Read Skulduggery Pleasant: Dark Days Online
Authors: Derek Landy
S
kulduggery had once told Valkyrie that the best plans are the simple ones. Her plan was not a simple plan, but it was the only one they had, so they were stuck with it.
“Here’s what we do,” Valkyrie said as she paced the floor of Ghastly’s shop. “We go to the Sanctuary and ask to see Guild. Guild will keep us waiting, as he always does, because he won’t want anything to appear different until he knows for sure that we know he has the skull.”
Tanith, Ghastly and Fletcher looked at her and nodded.
“However,” she continued, “he’ll also be assuming that we
do
know, so he’ll be waiting for us to make a move. Fletcher won’t be with us, which will make Guild suspect that he’s already teleported in.”
“And where will I be?” Fletcher asked excitedly.
“I don’t know, fixing your hair or something. The point is his attention will be in two places – where
we
are and where the
skull
is.”
“And how do we find out where the skull is?” Tanith asked.
“The reasonable place to put it would be the Repository,” Ghastly said. “Put it with all the other artefacts and magical objects and keep it there. But he’s not going to do that.”
“It’s too obvious,” agreed Valkyrie. “That’s the first place we’d look. It’s also the first place we’re
going
to look.”
Fletcher frowned. “But it’s not going to be there.”
“No, but the cloaking sphere
is.
”
“The invisibility ball?” said Fletcher.
“Cloaking sphere,” insisted Valkyrie.
“Invisibility ball sounds better.”
“Invisibility ball sounds stupid.” She turned to the others. “Once we get it, we call Fletcher. He arrives, we let them close in on us and then we use the sphere.”
“And they think we’ve teleported out,” Tanith finished, smiling.
Valkyrie nodded. “And then, hopefully, Guild sends someone to check on the skull. We follow, grab it and
then
we teleport out. If it doesn’t pan out like that, we can at least search for it without being seen.”
“China will have to be ready,” said Ghastly. “Once they realise what’s happened, Davina Marr and the Cleavers will come after all of us.”
“Can I just point something out?” Fletcher asked. “That is an
awful
plan. On a scale of one to ten – the Trojan Horse being a ten and General Custer versus all those Indians being a one – your plan is a zero. I don’t think it’s a plan at all. I think it’s just a series of happenings that are, to be honest, unlikely to follow on from each other in the way in which everyone’s probably hoping.”
“Do you have a better plan?” Valkyrie asked.
“Of course not. I’m a man of action, not thought.”
Valkyrie nodded. “You’re definitely not a man of thought.”
“Why are you in charge anyway? What do
you
know about organising something like this?”
“I have faith,” Tanith said.
“As do I,” said Ghastly.
Valkyrie smiled at them gratefully. “So you think the plan will work?”
“God, no,” said Ghastly.
“Sorry, Val,” said Tanith.
Valkyrie stood with Tanith outside the old Waxworks Museum, letting the rain drench her hair. The windows were boarded up and there was a rusted gate pulled across the door. Even before the museum had closed down, it had never been impressive. She remembered school visits, trudging through dark corridors, gazing blankly at wax statues of boring politicians. She often wondered how things would be now if, as a little girl, she had wandered away from the tour group and found the hidden door.
If she had entered the Sanctuary
then
, would she have been taken under Skulduggery’s wing that much earlier? Or would the Cleavers merely have chopped her head off the moment they saw her? Probably the latter.
At least, back then, Eachan Meritorious had been Grand Mage of the Council of Elders. These days they didn’t even
have
a Council, only the Grand Mage, Thurid Guild, whom Skulduggery had once suspected of treason. Even now that Valkyrie knew he wasn’t guilty of
that
charge, she still viewed him as a dangerous individual with his own agenda.
And Guild had the skull.
Needing a replacement for Remus Crux, Guild had poached Davina Marr and her subordinate, Pennant, from one of the American Sanctuaries, and provided them with whatever they needed to do their job. Guild’s first decree had been that the portal never be opened again, lest more Faceless Ones come through. He had known Valkyrie and the others were hunting for the skull, and until today they had managed to stay one step ahead of him. But now, it seemed, Guild had overtaken them at the last hurdle.
