Skinny Dipping (34 page)

He spoke gently, softly. “It will be okay,” he said, reaching out to touch her.

“How do you know that?” she said, turning and giving him a savage look. “How could you possibly understand? My Dad’s in hospital.” She burst into tears and began apologizing for her abominable behaviour. Wiping away at her face, she shot him a glance of regret. She’d almost gotten too close to Matthew. Almost slept with him. He hadn’t even bothered to take her out on a date. Now that was silly. He’d get what he wanted, then toss her away, find another girl – there were enough chasing him around, weren’t there. She shouldn’t so easily trust a man.

Midnight came and passed, without so much as an acknowledgement that it was already the next year. It was almost a two hour drive to the hospital and she sat there, without saying a word.

The car approached the hospital and she wrenched open the passenger door. “Thanks for everything. You don’t have to stay,” she said, pausing with one foot out the door. “Happy New Year. Go on. Go and enjoy it.”

“Sophie,” he exclaimed. “I don’t want you to end up in emergency, too.”

She stepped out onto the road the moment the car stopped, ignoring him. She was a grown woman after all, and with indignation she ran into the emergency ward, straight to the counter.

Matthew was suddenly behind her, breathless, probably from racing after her. He put a coat around her shoulders. “I’ll find out the information.”

“But….” Her eyes blazed at him, this was a family emergency. He had no right to be there. She was forming the right words.

“Sit down,” he commanded, and she stiffened her back. Who did he think he was telling her to sit down? “Trust me on this. I’ll find out what’s happening.”

“What if he’s not okay?”

“Sit down,” he repeated. Frowning angrily, she found herself following his instructions. Twisting her hands together she watched Matthew approach nurse after nurse until he seemed to have success cornering one, a tall nurse who looked like she’d been working at the hospital for days, who seemed to give into him. She overheard him explaining that he was an immediate family member. Of course, he said that, she should have known,
all men lie
. Although, she supposed she could excuse him in this circumstance, couldn’t she?

Sophie was about to jump up from her seat and blast the nurse and the whole hospital system when out of the corner of her eye, she saw Gloria walk into the waiting room, hunched and holding a cup of coffee, probably from one of the vending machines. Gloria was as white as a sheet.

“Mum,” Sophie shrieked, racing to Gloria’s side. She drew her into a hug.“Are you okay?”

“I can’t find out anything.” Gloria’s eyes were wide, blank, and void of expression. “Too many stupid accidents apparently on New Year’s Eve.” Then Gloria began to wail, her shoulders shaking as she cried. “He was holding his chest. He was in so much pain. So much pain. I had to call the ambulance.”

Feelings of guilt sweep over Sophie. “It’s my fault. I should have known,” she said. “He was keeling over the other day.”

“How can it be your fault? A heart attack is a physical condition,” Matthew insisted, approaching them and putting an arm around her shoulders protectively.

“Mum,” Sophie said, suddenly aware of Matthew next to her. “This is Matthew Silver.”

“It’s good of you to be here, to keep Sophie company.” Gloria introduced herself to Matthew, wiping away a few tears before she extended her hand.

“Matthew Silver.” He shook her hand. “Of course I’d be here for Sophie.” Despite Gloria’s deathly pale appearance, her eyes scanned Matthew with great interest.

The news Matthew had managed to extract was that her father had had a heart attack and just come out of emergency treatment.

Matthew directed them to a ward, where once again Sophie found herself rushing, her feet running over the linoleum hallway and into a room filled with beds. White curtains were pulled around to where her father lay. Sophie braced herself for how he would look. Her stomach tensed, as she pushed through the curtains, plastering a smile on her face.

He looked thin, his eyes were closed and his face was grey. Gloria fell into the chair next to him, clutching his hand.

He was alive. Her Dad was alive.
A sensation soared through Sophie’s body,
he was alive!
She kissed him on the cheek, grateful to have her Dad there. “Happy New Year, Daddy,” she whispered.

A few hours later, Edith burst into the room, alone but carrying a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

“How’s the old man?” Edith asked, kissing his cheek. She looked around the room critically, scrutinizing it. “Did you bring him anything?” Edith asked, looking pointedly at Sophie.

