skulduggery what she’d done. Now that the danger was over, now that the future was changed, could she share this secret she’d had to keep for five months? He’d understand why she hadn’t said anything. If anyone would understand, he would.

She reached the pier. The Bentley was already parked, and Skulduggery stood beside it, looking out at the sea that thundered against concrete and rock. He had brown eyes today, and thin lips. Same cheekbones and jaw, and the same waxy skin. His hat was cocked at its usual angle. Valkyrie marvelled at the way it tended to stay on, no matter how hard the wind was blowing. Then she realised he was probably manipulating the air around his head. Sneaky and stylish, the perfect combination.

She held out her hands. “Present.”

He looked at her. “You’re not getting your present.”

Valkyrie frowned. “What? Why not?”

“Because it was a
Christmas
present. It’s not Christmas any more.”

“Of course it is. There’s twelve whole
days
of Christmas.”

“They don’t count.”

“Yes they do.”

“The twelve days are merely to let people know when it’s
time to take down their tasteless decorations. It’s St Stephen’s Day today, and I didn’t get you a St Stephen’s Day present.”

The wind whipped her hair in front of her face. “But… But that’s not fair! I have
your
present!”

“Can I have it?”

“No you can’t!”

“Why not?”

“Why do you think? Because you won’t give me
mine.
”

“Ah, that’s just mean.”

“How can you consider
that
mean when you started it?”

“I’m not giving you
your
present because I just don’t give Christmas presents after Christmas. I don’t see the point. But you have no such policy, and so no such excuse. The only reason, that I can see, that you won’t give me my present is because of sheer bitterness. You’re just being mean.”

Valkyrie glared. “Fine. Here’s your present.”

She took it from her jacket and threw it to him. He examined the wrapping. “It’s a fairly distinctive shape.”

She grunted.

“I’m not entirely sure I need to unwrap it. I think I can guess what it is.”

“Good for you.”

“Valkyrie, is it a hairbrush?”

She jabbed a finger at him. “Yes! See? That’s a thoughtful gift! You haven’t needed a hairbrush in hundreds of years, but you do now! Sometimes, anyway.”

“Yes, but you got me a
hairbrush
for Christmas.”

“It works on two levels! It’s thoughtful
and
amusing! The present you gave me works on
no
levels, because you didn’t
give
me a present. Don’t you dare complain.”

Skulduggery hesitated, then put the gift in his pocket. “It’s a very thoughtful and amusing present, Valkyrie. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Can we get in the car now? It’s really cold.”

“Did you have a nice Christmas?”

“Sure.”

“How did your family event last night go?”

“Fine.”

“Do you think it will become an annual tradition?”

“Nope.”

“OK then,” Skulduggery said.

Valkyrie nodded. “Let’s go.”

She moved to the Bentley, then looked back at him. His arms were folded. “You’re not moving.”

“We are hurtling through space at a rate of 390 kilometres per second, Valkyrie. I would hardly call that not moving.”

“Then we are not moving to the
car,”
she sighed.

“This is true.”

“And why are we not moving to the car, Skulduggery?”

“Because,” he said.

“Because what?”

He looked around to make sure there was no one watching, and let his face flow away. Once he was back to his usual skeleton self, he continued. “Because I am waiting for you to tell me what is going on. You’ve been keeping something from me – and that ends now.”

“Oh.”

“Ordinarily, of course, I would respect your privacy, but—”

“No you wouldn’t.”

“Sorry?”

“You wouldn’t respect my privacy.”

“Yes I would.”

“Skulduggery, you never respect my privacy.”

“I do so all the time. Just last week, I respected your privacy.”

“What was I doing?”

“Well, you weren’t around.”

“That makes almost no sense.”

“But it does make a
bit
of sense, which is all I need. As I was
saying, ordinarily, I wouldn’t ask, but whatever you’re keeping from me is interfering with your work. You are my partner, after all.”

“OK,” she said, “I’ll tell you. I was going to tell you anyway, eventually. But before I do, I’ve already sorted everything out. I solved the problem. So keep that in mind when I tell you this. Promise?”

“I promise.”

“OK.” Valkyrie took a deep breath. “Are you ready?”

“I am.”

“You’re sure?”

“Quite sure.”

“OK. So I’ll tell you. Here I go. Skulduggery…”

“Yes, Valkyrie?”

“I’m… I don’t know how to say this. I…” She swallowed. “I’m Darquesse.”

Immediately, she felt better. Immediately, she felt cleaner, and lighter, and back to her old self. She found herself smiling.

“Right,” Skulduggery said.

“Yep.”

“You’re Darquesse.”

“That’s it.”

“In what way?”

“In a… what do you mean, what way?”

“You’re Darquesse in a metaphorical way?
We all have evil in our hearts, we’re all Darquesse
sort of way?”

“No,” Valkyrie said slowly. “I mean I’m Darquesse. In a literal,
I’m Darquesse
sort of way.”

His head tilted. “So you’re Darquesse?”

“Yes.”

“The same Darquesse who’s going to kill everyone?”

“That’s me.”