The wind took the rain in at an angle and Valkyrie pulled her collar tight. She had called China, who had listened to the plan, such as it was, and assured her that if it did in fact work, then she would be available to help. She also said that there were two Sanctuary agents watching her at all times, and another two at Aranmore Farm. She had barely been able to send out her students to set up that perimeter around Haggard without the agents noticing. Valkyrie didn’t care. Only one thing mattered.
A bald man in a nice coat smiled as he passed them. Tanith ignored him, but Valkyrie returned the smile politely. There was something very familiar about him. He walked on and she looked around, wary of anyone trying to sneak up behind them.
“Ladies.”
She looked back. Ghastly stood where the bald man had been a second ago. Valkyrie was about to ask him what was going on, but Tanith figured it out before she spoke. “The façade tattoo,” she said, astonished. “It works!”
Ghastly smiled. “No more hat and scarf disguises for me, thank you very much. I can only use it for half an hour each day, but China’s working on a way to extend that.”
“Show me!” Valkyrie demanded, unable to stop her own smile from spreading.
Ghastly pulled apart the collar of his shirt and she saw the small tattoos, freshly burned into either side of his neck. He touched them and unblemished skin flowed upwards, rippling over his scars until it covered his whole head.
“Oh my God,” she said.
Ghastly smiled. “What do you think?”
“Oh my God,” she said again.
His features were strong, his jaw square and his skin, though slightly waxy, was clear and unscarred.
“China wanted to give me hair, but I thought that would be just a little
too
much, you know?”
“Oh my God.”
“You keep saying that. Tanith, what do you think?”
“I like it,” Tanith said. “But I dig scars too.”
He smiled, and touched the tattoos, and the perfect skin melted back into them, revealing the scars once again.
“Are we ready?” he asked, looking at the Waxworks Museum.
“I don’t like going anywhere without my sword,” Tanith grumbled. “You do realise that if the Cleavers come for us, they won’t care that we’re on the same side. They’ll cut us into ittybitty pieces just because they can.”
“If that happens,” Ghastly said, “you’ll at least die comforted by the fact that you had the moral high ground.”
“Well, that’ll be nice,” she muttered.
They went around the back of the Waxworks Museum and entered through the open door. It was dark and the corridor they walked along was narrow. They passed three wax statues. Valkyrie wasn’t surprised they’d been left here when the museum closed down. They weren’t very good and only one of them had a head.
They finally came to a wax statue that looked like the person it was supposed to be – Phil Lynott from the band Thin Lizzy. It turned its head as they approached.
“Hello,” it said.
“Hi, Phil,” replied Valkyrie.
Tanith, who had actually known the real Phil Lynott when he was alive, found the figure too unnerving, so she stayed at the back and didn’t look at it.
“We request an audience with the Grand Mage,” Ghastly said.
“Do you have an appointment?” the figure said, looking down at a page it had stuck to the back of its guitar. “You’re not on the list.”
“We don’t have an appointment, but we request to be seen.”
The wax head of Phil Lynott frowned. It didn’t like its new role. It was originally supposed to only open and close the door, but now that the Sanctuary didn’t have an Administrator, its job description had expanded.
“I’ll tell him you’re here,” it said and closed its eyes.
While they waited, Valkyrie became aware of how fast her heart was beating. If this didn’t work, they could all be arrested and it would be her fault. Worse, their one opportunity to get Skulduggery back would pass, and she’d never see him again.
The wax figure opened one of its eyes. “Any of you going to the final?” it asked.
Valkyrie took a moment. “I’m sorry?”
“The All-Ireland,” the figure said. “Dublin versus Kerry. Going to be a good one. I asked if I could go. I’ve never been to Croke Park. The Grand Mage said no. He said it would raise some questions if I’m recognised.”
“He’s probably right,” said Valkyrie slowly.