“No, I came straight here from a party.”

Edith shook her head. “Typical.” She stared icily at Matthew, who stood awkwardly in the corner, hands thrust deeply in his pockets, and raised a manicured eyebrow.

“Edith, this is Mathew.” Sophie introduced him.

“Where’s Derek?” Edith’s eyebrows shot up to the top her forehead.

“Derek won’t be coming,” Sophie stated.

“I thought Derek was your boyfriend?”

“No. Nope. Derek is not my boyfriend anymore,” Sophie said firmly. How Sophie wished she would stop, the situation with Matthew was awkward enough.

Edith shrugged and turned away from Matthew, then looked at Gloria still clutching Roger’s hand. “It’s okay Mum, I’ve spoken to the Doctor.” Edith almost puffed out her chest; her medical background was always relevant. Sophie hated to admit it, but this time it was. “The Doc says, he’ll be here for about four or five days. But as long as he’s under my supervision, and we’re easy on him, I think we can get him out of here and back home soon.”

“That’s great,” Sophie said, relief flooding her body.

Matthew left the hospital soon after. “Nice to meet you,” he said, shaking Edith’s hand. “I’ll leave you guys for a bit.” He took his leave.

***

Several hours later, Sophie was awakened by Matthew prodding her. She lay stretched out in the waiting room. Edith had taken Gloria home (who had ridden in the ambulance with Roger) and Sophie decided to wait. Just in case.

“I’ve already asked when visiting hours are. I’m taking you home.”

“No,” she groaned, wiping sleep from her eyes as she sat up. “I wanted to stay in case something happens.”

“You’re still in your clothes from last night. I’m taking you home to get changed at least. Besides, your Dad’s in stable condition, and they have your number if they need to reach you.”

She fell immediately asleep in his car, only waking when they arrived at her place.

“Thanks,” she said, walking up the steps, feeling emotional. God he was so nice, so supportive – and she felt a pang of regret for being so mean and irrational to him the night before, when he’d arranged for her to get to the hospital. “Thanks for everything last night.”

“Don’t mention it,” he said, following her inside.

“I don’t think I can sleep any more. I’m just going to wait for them to call; want a coffee or tea?” she said.

“You need to get some rest, not have more coffee,” he insisted.

Her gaze shot over toward him. Who did he think he was telling her when she could sleep? She lifted her chin. “I’m not going to sleep,” she said stubbornly.

He picked her up, and carried her up the stairs, taking charge because although she hated to admit it. She was being much too tired to be reasonable. Despite herself, she started laughing. “Matthew! Put me down! You’ll fall down the stairs.”

He carried her into her room and dropped her onto the bed, where she collapsed, feeling vulnerable and small as he looked down at her with his large blue eyes.

The memory of them at his hotel penthouse came back into her mind. He was utterly gorgeous and Sophie was suddenly filled with a burning desire to have him.

She peeled off her cardigan, felling suddenly provocative. She then let the strap of her dress fall off her other shoulder. His eyes rounded, and he visibly swallowed, a dangerous expression crossing his face. He released a large breath, and folded his arms.

“Okay…” He looked at her and then at the doorway as though contemplating a hasty exit. “Where are your pajamas or whatever you wear to sleep in?” he instructed. “Get changed. Now.” He turned his back, refusing to continue watching her or get roped into her seduction. “Tell me when you’re done getting changed.”

She felt like he’d punched her in the guts, the rejection brutal. God she’d been so stupid. She closed her eyes momentarily. Of course, he only wanted her for a night. How stupid of her to think he actually liked her. At the hotel – it had been like a fantasy. But here, back in London, at her place, at her house, in her bed. Maybe he’d feel like a cretin, too guilty to have a one-night stand. Especially since now he was probably sober and not fuelled with alcohol. She struggled to find her composure, plastering a winning smile on her face. He would never know that her stomach was tying itself in knots with absolute shame at her sheer stupidity. She’d so completely misread the signals, thinking he actually might have wanted more than just sex with her.

She undressed from her New Year’s outfit rather quickly, and pulled on her pink silk night dress, then got underneath the covers, feeling cold and suddenly very tired. “Done,” she said, in an overly polite voice, wishing he’d just leave. She didn’t have the fight left in her to ask him to leave.