“The same Darquesse who kills your parents?”

“Apparently so.”

“And how have you reached this conclusion?”

“Remember years ago, when you were fighting Serpine, and the Book of Names fell? I caught a glimpse of my true name, so quick it didn’t even register. But when I heard the name Darquesse a few months ago, I knew I’d heard it somewhere before, and that’s where. It’s mine.”

“I see,” Skulduggery said. “How long have you known?”

“Roughly since we first heard about her. After the Sanctuary was destroyed.”

“And you’ve kept it to yourself?”

“Until now.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

“I wanted to take care of it.”

“Have you?”

“I wouldn’t be telling you all this if I hadn’t. Darquesse will not be making an appearance for the foreseeable ever. The world is safe.”

“How did you manage that?”

“I’ll tell you,” Valkyrie said. “But first you tell
me
what you think happens. Why do I kill everyone? Or why
would I have
if I hadn’t just, you know, stopped me?”

“The likeliest scenario would be that someone learns who you are and uses your true name to control you.”

“Exactly. So that’s taken care of.”

“How?”

“I sealed my name. I spoke to a few people, tracked down some other people, figured it out and implemented my plan all on my own. Are you proud of me?”

“Who did it?”

“Did what?”

Skulduggery cocked his head. “Who sealed your name?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Kenspeckle couldn’t have done it. Something like that would take years of research and trial and error, even for him.”

“It doesn’t matter, OK? It’s done. My heart was taken out,
the little symbols were drawn on, and I was stitched back together.”

“By whom?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You said you’d tell me.”

“I said I’d tell you what I’ve been up to lately. I didn’t say I’d give you this person’s name.”

“There’s only a handful of possibilities…”

“Skulduggery, drop it.”

“You should have told me,” he said. “I could have made sure it was safe.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“You had your heart removed from your body,” he said sternly. “You were
dead.
”

“You’re dead all the time, and you’re fine.”

“Who did it?”

“I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to talk about the person who did it. I just—”

“
Person,”
Skulduggery said. “You keep saying
person.
Not
he,
or
she.
Is it in an effort to further protect the identity, or is it… Is it an
it?
”

“I don’t know what you’re—”

His voice turned hard. “Doctor Nye.”

“What does it matter?” she blurted. “OK, fine, it was Nye! So what? It did its job, and now I’m back home and everything’s grand.”

“Nye’s a sick, twisted, evil freak, Valkyrie. You’re lucky you came back. You’re very,
very
lucky.”

“I know,” she said quietly, and looked away.

“You should have told me. You should have trusted me. You should have…” He stopped, and went silent. And then he said, “Never mind.”

She looked up. “What?”

“You were scared. I understand. You didn’t know how I’d react.”

“Well… yeah.”

He stepped towards her, and his hand went to her shoulder. “That was a mistake,” he said gently. “I’m not going to judge you, Valkyrie. I’d never judge you.”

Suddenly she felt like crying. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“What a burden it must have been. You’re very brave for facing it alone.”

“Thank you,” she mumbled.

“Amazingly, astonishingly
stupid,
but brave.”

She cracked a smile. “Yeah.”

“Very foolish, is what I’m getting at.”

“I can see that.”

“Thick, basically. Just thick. Dumb as a bag of hammers. Not too bright there, Valkyrie.”

“You can really stop complimenting me now.”

Skulduggery pulled her gently into a hug, and patted her back. “You brainless moron. You simple-minded cretin. You’re a half-wit. A dimwit. An imbecile. You’re as sharp as a marble. Thick as a ditch. Not the sharpest knife, nor the brightest crayon, and not the brightest bulb. You just fell off the turnip truck. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.”

She laughed into his chest. “Please stop talking.”

He pulled away from her. “In future, you tell me if you think there’s even the
slightest
chance you might be responsible for Armageddon, agreed?”

“Agreed.”

He hesitated. “And you know, of course, that you might be wrong.”

“About what?”

“About what makes you become Darquesse. We don’t
know
what triggers it, we’re only guessing someone tries to control you.”

“So basically, even though I’ve just sealed my true name, that doesn’t mean I won’t turn? Yeah, I’ve thought of that. I don’t believe it, but I’ve thought of it.”

“OK,” he said, and nodded. “Just wanted to make sure.” He turned back to the Bentley, and opened the door. “I knew you were keeping
something
from me,” he said. “I didn’t think it was quite so
big,
though.”

Valkyrie smiled. “What did you think it was?”

“It seems laughably insignificant now.”

“Let’s hear it.”

“I… OK, I thought you were going to tell me that there was something going on between you and Caelan. You know what? I actually think I’m relieved.”

Skulduggery chuckled, and got in behind the wheel. Valkyrie turned away so he wouldn’t see her smile drop, and got in the other side.

“Where to?” she asked as she buckled her seatbelt.

“Someone told Tesseract where I lived. I spent all of yesterday asking questions, and I finally found who the culprit is.”

“Do I know him?”

“Yes you do.”

“Are we going to track him down?”

“Yes we are.”

“Am I going to enjoy it?”

“Immensely.”