The figure opened both eyes. “The Grand Mage has been informed,” it said. “He has instructed a guide to take you to the Greeting Room, and he will be with you as soon as his schedule allows.”
“Thank you,” Valkyrie said, and the wall beside them rumbled and parted, and they went through.
They got to the bottom of the stone stairs and a sour-looking man beckoned to them impatiently. Valkyrie glanced at the greyclad Cleavers as she passed them, their faces hidden behind visored helmets. She used to find them threatening, but compared to the White Cleaver who stood with the Necromancers, they were positively cuddly.
The impatient sorcerer herded them quickly through the corridors.
“I don’t have time to be doing this,” he griped. “I’ve got work to do, for God’s sake. Don’t they know I have work to do? Showing you people where to go is an Administrator’s job. Do I
look
like an Administrator to you?”
“No,” Tanith said. “You look like a remarkably grumpy man.”
He glared at her and she narrowed her eyes. He looked away.
“In there,” he said, pointing to a room. “The Grand Mage will be with you when he’s with you. If you want anything, tea or coffee, get it yourself and don’t bother me any more.”
He stalked off and they looked at each other.
“Guild wants us left alone so that we’ll go after the skull,” Ghastly said quietly. “He wants us arrested and thrown in the cells. He’s just waiting for us to make a wrong move.”
“Let’s not disappoint him then,” Tanith responded. They ignored the Greeting Room and took the first corridor to their right. The people they passed didn’t even glance at them.
They passed the Gaol, where the sickest, most evil sorcerers in the country were kept in cages hanging off the ground. An average criminal would be sent to one of the maximum security prisons, but the Gaol was reserved for the worst of the worst.
Beyond the Gaol was the Repository. Making sure no one was watching, Tanith pushed open the double doors and they crept inside. Ghastly held up his hand and read the air, feeling any disturbances.
“We’re alone,” he announced and all three of them immediately strode among the dimly-lit shelves, looking for a wooden sphere about twice the size of a tennis ball.
Valkyrie hurried to the place where the cloaking sphere had been kept the last time she was here, but the space was empty. She quickly checked the rest of the shelf, her eyes skimming over the arcane objects. The collection of magical artefacts in this room was enough to make collectors like China Sorrows envious.
They searched for five or six minutes and came up with nothing.
“This isn’t good,” Ghastly muttered when Valkyrie passed him.
She clicked her fingers to summon a flame into her hand and searched the darker recesses of the room. This wasn’t good at all.
“Do we have a Plan B?” Tanith called out from behind a stack of scrolls.
“We barely have a Plan A,” Valkyrie muttered.
Ghastly had his ear to the door and he stepped away. “They’re coming,” he said.
Furious, Valkyrie whipped out her phone and called Fletcher. Her plan hadn’t worked. The only thing they could do now was get out before they were caught.
“The Repository,” she said into the phone and Fletcher appeared behind her. Symbols flashed on the walls and blue lightning darted to where he was standing. He screamed as the lightning danced through him. When the symbols faded, he collapsed with a moan.
It was a trap and, right on cue, the double doors swung open and a dark-haired woman walked in, a squad of Cleavers behind her.
Ghastly and Tanith converged on Valkyrie as she knelt by Fletcher.
“Get us out of here,” she ordered, but tremors coursed through Fletcher’s body.
“Can’t,” he mumbled.
Davina Marr looked at them and smiled. “Welcome to the Sanctuary. You are all under arrest.”
T
he Interrogation Room was bound. Valkyrie could feel the low ebb of her magic, just out of reach. She didn’t like that feeling. It added to her uneasiness.
She sat across from Marr and did her best to ignore Pennant, standing beside the door. Having the door in front of her was their mistake. Anytime Skulduggery had used this interview room, he’d positioned the suspects with their backs to it. It meant they had to crane their necks to see whoever walked in. The way Marr had arranged it, it was almost like this was Valkyrie’s office and she was sitting at her own desk.