He turned round, came over to the bed and leaned over. He pulled the blanket right up to her chin and kissed her forehead. “Okay, Princess, I’ll tell you when you can wake up. Get some rest.”

He then proceeded to sit on the side of her bed, and removed his shoes, then lay down, fully clothed onto the bed. He lay right next to her, turning his body to face her. Quite tenderly he picked up one of her hands and kissed the back of her palm.

Sophie was confused. He clearly didn’t want to sleep with her. Yet he lay intimately next to her. She didn’t understand him. She closed her eyes, so she wouldn’t have to see him. Her senses seemed more alive. She could smell his aftershave, feel his rhythmic breathing there next to her. She tried to ignore his presence; tried to pretend she couldn’t hear the sound of his breathing and the way it gently touched her cheek as she drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 26

The next day Matthew behaved strictly like a friend and he dropped her off at the hospital. Sophie thanked him politely for driving her as she practically leapt out of the car and away from the awkward silence that stretched between them. The mortification of throwing herself at him the night before was still fresh in her thoughts.

She rushed into her father’s ward. Roger lay in the bed asleep, looking small and fragile. His face was pale and his head rested on the pillow. Gloria sat rigidly at his bedside. Her face was drawn with worry as she clutched Roger’s hand. “Don’t you worry about anything dear,” she fretted, patting his palm. Sophie volunteered to help in any way possible.

“We’ll get through this,” Gloria said to Sophie. “Working together is the only way the family will get through this. It will be so much harder if there are secrets between us. Families stick together. Families trust each other. We’ll get through this.”

Sophie clutched her mother’s hand. “Yes. We will get through this.”

***

Sophie was nervous about going to her next swimming lesson with Matthew. Embarrassment rushing her thoughts in bursts, thinking about her behaviour with Matthew on New Year’s Eve and how close they’d come to having sex with each other. Still, she couldn’t help herself, and wore a new swimsuit to the pool and ate very little. There was still a chance he might possibly like her, wasn’t there?

But an invisible boundary, the friend zone, had been erected between them. There was absolutely no flirtation as she got into the pool. He barely even laid eyes on her, avoiding all eye contact. He barked orders like a drill sergeant and she tried to fight off the realisation that once cast into the friend territory, any romantic notion was over.

Matthew didn’t even comment on her new swimsuit. His gaze seemed to float over her shoulder as other woman wandered around the pool in their two-piece suits. Sophie felt that even if she did nudie runs in front of him or started burning bras or cart-wheeling in her underpants she’d never get his attention. She’d lost it. Since their passionate kiss, he’d simply lost interest. Obviously he didn’t feel the same sexual chemistry. He was probably used to having dozens of girls. Maybe he’d felt nothing at all. He’d probably just wanted a one night stand.

“Keep kicking,” he urged, having asked Sophie to do two full laps holding a kickboard, without stopping.

He made it sound so easy, but even kicking as hard as she could, she felt like she was churning water as she propelled herself forward. Matthew demonstrated that she should take all breaths in a calm and controlled manner. A gentle tilt of the head, one to the right and then to the left, and she would be fine.

She felt like a cat with no skill or grace in the water. She was ashamed to turn her head in the water, with her lips puckered and sucking for air. She looked completely uncoordinated, a nightmare in the water. There was absolutely no wonder in her mind that Matthew was not interested in her. A super-swimmer like him probably needed someone of his equal level. How could she have been so stupid?

A strange feeling overcame her. She was unsure of herself. The loss of the potential relationship with Matthew hurt. Even the friendly flirtation between them was over. Eliminated. Sophie realized with great difficulty that, perhaps in the back of her mind, she had hoped they would get together. Dangerous, hurtful, heartbreaking, hope. Hope was something absolutely beyond her control because she hadn’t realised until New Year’s Eve that she’d wanted him. She had hoped Matthew, who was nice, patient, sexy, smart, and fun, would like her. He was someone who could fulfil her wildest dreams, and she’d thought he’d felt something similar about her.

Finally after about six laps with her legs feeling like jelly, Matthew indicated she should stop. “We’re not done.” He looked at the clock on the other side of the pool.