Valkyrie worked at looking calm and hiding the panic she was feeling. This had been their one chance to get Skulduggery back. If Guild hid the skull or worse, destroyed it, their one chance would disappear. She went cold inside thinking about it.
“Valkyrie,” Marr said eventually, raising her different coloured eyes from whatever it was she was reading. Valkyrie doubted the file had anything to do with her. It was probably just some random collection of pages Marr thought might intimidate her. “You’re in quite a lot of trouble.”
Valkyrie said nothing and rubbed the fingers of her right hand against each other. Her Necromancer ring had been taken. She missed it.
Marr had dark hair, cut short at the neck. She was pretty, in an unremarkable way. “You were caught trying to steal Sanctuary property. Do you know how serious that is? Do you know how long you could be put in prison for?” Marr sighed as if disappointed. “This isn’t a game, Valkyrie. You’re part of something that is turning out to be very dangerous. Ghastly Bespoke and Tanith Low are looking at twenty years in prison at the very least. Twenty years, Valkyrie. What is it you were trying to steal anyway?”
Valkyrie fixed her eyes on a speck of lint on Marr’s collar and didn’t answer.
“We have Skulduggery Pleasant’s head. I know you’re here to steal it, and let me assure you, we do understand. Skulduggery was a friend of yours.”
“
Is
a friend,” corrected Valkyrie.
“Was I referring to him in the past tense?” Marr asked, looking ashamed. “Oh dear, I’m very sorry. Yes, he
is
a friend of yours and I’m sure you consider him a very
good
friend. We
all
have good friends and we would do a lot for those friends – within reason, naturally. But this crusade of yours, to open up the portal, it’s…quite frankly, it is
not
within reason.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Valkyrie said.
Marr’s smile was becoming as irritating as her manner. “Of course you don’t,” she whispered conspiratorially. “But let’s pretend you did. Let’s pretend, and this is without incriminating yourself – that means to get yourself into trouble – that you
did
want to open the portal to try and bring your friend back. It would mean that you’d
also
be opening the portal for the Faceless Ones. Do you see that? Do you understand?”
Valkyrie was becoming fixated on Marr’s little nose. It was like a target, begging to have a chair smashed into it.
“The only reason they came through the last time was because they had been signalled,” Valkyrie said. “Hypothetically speaking, if we were to open that portal now, they wouldn’t be waiting. But Skulduggery
would.
”
“The Grand Mage has expressly forbidden that portal to ever be opened again. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t work for the Grand Mage.”
“The Sanctuary polices the entire magical community in Ireland – not just the people who work there. Valkyrie, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your friend is most likely dead.”
“Of course he’s dead. He’s a skeleton.”
“For almost a year he’s been trapped on a world with the Faceless Ones. We can only imagine the horror and the agony he must have been put through before they finally decided to end his existence. We can only imagine what they reduced him to – the screaming, the crying, the begging. Sweetheart, in a way you’re lucky he’s gone. If he ever did return, I’m sure you’d find him a little…pathetic.”
“Don’t call me sweetheart.”
Marr blinked, surprised. “Oh. OK.”
“And
never
call him pathetic.”
Marr leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table between them. “I can help you. I want to help you. Tell me who planned this and you can walk away. We’ll drop all charges against you. Help us punish the people who deserve to be punished – Ghastly, Tanith and China. Oh, yes, we know she’s involved. She’s mixed up in every seedy little operation in the country. Sanctuaries all over the world want Miss Sorrows behind bars for the things she’s done in the past. You’ll be doing everyone a great service.”
When she didn’t get a response, Marr shook her head. “This is a one-time offer, Valkyrie. The moment I walk out that door, you’ll be taken back to your cell to await transport to a Gaol. You’ll go to prison, sweetheart. Please, I don’t want to see that happen to you. Talk to me, let me help you and you can walk away.”
Valkyrie met her eyes. “And Fletcher?”
Marr nodded. “Mr Renn is doing fine. We installed that security system to temporarily disrupt certain electrical impulses in his mind. He can’t teleport if he doesn’t have a clear head, now can he? But I assure you, he’s fine now.”
“Are you going to offer the same deal to him?”
“Do you want us to? Is there some kind of…connection between the two of you? I’ll be honest, Valkyrie, if you help us, I think I can persuade the Grand Mage to release him. I think I can do that.”
“And Guild will let him go? He won’t want to hang on to him? Fletcher
is
the last Teleporter alive after all.”
“I really, really don’t know, sweetheart, what the Grand Mage has in mind. If you’re asking would he like Fletcher to work for this Sanctuary, then yes, I’m sure he would. Fletcher has a unique and sought-after ability. Maybe, how about this, maybe you
both
could sign up? Would you like that? Become an official Sanctuary agent? You might make a good team.”
“Why doesn’t Guild want us to get Skulduggery back?”
Marr shook her head. “You wouldn’t understand. The Grand Mage has to weigh up everything about this. He has to evaluate the risk against the reward. It’s a big, important decision that he’s made and I think he’s made the right one. Skulduggery made a sacrifice. He died so that we could live. The Grand Mage is respecting that and we should too.”
“Guild said Bliss made the sacrifice. He said Bliss saved us all.”
“Mr Bliss gave his life, Valkyrie.”
“I know he did. I was there. I saw it happen. You didn’t, but I did. I saw Bliss die and I saw what happened next. I saw Skulduggery get dragged through that portal. He reached out to me, but I couldn’t save him.”
“That’s very sad,” Marr said gently.
“But Guild ignored all that. He gave all the credit to Bliss because he didn’t want to admit that he was wrong about Skulduggery.”
“No, Valkyrie, that’s not what happened.”
“Guild doesn’t want us to even
try
to get Skulduggery back because Guild doesn’t
want
Skulduggery back. He hates him. He always has.”
Marr pinched the bridge of her nose. “China Sorrows has brainwashed you,” she said sadly. “I can’t take it any more. I’ll order her arrest immediately.”
“China’s done nothing wrong,” said Valkyrie angrily.
“You’d do anything she tells you to,” Marr sighed, gathering up her papers. “Detective Pennant will take you back to your cell.”
Pennant opened the door and Marr walked over to it.
“You’ll regret this,” Valkyrie said.
Marr turned. “Are you threatening me, child?”
“No. I’m just saying you’ll regret this. Anyone who stands against Skulduggery always regrets it. The Detective before you, for example. Remus Crux. Have you heard from him lately?”
Marr’s face went taut and she didn’t answer.
“He stood against Skulduggery,” Valkyrie continued, “and then his mind was torn to pieces. Everyone regrets it, Miss Marr. You will too.”
Marr turned to go, then turned again.
“I’ve changed my mind,” she announced. “I’ll escort you back to your cell personally. Detective Pennant, you may leave us.”
Pennant smiled and walked out without a word. Marr swept her hand to the door as an invitation. “After you, Valkyrie.”
Valkyrie got up and walked over, expecting Marr to shackle her wrists before she left the room, but she walked into the corridor unbound and felt her magic return to her. She led the way down towards the holding cells, Marr at her elbow, and tried to figure out what was going on. Had Marr simply forgotten the shackles? Did she not think Valkyrie was a legitimate threat? Or was it a trap? Was Marr waiting for Valkyrie to attempt an escape? The closer they got to the cells, the wilder her mind spun.
“You said those who stand against your skeleton friend regret it,” Marr said as they approached the corner to the cells. “But what about those who stand
with
him? What about Bliss, since you brought him up? How is
he
doing these days?”
Valkyrie said nothing and turned the corner. She frowned. There was usually someone on duty at the desk, but today the chair was empty.
Marr spoke right into her ear. “That skeleton got people
killed
– friends, people he loved, his own
family.
It’s a wonder he didn’t get
you
killed before he went. It’s a damn shame, if you ask me.”
Valkyrie turned quickly and Marr pushed her back and laughed.
“Don’t worry, sweetie. I know what it is. All those hormones raging, you have all these conflicting emotions…”
Valkyrie raised her hand to push at the air, but Marr was faster. The air rushed around her and Valkyrie hit the wall and dropped to the floor.
Marr strolled towards her. “You had a crush on him before he was pulled into hell, didn’t you? A little one? You can tell me. It’s sad and pathetic and highly amusing, but I promise I won’t laugh.”
Valkyrie clicked her fingers and Marr kicked her wrist. The fire went out and she was hauled up. She swung a punch that missed, and Marr sent her face-first into a cell door.
“No one likes an upstart,” Marr said. “If you start behaving, maybe I’ll even let you in to say goodbye to his head. It makes a very nice ornament for the Grand Mage’s office.”
Marr was close and Valkyrie reached out and grabbed her. She got one foot behind Marr’s, tried to throw her, but Marr bent her knees and moved. Valkyrie tumbled backwards over Marr’s hip. All her weight came down on her shoulder and she cried out. Marr took hold of her arm and twisted it as she kneeled on her ribs.
“Assault on a Sanctuary agent,” Marr said sadly. “If you were an adult, that would mean years in prison for you. But seeing as how you’re a child…I don’t know. Maybe all that’ll happen is that you’ll be branded with a few binding symbols, to permanently disable your magic. That wouldn’t be so bad, would it, you insolent little wretch?”
“Get
off
me.”
“Or what?” Marr smiled. “You’ll start crying? I can already see the tears in your eyes. Look at you. So helpless. So weak. You don’t even have your little ring, do you?”
With her free hand, Marr took the black ring from her pocket.
“Now what’s a nice girl like you doing studying a nasty discipline like Necromancy? We don’t
like
Necromancers around here, haven’t you realised that? Nobody likes them. They can’t be trusted.”
“Let me up.”
Marr let the ring fall to the floor and slapped Valkyrie across the face. “You do
not
tell me what to do.” She slapped her again. “You do
not
tell your elders what to do. Do you understand me?” Another slap. “Say you understand.
Say you understand.
”
Through gritted teeth, Valkyrie said, “I’m going to kill you.”
Marr pressed her knee in harder against Valkyrie’s ribs and Valkyrie cried out again.
“You want me to break your arm, you little brat? You want me to break your ribs? Puncture a lung? Because I can do it. I can do anything I want and no one will question me. So go ahead. Lie there and threaten me some more. See where it gets you.”
Fighting back the tears, Valkyrie glared but said nothing.
“Good girl,” Marr said, her eyes narrow. “Now apologise.”
Valkyrie clenched her jaw.
“I said,
apologise.
There’s no one here but us. You’ve got no one to impress. Apologise and I’ll let you up and put you in your cell. If you
don’t
apologise…”
Marr slapped her again and raised her hand for another strike.
Valkyrie worked to ignore her pride and the anger that humiliation brought. She swallowed. “I’m sorry.”
Immediately, Marr softened. “OK. OK, Valkyrie, that’s all I needed to hear.” The pressure on her ribs was removed. “Now ask me to let you up.”
Valkyrie took a moment then, “Can I get up?”
“Say please.”
“Please…can I get up?”
“Of course.”
Marr stepped back and Valkyrie turned on to her hands and knees, and started to rise. Suddenly the air was pushing down, keeping her hunched over.
“Say thank you,” Marr said, controlling the air with her hand. Valkyrie looked up at her. “Say thank you, Detective Marr, for letting me stand up.”
And Valkyrie said, “Thank you, Detective Marr, for giving me back my ring.”
Marr’s eyes flickered to the ground where the ring had fallen, but it wasn’t there any more, and before she could do anything about it, Valkyrie sent a fist of shadows slamming into the detective’s chest.
Marr stumbled and Valkyrie straightened, reaching out through the air for the desk. It shot forward and slammed into Marr’s legs, and she flipped and fell over it.
Valkyrie opened the desk, snatched the keys up and ran to the cells. She unlocked Ghastly’s door and he emerged, tackling Marr as she came at Valkyrie.
“Prisoners are escaping!” Marr roared.